The BYOB Fine Dining Effortpost Funhouse

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poverty goat

ladybeard mcflurry posted:

that looks loving spectacular. dried, pre-soaked blueberries (or fresh, but the moisture will affect your hydration, you know that tho) would be great with cacao nibs. i should try the orange zest method and probably sneak a tiny bit of juice into the hydration (1-3% max) just to see how it affects the crust as well with the sugars. beautiful breading, poverty goat!

i'm roasting some peanuts right now for another peanut-and-bean pie. it tastes like a peanut butter pie but it's slightly healthier and plus it's an excuse to make a bean pie.

i had the same thought from the outset almost bought 4lb of dried blueberries from amazon when i bought the nibs, but i was thwarted by prime pantry

also here is a good dog:
https://twitter.com/6rande/status/827870532242661376

# ? Feb 6, 2017 20:04

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 16:54

Robot Made of Meat

poverty goat posted:

also here is a good dog:
https://twitter.com/6rande/status/827870532242661376

Dr*t good dog!

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Feb 6, 2017 21:57

Tiberius Thyben: Gone Phishing

Hey. Been waffling on it off and on, but, anyone want an effortpost on and recipe for Cree bannock?

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:54

POOL IS CLOSED: I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.

yes?!

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# ? Feb 8, 2017 05:43

poverty goat

# ? Feb 8, 2017 05:43

joke_explainer

Tiberius Thyben posted:

Hey. Been waffling on it off and on, but, anyone want an effortpost on and recipe for Cree bannock?

Yes. This is precisely what we need!

# ? Feb 8, 2017 12:14

Robot Made of Meat

Tiberius Thyben posted:

Hey. Been waffling on it off and on, but, anyone want an effortpost on and recipe for Cree bannock?

If you do, then I can find out what Cree bannock is.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Feb 8, 2017 16:31

FutonForensic

i made your sauce manifisto.

passed my taste test but i still gotta put it on a pie. i'm stoked

# ? Feb 8, 2017 16:34

POOL IS CLOSED: I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.

trying out a different sourdough recipe. already hecked it up by leaving the dough on the counter overnight instead of in the fridge

brought 2 u by Manifisto, mastercraftsposter of sigs

# ? Feb 8, 2017 16:36

Manifisto

FutonForensic posted:

i made your sauce manifisto.

passed my taste test but i still gotta put it on a pie. i'm stoked

cool!

want a pizza dough recipe? I ain't claiming it's all that but I like it, and so do the people I've made it for.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 16:45

FutonForensic

gimme

# ? Feb 8, 2017 17:02

Manifisto

New York Style Pizza Dough

This recipe makes two 12� to 13� pizzas.

Ingredients for Dough

� 393g flour (=13.9 oz) (King Arthur Bread Flour preferred)
� 248g water (=8.8 oz) (water should be slightly above room temperature)
� � tsp Instant Dry Yeast (IDY) (but plain ol' baking yeast works just fine in my experience)
� 1.5 tsp salt (Morton�s Kosher or sea salt � use only 1 tsp if using table salt)
� 1 Tbsp olive oil (or less, I sometimes use a scant Tablespoon or 2 tsp)

Directions

Ideally, let flour come to room temperature before mixing. Measure flour by weight and optionally sift after measuring.

1. Using a whisk, blend sifted flour and instant dry yeast in a bowl.
2. Place water in a separate large bowl, add salt, and stir to dissolve salt.
3. Add flour mixture to water and stir until just mixed.
4. Add olive oil and mix thoroughly.
5. Knead dough by hand until smooth and elastic, about 8-10 minutes. If dough is very sticky, add a small amount of additional bread flour during kneading. They say it should be the texture of an earlobe, which is a little creepy but a useful gauge.
6. Divide dough into two equal halves. Knead each half lightly and form into a ball.
7. Lightly oil two containers for dough. Place one ball into each container and turn to coat ball with oil. Cover containers (e.g. with plastic wrap) and refrigerate for 1-2 days. (Dough can be used up to day 3 or 4. To keep dough longer, freeze after refrigerating 1-2 days.).
8. 2-3 hours before baking pizza, take desired number of dough balls out of refrigerator and let sit covered at room temperature. (Note that dough balls will continue to rise during this period.)
9. One hour before baking pizza, place pizza stone on lowest rack of cold oven and preheat at 550 degrees for one hour.

