/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Nuclearmonkee: Jun 10, 2009

Barudak posted:

Got a sister of a friend who breastfeeds her 3 year old still. Her 3 year old is also unvaccinated, has never eaten cooked food that family members didnt smuggle her, and has never slept through the night.

I could fill a thread with her bad decisions but basically dont take life advice from people who breastfeed things that can talk.

Most of that is dumb but nursing a child to their 2nd birthday or beyond is recommended by the WHO and continuing to nurse until 3ish is normal in lots of the world with demonstrated cognitive and immune system developmental advantages since breast milk is the perfect nutrition source for a developing baby.

My wife nursed our first to two before she stopped and the second weaned himself around three.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 02:47

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# ? May 14, 2024 07:50

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I[23F] just found out my boyfriend[24M] poops in urinals for fun.

run away girl in a month or two he'll be making GBS threads in your mouth for fun

# ? Mar 10, 2017 02:52

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Play posted:

run away girl in a month or two he'll be making GBS threads in your mouth for fun

"Okay, babe, I need you to stand against the wall... no, no, bend your knees, down a little lower... okay, there we go. Now open wide..."

# ? Mar 10, 2017 03:08

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Nuclearmonkee posted:

Most of that is dumb but nursing a child to their 2nd birthday or beyond is recommended by the WHO and continuing to nurse until 3ish is normal in lots of the world with demonstrated cognitive and immune system developmental advantages since breast milk is the perfect nutrition source for a developing baby.

My wife nursed our first to two before she stopped and the second weaned himself around three.

Wrong, human infants were designed to be fed breast milk for two weeks only, followed by formula until you can get the bastards to choke down boiled carrots. It's natural. That's how it's been since before the dawn of history. You and your wife's deviant sexual practices disgust me.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 03:12

Nuclearmonkee: Jun 10, 2009

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I[23F] just found out my boyfriend[24M] poops in urinals for fun.

We had a guy who did this in high school. He would also top shelf the faculty bathroom.

Guy was never caught. We called him the phantom shitter.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 03:22

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

It's sort of an ergonomically correct shape for that sort of thing

# ? Mar 10, 2017 03:39

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

where are these countries with the supergenius unweaned teenagers and why have they not taken over the world yet

# ? Mar 10, 2017 03:44

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

the story is super long and boring, but the title is extra :discourse:

I [M/26] cheated on my girlfriend [24/F] last night told her and she said "it's okay, I cheated on you too"

# ? Mar 10, 2017 03:48

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

if you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain....

# ? Mar 10, 2017 04:11

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Nuclearmonkee posted:

We had a guy who did this in high school. He would also top shelf the faculty bathroom.

Guy was never caught. We called him the phantom shitter.

One summer I was doing a 3d modelling course at a high school and every day there would be poo poo in almost every urinal

# ? Mar 10, 2017 04:14

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Antivehicular posted:

You know, some things would be less weird if they were just a sexual fetish. I can totally buy someone getting off of urinal-pooping, but who could enjoy this platonically?

This is super rude to the janitors and custodians :sever:

# ? Mar 10, 2017 04:23

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Me [23 F] with my bf [25 M], follows/stalks girls/pornstars who look like his exRelationships
submitted 35 minutes ago * by Carol_turner

My bf and I have been together for 2.5 years. He's 25 and im 23.

I have recently rediscovered him constantly looking up one pornstar's porno and images. She has striking resemblance to his ex, even I thought it was her initially. In the past he used to follow girls on instagram that looked like his ex too.

Him and his ex were together for 1 year. she was his first love. we got started dating 3 years after they broke up. Im starting to think hes still not over her.

Unsure what to do as I have mixed feelings about this. Has anyone been in a similiar situation? Whats your thoughts on this?

# ? Mar 10, 2017 04:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

pick's thoughts: get over your loving ex. everyone. everyone get over your loving exes. they don't love you.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 04:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I [29F] am very active and in good shape, while my boyfriend [29M] of 3.5 years is overweight with terrible habits. It's affecting my feelings towards him.Relationships
submitted 8 hours ago by nowwords

Throwaway because he knows my reddit name, and frequently reads my posts and comments.

