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WoodrowSkillson posted:let me tell you about the implications of grass on the field I used to work with a musician whose infamous line was "If their feet touch the floor when they're taking a poo poo then it's fair game" I'm mostly sure he was joking, but still... Emphasis firmly on "used to".
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Feb 28, 2017 15:43
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Isn't it time we forced people to undergo certifications before they can become parents because, lets be real here folks, a lot of people are very bad parents... some are the worst... But ZZULU, people are gonna get babies anyway!! What then? What will we do with these parents and illegal babies?? Well I say, we build a really large coffin and fill it with these unwanted criminals. Great idea Zzulu! But what happens when the coffin gets full you ask? You bury it. You bury the coffin... and make a new one.
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Feb 28, 2017 15:44
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darkwasthenight posted:"If their feet touch the floor when they're taking a poo poo then it's fair game" /looks at babby's potty 
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Feb 28, 2017 15:54
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musicians: rapers? the results may surprise you
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Feb 28, 2017 15:59
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actually "musician" sounds like a hot keyword search
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Feb 28, 2017 16:00
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Pick posted:musicians: rapers? the results may surprise you Are you saying rap isn't real music? Wow that's loving racist as heck
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Feb 28, 2017 16:02
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Mirthless posted:hahaha come on dude at least read the whole post he got back with her at all, which is basically the horror movie blonde opening the door those muffled screams are coming from behind
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Feb 28, 2017 16:20
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Sorry Mirthless, I shouldn't have been looking for updates five minutes before I needed to leave for work. I skimmed down from thay paragraph down to where he said he had felt sparks so he's still a moron for going on another date with poor judgment lady. Anyways here's another sad family get-together: I [28F] am upset by my aunt's [33F] recent decisions regarding her daughter's 11th birthday party. u/mamatoone 2y My 11 year-old cousin recently turned 11. My aunt held a party at a pizza place, and it was not great: First, the party package allowed the birthday child and up to 25 other people. 12 of them were family. One was my cousin's best friend. The other 12 were adult friends of my aunt, some of which my cousin has never met. My cousin was visibly annoyed when a few of these people showed up. She said she doesn't like them and didn't know her mom invited them. She said they're rude and loud, and throughout the party I learned that she was right. The party room consisted of two long rows of tables. My aunt sat with her friends on one side of the room, and everyone else sat on the other. My aunt spent most of her time over there instead of with her birthday girl. Those 12 adult friends did not behave in a child-oriented fashion. Rather than celebrating the 11 year-old's birthday, they seemed to be celebrating "11 years of parenthood" for my aunt. They brought several bottles of alcohol and were taking shots. Even the food was not really kid-friendly. The party package came with 6 large pizzas and 6 pitchers of soda. My aunt's and her friends chose all 6 to be "weird" varieties - specialties like Hawaiian BBQ, one with hot sauce and several kinds of peppers, etc. They did not choose a single "kid-friendly" pizza for my cousin or the other kids in the family. Even the adults in the family weren't interested in any of the pizzas they ordered. We called my aunt over and asked her to order some normal pizzas and she said that she could only get 6 with the party package, and couldn't afford to buy any extra on top of it. She said we should have said something before she ordered - but we didn't even know they had ordered until pizzas came out of the kitchen. As for the pitchers of soda, they took 5 of the 6 pitchers for their table. Only one came to ours. 1 pitcher was not enough for 12 people. My grandma went over there to have a chat with my aunt about how this was not really kid-oriented and she wanted my aunt to come to our table and be with her daughter, and she wanted my aunt's friends to stop taking shots in a family restaurant. She was really ashamed of my aunt. Ultimately I ended up ordering 3 more pizzas and soda for our table because no one wanted any of the weird stuff they got. When it came time for cake, we also learned that my aunt chose her favorite kind of cake instead of my cousin's, which just seemed sad and weird. The cake had pineapple in it and my cousin said she has had it before but didn't like it. She ended up only eating a few bites of her own birthday cake. Ultimately I'm sad and disgusted by how everything happened. My aunt did not treat this as a party for her daughter's 11th birthday, but instead as a party for herself and her friends. What should be done about this? I an contemplating throwing a second birthday party for her or something, but I don't know. I also feel like someone needs to talk to my aunt about this, because it's unacceptable. Should that be someone talking to her one-on-one, or several people intervention-style? I would appreciate any advice anyone has. I really want to stand up for my young cousin on this issue. tl;dr: My cousin's 11th birthday party turned into a party for her mom and her mom's trashy friends. How should we address this with my aunt, and should I throw a newer/better birthday party for the birthday girl, or would that just make things worse?
