TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

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sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Sir Tonk posted:

https://twitter.com/maggieNYT/status/836011374753034240

ha what

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:10

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 15:04

MariusLecter: Sep 5, 2009; NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

Lol there are poeple who don't get why wick went rampage on the Russian guys in the beginning of chapter 2

Like
my dude, he is John loving Wick

Everything has a price

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:10

Sir Tonk: Apr 18, 2006; Young Orc

cumshitter posted:

im drunk enough to tell this story

i had a guy call in one day an dhe was crying right off the bat. turns out he wanted to ride motorcycles with his buddies. all of them were like, "Get a Honda Shadow! It is 250cc, that is a good starter bike! Don't let them talk you into something bigger."

For those who don't know about engines 250cc is the amount of air displaced by the pistons every time they pump and create the mechanical energy that drives the car. so like 250cc would be 1/8th of a 2 liter of soda

this idiot walks into the dealership and they sell him a Victory Triump as his first bike. it had a 1720cc engine. its engine displaced more than 3/4ths of a 2 liter of soda every time it pumped the pistons, something it does multiple times per second

now on top of buying a very expensive bike he had not even received his motorcycle rider certification, which meant his insurance premiums were easily $250 a month. no biggie, he would go learn to ride

the trainer took one look at his bike and said, "Go home. You're an idiot. I will not train you to ride this bike because you will kill yourself. You can not pay me enough money to help you with your own suicide, you idiot. You gently caress. You shitassed moron."

so he calls us trying to cancel the lease and lol sorry your $480 a month + $250 in insurance lease cant be cancelled. sorry bro, but the contract says you have to own it for 24 months so have fun parking that beast you bought in your garage for two years

This is like half the people that buy motorcycles. Everyone tells them to get a Ninja/Shadow 250 and they then go buy some huge Harley.

Two days later they lay it down.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:11

MaxxBot: Oct 6, 2003; you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!

https://twitter.com/LightskinJesuSP/status/835629931518373888

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:11

Dapper_Swindler: Feb 14, 2012; Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.

whats sad/lovely is that none of that money will go to anything really useful in the military. just making more stupid poo poo we will eventualy sell to some shithole like saudi arabia or sell to cops here. we won't do anything about the infastructure on various auxillary stuff. or vets or better armor.

Sir Tonk posted:

https://twitter.com/maggieNYT/status/836011374753034240

Chief Ryan Owens is the new Horst Wessel or Lei Feng isn't he.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:12

tacodaemon: Nov 27, 2006

Sir Tonk posted:

Two days later they lay it down.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7FspsAHqfQ

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:12

deadgoon: Dec 4, 2014; by FactsAreUseless

despite all my cat rage im still just a rat in a cat cage

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:12

Shugojin: Sep 6, 2007; THE TAIL THAT BURNS TWICE AS BRIGHT...

cumshitter posted:

im drunk enough to tell this story

i had a guy call in one day an dhe was crying right off the bat. turns out he wanted to ride motorcycles with his buddies. all of them were like, "Get a Honda Shadow! It is 250cc, that is a good starter bike! Don't let them talk you into something bigger."

For those who don't know about engines 250cc is the amount of air displaced by the pistons every time they pump and create the mechanical energy that drives the car. so like 250cc would be 1/8th of a 2 liter of soda

this idiot walks into the dealership and they sell him a Victory Triump as his first bike. it had a 1720cc engine. its engine displaced more than 3/4ths of a 2 liter of soda every time it pumped the pistons, something it does multiple times per second

now on top of buying a very expensive bike he had not even received his motorcycle rider certification, which meant his insurance premiums were easily $250 a month. no biggie, he would go learn to ride

the trainer took one look at his bike and said, "Go home. You're an idiot. I will not train you to ride this bike because you will kill yourself. You can not pay me enough money to help you with your own suicide, you idiot. You gently caress. You shitassed moron."

so he calls us trying to cancel the lease and lol sorry your $480 a month + $250 in insurance lease cant be cancelled. sorry bro, but the contract says you have to own it for 24 months so have fun parking that beast you bought in your garage for two years

