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ladron posted:EDIT - hey man, it sucks to have to say this, but you might want to take out your picture (and ask flos.. to do it too)specifically because of poo poo in that other thread..... What the f
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Mar 3, 2017 19:43
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davidspackage posted:What the f (i said you had a giant package, sorry)
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Mar 3, 2017 19:56
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I can't take the picture off the post because I attached it and you don't have PMs. What happened?! e: Oh, someone called me a racist. Eh. I don't care. If saying that I was insulted by that is a "meltdown," I guess there are very low standards for meltdowns. Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 05:53 on Mar 4, 2017 |
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Mar 4, 2017 05:48
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trickybiscuits posted:
What terrible parenting. If you find an envelope in your son's room labelled "top secret," sure, open it. Unless he's a psychopath, it's gonna be something as benign as what his true favourite colour is. Then, rather than questioning him about it, just reseal it and put it back. On birthdays and Christmas, happen to get him pink stuff. He'll appreciate it a lot more if he doesn't think you're now forcing it on him because you found his private note. Fleta Mcgurn posted:I agree with everyone else who has said that Rihanna is awesome. I hope she never stops speaking her weird little mind. Content: I was at a restaurant with my parents recently. I went into the bathroom to wash my hands before dinner, and as I was entering, a man and his son were leaving. The boy said "Daddy, I'm never going to go pee again!  "Good luck with that, little dude.
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Mar 4, 2017 16:28
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yo rear end is grass posted:What terrible parenting. If you find an envelope in your son's room labelled "top secret," sure, open it. Unless he's a psychopath, it's gonna be something as benign as what his true favourite colour is. I think you might be to harsh on the parents, here. Almost all parents are making this poo poo up as they go. This is more true in cultures where families are far flung and parents are just expected to hit the ground running to deal with what has to be the most terrifying task they've ever taken on in their life. I think how they handled it was far more positive than most of the ways they could have responded. I got the feeling it was more about finding out WHY he felt he needed to keep his color preference secret from everyone. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want my child to grow up thinking there are parts of my life that need to be hidden or pushed down because they vary from the expected norm. I fail to see how what they're doing is "terrible"
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Mar 4, 2017 16:47
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Little boy at work the other day: "This is new shoes. Also, I'm so cool!"
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Mar 4, 2017 19:41
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flosofl posted:I think you might be to harsh on the parents, here. Almost all parents are making this poo poo up as they go. This is more true in cultures where families are far flung and parents are just expected to hit the ground running to deal with what has to be the most terrifying task they've ever taken on in their life. Perhaps "terrible" was too strong of a term, but I stand by everything else I said.
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Mar 5, 2017 02:34
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Facebook "memory" from two years ago, when I was still teaching elementary school: Things you never thought you'd say (until you became a teacher): "If I find any more cheese in this room, I'm going to make you all smell it."(Followed by "YES TEACHER PLEASE GOOD SMELL!") "Stop touching his butt. I know he's your friend, but right now you need to touch your book, not his butt." "Why is he crying? Oh, his mom's late? Awww...it's okay, buddy, let's go draw on the windows." (I had special window markers.) "No, no, it's B-R-O-W-N, not B-R-A-U-N. Right. 'My poop is brown.' Perfect writing!" "If you call me 'Mr. Fleta' one more time, you have to eat your pencil." THOMAS: "Fleta-teacher, I made you a picture!" ME: "Wow, I love it!" THOMAS: "Do you know what it is?" ME: "Um...well...it looks like a dragon eating a train." THOMAS: "Yes!" ME: "Well, this is the best picture I've ever seen of a dragon eating a train." THOMAS: "I know."
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Mar 6, 2017 09:36
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:THOMAS: "Fleta-teacher, I made you a picture!" 
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Mar 6, 2017 16:28
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1st grade, talking about the differences between spending money on needs vs wants. Teacher: What are some examples of things we need? Kid 1: Food Kid 2: Water! Kid 3: A home! Kid 4: Health insurance.
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Mar 7, 2017 23:28
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Me: What are you doing? My Son (three years old, naked, flat on his back and kicking me in the stomach): I'm trying to kill you!
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Mar 7, 2017 23:52
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sweeperbravo posted:Kid 4: Health insurance. In 20 years, this'll be their "remember how we all wanted to be astronauts when we grew up?"
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Mar 8, 2017 00:54
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Facebook "memory" from two years ago, when I was still teaching elementary school:
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Mar 8, 2017 02:09
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Little girl at work tonight, gesturing to the candy sitting at my register and then pointing to me: Dat's yours! Her dad: No babe, that's not hers, she just sells it. LG, shyly: It mine?
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Mar 8, 2017 02:10
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Leo and McCrea are wearing the same cream-colored jackets today (as long as the kids are wearing one piece of their uniform, we don't bust them; in the 'regular' part of the school they'd get in trouble) and were walking around with their arms around each other. Of course, it's hard to walk and hug at the same time, so they were staggering and lurching all over the hallway. MOMO: Haha, Fleta, look. McCree and Leo are a couple. LEO: No, we're not! MOMO: Same clothes. Couple. LEO: Fleta, I'm not gay! I just want him to go to the bathroom with me. ME: That's kind of weird. LEO: IT'S NOT WEIRD! MCCREE: ...a little weird.
