Danaru posted:

quote:

I have been talking to a girl who shall go by the name of 'Samus," for quite a while now. At first, I did not see her as more than a friend. However, due to current events involving a break-up on her end, my thoughts for her have changed.

Nevertheless, everything came to an head yesterday when she send me a text stating the following sentence that confuses me.

Essentially, it is a it's not you, it's me type of message but the one line in the very long text confuses me. I haven't even asked her about it yet because it's starting to become a meh type of thing on my end.

However, I need help translating it into simpler terms so that I can understand it clearly. Alright, here we go!

"Oh where to begin?" I read the letter, I liked and appreciated it but I'm not really in a place for a relationship. Especially with you, because I can't get past with being friends.

That last line confuses me to the very end. What does that mean? Is it something about that so-called "friend zone?" Is it about how she is struggling with something involving the two of us. Thanks in advance!

TL;DR: Got a confusing text from someone I've been talking to, need help with making it clearer.

HAT FETISH posted:

This guy posted an update lol

A [20F] friend of mine send me [23M] a text that confuses me. I need some help translating it.

beep boop

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

oh thank jesus it's short, that dude writes like timecube got anime poisoning

quote:

My Maid-of-Honor [27/F] and I [27/F] got into a huge fight over jokes she's made about my Fiance's [25/M] Penis.Relationships
submitted 12 minutes ago by Outofthepicklejar

My fiance Andy is the nicest, sweetest guy. He's kind, a good provider, a great friend, partner and lover. I've never met anyone who was more intellectually challenging, gifted, or made me happy. All-in-all, I'm so happy to be marrying him.

My best friend, Kate, my ex-fiance Josh and I all went to school together. Josh was a typical bro, douche. He only proposed after I begged him to settle-down, was always catting around, was lazy, disinterested in getting a job and would rather drink monster watching my TV in my apartment while I did his laundry. Doomed relationship. We broke-up after the umpteenth time of him getting too cozy with other women. I booted him out.

We were always a trio and Kate liked him. Josh was funny, good looking and could always get us into clubs. But, I've grown tired of clubbing. Josh's good looks were the only thing that got him anywhere, otherwise, he is a total lout. Back in college, when skinny dipping, Josh (who had an average physique) whipped down his pants and Kate saw his willy. Admittedly, it was pretty big. But, Josh sucked in bed. He didn't have any drive and just relied on the fact that it was big. That's it.

I hadn't thought about Josh since he last texted me for Andy's number asking for a small loan. But, Kate hasn't. Kate was over Friday night and we were drinking some wine when she joked about the size of Josh's penis. She's been doing this with increasing frequency over the last couple of weeks. Always when she's over. Always within earshot of Andy. Her last comments were abrasive and seemed like a vague warning to Andy that I couldn't possibly be satisfied. Andy played the joke off, but he was hurt.

Saturday we had a group event and again, Kate busted out the comments. These were even more warning like. She's basically calling me a whore and Andy a loser. I finally had it and told her to stop. They were hurtful comments and I was fed-up. We left the dinner early and went home. Andy said he was fine, but later turned-down sex and Sunday morning I found him researching penis enlargement. I ask him about it and he sheepishly tells me that he's really freaked-out about it, he feels really 'small' and wants to make it bigger.

Kate calls and asks if I'm ready to apologize. I just went ballistic. She lit a god-drat fuse in my relationship with Andy. He won't touch me or get changed in front of me because he's now embarrassed, Kate's intimating that I'm a whore, meanwhile, I should apologize? We fought more and she hung-up.

Am I in the wrong here? My other bridesmaids are calling to help smooth things over, but I'm done. I ignored her comments for a few months and I am not even sure why she cares about Josh or who is weiner is disappointing; but, I don't care and I don't miss him or his member.

I want to give Kate one chance to apologize or I'm cutting her out. I've ignored her other character flaws because I thought she was my friend, but this just too much.

Am I being unreasonable? I feel like giving her one more chance to apologize or we're done seems fair. I am also not sure why she is so interested in an old relationship I had.