Tips for Assembling Pizzas

� Stretch each dough ball to 12� - 13� round, then place on baking parchment for easy handling. Dough should be handled gently while stretching. Do not pinch the outer �� of crust.
� Brush or spray the top of each pizza round lightly with olive oil to prevent fillings from soaking into dough.
� Top dough lightly with desired sauce and toppings. Vegetable toppings (e.g. broccoli) should be cooked or par-cooked before baking pizza.
� Use a pizza peel or baking sheet to slide topped pizza (and parchment) onto preheated stone.
� Bake pizzas at 550 degrees for 7-9 minutes (or desired degree of doneness).
� Let pizza cool on wire rack for a few minutes before cutting. The wire rack will prevent the crust from going soggy.
� If desired, sprinkle sliced or torn fresh basil on pizza after it comes out of the oven.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 8, 2017 17:13

FutonForensic

oh that's perfect, I already have some KA bread flour on hand. I'll give it a shot this weekend

# ? Feb 8, 2017 17:50

POOL IS CLOSED: I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.

gonna make some zza!!!

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# ? Feb 8, 2017 18:04

Tiberius Thyben: Gone Phishing

Fair enough! Bannock is a type of quick bread. The term bannock itself is a loan word from the the Scots, who made a similar type of bread. Most recipes are made with flour, water, lard, baking powder, and optionally eggs, powdered or fresh milk, currants, and anything else on hand. Some recipes are fried, some deep fried, others baked, and others still done over a fire.

While breads made from corn and such were made long before contact, Indian bannocks, made from wheat flour, only really started to spread among North American aboriginal peoples (including First Nations) after about 1870. In Canada, the Treaties among many other things promised food in times of shortage, and First Nations were considered wards of the state after the Indian Act in 1867. However, the government naturally did the absolute bare minimum it could in fulfilling any obligations. Somewhat famously, Prime Minister John A MacDonald responded to accusations by the Liberal Party that he was overspending on Indians that food was refused "until the Indians were on the verge of starvation, to reduce the expense." Food and the threat of starvation were a key tool for keeping us in line after we were shunted off to the most marginal land. When the government did provide the promised food, it was whatever was absolutely cheapest, among them flour and lard. So, we made Bannock, and we got really good at making bannock.

This recipe is one I got from my kokum. It results in a pretty large about of bannock, as she would usually make a whole bunch, and give some of it to anyone who came by, so feel free to halve or quarter if anyone gives it a shot.

8c flour
6 tbs lard
1 tsp salt
4 tbs baking powder
1 litre water (or milk)
Eggs, if desired.

- Pre-heat oven to 400 F
- Place all dry ingredients in a bowl and mix
- Melt the lard in saucepan until liquid
- Make hole in middle of dry ingredients to poor liquids into.
- Pour water and lard into hole, and mix with a spoon into a batter.
- Remove from bowl onto floured surface. Knead and add flour until dry.
- Place onto baking sheet and press down to just over � inch thickness.
- Bake until pale brown.

I forgot to take photos when I made it last, but here's one from a friend who gave it a shot, but with duck fat instead of lard.

Tiberius Thyben fucked around with this message at 00:13 on Feb 9, 2017

# ? Feb 9, 2017 00:08

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

we have a similar recipe in the mvskoke creek tradition that my dad's dad used to make. it was literally:

"enough flour to make a paste with a thumb of lard or solid fat, then work in water with your hands. add in more flour and baking powder until it looks right, and fry in hot lard or bake in a cast skillet until it's tanned like me."

i miss my grandpa. i'm gonna make myself some bannock tonight. thanks, friend. :love:

# ? Feb 9, 2017 00:13

POOL IS CLOSED: I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.

whoa, replace the flour with corn meal and that's the pool family matriarch's corn bread. cool, i will definitely give this a shot. thanks for the history behind it!

brought 2 u by Manifisto, mastercraftsposter of sigs

# ? Feb 9, 2017 01:00

Robot Made of Meat

Tiberius Thyben posted:

Fair enough! Bannock is a type of quick bread. The term bannock itself is a loan word from the the Scots, who made a similar type of bread. Most recipes are made with flour, water, lard, baking powder, and optionally eggs, powdered or fresh milk, currants, and anything else on hand. Some recipes are fried, some deep fried, others baked, and others still done over a fire.