My boyfriend [29M] and I [29F] have been together for around 3.5 years. I've always been a pretty active, healthy person, and he knew this going in to the relationship with me. He was always a bit on the heavier side, but never really "that bad". We went through a small rough patch a few years ago where I gained some weight, but then lost it again (and then some). As I enter my 30's, I'm beginning to realize how important it is that I maintain my physical health. I watch what I eat, I'm very active, and I love doing things! He, on the other hand, has basically given up on himself. He's gained quite a bit of weight in the past 3 years, and is now well in to obese. He doesn't enjoy physical activity at all. He spends all of his time playing video games and sleeping. He doesn't enjoy eating healthy. He knows that he's gained weight, and he's self-conscious about it, and he knows that in order to lose it he needs to start eating better. But he has zero motivation to do so.

I cook us healthy meals, but he'll get up in the middle of the night and eat whatever junk he can find while I'm asleep. If I'm having a salad or vegetables for dinner, he will make himself pizza or fried noodles. I ask him to do things with me such as going for walks and hikes, but he always refuses. When he works during the day, he drinks full sugar pop and chips and cookies from gas stations. Then every once in a while he will freak out over his weight, and then not eat anything at all for a week or so at most, then go right back to binging on junk. I've explained to him over and over that this will not work, that it's a long process. That he needs to change his entire relationship with food for the rest of his life if he genuinely wants to lose the weight and keep it off, but he has no interest in that. He just argues with me and says things like, "I know this will work, I've done it before" (while completely ignoring the fact that every time he does it, he just gains it all back and then some due to extreme deprivation).

It's gotten to a point now where his clothes are no longer fitting him. I'm getting very frustrated because I want someone who I can go for walks with, go for hikes, camping, festivals, whatever. He doesn't enjoy these things because of his weight. He doesn't like leaving the house for any reason except work. I'm becoming less and less attracted to him as well.

I can't force him to eat less. I can't force him to change his lifestyle habits. It's frustrating because we've been together for so long, and we've known each other for even longer. He used to be extremely attractive. Now he's completely given up, and he just makes jokes at himself, laughing about how "fat and lazy" he is. I want so much better for him, and for us. But I can't force it from him, and I feel like an rear end in a top hat for feeling so frustrated with it all. I just don't understand why he's doing this, and why there's nothing I can do to help him get his poo poo together.

I've tried couples counselling, I've tried asking him to see a doctor about depression, I've tried offering to hook him up with a nutritionist, I've offered to bring him to the gym with me. I've tried introducing him to different sports that he seemed interested in, and I've even offered to join those sports as a couple with him if he wanted. I've tried tough love (telling him directly how I felt), and also support and encouragement, and also just simply ignoring it and only offering advice and suggestions when he brings it up. I've tried talking to weight loss support groups and reading forums of partners from his perspective, and asking them how they'd prefer their girlfriend approach the issue. I feel like I've completely exhausted every avenue I can think of. I don't know what else to do.

I guess I just needed to get this off my chest.

tl;dr: Boyfriend [29M] has completely let himself go, and it's beginning to negatively impact the way that I see him and my enjoyment from our relationship. I feel like I'm ready to give up, and I'm frustrated because I know he can do better, but he won't even try.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 04:49

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Dads gay, so what?

quote:

My [55M] father slept with my [20M] roommate last month, and I [21M] can't get over it.Non-Romantic
submitted 2 years ago * by throwawaypojar

Background: My dad is homosexual, he came out after 15 years of marriage (but apparently he knew for certain after ~8 years); we're all fine with that now after the official shock and he's moved in with a long term partner just a few months ago. My brother and I only see him maximum once a month, we all have our separate lives. He was verbally abusive when he was living with us, so I feel like if I tell my brother or mother what happened then they will probably just cut him off.

Fast forward to these past few months, I moved to a different country to study abroad, found what appeared to be some great roommates and really got close to them, and my dad came to visit.

And I found out after the visit that my dad slept with my friend (let's call him Luis). We were at a nightclub and I was away getting another drink, and Luis started boasting about what had happened to the male and female friend I had gone with. The male friend (Will) was shocked and immediately came to tell me (we're close). This was a few weeks ago and I was drunk so all I remember after at the club was that Luis and the female friend pretended that they were going to go home together to tease Will because he was a bit infatuated with the female. This meant that I got separated from everyone else.

