TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

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Hillary 2024: Nov 13, 2016; by vyelkin

the black husserl posted:

the diction is so masterful lol, "united states radio simpleton"

https://twitter.com/DPRK_News/status/835965722077585408

https://twitter.com/boring_as_heck/status/835938032683380736

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:22

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# ? May 16, 2024 06:58

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Epic High Five posted:

a motorcycle with 24mpg lmaooooo

Holy poo poo that must be insane to drive

they tell you about the 24 mpegs but never mention that theyre all clips of the heathcliff cartoon in 240p

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:22

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

https://twitter.com/greggturkington/status/836023594937282560

I highly suggest watching this. Tim and Gregg's annular live Oscar special is one of the funniest pieces of comedy of the year. It'll be on Tim's Youtube channel.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:23

MariusLecter: Sep 5, 2009; NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

Still loving bugs me about buying one or all my Kalashnikov's because his dumbass was suckered into buying cheap clones at a premium and is super jealous lolmao

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:23

Vertical Lime: Dec 11, 2004

also seeing mel gibson on the oscar preshow a victory for him is a victory for TRUMP

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:23

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

zegermans posted:

except the ACA repeal, tax reform, and jobs

so like almost everthing

also locking her up

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:23

Fallen Hamprince: Nov 12, 2016

Dapper_Swindler posted:

whats sad/lovely is that none of that money will go to anything really useful in the military. just making more stupid poo poo we will eventualy sell to some shithole like saudi arabia or sell to cops here. we won't do anything about the infastructure on various auxillary stuff. or vets or better armor.

can't wait to spend half a billion dollars on some Bradley replacement for the army to decide not to buy

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:23

Zerg Mans: Oct 19, 2006

Epic High Five posted:

also locking her up

who is this 'her'

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:24

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

dont drive a motorcycle on american roads

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:24

Bert Roberge: Nov 28, 2003

We have a lot of weirdo super serious fuckers here during nite crew time.

I'd like to propose that we build a wall or a well that we can throw them down.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:24

shiksa: Nov 9, 2009; i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

zegermans posted:

except the ACA repeal, tax reform, and jobs

so like almost everthing

americas great again, you ungrateful idiot

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:24

Leviathan: Oct 8, 2001; _{I hear the jury's

still out.. on science.}; Fun Shoe

shiksa posted:

americas great again, you ungrateful idiot

wheres the wall

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:25

A Big Fuckin Hornet: Nov 1, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

so whats the woke narrative for the oscars this year

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:26

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

Andrei Dorkovsky posted:

so whats the woke narrative for the oscars this year

bleached smiles jerk each other off for awhile

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:26

MariusLecter: Sep 5, 2009; NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

Leviathan posted:

wheres the wall

The wall was inside us the whole time

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:26

A Big Fuckin Hornet: Nov 1, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

Epic High Five posted:

bleached smiles jerk each other off for awhile

i just hope enough minorities were nominated to everyones liking

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:27

Sir Tonk: Apr 18, 2006; Young Orc

https://www.twitch.tv/twitch

twitch is streaming the IMDB viewing party, with bonus Oreos trunk!

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:28

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

Andrei Dorkovsky posted:

i just hope enough minorities were nominated to everyones liking

Do the Heptapods from Arrival count?

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:28

deadgoon: Dec 4, 2014; by FactsAreUseless

for some reason my c-spam bookmark is titled "forums.somethingawful.com | 521: Web server is down"

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:29

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

BONGHITZ posted:

dont drive a motorcycle on american roads

how are the roads the problem?

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:29

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

MariusLecter posted:

@cumshitter a buddy of mine got a similar monster bike because he was afraid a smaller bike would look like a toy with his fat rear end in it

He heard people say similar things about his mustang cobra

Lol he paid extra montyly and everything

He only rode it once and almost died like in that episode of Louie where he buys a midlife crisis bike and crashes immediately

I even told him about that ep at the Harley dealership and that he's too young for a midlife crisis bike
We don't talk much anymore

lol one time one of our dealers called in and aked to talk to me.

"Cumshitter, I'm going to email you a link from one of our clients."

"Uh, OK."

turns out some idiot was riding his bike and his buddy with a gopro attached to his helmet captured him dicking around in traffic and trying to do some kind of front wheel stop right before collding into the back of a pickup. it flipped him off the vehicle and sent him flying into the pull over lane at like 40mph. his bike managed to keep itslef upright longer than he did and crashed into the cement barrier

his idiot friend decided that he had to upload this to youtue immediately for some sick upvotes

said idiot calls me up like 30 minutes later to complain about how his bike had inherent mechanical problems that caused him to get into a minor fender bender. OK, I sez, i'll note that. thanks to his idiot friend we forced him to pay for the entirety of the lease despite the fact that he could have lied and had an insurance writeoff if his freind had not uploaded evidence to youtube

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:29

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

Oscar Special time

I'm sure Tim will have some great things to say about our new president.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:29

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

why are the cats raging

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:29

Vertical Lime: Dec 11, 2004

Andrei Dorkovsky posted:

i just hope enough minorities were nominated to everyones liking

oh that's not a problem this year

the real drama is who has the biggest political statement

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:29

Sir Tonk: Apr 18, 2006; Young Orc

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:29

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

tacodaemon posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsrAGjesyYY

no lavender dinosaur jedi voted 2

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:30

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

cumshitter posted:

lol one time one of our dealers called in and aked to talk to me.