I'm glad u don't work there anymore

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:13

passionate dongs: May 23, 2001; Snitchin' is Bitchin'

Sir Tonk posted:

https://twitter.com/maggieNYT/status/836011374753034240

it must be really hard to not laugh in the spice room

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:13

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

https://twitter.com/greggturkington/status/835988604019068930

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:13

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

deadgoon posted:

how many ccs in a cumshit

when im done ill tell you

ive had to flush at least three times so at a conseative estimate i will say "a lot"

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:13

deadgoon: Dec 4, 2014; by FactsAreUseless

i think if ur gonna rip someone off wiht a bad lease u should definitely give them a gun too so they can murder/suicide

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:14

ded redd: Aug 1, 2010

Dapper_Swindler posted:

whats sad/lovely is that none of that money will go to anything really useful in the military. just making more stupid poo poo we will eventualy sell to some shithole like saudi arabia or sell to cops here. we won't do anything about the infastructure on various auxillary stuff. or vets or better armor.

Par for the course, unless he unveils the construction of more nuclear-capable warheads.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:14

Junkyard Poodle: May 6, 2011

cumshitter posted:

im drunk enough to tell this story

i had a guy call in one day an dhe was crying right off the bat. turns out he wanted to ride motorcycles with his buddies. all of them were like, "Get a Honda Shadow! It is 250cc, that is a good starter bike! Don't let them talk you into something bigger."

For those who don't know about engines 250cc is the amount of air displaced by the pistons every time they pump and create the mechanical energy that drives the car. so like 250cc would be 1/8th of a 2 liter of soda

this idiot walks into the dealership and they sell him a Victory Triump as his first bike. it had a 1720cc engine. its engine displaced more than 3/4ths of a 2 liter of soda every time it pumped the pistons, something it does multiple times per second

now on top of buying a very expensive bike he had not even received his motorcycle rider certification, which meant his insurance premiums were easily $250 a month. no biggie, he would go learn to ride

the trainer took one look at his bike and said, "Go home. You're an idiot. I will not train you to ride this bike because you will kill yourself. You can not pay me enough money to help you with your own suicide, you idiot. You gently caress. You shitassed moron."

so he calls us trying to cancel the lease and lol sorry your $480 a month + $250 in insurance lease cant be cancelled. sorry bro, but the contract says you have to own it for 24 months so have fun parking that beast you bought in your garage for two years

16k for a temporary art piece in his garage for him to reflect on his impotence

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:14

MariusLecter: Sep 5, 2009; NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

deadgoon posted:

why the cat rage room

I can't tell where the floor ends and the walls begin and I don't feel safe and gently caress you hisss�sssss

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:14

Dapper_Swindler: Feb 14, 2012; Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.

Office Pig posted:

Par for the course, unless he unveils the construction of more nuclear-capable warheads.

hasnt he said he was going to already.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:15

shiksa: Nov 9, 2009; i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

Vertical Lime posted:

https://twitter.com/FightOwensFight/status/836018504893620225

i found it through his twitter, i respect kevin owens enough to not act like those monsters.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:15

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

Admiral Ray posted:

dude shoulda gotten a boss hoss instead. 6.2 liters on a motorcycle for people that want an engine with two wheels.

a motorcycle with 24mpg lmaooooo

Holy poo poo that must be insane to drive

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:15

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Shugojin posted:

I'm glad u don't work there anymore

me too

i tried to do the best i could there. most people dont understand the difference between a lease and a loan

"NO. Do NOT pay extra every month. This is a rental agreement with a purchase option at the end. Would you give extra rent money to your landlord? It's the same idea."

that was the only thing that stuck with them an di was pretty proud when other people at my job were copying that that line

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:16

Sir Tonk: Apr 18, 2006; Young Orc

tacodaemon posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7FspsAHqfQ

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:16

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

it is literally impossible to discuss not-too-complicated financal things with people when you can tell theyre not paying attention and just thinking "VROOOMM VROOOOOOMMMM" in their heads because theyre like 10 seconds away from riding a motorcycle.