On the way back from the club I remember being very angry at both Luis and my father. By some coincidence I saw him talking with someone on the way back and when he was about to wave or something I gave him the finger whilst continuing to walk back. He was very angry at me and was following me back and shouting all the way, but because I had my earphones in I couldn't actually hear him until I was in the stairwell of our apartment.

I just was trying to go to bed at that point, and honestly I just let him shout at me. I didn't confront him because I was feeling sad, tired, and drunk. He was shouting things like "You do NOT get to do this to me", "This is between YOU and him", "This is YOUR problem", and I don't remember much more. I felt really disappointed because I had seen him as a good friend and admired him for his foreign language skills and so on.

Part of the problem though was how my roommate had been consistently making sexual advances - especially when everyone was drinking. I thought it was just being bashful so left it at that prior. My father and I look very alike though, and have similar mannerisms etc., and I can't help but still feel uncomfortable because of this.

I also feel uncomfortable because Luis is younger than me, and my father was still sending him messages and texts after what happened. Both Luis and my father have long-term partners, both around 2/3 years, maybe they both have open relationships but I still don't know whether to tell their significant others or not.

Luis is only my roommate for less than a month more, and though we're in the same seminars and apartment for that time, I think I can handle just acknowledging him to the bare minimum for that time. It's also important to note most of our friendship groups in the university know, and they all support me and wouldn't be talking with him if I hadn't made some effort to cool everything down. I sometimes regret this, and it's hard to keep up, but I know it's best for practical reasons.

My dad, however, isn't a temporary relationship. If I'm not talking with him, I'll have to tell my mother and brother what happened. He also has between $5-6000 of mine in his bank account. He is also family, and has been a source of practical advice at times. Whilst he's never been the great male role model I needed, and is maybe even a narcissist (after reading /r/raisedbynarcissists), I think it's important to talk to him. On the other hand, I don't want to pretend that I'm okay with what he did, and I don't want to even talk about it with him .

I only have said one thing to my father since I found out though - "Did you sleep with [Luis]". He has sent me about 20 texts and emails in the past few weeks, denying that he slept with Luis (he only kissed/met, but I can tell he is lying), asking if I were okay, and so on. He also asked my mother to tell me to get in touch. I don't think he has sufficiently apologised.

Does anybody have any advice on what I can say to him? Has anybody been through something similar?

tl;dr: My father slept with my roommate and friend (both possibly cheating on long-term partners), the whole issue is just frozen. I want to move on, but can't. After a few weeks I also need to start talking to my dad again.
edit: someone spotted that I used my roommate's real name at one point, which has now been removed.

quote:

My (18F) dad (50M) is gay and is cheating on my mom (50F)[new]
submitted 1 month ago * by diamondflower00

Okay it's taken a lot of time to even be able to post this and get some kind of advice and I don't even know where to begin.

Okay so about to years ago my dad randomly decided to come out to me about being gay over text and along with him telling me he sent a picture of him and a guy and said "this is my boyfriend". (Please take into note that I was 16 and had no business even hearing this from my father but we have always been close) I didn't even know how to answer and just didn't answer which lead him to text me "never mind that just a friend please delete those texts" which I did. For a long time I had hunches about him being gay but always ignored them. I tried just pushing it in the back of my mind and forgetting what was said.

In November of 2015 we took a family/business trip with my dad to California. We all went a week earlier so we could have the family vacation then me, my mom and my little brother (17m) would go home and my dad would stay for another week for the business part of the trip. The trip was going well until one night my mom and dad met two ladies and a guy at the hotel bar and were outside on the patio drinking with them and I was there also. I instantly notice the man that they were with was gay and he told us right away. While we were sitting there I began to notice that my dad was starting to flirt with him. I begin to watch him closely and he would occasionally touch the guys leg I'd look over to see if my mom had noticed and she was talking to the lady next to her. I instantly became frustrated and left to call a close friend of mine to tell her what was going on. When I came back no one was there so I went up to the room and I asked mom where dad was and she said he was still drinking downstairs with the man. I told her I was going to run outside really quick and be right back. When I went downstairs my dad and the man were nowhere to be seen. So I text my dad where he was at and he said he went for a walk and I asked with who and he said by himself. Then I began to get frustrated and told him that he shouldn't be doing that in front of mom and he told me "don't make me regret telling you my secret".