And, two, how should I go about reassuring Andy so that we go back to normal. I liked the way things were, not as they stand and I want to make him feel comfortable again.

tl;dr: My friend/Maid-of-Honour insulted me and my fiance and I blew-up at her. She thinks I should apologize for getting mad at her, but I've had it and think she should apologize. I also want to see how I can go about reassuring my fiance who is now self-conscious and feels inadequate.

quote:

How do I [m 45] help my wife [45 f] with loss of baby?Non-Romantic
submitted 1 day ago * by Upsethubs

As you can see, my wife and I are older. We have a son and a daughter both in college and have been together for 25 years, and weren't going to have any more kids. Then, she got pregnant.

It was great we were happy, we were ready, we are in a great position in our lives to have another baby. The pregnancy was fine, and we had no worries, then she had our son.

He had an enlarged heart that no one caught. I'm personally trying to cope with the fact that no one saw it. He lived for three days and passed and it was the worst experience of my life. I was holding him when he died.

My wife is an absolute mess. We made the guest bedroom into the baby's room and she goes in there and screams. I'll go home and she'll be laying there with the things we bought him and bawling. She won't go anywhere, she barely eats or speaks to anyone but me. She does go to greif counseling, but it's not helping. I did go to a session with her once, she's mad at me because I was holding him when he died. While I understand her anger, it's misplaced. Because that was incredibly hard and I'm still having nightmares about it...

When I suggested maybe we should donate the stuff she had a meltdown. I could go on and on about all the things she's been doing since the loss.

TL;DR older parents, baby died of unexpected heart issues and wife is beside herself. Greif counseling not helping.

EDIT:A few people have asked, and, she doesn't work. Never has. My son describes me as "loaded" got into the internet before it took off.

All I'm saying about her greif is she hasn't improved at all. She was this upset six months ago. I want her to grieve, and I'd never take that away from her, but I also want her to get better... I love her.

HAT FETISH posted:

This guy posted an update lol

A [20F] friend of mine send me [23M] a text that confuses me. I need some help translating it.

beep boop

quote:

Throwaway because my wife reddits – all names have been changed, need some advice.

My wife and I have been in a loving relationship for almost a decade, and we had never really experienced any major bumps until now. As cliché as it sounds, we appeared to be the poster child of a happy couple among our friends. I took some financial risks a couple of years back and my wife trusted me completely and weathered the financial hardships that ensued like a champ, however now our risks have begun to pay dividends and we feel that this is the perfect time to start a family…

…we’ve been trying for 2 years.

During this period my wife tried a lot of things – she even dabbled in alternative medicine which was surprising given her nature. I however, refused to believe the issue lay with me and shut-down any suggestions of getting tested; this mostly stemmed from insecurities about my masculinity being questioned. After some productive and long conversations with my wife, I realised that dodging the issue was selfish of me given the many changes my wife had made so as to help with her fertility. She assured me that she loved me, and even on the off-chance that I had a low sperm count, we could always pursue other avenues. Spurred on by the support, I manned up and booked an appointment with my GP a couple of months ago. After the tests a week or so goes past and the GP finally shares our results. He reveals that the tests show that I am infertile, a verdict that stunned both my wife and I. He listed some alternative routes we could take, but I was simply too shocked to even take it in. I expected some words of consolation from my wife in my moment of weakness, even a hug, anything to lift me from my depression but I was met with only stone cold silence. Once we got home, she finally spoke and told me that she will be sleeping in the guest room for the next couple of days.

I had no one to confide in and my very own wife was rejecting me after I had shown weakness. I did not know where our marriage stood, but what I do know is that I had never felt lonelier than I had at that point. Despite all of this, I still loved my wife and believed that we would get through this in time. About a month ago I decided to confront her so we could finally put these issues to bed – however, instead of a productive discussion my wife hit me with an ultimatum: either we opt for the sperm donor route or she walks. I refused to believe what I was hearing but she was being completely serious. She said that I had wasted the most fertile years of her life and that knowingly keeping someone in a childless marriage is something she would not wish on her worst enemy.

