Bad w/ Money: I just paid for a fat bitches Electric Cock Zapping Sex Toy in Kentucky

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad w/ Money: I just paid for a fat bitches Electric Cock Zapping Sex Toy in Kentucky

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monster on a stick: Apr 29, 2013

JUST MAKING CHILI posted:

Is it a counter service horse whisperer or do they come to you?

We meet at the horse spa.

# ? Mar 8, 2017 21:52

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# ? May 18, 2024 02:35

Hoodwinker: Nov 7, 2005

That is the saddest horse. Do all horses look that sad? I could never cope with owning such a sad, majestic creature.

# ? Mar 8, 2017 21:54

n8r: Jul 3, 2003; I helped Lowtax become a cyborg and all I got was this lousy avatar

Barry posted:

He only started humblebragging after you weakly attempted to talk poo poo

This wasn't a humblebrag?
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3555678&pagenumber=802&perpage=40#post470074967

# ? Mar 8, 2017 21:56

OBAMNA PHONE: Aug 7, 2002

i hope someone is BWM enough to buy you a big red title

# ? Mar 8, 2017 22:00

Vox Nihili: May 28, 2008

n8r posted:

This wasn't a humblebrag?
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3555678&pagenumber=802&perpage=40#post470074967

Someone summon the toucan, please.

Vox Nihili fucked around with this message at 22:09 on Mar 8, 2017

# ? Mar 8, 2017 22:01

mike-: Jul 9, 2004; Phillipians 1:21

If you are trying to not look like a crazy person, you aren't helping your case much

# ? Mar 8, 2017 22:05

pig slut lisa: Mar 5, 2012; irl is good

Can both sides of this dumb argument please knock it off like I asked last page? Thanks. :chillout:

e: more like cargument

pig slut lisa fucked around with this message at 22:12 on Mar 8, 2017

# ? Mar 8, 2017 22:10

monster on a stick: Apr 29, 2013

Hoodwinker posted:

That is the saddest horse. Do all horses look that sad? I could never cope with owning such a sad, majestic creature.

I know! I have an appointment with a horse psychiatrist next week.

Which sounds crazy until you hear about how much bird psychiatrists cost.

# ? Mar 8, 2017 22:12

Nail Rat: Dec 29, 2000; You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell!!

Holy moley :staredog:

Anyhow, make sure you sell your stocks in September because there's going to be a "correction" in October!

Of course, if everyone believes him and sells in September, that means there will be a correction in September. But if we all know that...

http://www.cnbc.com/2017/03/06/expect-a-market-correction-for-the-sp-500-this-october-technical-analyst-says.html posted:

"We can go up quite a lot more," Griffiths told CNBC on Monday referring to major global benchmarks. However, "all of my work suggests the risk of a correction is in the second half of this year and if I had to name the month I'd say October," he added.

This really is about as credible as that crazy woman Bill Murray has on his talkshow in Ghostbusters II.

quote:

Venkman: Well, for your sake, I hope you're right. Okay. But I think my other guest may disagree with you. Elaine, now you had another date in mind?
Elaine: According to my source, the end of the world will be on February 14, in the year 2016.
Venkman: Valentine's Day. Bummer. Where did you get your date, Elaine?
Elaine: I received this information from an alien.

# ? Mar 8, 2017 22:15

Droo: Jun 25, 2003

Doc Hawkins posted:

Yeah, this. There is no perfect bill-splitting app yet, but Venmo is close. One person pays, then sends "bills" to everyone else through Venmo.

Just don't use it to receive money from anyone you don't know.

This sounds way easier than just carrying $100 with all the other stuff I carry.

Edit: maybe this is a "millennials suck at math like they suck at everything else and quickly adding up the stuff you ordered is hard" type thing?

# ? Mar 8, 2017 22:15

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Hoodwinker posted:

That is the saddest horse. Do all horses look that sad? I could never cope with owning such a sad, majestic creature.

Rare capture of the very instant a horse starts to think of ants.