My dad owns his own business and has had many younger men(20M, 19M) working for him who are gay and would go on business trips with them alone. One(19m) has even bragged to mutual friends about him having an affair with my dad. The other (20M) my dad moved into our basement. My dad even bought him a 2015 car.

One time I was in the kitchen with my mom and her phone was next to me and she got a text from my dad, who was outside in his shop, saying "snapchat me one more time so I can see you before I go inside". I asked her if this was meant for her and she was very surprised and said no. She stormed outside and it took about 10 to 15 minutes before she came back in and said that he had told her that was meant for my little brother she stormed outside and it took about 10 to 15 minutes before she came back in and said that he had told her that was meant for my little brother, who was in his room asleep. I knew what it was and I became very angry and left. The next day my mom asked me if my dad had been texting me and I told her no and she said that she asked who he was texting and he told her he was texting me. I texted my dad saying "do not use me for your lies".

Recently a lot of things have been happening, he's gone on business trips a lot almost weekly and he's gone all the time. One of my friends told my close friend that my dad had hit him up on grinder and sent him a selfie and then multiple pictures of his privates. I was very embarrassed because that kid is very close to my age (19M) and he's my friend.

I honestly don't know what to do because I know my mother has no idea what's going on. And recently my dad has began to treat me poorly and making me feel really down about myself. Even my older brother(27M) has asked me if I thought it was weird that my dad had men living with us. And how he knew he was gay and repeatedly cried about what was going to happen mom. I have nothing against homosexuals I support them but I feel like with my fathers doing to my mom is wrong. She's constantly upset because he won't hug her won't hold her hand or show any physical affection including verbal affection. I'm back-and-forth on whether I should say something or not because I feel like my mom is wasting so much of her life and has no idea what's going on. I need some serious advice on what I should do. Thank you for taking the time to read.

TL;DR: My dad is gay and is having affair on my mom who is clueless.

quote:

Me [18 M] and my adoptive father [36 M] have had a sexual relationship. He feels guilty and wants to stop. I feel like I'm losing something precious and irreplacable.Relationships
7 points 15 comments submitted 2 years ago by fathersonthrwaway to r/relationships

This is a long and weird story that is bound to weird a lot of you out. Please be understanding. I really need help here.

My dad and I met at a Christian concert when I was 17. He was Christian and was there for the music--I, an athiest, was there to meet people, enjoy the experience of camping, and to hang out with friends. I met him and his friend on the way to the showers, and we connected very well and I ended up hanging out with them.

For three days, I didn't leave my future dad's side. We slept in the back of his car together and in the night I told him things I had never told anyone. I told him about my abusive and homophobic dad, my drug-addict mother, feeling like an outsider in school, and my attempts at running away. He told me about being molested as a kid, about his HIV status, about how his father abandoned him and his family to take care of themselves (and they were poor, lower-caste Indians). He also told me about his deep longing to be a father--to be the father his father never was to him. Since he immigrated to America, he'd been taking foster care certification classes, but he had been told in confidence he'd probably be looked over due to his HIV and his singleness.

Ultimately, he and his friend ended up driving me home and staying at my place since it was so late and they still had a two hour drive. Late at night, on the floor in my bedroom, I told him I wanted him to be my dad. He started crying and said that he would. He stripped me naked (with my consent), held me in his arms, and rocked me back and forth, singing "You'll Be in My Heart". He muttered "You're my boy" in my ear until I feel asleep.
The next day they left, but we stayed in touch. We would talk on talk for hours a day over the phone or on Skype. A few weeks later, I told him I wanted him to adopt me and he cried even more.