"Cumshitter, I'm going to email you a link from one of our clients."

"Uh, OK."

turns out some idiot was riding his bike and his buddy with a gopro attached to his helmet captured him dicking around in traffic and trying to do some kind of front wheel stop right before collding into the back of a pickup. it flipped him off the vehicle and sent him flying into the pull over lane at like 40mph. his bike managed to keep itslef upright longer than he did and crashed into the cement barrier

his idiot friend decided that he had to upload this to youtue immediately for some sick upvotes

said idiot calls me up like 30 minutes later to complain about how his bike had inherent mechanical problems that caused him to get into a minor fender bender. OK, I sez, i'll note that. thanks to his idiot friend we forced him to pay for the entirety of the lease despite the fact that he could have lied and had an insurance writeoff if his freind had not uploaded evidence to youtube

I'm glad that person has ethical friends.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:31

Turdfuzz: Jul 23, 2008

o golly an award show yaaaay stab my dick offf yeaaaayayayyaaaa

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:31

Der Meister: May 12, 2001

Bert Roberge posted:

We have a lot of weirdo super serious fuckers here during nite crew time.

I'd like to propose that we build a wall or a well that we can throw them down.

this post is daycrew af. which means it sucks

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:31

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

cumshitter posted:

lol one time one of our dealers called in and aked to talk to me.

"Cumshitter, I'm going to email you a link from one of our clients."

"Uh, OK."

turns out some idiot was riding his bike and his buddy with a gopro attached to his helmet captured him dicking around in traffic and trying to do some kind of front wheel stop right before collding into the back of a pickup. it flipped him off the vehicle and sent him flying into the pull over lane at like 40mph. his bike managed to keep itslef upright longer than he did and crashed into the cement barrier

his idiot friend decided that he had to upload this to youtue immediately for some sick upvotes

said idiot calls me up like 30 minutes later to complain about how his bike had inherent mechanical problems that caused him to get into a minor fender bender. OK, I sez, i'll note that. thanks to his idiot friend we forced him to pay for the entirety of the lease despite the fact that he could have lied and had an insurance writeoff if his freind had not uploaded evidence to youtube

Someone has the job of sitting around all day searching youtube with insurance claim information and I want that job

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:31

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

Three "g" greg"g" is the worst.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:31

swampland: Oct 16, 2007; Dear Mr Cave, if you do not release the bats we will be forced to take legal action

Mariana Horchata posted:

hot tak�: desecration of graves accomplishes nothing aside from making u a major rear end in a top hat

Not true, it can make the family of the dead person feel bad and make certain groups feel unsafe in their community

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:32

Sir Tonk: Apr 18, 2006; Young Orc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ-yxhau3KI

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:33

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Turdfuzz posted:

o golly an award show yaaaay stab my dick offf yeaaaayayayyaaaa

buttigieg

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:33

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

Bip Roberts posted:

Three "g" greg"g" is the worst.

https://twitter.com/greggrulz/status/835833718518525954

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:33

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

Tatum Girlparts posted:

why are the cats raging

being in a cage, we're all just a cat in a rage

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:34

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

cumshitter posted:

im drunk enough to tell this story

i had a guy call in one day an dhe was crying right off the bat. turns out he wanted to ride motorcycles with his buddies. all of them were like, "Get a Honda Shadow! It is 250cc, that is a good starter bike! Don't let them talk you into something bigger."

For those who don't know about engines 250cc is the amount of air displaced by the pistons every time they pump and create the mechanical energy that drives the car. so like 250cc would be 1/8th of a 2 liter of soda

this idiot walks into the dealership and they sell him a Victory Triump as his first bike. it had a 1720cc engine. its engine displaced more than 3/4ths of a 2 liter of soda every time it pumped the pistons, something it does multiple times per second

now on top of buying a very expensive bike he had not even received his motorcycle rider certification, which meant his insurance premiums were easily $250 a month. no biggie, he would go learn to ride

the trainer took one look at his bike and said, "Go home. You're an idiot. I will not train you to ride this bike because you will kill yourself. You can not pay me enough money to help you with your own suicide, you idiot. You gently caress. You shitassed moron."

so he calls us trying to cancel the lease and lol sorry your $480 a month + $250 in insurance lease cant be cancelled. sorry bro, but the contract says you have to own it for 24 months so have fun parking that beast you bought in your garage for two years

people lease motorcycles now? ahahahhahhaahhahaha

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:34

Vertical Lime: Dec 11, 2004

oh look it's the dude that ruined janet jackson's career

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:34

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Nichael posted:

Also, just to drag out this dumb topic a little more, let me inject a little substance into it. The only reason tipping is customary in this nation is because of an incredibly hosed up idea that employers don't have to pay people in the food service industry much, and instead pass that on to consumers. This in turn leads to people being paid vastly different amounts for doing the same job, based solely on how "pleasing" they were to the customers, or if the customer was in a bad mood or not. This is so god drat dumb, and until sensible labor regulations are in place to make these people be paid fairly and equally, it's only right to tip people a lot if you're going to go out to eat.

I am always amused by restaurants that tack on a service charge under the premise of providing their employees a living wage rather than just adjusting their menu prices accordingly and paying their employees.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:34

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# ? May 16, 2024 06:58

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Vertical Lime posted:

oh look it's the dude that ruined janet jackson's career

Michael's dead, bro.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 02:35

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

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