# ? Mar 8, 2017 22:16

BonerGhost: Mar 9, 2007

monster on a stick posted:

I know! I have an appointment with a horse psychiatrist next week.

Which sounds crazy until you hear about how much bird psychiatrists cost.

How does it compare to a bird lawyer? About the same?

# ? Mar 8, 2017 22:53

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Hoodwinker posted:

That is the saddest horse. Do all horses look that sad? I could never cope with owning such a sad, majestic creature.

poo poo, I thought you were just making a joke but click on the full size and that horse looks like it's about ready to cry.

# ? Mar 8, 2017 22:58

BloodBag: Sep 20, 2008; WITNESS ME!

Hoodwinker posted:

That is the saddest horse. Do all horses look that sad? I could never cope with owning such a sad, majestic creature.

I'm ashamed that I know this.

That's called a 'soft eye'. That horse is interested in what the photographer is doing, hence his ears are pricked forward. His upper lip is pooking out a bit, which means someone is feeding him treats off camera and he's itching for another one. That horse is probably having a great time because some of them do like being washed. Judging by the appearance of the rest of the horse, it's groomed very often.That's a saint of a horse to put up with whatever that contraption is in the first place though. I'd hazard a guess that it's for helping their tendons after a race.

# ? Mar 8, 2017 23:25

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Krispy Kareem posted:

poo poo, I thought you were just making a joke but click on the full size and that horse looks like it's about ready to cry.

*storms into thread

Why....._{*loses breathe} why the.... _*wheezes long face?!!

# ? Mar 8, 2017 23:27

in a well actually: Jan 26, 2011; dude, you gotta end it on the rhyme

monster on a stick posted:

We meet at the horse spa.

at the horse wash
working at the horse wash yeah

# ? Mar 8, 2017 23:31

monster on a stick: Apr 29, 2013

NancyPants posted:

How does it compare to a bird lawyer? About the same?

I've never needed a bird lawyer. Thankfully the American College of Equine Attorneys has me covered for horse law. In fact I think I may try to win a scholarship to their conference in Lexington KY by writing out an essay:

quote:

Sally Buyer, an enthusiastic amateur western pleasure rider, who had achieved national recognition in horse showing, decided to buy for training, showing, and eventual resale, a young quarter horse colt that would have value as a stallion.

She bought a horse from Jimmy Seller, a local horse dealer who mostly sold prospects for quarter horse racing. The bill of sale listed the sale as being "as is." Jimmy Seller, in talking up the horse, told Sally that he was a "fine prospect for showing" and would make a "great horse." The horse was vetted by a vet known to Jimmy Seller. The veterinarian Doc Smith noticed that the horse, when taken out of the stall, seemed a little stiff in his back legs, but he quickly warmed up and there was no further issues during the exam. The vet noted the stiffness on the pre-purchase but had no other comment and did no other testing.

Three weeks after the sale, the horse came down with a severe case of "stringhalt" which made the horse worthless for either showing or breeding. This neurological malady causes a horse to goose step with his hind legs very strongly so that the hooves hit the horse's belly. As a result of this malady, Sally attempted to return the horse. Jimmy Seller refused. Sally reckoned that the veterinarian Doc Smith should have known that the horse had a neurological malady and sued both Jimmy and the veterinarian.

Discuss all claims and the likelihood of success for each.

# ? Mar 8, 2017 23:33

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

I'm pretty sure a goose stepping horse would be very valuable in this day and age

# ? Mar 8, 2017 23:46

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Used to be, most matters of "horse law" were settled by a length of strong rope, now you got all these attorneys and such confusin' things.

# ? Mar 8, 2017 23:56

BEHOLD: MY CAPE: Jan 11, 2004

monster on a stick posted:

I've never needed a bird lawyer. Thankfully the American College of Equine Attorneys has me covered for horse law. In fact I think I may try to win a scholarship to their conference in Lexington KY by writing out an essay:

A friend of mine's father is an equine attorney and makes $a lot doing it

# ? Mar 9, 2017 00:08

BonerGhost: Mar 9, 2007

BloodBag posted:

I'm ashamed that I know this.