This is where things started taking a sexual turn. As a Christian and a person of Indian cultural orgin, he'd grown up thinking homosexual sex was wrong, but he was addicted litterally since he was a child, and during his most difficult times, sex is what he would turn to. When we Skyped--slowly, gradually--we would start doing sexual things. Taking off our clothes. Mutually masturbating. I was nervous at first, having never done anything sexual, but I fully wanted to do these things with him and he put me at ease like no one else ever had.

During the daytime, when he was in a better state of mind, he'd be totured with guilt and want to stop. He told me so, one day, and I started crying horribly. I wanted that part of him. The part of himself he had given to so many people--why couldn't I have it? It was beautiful. It made me feel so close to him, so loved. I begged him. He eventually gave up, saying that we could have sex on time when I moved in and then we would never do it again. Everything that happened after this is my fault for trying to guilt him at this point. I didn't realize it then, but looking back it's clear.

My biological father would not cosign my student loans, I found out too late, so I had to defer a semester from college. This worked out very well for me. The day I turned eighteen, my new, real father drove hours to pick me up and I moved into his apartment. We started the adult adoption process and he's now my legal father. We've travelled through the world together, and I've learned about how and where he grew up, I've met his family, and even started learning his native language. He's helped me grow so much. I'm so unfair to him sometimes but he shows me so much grace and understanding.

We've had a sexual relationship on and off for months now (naturally we didn't end up just doing it once), but he's still fully my father, not my spouse. But he feels so guilty about it. He's taken a harder line this time and he says that we're stopping. I'm to sleep in my own bed, and we're not to have sex again. He's very upset about it, and blames himself entirely (even though I fully consented the whole time), and says that I would never be so torn up about it if he didn't have sex or Skype with me in the first place. He says he still love me wholly but this sort of activity is innappropriate, eapecially for a father and son.

He feels he has a moral imperative. Plus he's my dad and I should listen to him. But it hurts--so drat much. I feel like I'm losing such a significant part of him. I can't stop crying. My heart litterally aches. And when he talks to his old sexual partners, it makes me feel so bad (although he's not having sex with them anymore). I used to reassure myself with the thought that I had the sexual part of him myself now, not them, but now that's not true and I feel like tearing my hair out. But the fact is, I don't even WANT to have sex with him, if he feels so terribly about it.

And tommorow is loving Christmas.

Will I stop feeling this way eventually? Will it stop hurting so much? I gave my dad my virginitity--I know that doesn't hold a lot of significance for some people, but it does for me. I was saving it for someone I loved. I feel so freaking bad, guys.

TL;DR: Adoptive dad and I had a lot of sex. He feels guilty and wants to stop. I feel like I'm losing something precious.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 04:56

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Pick posted:

pick's thoughts: get over your loving ex. everyone. everyone get over your loving exes. they don't love you.

Yes she does, Pick! She just needed to focus on her schooling for a while. Now that she's done she should be calling me any day now.

Sure taking a while though.

Maybe she lost my number.

Yeah. That's it.

I should call her.

What a good idea, fruit. The best idea.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 04:57

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

My (26/f) boyfriend (35/m) of two years says things I don't really like hearing under the guise of being "logical."

quote:

Long, long story short...my boyfriend says things that I don't really like, and explains that it is fine to say because it's logical. I guess in the grand scheme of things, what he says isn't necessarily hurtful, but it's something I don't like hearing about. For example, he'll talk about how it's possible for him to fall in love with someone else, yet also talks about wanting to marry me.

Look, obviously he can fall in love with someone else. I'm not stupid, and I sure as hell can't see the future, but why would you say that to someone you supposedly want to spend the rest of your life with. He'll say poo poo about how he could die in a car crash tomorrow, or get cancer, and how he knows that I will move on as well. He'll talk about his past sexual experiences and when I say I don't want to hear about them, he asks if I want to believe that he hasn't been with anyone in the past.

I don't know. Logic aside, I thought it was about having tact. Logically, I could get hit by a car tonight or he could dump me in an hour and all of this will be moot, but honestly, this whole "logic defense" is annoying.

How do I get through to him? I try to get him to see things from my perspective by explaining a reverse situation, and he says that he "isn't worried about it" and doesn't "play into hypothetical situations because they wouldn't happen." I am EXHAUSTED.

tl;dr: Boyfriend says stupid poo poo that I don't want to think about and he says it's because he is logical.