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Feb 28, 2017 16:20
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darkwasthenight posted:"If their feet touch the floor when they're taking a poo poo then it's fair game"
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Feb 28, 2017 16:21
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:he got back with her at all, which is basically the horror movie blonde opening the door those muffled screams are coming from behind granted, pretty scary, but he definitely did not propose to or get married to her ...yet 
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Feb 28, 2017 16:22
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How do you gently caress up a kids birthday party that bad, my god.
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Feb 28, 2017 16:24
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I'm [29F] Struggling with a [24M] "Friend" of Only a Few Months, Who is Possessive, Jealous and Copies meNon-Romantic submitted an hour ago by HappyScribbler Imagine your personality, your words and mannerisms being parroted almost every time you go to speak. I've acquired a mini-me, rival and stalker all in one, I'll call him "Bob". At first some of this sounds a bit silly, but it's now turning into something a bit disturbing, so I'm looking for some advice. Bob started working with me four months ago. Despite making it clear that I'm not interested in anyone in anything more than friendship, Bob has been pushy in asking for details about my personal life, my work and seeks explanations for what I've been doing in even very short times of when I haven't been around him for whatever reason. Bob also copies me. A lot. Watches any movie I mention in passing. Says the same jokes in the same way, even started drawing pictures like I do for fun and copying them, then asking me to critique his (which end up looking nearly identical to mine). He is very serious about my dumb doodles and asks how I make them and turned it into a weird sort of competition. I purposely stopped for now just to get him off my back. He would also tell me what he wanted me to doodle instead and would question why I would be drawing something else (these are just mindless drawings I would do for fun in my free time) He also hates when people say nice things about my drawings and will immediately mention his own afterwards. I always tell him they're great! He inserts himself into conversations I have with others. "I dare us to talk about something else now" is one line he used. He hates when I speak to other co-workers, one male in particular, whom I just happen to have a lot in common with as a friend. I think other people find him a little odd too, and he's said before he has "trust issues". There are a couple of times now, and this is what is beginning to worry me a bit, where he's tried to twist my words, make me look bad or like I'm lying, particularly in front of my other male friend. Very subtle, but obvious to me. I am always kind, I smile, but I do politely correct what he's said then try to ignore him. He will overreact to dumb jokes I make, ruining the joke and just weirdly drawing unnecessary attention to it. If I say something funny, or get some kind of reaction in any ordinary interaction, just having fun...he has to get in on it somehow. He is always there. I stopped drawing, stopped paying attention and talking to him as much and was generally more silent for about a month or so. But as soon as I started having a little fun again, being myself, he's back at it, bothering me. I can't talk to anyone else without him joining in or even asking what I was talking about if he couldn't hear it himself. What's the best way to deal with a person like this? If I could I'd have nothing to do with him at all but I have to work with him and it's more than a little frustrating. Even when you try to ignore him, he is asking for advice, approval or compliments on something! It's childish but disturbing at the same time, and I fear these strange manipulative things he's trying to pull could become worse. He seems suspicious of other people too, but is particularly fixated on me right now. tl;dr: Co-worker with a fixation on me copies my every move, derails my conversations with others, hates when I speak to other men, wants my full attention, and if not attempts to make me look bad in front of others.
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Feb 28, 2017 16:25
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Llab posted:Sorry Mirthless, I shouldn't have been looking for updates five minutes before I needed to leave for work. I skimmed down from thay paragraph down to where he said he had felt sparks so he's still a moron for going on another date with poor judgment lady. 12 adult friends without kids? Is this one of those people who hangs out with 20-somethings exclusively, even when they're in their 30s?
