TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

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Pancakes: May 21, 2001; Crypto-Rump Roast

Important question for the thread: How many 6-hour pro bono legal shifts at the airport do I need to do per week helping refugees before I can smugly say I'm not part of the problem?

Ed: Assuming I don't quit my 60-65 hours/week day job. (Balls).

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:52

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 00:37

Fuck You And Diebold: Sep 15, 2004; by Athanatos

quadrophrenic posted:

uh, source yr jokes buddy

https://twitter.com/rachie_claire/status/825517370177417216

Oh I got it off of facebook.com

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:52

jBrereton: May 30, 2013; Grimey Drawer

Zyla posted:

https://twitter.com/mikd33/status/838017078632280065

he has quite a treasure there in that horadric cube

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:53

Elder Postsman: Aug 30, 2000; i used hot bot to search for "teens"

gently caress You And Diebold posted:

NC update
https://twitter.com/AP/status/838064258315403265

lol. every election where republicans win: "elections have consequences, we're in charge now, suck it up libs"

every election dems win: "we're still in charge, gently caress you, suck it up libs"

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:53

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

Alcoholism is nothing to take lightly. Take care of yourselves, all.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:53

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Pancakes posted:

Important question for the thread: How many 6-hour pro bono legal shifts at the airport do I need to do per week helping refugees before I can smugly say I'm not part of the problem?

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:53

Elder Postsman: Aug 30, 2000; i used hot bot to search for "teens"

quadrophrenic posted:

https://twitter.com/justinhendrix/status/838010340579426304

this is a p long tweet thread and worth a read, but here's the thesis:

https://twitter.com/justinhendrix/status/838019469066776576

my favorite part is that by tweeting about it he may have de-classified it. lmao.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:53

logikv9: Mar 5, 2009; Ham Wrangler

Reminder that Donald J. Trump can take everything away, except dogs. Dogs will win.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3812290 Vote Now To Make C-SPAM Greater

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:54

The Brown Menace: Dec 24, 2010; Now comes in all colors.

Lastgirl posted:

were drunks who gives a poo poo

its all the same

wake up, see your glorious leader have a meltdown and contemplate how ephemeral your life is, then forget about it as you take your regulation whiskey shots with your breakfast and then shower with a cold beer in hand and then sit out on the porch with a vape and scotch in a glass, pass out for a few hours and forget what day it is, then go online and laugh at people who think they'll stop the missiles with their ARs and hands and yinlocking without a liscence. Then you play a few rounds of whatever game u want, watch netflix, listen to some music and then drift back to sleep where its the closest feeling you'll get to death for a brief moment as you lay supine, suspended in the blackness of the universe where time no longer exists because it is not part of this reality in this construct of your mind as you perceive it.

You may be a decade old, centuries old, h*ck even eons old, there is no longer any type of objective relativity as you are eventually shattered into the swirling heat of our dying star. The universe beckons and your temporary body returns to dust, perhaps your atoms scattered across countless galaxies to be reformed on another alien planet that can maintain life and you will have a couple million years to evolve, form your own alien alcohol and alien weed, alien languages, and alien internet where we have an alien democracy and are forced to watch our pissbaby manchild alien president have a meltdown on alien twitter and then you wonder if it was all worth it, you then shrug it off and embrace your ephemerality once again.

and this fucko here is telling us about the wrong calendar day

jest drink~

Ma'am you want normal or curly fries

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:54

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

gently caress You And Diebold posted:

NC update
https://twitter.com/AP/status/838064258315403265

This is insane.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:54

Pomp: Apr 3, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Elder Postsman posted:

lol. every election where republicans win: "elections have consequences, we're in charge now, suck it up libs"

every election dems win: "we're still in charge, gently caress you, suck it up libs"

*libs suck it up regardless*

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:54

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

The Brown Menace posted:

Ma'am you want normal or curly fries

do you have waffle fries?

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:54

bean mom: Jan 30, 2009

Pancakes posted:

Important question for the thread: How many 6-hour pro bono legal shifts at the airport do I need to do per week helping refugees before I can smugly say I'm not part of the problem?

Ed: Assuming I don't quit my 60-65 hours/week day job. (Balls).

that law degree will ensure you're always problematic, friend

sorry

I have one too, and theres no escape from this seared flesh brand

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:54

Elder Postsman: Aug 30, 2000; i used hot bot to search for "teens"

Pomp posted:

*libs suck it up regardless*

yeah p much

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:55

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

I'm thinking about going to get some breakfast by myself at a place I like cause it's just me this weekend

Have some coffee, read some fake news

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:55

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Trash Trick posted:

This is insane.

It's actually not. They fought a huge series of battles in the 70's to change the constitution to be able to do this in the case that this happened.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:56

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Schnorkles posted:

poo poo gonna get real when donald trumps 40% floor/cieling [they appear to be the same thing right now] wavers after the GOP has a major legislative failure with either the ACA or the budget

aw honey dont do this

you know better than to think any legislation will happen at all

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:56

UFOTacoMan: Sep 22, 2005; Thanks easter bunny!
bok bok!

Trash Trick posted:

Alcoholism is nothing to take lightly. Take care of yourselves, all.

~~HEY WHO ASKED YOU I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW!~~

You make a good point and that is good advice.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:56

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Squizzle posted:

aw honey dont do this

you know better than to think any legislation will happen at all

i think they're gonna try with the ACA. how down in flames it goes is anyones guess.

the budget will get quietly strangled and replaced with a CR

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:57

Agrajag: Jan 21, 2006; gat dang thats hot

Pancakes posted:

Important question for the thread: How many 6-hour pro bono legal shifts at the airport do I need to do per week helping refugees before I can smugly say I'm not part of the problem?