Gotta give reddit credit this time they flat out called this out exactly as it is.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 04:59

Barudak: May 7, 2007

That womans routine to get her boyfriend to try moving a little sounds rigorous enough there should be an infomercial promoting it as a celebrity secret to lose weight.

If you are outdoorsy you need either an outdoorsy spouse or you need to marry the equivalent of an inn keeper who longs to be regaled with tales of your adventures far over the mountains while he maintains the homestead.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 05:01

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Pick posted:

I [29F] am very active and in good shape, while my boyfriend [29M] of 3.5 years is overweight with terrible habits. It's affecting my feelings towards him.

Every day is cheat day

so cheat

# ? Mar 10, 2017 05:03

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

fruit on the bottom posted:

Yes she does, Pick! She just needed to focus on her schooling for a while. Now that she's done she should be calling me any day now.

Sure taking a while though.

Maybe she lost my number.

Yeah. That's it.

I should call her.

What a good idea, fruit. The best idea.

If you don't ask you'll never know though. Maybe she wants you to call.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 05:05

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Had an ex driving slowly past my house six months after I moved. We were together around 2 1/2 months.
Y'all leave your exes alone, now.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 05:14

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Elsa posted:

If you don't ask you'll never know though. Maybe she wants you to call.

Hoo boy.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 05:16

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

those gay dad stories are :stare:

as hell in retrospect, i grabbed them randomly from "homosexual dad" to make the dad gay joke

:stare:

# ? Mar 10, 2017 05:18

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Pick posted:

those gay dad stories are as hell in retrospect, i grabbed them randomly from "homosexual dad" to make the dad gay joke

To be fair they are mostly "predator dad" than just "gay dad"

# ? Mar 10, 2017 05:20

Cling-Wrap Condom: Jul 23, 2015; I'm tryna get my peen touched, pants.

fruit on the bottom posted:

Hoo boy.

Go read the E/N breakup thread. Just read my posts there actually.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 05:21

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Cling-Wrap Condom posted:

Go read the E/N breakup thread. Just read my posts there actually.

Didn't see that one thanks for the heads up.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 05:22

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Oh wow thank you

# ? Mar 10, 2017 05:36

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

CharlestheHammer posted:

To be fair they are mostly "predator dad" than just "gay dad"

so many kids wished for a Predator dad and they didn't realize the importance of punctuation

# ? Mar 10, 2017 05:44

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

quote:

Me [18 M] and my adoptive father [36 M] have had a sexual relationship. He feels guilty and wants to stop. I feel like I'm losing something precious and irreplacable.

Don't gently caress your dad kids. Even if he is adopted.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 06:05

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Cling-Wrap Condom posted:

Go read the E/N breakup thread. Just read my posts there actually.

You guys know I'm doing a bit, right? I'm not going to call my ex.

I'm going to show up at her house with flowers and a boom box.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 06:07

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Pick posted:

pick's thoughts: get over your loving ex. everyone. everyone get over your loving exes. they don't love you.

Not me, I love you all

not in some hippy love-thy-neighbor way, though. it's dirty love.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 06:14

Cling-Wrap Condom: Jul 23, 2015; I'm tryna get my peen touched, pants.

fruit on the bottom posted:

You guys know I'm doing a bit, right? I'm not going to call my ex.

I'm going to show up at her house with flowers and a boom box.

THIS POST WAS IN POOR TASTE AND NOW IT IS GONE

# ? Mar 10, 2017 06:38

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

Pick posted:

Me [18 M] and my adoptive father [36 M] have had a sexual relationship. He feels guilty and wants to stop. I feel like I'm losing something precious and irreplacable.

We did it: we found the only thing worse than a big age gap.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 07:13

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Incoherence posted:

We did it: we found the only thing worse than a big age gap.

I almost got a chub to that one but then I checked the genders again.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 07:48

Adam Vegas: Apr 14, 2013

Dad gay, so...WHAT?

# ? Mar 10, 2017 07:54

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Pick posted:

Dad gays, so what?