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Mar 10, 2017 03:59
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sweeperbravo posted:1st grade, talking about the differences between spending money on needs vs wants. Kid 4 rules.
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Mar 10, 2017 04:01
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Rihanna's class making fun of their TOEFL listening assignment: RIHANNA: *imitating the CD* "Excuse me, professor, I lost my ID card." *deep voice* "Oh, I don't care, you stupid girl, go away." TOM: "Professor, I lost my everything." *wink* "Can you help meeeee?" ME: "How many people are here today?" EVERYONE: *vague mutterings of "eight"* TOM: "No, seven!" ME: "I think it's eight." TOM: "NO! It's seven! Look!" *counting* "...five, six, seven..." *freezes* ME: "You forgot to count yourself, didn't you?" TOM: "Uh...maybe." RIHANNA: "I can fart like a car." e: TOM: "Oh, god." ME: "What's wrong?" TOM: "Maybe I'm gonna have detention." FRANK: "Cool" 
Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 05:13 on Mar 10, 2017 |
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Mar 10, 2017 04:57
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Rihanna's impression of Trump: "MAKE BOOBS BIG AGAIN" with the matching face. And her new rendition of "Sex With Me": "Seeeeexxxx with meeeeee....oh, it's so terrible, so terrible..." and miscellaneous Rihanna goodness: "Fleta, can I practice my recitation outside?" Why? "Because when I see you, I can't stop staring. Because you're amaaaaaaazzzzzinnggggg. Just the way you aaaaaaaare." RIHANNA: *whispers* "I'm flat." ME: "What did you say?" RIHANNA: .... ME: "Did you say 'I'm flat'?" RIHANNA: "Yes." ME: "Okay." RIHANNA: "NO ONE IS FLATTER THAN ME!" ME: "I'm not going back to America." JAYDEN: "Why? Oh, Trump." ME: "Yeah, I hate him." TOM: "I read an American news report that says he is a baby." ME: "Yeah, definitely. But his daughter's hot." LITERALLY EVERYONE: "Yeah!" Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 07:59 on Mar 10, 2017 |
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Mar 10, 2017 07:39
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Rihanna's impression of Drumpf: 
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Mar 10, 2017 07:50
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AND THE HITS KEEP ON COMING TOM: "Fleta, how can I make my cat take a shower?" ME: "I don't think you can MAKE a cat do anything, but my cat liked to sit in the shower with me." TOM: "But what if the cat gets dirty?" ME: "It will clean itself." TOM: "But what if it's really, really dirty? I think it will hurt me if I make it have a shower." ME: "You could use a wet towel and wipe the cat." TOM: "Okay, write that down for me so I can check the words." *I do so* TOM: "What about cutting its [claws]? I think it will kill me." So apparently Tom is getting a cat today. He was really worried about keeping it clean. e: RIHANNA: "What are we going to do when you leave?" ME: "You can put a wig on [Grand Fromage] and pretend." RIHANNA: "But he has no boobs. I will say to him, 'Oh, Fleta, what happened? Your boobs exploded!'" Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 08:50 on Mar 10, 2017 |
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Mar 10, 2017 07:55
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I just wanted to mention I can verify Rihanna's existence and she is being portrayed accurately.
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Mar 10, 2017 11:33
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These posts slowly restore my faith in humanity, bit by bit.
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Mar 10, 2017 13:28
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My cousin's kids were suddenly very quiet & their mom went to check:
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Mar 11, 2017 03:18
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Powaqoatse posted:My cousin's kids were suddenly very quiet & their mom went to check: Well, you probably should be quiet at an execution.
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Mar 11, 2017 05:11
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Well, you probably should be quiet at an execution. God yeah no. Imo you dont wanna be known as the rear end in a top hat who did the wave when they hanged whoever
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Mar 11, 2017 05:52
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Amber's back. ME: "Amber, I'm so glad you're back. How are you feeling?" AMBER: "I'm great! I got my fake dick!" ME: "How do you like it?" AMBER: "I looooovvvvve iiiiitttttt." ME: "How about your girlfriend?" AMBER: "She loves it so much." ME: "How does it work?" AMBER: 'You're married. You know already."  Well, she's not wrong. Incidentally, she missed a week of school to get that drat eyelid surgery. That's one of my least favorite things about teaching in Asia; kids missing tons of school for plastic surgery. Or circumcisions. The freshmen were having an argument before class: ME: "Please stop shouting in the classroom." BOYS: *rabble rabble rabble* ME: "HEY! If you're gonna fight, go fight outside." MCCREA: "We're not fighting." LEO: "Yeah, just talking." DAVID: "It's okay. Everybody friends." Then David punched Leo in the side of the head. DAVID: "FRIENDS!" LEO: "Fucccckkkk."
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Mar 13, 2017 06:54
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The seniors are taking a unit test for their anthropology class: EVAN: "It says here you want an example of nonverbal communication. What does that mean?" ME: "It means not using spoken or written speech." EVAN: "Oh. Okay. Then...how do you spell 'diaper'?" I am looking forward to finding out what the context of this is.
