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couples therapist: hm, well why don't you try to say one thing aloud that you like about the other? me: I...uh, hm, well I guess the cilantro. It's an unexpected kick but really makes the whole dish complex. I would never think I could find a sandwich refreshing couples therapist: excellent! *turns to my banh mi wife* and what about you my banh mi wife: ... my banh mi wife: ... my banh mi wife: ... me: well gently caress here we go again, typical. |
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Mar 1, 2017 00:53
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social vegan posted:couples therapist: hm, well why don't you try to say one thing aloud that you like about the other? |
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Mar 1, 2017 01:00
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social vegan posted:couples therapist: hm, well why don't you try to say one thing aloud that you like about the other? lol |
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Mar 1, 2017 01:07
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social vegan posted:couples therapist: hm, well why don't you try to say one thing aloud that you like about the other?
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Mar 1, 2017 01:43
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Disco Godfather was taken into police custody today on suspicion of having eaten his wife of 20 years. |
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Mar 1, 2017 02:37
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social vegan posted:couples therapist: hm, well why don't you try to say one thing aloud that you like about the other? Disco Godfather posted:Disco Godfather was taken into police custody today on suspicion of having eaten his wife of 20 years. |
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Mar 1, 2017 03:01
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*kisses wife and gets out of car to go to work* "thanks for the ride honey, remember to pick me up at 5pm!"  *strolls into the office as the car coasts into telephone pole behind me*
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Mar 1, 2017 03:39
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Luvcow posted:*kisses wife and gets out of car to go to work* |
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Mar 1, 2017 07:00
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this thread is getting...spicy 
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Mar 1, 2017 07:01
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I've been on the phone with the ACLU for the last four days, just trying to get some information. 20 years and she gets sent back to Vietnam. 20 years! |
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Mar 1, 2017 12:36
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To be honest i would be surprised
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Mar 1, 2017 13:00
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it's very hurtful to meet other parents and they ask if my wife is a mail order bride. how insensitive can you get? she's a local just like me. i ordered her at that asian fusion place downtown. |
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Mar 1, 2017 14:12
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me: *longingly looks thru kfc windows at the double down poster, i remember when i used to be something* banh mi wife: *after FINALLY getting out of la senza* .... me: don't even, don't even put me in this position irene don't not here not in public banh mi wife of 20 years: ... me: okay I get it hey hey everyone hey everyone look at me a terrible husband hey look at me banh mi wife of 20 years: ... me: yes i also think an orange julius would calm me down and i am sorry |
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Mar 1, 2017 14:19
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Luvcow posted:*kisses wife and gets out of car to go to work* lol |
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Mar 1, 2017 14:52
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therapist: is banh mi the only woman in your life me: no *cries shittily* i'm seeing fries on the side
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Mar 1, 2017 16:43
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FutonForensic posted:therapist: is banh mi the only woman in your life |
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Mar 1, 2017 16:50
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Horrifying human/sandwich hybrid: Kill...me... Me: Aww, his first words! Banh mi wife: (looks on adoringly) |
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Mar 1, 2017 16:56
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me: sweetie I know that when we met you were in a styrofoam container. and I've always loved that about you, you were always so . . . real . . . compared to the other girls on their pretentious chinet plates or whatnot. but look babe, it's our 20th, and you deserve something nice. the traditional 20th anniversary present is china, so I got you something special, an antique porcelain plate with chili peppers in the pattern, peppers that symbolize the heat of your chili sauce and the spiciness of our union together. it's not that I think anything about you is lacking, you look beautiful in everything, but I wanted to do this for you. I hope you like it. banh mi sandwich: *silent but reproachful* me: I know, I know. they only had jalapeno, I couldn't find any with bird's eye chilies. I didn't mean to disrespect your heritage, I swear. |
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Mar 1, 2017 17:12
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FutonForensic posted:therapist: is banh mi the only woman in your life lol |
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Mar 1, 2017 17:12
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This sort of stuff is why I'm cilantrobate. (it's like celibate but ALSO I don't eat cilantro.)