While breads made from corn and such were made long before contact, Indian bannocks, made from wheat flour, only really started to spread among North American aboriginal peoples (including First Nations) after about 1870. In Canada, the Treaties among many other things promised food in times of shortage, and First Nations were considered wards of the state after the Indian Act in 1867. However, the government naturally did the absolute bare minimum it could in fulfilling any obligations. Somewhat famously, Prime Minister John A MacDonald responded to accusations by the Liberal Party that he was overspending on Indians that food was refused "until the Indians were on the verge of starvation, to reduce the expense." Food and the threat of starvation were a key tool for keeping us in line after we were shunted off to the most marginal land. When the government did provide the promised food, it was whatever was absolutely cheapest, among them flour and lard. So, we made Bannock, and we got really good at making bannock.

This recipe is one I got from my kokum. It results in a pretty large about of bannock, as she would usually make a whole bunch, and give some of it to anyone who came by, so feel free to halve or quarter if anyone gives it a shot.

8c flour
6 tbs lard
1 tsp salt
4 tbs baking powder
1 litre water (or milk)
Eggs, if desired.

- Pre-heat oven to 400 F
- Place all dry ingredients in a bowl and mix
- Melt the lard in saucepan until liquid
- Make hole in middle of dry ingredients to poor liquids into.
- Pour water and lard into hole, and mix with a spoon into a batter.
- Remove from bowl onto floured surface. Knead and add flour until dry.
- Place onto baking sheet and press down to just over � inch thickness.
- Bake until pale brown.

I forgot to take photos when I made it last, but here's one from a friend who gave it a shot, but with duck fat instead of lard.

Thanks for posting this!

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Feb 9, 2017 01:28

poverty goat

i did the thing w/ the blueberries and cacao nibs and also some spelt flour and it turned out pretty good

The only grocery store that used to sell spelt flour here stopped selling spelt flour and i was really bummed so i bought a 25lb bag of it from amazon prime. it wasn't cheap but im pretty sure i got a good deal on making ups ship it to me 2day

# ? Feb 18, 2017 16:20

the littlest prince

I was on a cooking kick this weekend.

Started off with semi-churros yesterday. Heated up some water, oil, and sugar in a pan, then added flour. Tried to squeeze it through a piping tip but the dough was too thick so I just made churro fingers instead. Pretty good and I may make a few more with the leftover dough tonight.

Tried making some lebanese flatbread today, the yeast was barely bubbling so I think it was old/dead so I just poured in the whole packet. Rolled it out in thirds, coated with a bit of olive oil, and tossed into a pan on high heat. Turned out really well! I think it may have been closer to naan? I dunno.

After the flatbread, made some simple egg salad for lunches this week. Came out very creamy (too much mayo? nah) and flavorful. I think I used more paprika this time than usual. A+

And tonight I'm going to make more deep fried chicken thighs. I've been making these for a few weeks now, and yet I am losing weight. The miracle of deep fried foods!

# ? Feb 20, 2017 00:52

POOL IS CLOSED: I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.

decided to share this old cake recipe since i can't stop thinkin bout cake

it's from mimi sheraton's the german cookbook

blitzkuchen is a quick, slightly dry cake to be eaten with coffee or tea. it's not a super sweet cake and it's not iced or frosted. the baking powder used to leaven it contributes to the dryness. all measurements are in american imperial units, sorry

gonna need an 8 inch square pan or a 9 inch round pan, greased and floured orrrrrr with bottom and sides lined with parchment paper

preheat your oven to 375 F with a rack in the middle

topping
1/4 c sugar, 1/3 c flour, 1/2 c chopped nuts of your choice, 1.5 tsp ground cinnamon, 1.5 Tbsp melted butter

mix dry ingredients first, then add melted butter and mix into the dry ingredients with your fings until you get sandy crumbles. if the mix is too dry you can add some more butter. then set it aside.