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Feb 28, 2017 16:28
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VanSandman posted:How do you gently caress up a kids birthday party that bad, my god. This is like...textbook narcissism, right? Why would you even go to a Edit: whoops, was picturing a different kind of place, not just a pizza place. Beachcomber fucked around with this message at 16:33 on Feb 28, 2017 |
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Feb 28, 2017 16:29
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Pick posted:I'm [29F] Struggling with a [24M] "Friend" of Only a Few Months, Who is Possessive, Jealous and Copies meNon-Romantic time to go to HR
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Feb 28, 2017 16:30
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Birthday party one is sad as hell, that's like one thing you do not want to gently caress up for your kid 
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Feb 28, 2017 16:33
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Pick posted:actually "musician" sounds like a hot keyword search Honestly they're all going to be the same thing, we're pretty predictable. As the old jokes go, what do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless! What do you call a musician with a credit card? An optimist! Me [21-F] with my boyfriend [20-M] of 1 year. My boyfriend got a tattoo on his back of me completely naked. quote:So I've been seeing this guy for the past year and he's always been eccentric, but that's one of the reasons I fell for him. He's a professional musician, and while he was away on tour(I couldn't go with him because of my own work commitments), when he came back after 2 weeks, he showed me something that scared the crap out of me. Sure enough, it was me. With my legs spread with everything on show. Permanently on his back. Forever. I [20F] don't want to take my boyfriend [24M] to my sorority events because they're all super hot and he has a history of masturbating (?) to hot new acquaintances Facebook profiles quote:I [20F] am a member of a sorority with extremely good looking girls. Many of them are models and/or instagram famous, and sleep with professional athletes and famous musicians. Unlike most of my sisters, I am a 6/10, maybe 7 if I'm being generous. I'm not even sure why my sorority wanted me, as a lot of sororities choose people based heavily on looks (yes, it's true), especially at schools where Greek life is a big deal. As a side note, I love my sisters and don't resent them for being beautiful. They are not just good-looking, most of them are also nice, smart, and fun. This next one is pretty boring but has the most Musician title ever. quote:Any musicians with suggestions for a couple living with a large amp?
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Feb 28, 2017 16:34
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darkwasthenight posted:Honestly they're all going to be the same thing, we're pretty predictable. As the old jokes go, what do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless! What do you call a musician with a credit card? An optimist! I think this would be cute if they hadn't been dating for only a year quote:I [20F] don't want to take my boyfriend [24M] to my sorority events because they're all super hot and he has a history of masturbating (?) to hot new acquaintances Facebook profiles i think a better solution to this problem would be to just dump your gross boyfriend he's probably gonna cheat on you with one of those girls if he isn't already
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Feb 28, 2017 16:39
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Bubblyblubber posted:Dating anyone of any age is gross, all those fluids and smells yuk! Not with a 17 year old in quite a lot of states, though. California isn't the entire US.
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Feb 28, 2017 16:41
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darkwasthenight posted:Honestly they're all going to be the same thing, we're pretty predictable. As the old jokes go, what do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless! What do you call a musician with a credit card? An optimist!
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Feb 28, 2017 16:41
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feedmegin posted:Not with a 17 year old in quite a lot of states, though. California isn't the entire US. "It's technically legal" shouldn't be a qualifier you have to add to a sexual encounter
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Feb 28, 2017 16:43
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Mirthless posted:I think this would be cute if they hadn't been dating for only a year "I don't think it would be cute at any point tbh" and then "no, pretty sure the problem is your gross boyfriend wanking to your mates, not you" respectively.
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Feb 28, 2017 16:48
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Mirthless posted:i think a better solution to this problem would be to just dump your gross boyfriend
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Feb 28, 2017 16:49
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Mirthless posted:"It's technically legal" shouldn't be a qualifier you have to add to a sexual encounter Can we please not have a five page derail over whether or not it is gross for an 18 year old to have sex with a 17 year old? Please? Just this loving once?
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Feb 28, 2017 16:51
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Mirthless posted:I think this would be cute if they hadn't been dating for only a year A tattoo of your girlfriend's snatch?? without asking????
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Feb 28, 2017 16:52
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Everyone's seen the bit in Transformers 4 where the rear end in a top hat does the whole 'Romeo-And-Juliet' law thing and agrees it means somebody involved in the Transformers films is a huge pedo? Maybe a screenwriter, maybe a director?