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Mar 1, 2017 19:35
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To be perfectly honest, 20 years in, that banh mi sandwich would be full of cum.
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Mar 1, 2017 21:36
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All I dreamed of was two or three banh mi babies, but the fertility doctors just couldn't help us.
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Mar 1, 2017 21:37
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angry teenage son: "i wish i was adopted!" banh mi sandwich: ...... me: "well your mom doesn't have the heart to say it son but I think you need to sit down to hear this..."
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Mar 1, 2017 21:58
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after 20 years, sandwich wife has really let herself go
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Mar 1, 2017 22:06
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I still love her, mold and all |
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Mar 1, 2017 23:30
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my banh mi child: I think I'm going to break up with Jake, our relationship has grown stale me: *clasps hands around banh mi wife of 20 years' ears and gasps* you know we do not use the "s" word in this household miss *moves hands* and heck you look younger than the day I met you, my love banh mi wife of 20 years: ... |
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Mar 2, 2017 00:19
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acquaintance: so youve bad a banh mi wife for 20 years... how is she not moldy yet? me: *winks and grins* lets just say that im a bit of a wild one in bed |
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Mar 2, 2017 00:26
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dammit now I want a banh mi I think I will have one tonight I will try not to marry her |
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Mar 2, 2017 00:26
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Man on the street: You're very lucky to have a banh mi wife. Me: I've had her for 20 years, long before banh mi was hip. Man on the street: My wife is Dippin Dots. ---------------- |
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Mar 2, 2017 00:36
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Mar 2, 2017 00:42
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Mar 2, 2017 00:48
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I gave my banh mi wife a china plate for our 20th anniversary.
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Mar 2, 2017 00:50
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Well it was back in 2008. I was at Saigon Deli, you know, up the block. I saw her picture at the bottom corner of the menu board as soon as I walked in, and instantly the world melted away around me. Her doughy curves, barely containing the sexy orange and green flourishes threatening to spill out of her, it was all I could do to keep my knees from buckling underneath me. She deserved to be worshiped and my body was instinctively driven to genuflect in devotion. A lifetime of false starts with lesser sandwiches had culminated to this moment, this fulcrum of my fate, and my hand rose to meet it's destiny. Or at least to point to it and mumble out the words "I.. I'll.. I'll have that." She was brought to me on a tray of inferior red plastic, belying the majesty of the Goddess that was reclining on it. I was spellbound, and suddenly I was also terrified. What now? What do I do now? I never expected my wildest dream be handed to me for $7.35, what is my next move?! Reality started to set in, the world around me once again materializing into view. Then, as if from a sign from heaven, the words flowed from the overhead speakers in an angelic chorus, and I was given my answer: "If you like it then you should have put a ring on it". |
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Mar 2, 2017 00:58
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First time I've seen someone post a bahn mi in BYOB |
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Mar 2, 2017 01:35
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Lizard Wizard posted:First time I've seen someone post a bahn mi in BYOB Big things are afoot! Sounds a lot like a "Ban Me!". Maybe just a probation? Anyways, thanks for your recent help, Lizard Wizard. I couldn't have done it without you (probably)! ---------------- |
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Mar 2, 2017 02:37
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im sorry hon i had a side pho coming back from my business trip |
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Mar 2, 2017 02:49
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cda posted:Man on the street: You're very lucky to have a banh mi wife. |
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Mar 2, 2017 13:03
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*yells into phone at my mom* YOU JUST DON'T GET HER, YOU'RE STILL THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BANH |
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Mar 2, 2017 13:06
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Mar 2, 2017 14:25
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Manifisto posted:dammit now I want a banh mi update: I did not marry the banh mi, but we did have a bit of a fling |
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Mar 2, 2017 14:25
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