but i tried

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:17

Der Meister: May 12, 2001

Bip Roberts posted:

Middle America is pretty okay here and we don't vote trump so dunno your prob

fukk u buddy

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:18

Zerg Mans: Oct 19, 2006

My cat found a nice spot in our newly cleaned out basement

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:19

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Shugojin posted:

I'm glad u don't work there anymore

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:19

tacodaemon: Nov 27, 2006

i approve of yr joists zegermans

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:19

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

zegermans posted:

My cat found a nice spot in our newly cleaned out basement

Put a sensor up there that plays a really loud dog barking when it triggers

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:19

ded redd: Aug 1, 2010

Dapper_Swindler posted:

hasnt he said he was going to already.

oh, right.

well this one's going to be even bigger, better, and the fallout particles will be soaked in urine

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:20

Der Meister: May 12, 2001

Citizen Tayne posted:

California: completely destroyed by the unexpected occurrence of "weather"

have you spent any time here at all or what

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:20

Zerg Mans: Oct 19, 2006

Epic High Five posted:

Put a sensor up there that plays a really loud dog barking when it triggers

I like her having a safe spot from the other cats, and it gets nice and warm when the heat runs

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:20

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

cumshitter posted:

when im done ill tell you

ive had to flush at least three times so at a conseative estimate i will say "a lot"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EED-7aNuMiE

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:20

MariusLecter: Sep 5, 2009; NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

@cumshitter a buddy of mine got a similar monster bike because he was afraid a smaller bike would look like a toy with his fat rear end in it

He heard people say similar things about his mustang cobra

Lol he paid extra montyly and everything

He only rode it once and almost died like in that episode of Louie where he buys a midlife crisis bike and crashes immediately

I even told him about that ep at the Harley dealership and that he's too young for a midlife crisis bike
We don't talk much anymore

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:20

Vertical Lime: Dec 11, 2004

https://twitter.com/markknoller/status/836016812357730304
https://twitter.com/markknoller/status/836018638893240321

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:21

deadgoon: Dec 4, 2014; by FactsAreUseless

cumshitter posted:

it is literally impossible to discuss not-too-complicated financal things with people when you can tell theyre not paying attention and just thinking "VROOOMM VROOOOOOMMMM" in their heads because theyre like 10 seconds away from riding a motorcycle.

but i tried

thats exactly what i do when i try to read marx

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:21

tacodaemon: Nov 27, 2006

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsrAGjesyYY

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:21

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Vertical Lime posted:

https://twitter.com/markknoller/status/836018638893240321

well he did get those rosfnet monies so yeah, his family totally has done everything they set out to do.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:22

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

RIP C-SPAM

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:22

Solarin: Nov 15, 2007

cumshitter posted:

im drunk enough to tell this story

i had a guy call in one day an dhe was crying right off the bat. turns out he wanted to ride motorcycles with his buddies. all of them were like, "Get a Honda Shadow! It is 250cc, that is a good starter bike! Don't let them talk you into something bigger."

For those who don't know about engines 250cc is the amount of air displaced by the pistons every time they pump and create the mechanical energy that drives the car. so like 250cc would be 1/8th of a 2 liter of soda

this idiot walks into the dealership and they sell him a Victory Triump as his first bike. it had a 1720cc engine. its engine displaced more than 3/4ths of a 2 liter of soda every time it pumped the pistons, something it does multiple times per second

now on top of buying a very expensive bike he had not even received his motorcycle rider certification, which meant his insurance premiums were easily $250 a month. no biggie, he would go learn to ride

the trainer took one look at his bike and said, "Go home. You're an idiot. I will not train you to ride this bike because you will kill yourself. You can not pay me enough money to help you with your own suicide, you idiot. You gently caress. You shitassed moron."

so he calls us trying to cancel the lease and lol sorry your $480 a month + $250 in insurance lease cant be cancelled. sorry bro, but the contract says you have to own it for 24 months so have fun parking that beast you bought in your garage for two years

kill all salesmen

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:22