cake
2 c sifted flour -- that is, soft the flour into your measuring cup and don't compact it at all
1/2 c sugar, 2 tsp baking powder, pinch of salt, 1/3 c butter, 2 eggs, 1/2 c milk, 1 tsp vanilla extract

combine all dry ingredients and sift them together into a mixing bowl. cut butter into small pieces and add to the sifted dry ingredients. work it in with your fings, use a pastry cutter, or even a food processor to work the mixture to a coarse cornmeal like consistency.

beat eggs, milk, and vanilla extract together. make a well in the middle of the dry ingredients and pour the liquid in. stir together gradually just to moisten the dry mix but not to make a smooth liquid batter.

scrape this into your prepared cake pan smooth the surface with a wet spatula so the batter is evenly spread in the pan. might need to give it a jiggle to help it out. then top evenly with the crumbs from above.

bake 25 minutes or until a toothpick stabbed into the cake comes out clean. good warm or cool!

brought 2 u by Manifisto, mastercraftsposter of sigs

# ? Feb 21, 2017 03:44

treasure bear

today i made fish pie

bechamel sauce with chopped spring onions and chives, petit pois, a little dijon mustard, a little cheddar, a little pepper

mix of salmon, haddock and pollock chunks go in

make mash potato with a bit of butter and milk + pepper + salt

30 minutes in the oven

could have done with going in with a hotter temperature or a fan oven, i have a gas oven and it cooks wet

# ? Feb 21, 2017 21:59

Subjunctive: ✨sparkle and shine✨

treasure bear posted:

could have done with going in with a hotter temperature or a fan oven, i have a gas oven and it cooks wet

looks damned tasty

q: how does one decide whether to use convection or non when baking? I just always use convection, but not for any reason

# ? Feb 21, 2017 23:39

POOL IS CLOSED: I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.

most of the time, using convection mode is a good idea. but with delicate goods that rise based on moisture, the combination of the blowing fan and drier conditions is detrimental. stuff like bread and flan should be baked conventionally. anything you bake with a Bain Marie should too.

brought 2 u by Manifisto, mastercraftsposter of sigs

# ? Feb 22, 2017 01:12

MrWillsauce

# ? Feb 28, 2017 00:31

poverty goat

here come the batards

# ? Feb 28, 2017 05:59

FutonForensic

I accidentally made a Cheddar Bay Loaf. I used this beer bread recipe but dumped some shredded Parmesan in the batter (didn't actually have Cheddar), then sprinkled the top with more Parmesan and seasoned salt before putting in the oven.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 15:24

Manifisto

poverty goat posted:

here come the batards

those loaves look pro as gently caress, good job!

FutonForensic posted:

I accidentally made a Cheddar Bay Loaf. I used this beer bread recipe but dumped some shredded Parmesan in the batter (didn't actually have Cheddar), then sprinkled the top with more Parmesan and seasoned salt before putting in the oven.

why is this not currently in my mouth

# ? Feb 28, 2017 15:45

FutonForensic

Manifisto posted:

why is this not currently in my mouth

it was very good. Goes very well with herb butter or a drizzle of honey (though any bread goes better with those).

sorry for the pic being out of focus but I was shaking too much from what I had wrought

edit: oh also the recipe calls for self-rising, but i substituted it with regular flour and (I think) 3 tsp. of baking powder

FutonForensic fucked around with this message at 17:27 on Feb 28, 2017

# ? Feb 28, 2017 16:41

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

FutonForensic posted:

it was very good. Goes very well with herb butter or a drizzle of honey (though any bread goes better with those).

sorry for the pic being out of focus but I was shaking too much from what I had wrought

can someone photoshop the alien bursting out of this?

# ? Feb 28, 2017 17:24

FutonForensic

I know you wanted a touching Bill Paxton tribute, but I got too unchill looking at pictures of the chestburster (also, I couldn't get a screenshot with a good angle)

please enjoy this family-friendly, BYOB-safe version that doesn't really satisfy anyone

# ? Mar 1, 2017 21:26

poverty goat

blueberries and cardamom :pcgaming:

# ? Mar 1, 2017 21:28

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

FutonForensic posted:

I know you wanted a touching Bill Paxton tribute, but I got too unchill looking at pictures of the chestburster (also, I couldn't get a screenshot with a good angle)

please enjoy this family-friendly, BYOB-safe version that doesn't really satisfy anyone

this is somehow even better

:love:

# ? Mar 1, 2017 21:55