That's called a 'soft eye'. That horse is interested in what the photographer is doing, hence his ears are pricked forward. His upper lip is pooking out a bit, which means someone is feeding him treats off camera and he's itching for another one. That horse is probably having a great time because some of them do like being washed. Judging by the appearance of the rest of the horse, it's groomed very often.That's a saint of a horse to put up with whatever that contraption is in the first place though. I'd hazard a guess that it's for helping their tendons after a race.

Are you telling me that horse is trying to guilt someone into giving it another piece of food or what? This further supports my theory that a horse is just an overgrown variety of rabbit.

monster on a stick posted:

I've never needed a bird lawyer. Thankfully the American College of Equine Attorneys has me covered for horse law. In fact I think I may try to win a scholarship to their conference in Lexington KY by writing out an essay:

The Tale of Sally Buyer and Jimmy Seller

I'm so out of it I was like, "Man what a coincidence on their names" :downs:

# ? Mar 9, 2017 00:51

Hoodwinker: Nov 7, 2005

BloodBag posted:

I'm ashamed that I know this.

That's called a 'soft eye'. That horse is interested in what the photographer is doing, hence his ears are pricked forward. His upper lip is pooking out a bit, which means someone is feeding him treats off camera and he's itching for another one. That horse is probably having a great time because some of them do like being washed. Judging by the appearance of the rest of the horse, it's groomed very often.That's a saint of a horse to put up with whatever that contraption is in the first place though. I'd hazard a guess that it's for helping their tendons after a race.

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRD
(this is very interesting, thanks for the information!

)

# ? Mar 9, 2017 01:25

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

BloodBag posted:

I'm ashamed that I know this.

That's called a 'soft eye'. That horse is interested in what the photographer is doing, hence his ears are pricked forward. His upper lip is pooking out a bit, which means someone is feeding him treats off camera and he's itching for another one. That horse is probably having a great time because some of them do like being washed. Judging by the appearance of the rest of the horse, it's groomed very often.That's a saint of a horse to put up with whatever that contraption is in the first place though. I'd hazard a guess that it's for helping their tendons after a race.

So a giant labrador that spooks itself to death?

# ? Mar 9, 2017 01:29

Boxman: Sep 27, 2004; Big fan of

I have no idea what I've been looking at to justify this ad being served to me besides this thread.

# ? Mar 9, 2017 01:35

GoutPatrol: Oct 17, 2009; *Stupid Babby*

monster on a stick posted:

We meet at the horse spa.

How is this thing supposed to reach up to clean the sheath

# ? Mar 9, 2017 01:51

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

monster on a stick posted:

I've never actually seen the horse->glue machine before. Horrific

# ? Mar 9, 2017 01:54

monster on a stick: Apr 29, 2013

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

I've never actually seen the horse->glue machine before. Horrific

Maybe the Collectors are trying to make not just any Reaper, but a Horse Reaper. :aaa:

# ? Mar 9, 2017 02:02

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

We are one dorky community that you can just assume I played 2011's Mass Effect 2 and understood your reference to poor Yeoman Kelly Chamber's demise

# ? Mar 9, 2017 02:17

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

GoutPatrol posted:

How is this thing supposed to reach up to clean the sheath

Horse doesn't want it to reach the sheath. Didn't you read the door? COLD SPAS

# ? Mar 9, 2017 02:21

monster on a stick: Apr 29, 2013

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

We are one dorky community that you can just assume I played 2011's Mass Effect 2 and understood your reference to poor Yeoman Kelly Chamber's demise

I'm more disturbed that you kept doing missions after they kidnapped your crew.

Edit: though she deserves it for not feeding my fish

monster on a stick fucked around with this message at 03:29 on Mar 9, 2017

# ? Mar 9, 2017 02:24

OBAMNA PHONE: Aug 7, 2002

GoutPatrol posted:

How is this thing supposed to reach up to clean the sheath

maybe they offer an add on sheathlight cleaner?