Now my wife is not an emotional person so seeing her cry as she was saying this shocked me to the core. I managed to calm her down only by saying that I agree and that I am willing to help her find a suitable clinic. She tensed up at this and said that she will not go with a clinic as she does not “trust them enough”, rather she already has someone in mind. I ask her who and she mentions the one name that could possibly hurt me the most, Ben. Now Ben is an old mutual friend of ours I’ve never liked or got along with mostly due to his arrogance and jerk-ish personality, he also had a short fling with my wife whilst they were at college (something he has boasted about behind our backs). She then goes on to tell me that she has already spoken to Ben and that he is “happy to take care of our embarrassing problem.” It felt as if my wife had stabbed me in the back. I’m a notoriously private person and I don’t open up to people easily, so for her to go and tell another soul (especially Ben) about a confidential issue felt like a massive betrayal. Her reasoning for choosing Ben as the donor is because he has "all the outward physical traits and appearance” that she wants our child to have.

Now I don’t want to lose my wife, I love her with all my heart so I accepted. They have yet to do the deed (scheduled for next month), but she has been perked up recently and I haven’t seen her this excited in a long time. I am really torn right now, I feel extremely guilty over even contemplating leaving her as I have lost my wife years. Will I get my wife back after she gets pregnant or I’m I making a huge mistake?

tl;dr: Found out I am infertile. Wife wants rear end in a top hat friend to father our child.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

and yet you don't post them. Shame, Jeff. Shame.

please don't bane for mod sass

E: that infertile one. Holy mackinaw

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

That last one is a doozy:

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

lol I think I can infer most of the answers without the text

Barudak posted:

Thats depressing, sorry about your impending divorce.

quote:

So I will keep this short. Earlier this week I had a very important job interview. Knowing this was coming up for Christmas my dad took me to a tailor to get a custom fitted suit as I have suits but they are all discount bran buy one get one free types.

Now on to my GF, we live together and have never really argued. She has a dog that is a young lab and a complete rear end in a top hat. I don't usually mind him but I certainly don't like him. He isn't trained she doesn't try and train him, but whatever.

Morning of the interview I am about to get ready and the dog keeps jumping on me. I ask, "Hey, when I come out can you either put him outside or hold onto him I don't want him jumping on me in my suit." She says fine.

So I am ready, I am looking good, I am super loving pumped and I walk downstairs to do my runway spins and get her feedback. No sooner did I hit the bottom of the stairs did she go, "Wish him luck, go get him." and let her stupid loving dog bum rush me. He is in mid leap when I just out of panick and instinct cuff him with the back of my hand. He goes down and starts crawling and whining and being submissive. She screams, "What the gently caress?! Why did you hit him like that?!" I respond with that I told her to control him, I don't want prints and hair all over my suit, why the gently caress would she do that?

We started arguing. She says I am an rear end in a top hat and he was wishing me luck. I am still confused about why she thought what she did was a good idea, why did she ignore my request.

I kind of realize how stupid this argument is and just say whatever, I have an interview and take off. Interview went great despite the morning stress, and my COO even came up to me and told me he heard I crushed it. So I was feeling good. I text her and some other friends to get some celebration beers. She ignored me. I end up going out with some mutual friends

"So we heard you freaked out and hit her dog? What's up with that?"

I explain the situation and they side with me... But this was Tuesday and I still haven't heard from her and she is staying with a friend.
Am I a loving psycho monster? I feel like she was being an airhead and I shouldn't bend over backwards to apologize. I still don't know what the hell she was thinking.

tl;dr: Girlfriend intentionally tried to get her dog to jump on me while wearing a new suit in preparation for an interview. I hit the dog and now she has ceased contact.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

That last one is a doozy:

quote:

After the tests a week or so goes past and the GP finally shares our results. He reveals that the tests show that I am infertile, a verdict that stunned both my wife and I. He listed some alternative routes we could take, but I was simply too shocked to even take it in. I expected some words of consolation from my wife in my moment of weakness, even a hug, anything to lift me from my depression but I was met with only stone cold silence. Once we got home, she finally spoke and told me that she will be sleeping in the guest room for the next couple of days.

tactlessbastard posted:

Wife is already pregnant with Ben's child.

Straight White Shark posted:

I dug up the dog one and it's unexpectedly tricky.