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Feb 28, 2017 16:53
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Pick posted:A tattoo of your girlfriend's snatch?? without asking????
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Feb 28, 2017 16:54
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Mirthless posted:I think this would be cute if they hadn't been dating for only a year
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Feb 28, 2017 16:58
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Mirthlessed Again
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Feb 28, 2017 16:59
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Tater Love 
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fruit on the bottom posted:Can we please not have a five page derail over whether or not it is gross for an 18 year old to have sex with a 17 year old? Please? Just this loving once? i'm pretty sure they're talking about the story where the 29-year old wants to gently caress her teenage neighbor's teenager friends
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Feb 28, 2017 17:00
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If I ever have sex, I will have sex with someone who is the same age as me.
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Feb 28, 2017 17:04
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gentle pete posted:If I ever have sex, I will have sex with someone who is the same age as me. your twin!? that's hosed up
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Feb 28, 2017 17:06
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DACK FAYDEN posted:Let's not assume too much about the romantic competence of this guy. I don't think he'd be able to cheat on her with those ladies if he tried. he's in a frat, he has a girlfriend in a sorority, he is probably well equipped to get laid on campus darkwasthenight posted:"no, pretty sure the problem is your gross boyfriend wanking to your mates, not you" respectively. yep 
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Feb 28, 2017 17:06
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the real problem is that she's been violating his privacy and snooping through his browser history
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Feb 28, 2017 17:09
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Do not get a tattoo of your naked girlfriend showing off her flesh flower ever
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Feb 28, 2017 17:11
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Me [20 M] has a father [47 M] that is jealous of my girlfriend [18 F] and is spiraling into a suicidal depressionRelationships submitted a minute ago by webzombie1337 As a bit of a backstory, my father has only married once, my parents divorced when I was 6 and my father and I have lived together ever since and he hasn't even dated once since it happened so he has been alone for years (I am 20 now) and our family is very small so I am really the only one he has around (I can't get him to date yet.. he's afraid of getting hurt again). I didn't ever date in high school. I really only started having serious relationships in college, but I have been with my current girlfriend for two months and my dad has been an emotional wreck ever since. I still live at home, and he is used to me being around the house on the weekends when I was single, but ever since I got a girl now I spend most of my weekend with her away from the house. My father is bipolar and whenever I am out with my girl he sends me long texts about how lonely he is and guilt tripping me for "choosing her over him". He constantly talks about how his weekends are poo poo now and a waste of time and now he has already started talking about suicide. I even take the time to be out in the living room just me him and my girl so he can get comfortable with her, and even take him out with us when we got out to eat sometimes so he gets used to her and no matter all the reassuring I try to do it doesn't help. This is very emotionally abusive and I am almost at my breaking point. He doesn't take his mental health medicine anymore and he hasn't for years, and although I wish I could I doubt I could get him to see a psych. I don't know what to do anymore.
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Feb 28, 2017 17:11
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Pick posted:Me [20 M] has a father [47 M] that is jealous of my girlfriend [18 F] and is spiraling into a suicidal depressionRelationships what in the world?  move out seriously, this is terrifying
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Feb 28, 2017 17:15
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Me [21-F] with my boyfriend [20-M] of 1 year. My boyfriend got a tattoo on his back of me completely naked. With the ambiguous wording and lack of any clarifying punctuation in this title, I can only assume that the issue is the boyfriend was completely naked while being tattooed.
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Feb 28, 2017 17:16
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quote:My boyfriend of 2 years [24 M] tells me his kinks, and I [22 F] get uncomfortable.
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Feb 28, 2017 17:17
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Pick posted:A tattoo of your girlfriend's snatch?? without asking???? yeah, I guess after getting on somebody for skimming, I'm guilty of skimming too I missed the part where she was spread eagle and I just assumed it was a pin-up style shot. Definitely gross. Sorry everybody. c'mon lady you can't tell us you have a problem with his kinks and then refuse to tell us what they are  anime is involved and it's "too obvious" so pedo poo poo and asians I'm guessing? Mirthless fucked around with this message at 17:20 on Feb 28, 2017 |
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Feb 28, 2017 17:17
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