# ? Mar 9, 2017 03:19

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Dwight Eisenhower posted:

Give cash. It'll help more people, it's more environmentally sound, and it is the optimal way to help people who are getting economically hosed to the point where they can't put food on the table. :tmyk:

Thanks for this, and thanks to the other responses. I learned something useful today.

# ? Mar 9, 2017 03:43

SweetSassyMolassy: Oct 31, 2010

https://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=213033

How Much in Your Emergency Fund and Is it Used?

quote:

Several months ago, I had to come up with $1.3 million in cash after my wife insisted we buy a specific house.

I had $160k available on hand (No joke), and the rest I got from friends and a private loan. I needed a private loan because our DTI ratios wouldn't support conventional financing.

Other emergencies have included sending $7,500 to property manager while on vacation in Thailand to repair roof damage caused by a falling tree.

The last real emergency was unexpected job loss back in 2000. I was barely out of school and hadn't worked enough to build up adequate savings. Back then my monthly burn rate was only around $1250, but it was super scary. Subsequent job losses have been anticipated or welcomed, and didn't constitute emergencies.

This feels like BWM to me... a $1,300,000 emergency house purchase because of his wife needing a specific house. I wonder how his conversations with his friends went?

"Hey man, my wife is totally into this sweet house, but I can't afford it."
"That's a shame, maybe you should keep looking."
"Nah, we HAVE to buy it. Can I borrow a hundred grand?"

# ? Mar 9, 2017 03:45

golden bubble: Jun 3, 2011; yospos

Droo posted:

This sounds way easier than just carrying $100 with all the other stuff I carry.

Edit: maybe this is a "millennials suck at math like they suck at everything else and quickly adding up the stuff you ordered is hard" type thing?

I've found it's more of a "millennials don't carry enough small bills to split the bill properly" problem. I've had a lot of fun "can anyone make change for a $20 in mostly $1?" problems.

# ? Mar 9, 2017 03:47

Bhodi: Dec 9, 2007; Oh, it's just a cat.; Pillbug

Who uses the term "burn rate" when talking about their personal expenses? You're not a loving startup, get a grip.

# ? Mar 9, 2017 04:22

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

Bhodi posted:

Who talks about their own expenses in terms of "burn rate"? You're not a loving startup, get a grip

Hey if you have a better way of staying warm in the winter than burning big piles of dollar bills I don't wanna hear it buddy :colbert:

# ? Mar 9, 2017 04:23

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Bhodi posted:

Who uses the term "burn rate" when talking about their personal expenses? You're not a loving startup, get a grip.

Our household is disrupting the budget business. We're hoping to find some synergy at the thrift store.

Oh look, Citibank came in with some fresh VC, time to give the wife her retention bonus.

# ? Mar 9, 2017 04:31

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Krispy Kareem posted:

Our household is disrupting the budget business. We're hoping to find some synergy at the thrift store.

Oh look, Citibank came in with some fresh VC, time to give the wife her retention bonus.

I thought retention bonuses were due out on Valentine's Day? When are you conducting anual reviews that they are coming out this late?

Also, you should remind the kids that they are an expense line and not a revenue generating department, so they should be happy for whatever meager bonus pool gets kicked thier way.

# ? Mar 9, 2017 04:40

rufius: Feb 27, 2011; Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Bhodi posted:

Who uses the term "burn rate" when talking about their personal expenses? You're not a loving startup, get a grip.

Pretty common in the "Financial Independence/Retire Early" (FIRE) community. I've got a friend that is part of that community that's a former techie. He gets so pissed when he hears people refer to their expenses as "burn rate". I think it may be a side effect of a lot of the FIRE people before former techies. :downswords:

# ? Mar 9, 2017 04:47

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# ? May 18, 2024 02:35

Sic Semper Goon: Mar 1, 2015; Eu tu?; Switchblade Switcharoo

ate all the Oreos posted:

Hey if you have a better way of staying warm in the winter than burning big piles of dollar bills I don't wanna hear it buddy

At least $50 notes or GTFO, you povo bogan.

EDIT: Apparently, Australian polymer notes won't burn, but melt instead.

# ? Mar 9, 2017 04:50

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