Ed: Assuming I don't quit my 60-65 hours/week day job. (Balls).

did you vote orange fascist?

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:57

magiccarpet: Jan 3, 2005

Squizzle posted:

aw honey dont do this

you know better than to think any legislation will happen at all

will anyone fall for the 2020 campaign promise to repeal and replace obamacare

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:57

The Brown Menace: Dec 24, 2010; Now comes in all colors.

Lastgirl posted:

do you have waffle fries?

Sadly we stopped selling those when God was conclusively proven to loathe us all. But we got chilli cheese fries

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:57

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

Pancakes posted:

Important question for the thread: How many 6-hour pro bono legal shifts at the airport do I need to do per week helping refugees before I can smugly say I'm not part of the problem?

Ed: Assuming I don't quit my 60-65 hours/week day job. (Balls).

how to not be part of the problem:

1) don't vote cheeto hitler
2) don't be a nazi

that's basically it

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:58

Boner Zone: Jan 14, 2006; by Nyc_Tattoo

Trash Trick posted:

Alcoholism is nothing to take lightly. Take care of yourselves, all.

this is why you drink heavy beers

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:58

Drunkboxer: Jun 30, 2007

Trash Trick posted:

Alcoholism is nothing to take lightly. Take care of yourselves, all.

Hmm. No Peg.

*flushes toilet*

(The toilet was filled with bloody stool)

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:59

mormonpartyboat: Jan 14, 2015; by Reene

ok let me hit you with three words, lemme know your immediate reaction

funnel

cake

fries

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:59

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

magiccarpet posted:

will anyone fall for the 2020 campaign promise to repeal and replace obamacare

trump's entire base

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:59

quadrophrenic: Feb 4, 2011; WIN MARNIE WIN

lol lindsey graham voted for evan mcmullen

is that news? did we know that?

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:59

hallebarrysoetoro: Jun 14, 2003

i've never seen someone so stunningly incompetent at their job and i have seen steve spurrier coach in the nfl

actually that's a good analogy, steve spurrier just hosed off the entire time in washington and barely put in his 8 hours, and thought just by sheer elan would propel him to success

and both grifted washington out of tons of money

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:59

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

Vertical Lime posted:

i'm listening to a new yorker podcast namedrop us

they compared us with eve online to trump

holy poo poo we're famous

http://www.wnyc.org/story/populists-stage-coup-space/

A rag tag group of assholes take over thanks to spying and Russians.

Makes sense.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 17:59

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

Lastgirl posted:

were drunks who gives a poo poo

its all the same

wake up, see your glorious leader have a meltdown and contemplate how ephemeral your life is, then forget about it as you take your regulation whiskey shots with your breakfast and then shower with a cold beer in hand and then sit out on the porch with a vape and scotch in a glass, pass out for a few hours and forget what day it is, then go online and laugh at people who think they'll stop the missiles with their ARs and hands and yinlocking without a liscence. Then you play a few rounds of whatever game u want, watch netflix, listen to some music and then drift back to sleep where its the closest feeling you'll get to death for a brief moment as you lay supine, suspended in the blackness of the universe where time no longer exists because it is not part of this reality in this construct of your mind as you perceive it.

You may be a decade old, centuries old, h*ck even eons old, there is no longer any type of objective relativity as you are eventually shattered into the swirling heat of our dying star. The universe beckons and your temporary body returns to dust, perhaps your atoms scattered across countless galaxies to be reformed on another alien planet that can maintain life and you will have a couple million years to evolve, form your own alien alcohol and alien weed, alien languages, and alien internet where we have an alien democracy and are forced to watch our pissbaby manchild alien president have a meltdown on alien twitter and then you wonder if it was all worth it, you then shrug it off and embrace your ephemerality once again.

and this fucko here is telling us about the wrong calendar day

jest drink~

# ? Mar 4, 2017 18:00

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

i'm drinking a lot less since trump got elected and have started an aggressive workout routine again.

make my abs great again.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 18:00

magiccarpet: Jan 3, 2005

is there a general, all purpose gofundme for nazi bashing or do i just send my bitcoins to the aclu

# ? Mar 4, 2017 18:00

SpaceGoku: Jul 19, 2011

magiccarpet posted:

will anyone fall for the 2020 campaign promise to repeal and replace obamacare

"the democrats kept us from doing anything with our complete control of the federal government so that's why you should vote for us again so this time we can actually take away your healthcare for real"

# ? Mar 4, 2017 18:00

bean mom: Jan 30, 2009

The Brown Menace posted:

Ma'am you want normal or curly fries

does that sound like she wants normal fries to you??

# ? Mar 4, 2017 18:00

Brother Friendship: Jul 12, 2013

mormonpartyboat posted:

ok let me hit you with three words, lemme know your immediate reaction

funnel

cake

fries

Home.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 18:01

Pancakes: May 21, 2001; Crypto-Rump Roast

Zyla posted:

that law degree will ensure you're always problematic, friend

sorry

I have one too, and theres no escape from this seared flesh brand

True story, when I was with the public defender down in St. Louis County we were workshopping ideas for constitution-themed tattoos at a bar after work. I had to explain to someone why the number 14, despite representing a great amendment to the US constitution, was not something you should tattoo yourself with.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 18:01