HAT FETISH posted:

This guy posted an update lol

A [20F] friend of mine send me [23M] a text that confuses me. I need some help translating it.

beep boop

Straight White Shark posted:

This isn't even really an issue of poor training, she specifically told the dog "go get him." It infuriates me when people anthropomorphize poor pet behavior but this is another thing altogether.

quote:

My boyfriend is definitely a stoic guy, and since we've moved slower than other relationships I've had, I've been waiting it out and giving him the benefit of the doubt. However, a few nights ago (after way too much sangria), I asked him if he loved me, because I love him. He said he doesn't feel comfortable saying those words, because he doesn't know what they mean. He said he thinks people say "I love you" just to say it, without knowing the precise meaning. He said "Do I love my mom? I guess so, but how do I know if I don't know what love means?" He's never told any other girls he's loved them.

This answer totally caught me off guard because I was expecting him to either say "yes I love you too" or "no I'm not ready to say that". Is this dude just totally emotionally unavailable? Should I not put so much importance on words? At what point does it become ridiculous that 2 people in a relationship don't love each other?

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

That last one is a doozy:

quote:

She said that I had wasted the most fertile years of her life and that knowingly keeping someone in a childless marriage is something she would not wish on her worst enemy

zakharov posted:

I, human female, have not fulfilled my potential as brood mare. This must be rectified.

WoodrowSkillson posted:

She is getting revenge on him for insisting for 2 years that it was her problem and not his.

quote:

I will preface this by saying that I am well-aware that is too late to say anything about it right now, as the ship has already sailed with regards to this upcoming Christmas. But I was wondering if it would be over-stepping to say something for the next holiday season, at some point in the future.
My brother and I are the only two children of my parents [late 50s M&F]. For the past several years, as well as this year, he has been making these tiny sculptures out of metal & clay.
My feeling is that he is an adult now, it's time to give adult gifts that are more useful, fun, or appreciated in some way - not just the same little useless chachkies he's been producing out of sculpey clay since he was 10. They're cute but they're definitely work that you can tell is amateur & identifiably his - not something anyone would confuse for an item purchased from a craft shop.
Some background on us - I have always been the more capable/independent sibling of the two of us. He is very intelligent and funny, but he's the baby of the family. He has ADD and tends to struggle somewhat with appropriate behavior & social cues, among other things. In the past, I have been guilty of holding him to higher standards than he is able to reach on his own.
So although I've been dropping $50-$100 each on gifts for my parents & brother since I was 20, it might be unfair to hold him to that same standard. Money/budget are also not an issue here, he has supplemental income & my parents cover all necessities (food, housing, gas, clothing, etc.) while he is in college.
Partly also I am nervous about his future relationships. He's had a couple brief (1-3 month) relationships in college. None of them have ever overlapped with the holiday season, but I think if he ever gave one of these to a girlfriend as her sole gift from him she would be pretty underwhelmed.
Maybe I'm just being a pushy big sister & completely over-stepping here. I know you should never look a gift horse in the mouth. It's clear he enjoys making & giving the sculptures. & it's not necessarily the homemade-ness that bothers me; I think I wouldn't be so concerned if they were of better quality. I've been feeling like socially, it's about time that he stepped up his gift-giving - but maybe I just need to keep that feeling to myself & let him do his thing?
tl;dr: My brother [21 M] still gives little hand-made sculptures as gifts, & they are starting to seem inappropriately childish. Debating if I should suggest to him that he start purchasing more relevant gifts to supplement his art for future holidays.

quote:

I am getting picked up tomorrow at 6:30am for what is likely to be a 3-4 hour road trip to a site for work. I will be with 2 people, an associate (2nd highest level in office) & my direct supervisor (4/5 tier in office) so I will likely be in the back seat. I am a part-time intern in graduate school. Finals are happening, I'm exhausted & I will be stuck in a car for at least 6 hours total tomorrow.
I'd like to know how unprofessional would it be of me to dose off in the back seat during the drive there/back?

WoodrowSkillson posted:

She is getting revenge on him for insisting for 2 years that it was her problem and not his.

tactlessbastard posted:

Wife is already pregnant with Ben's child.

Pick posted:

Honestly I'm with the dude on this one. Girlfriend was out of line, and though being badly trained isn't the dog's fault, it doesn't make the dog's behavior everyone else's responsibility either.