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Mar 15, 2017 07:22
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"Neanderthals and homo sapiens existed at the same time. However, today only homo sapiens still exists. Give me one possible explanation for the disappearance of Neanderthals." Student's answer: BAD ECONOMY     
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Mar 15, 2017 08:59
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:BAD ECONOMY Not the worst answer.
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Mar 15, 2017 12:07
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He's technically right, as I recall- the way I read it, Homo Sapiens simply snapped up all the resources the Neanderthals used to rely on. Hell, we even snapped up their ladies, as we still have some traces of Neanderthal DNA in us, which means their ladyfolk got a whole more busy with us than with their own dudes
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Mar 15, 2017 12:37
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No wonder incels are so pissed. Human males used to be so Chad-like they could pull cross-species Stacey. …unless the neanderthal ladies were the leftovers that balanced out the sexual marketplace? I feel ill. (Sorry. The r/incel thread has damaged us all.) burial has a new favorite as of 19:38 on Mar 15, 2017 |
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Mar 15, 2017 19:36
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Apparently my son (6) yesterday after school while ball with a group of friends. One kids drops the ball. My kid: Oh what the loving hell! Also our normal morning conversation. Me: Goodbye son! Have a great day! Him: Goodbye butt! Have a great butt! Or Goodbye fart! Have lots of farts today! Or Goodbye butt fart! I hope you get lots of farts out of your butt at your butt work today!
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Mar 15, 2017 23:24
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My five year old niece has had a lot of wonderful zingers, most of the notable ones have been documented in this thread over the past 3 years. I now bring you the latest installment. "You want a hot dog, black maaaaan?" (Said with all the sass she could muster. She was referring to Sascha Baron Cohen's character in Through the Looking Glass, who notably wore all black clothes. A discussion about adjectives was had) "I LOVE A GOOD CATFIGHT!" ("That's when you fight a cat, right?") "Chapter sixteeeeeeeen! *throws a stick at me*" (?????) "You played Final Fantasy without me?!?! You have to start it over, that game is in my heart!" (She loves Prompto, I'm more of a Gladiolus woman) I frickin love her.
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Mar 15, 2017 23:42
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Keystoned posted:Apparently my son (6) yesterday after school while ball with a group of friends. Please send your kid to me because we seem to be on the same level! CommissarMega posted:He's technically right, as I recall- the way I read it, Homo Sapiens simply snapped up all the resources the Neanderthals used to rely on. Hell, we even snapped up their ladies, as we still have some traces of Neanderthal DNA in us, which means their ladyfolk got a whole more busy with us than with their own dudes Yeah, that's what I thought she was possibly trying to write, but the choice of "bad economy" just made me laugh. Imagining Neanderthals at a stock market meeting or something. She also wrote "premiere figure" for the answer to one question and I managed to decode that she meant "thumb." Oh, and her answer to "What continent is generally accepted as the origin of humanity?" was "stone tools." *headdesk* She has a lot of problems with her English. Problems that should have been addressed BEFORE she was supposed to be graduating. I never taught her class before this year and I didn't know her well, but I really have to shake my head at how poorly the administration has responded to addressing what I suspect is a real learning issue, since apparently she's just as difficult to understand in Chinese. I'm not trained to work with exceptional learners in this setting and neither is anyone else on staff. I do my best but this is blatantly damaging bullshit and one of the reasons I'm glad to be leaving at the end of the school year.
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Mar 16, 2017 02:10
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lemon-lyme disease posted:No wonder incels are so pissed. Human males used to be so Chad-like they could pull cross-species Stacey. m'Levallois. *tips hat* Gonna need a bigger fedora. Incidentally, I place more stock in the interbreeding hypothesis, but tbf ancestral hominins aren't my bag. Cranial nonmetrics, though 
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Mar 16, 2017 02:15
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Email from a student: "I'm sorry to be absent from your class today. I have killing dysmenorrhea. I'm dead."
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Mar 16, 2017 04:29
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Keystoned posted:Apparently my son (6) yesterday after school while ball with a group of friends. Haha, my nephews started saying "what the heck" a lot recently. In English (their first language is Danish). My brother & his wife have no idea where they picked it up.
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Mar 16, 2017 09:09
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Nekodoshi posted:"You want a hot dog, black maaaaan?" (Said with all the sass she could muster. She was referring to Sascha Baron Cohen's character in Through the Looking Glass, who notably wore all black clothes. A discussion about adjectives was had) When my niece was about 3 my Dad took her to a puppet show where the puppeteers were covered head to toe in black so they blended in with the back ground. This scared her and they had to leave. Later that day she loudly exclaimed, in public "I don't like black people".
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Mar 16, 2017 10:01
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Nekodoshi posted:"Chapter sixteeeeeeeen! *throws a stick at me*" (?????) I love this. I hope it becomes the next world star.
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Mar 16, 2017 15:16
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lemon-lyme disease posted:(Sorry. The r/incel thread has damaged us all.)
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Mar 16, 2017 18:38
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