I just wanted to fix something that was bothering me.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 08:20

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Don't gently caress your adopted stray dads, you don't know we're they've been (except inside you)

My girlfriend [25F] has a weird vendetta against our cat[2ish F]

quote:

u/thecatisnotalie
Hey Reddit,

Recently, I [24M] have noticed something really strange going on with my girlfriend and anything involving our cat..

We adopted this cat in October, she was a neighborhood stray, but was super sweet and would wait on the porch for us to come out in the morning, or be waiting for us to get home from work. So, we talked for a while, mutually decided she was pretty much already our pet, and eventually started giving her flea treatments, letting her in the house, etc.

Well, recently, my girlfriend has been very.. hostile with the cat. She is convinced the cat is constantly peeing on her things, like she shoes, backpack, shirts, blankets, etc. Even though the cat is not. She keeps asking me to smell her stuff because she's absolutely convinced the cat peed on it, and every time, the cat didn't. There's no pee smell, no stain, no wet spot.

My girlfriend has taken to screaming at the cat for things that cats just.. well, do. Like pushing around a pen/marker/anything that will roll on the floor. Not hurting anything, not in the way, just playing with something that was left out, and my girlfriend will lose her poo poo and start screaming at the cat.

Now, the reason I'm writing this post is because it's starting to get ridiculous. A couple days ago, my girlfriend left a spoon in the living room. We went out for the day, and when we came back, the spoon handle had been chewed up. I looked at it, and this spoon was clearly chewed on by our dog. The teeth were way too big to be the cat's, and the cat doesn't even chew on stuff. She's been known to scratch, but not chew. Anyway, so this spoon was very clearly messed up by the dog, and my girlfriend grabs the spoon, and shoves it in the cat's face, screaming at her about how she shouldn't chew on stuff.

When I told her it was the dog, she just kept saying it could've been either of them, even after I told her the teeth imprints on it were way too big to be the cat's.

So, Reddit, any advice? I keep trying to reason with her, but I'm sick of our cat getting scolded and screamed at when she hasn't done anything wrong. Any insight to why she's convinced the cat is the reason for everything wrong in the house, and how to get her to chill?

tl;dr girlfriend is out to get our cat, can't figure out why. She seems to just be making poo poo up to yell at the cat for. How can I get her to quit it?

# ? Mar 10, 2017 11:05

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

A happy ending on this one

My boyfriend [21M] hates my [20F] puppy.

quote:

u/HINAT4
I'm not joking. I took in a puppy through a kennel that found her at one month old, she was WAY too young to be separated from her mom. I love her dearly, I personally feel as if she came in my life at the right time.

We talked about it beforehand, a puppy was absolute agreed on. We just didn't buy the breed we wanted - the stray popped up AND WE BOTH AGREED TO ADOPT HER. The puppy was abandoned FYI.

I have a stressful job and raising a young puppy is also stressful but I don't resent her at all. I feel stressed out by my boyfriend's dislike of my her. She is three months old now and my boyfriend absolutely hates her.

She has anxiety issues and needs to be near me to not bark/freak out. She plays a little too rough with our cats and I think it started my boyfriend's hatred. Basically, she has a long way to go in terms of being trained and has bad social skills.

He just sprung it on me this morning that he doesn't want her and often makes comments about hating her, etc. He doesn't want ownership.

Basically, he said he will move out when my puppy gets old enough to jump on our bed (he says this is his breaking point). I have another dog and he doesn't mind/she sleeps on the bed with us. I plan on taking her to doggy daycare and also training sessions as soon as she is fixed, which I can't do until she is older than 4 months.

I'm tired of hearing him complain, I asked him to stop and he still continues. What is your opinion on this?

tl;dr: Boyfriend hates our puppy and I think it is ruining my relationship.

Update: Kept the puppy, dumped the boyfriend.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 11:13

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

quote:

Is it really that horrible of me to ask my GF (24F) of 2 years who just moved in with me (25M) to do some work around the house?

Been dating this girl for around 2 years, everything's great apart from the occasional little argument, nothing too crazy.

But this one got especially heated. She moved in a last weekend because she had a fight with her parents and decided to move out. I had no issues with letting her stay.

She doesn't have a job, so she's at home all day. The last 4 days I've been coming home from work and then she expects me to make something for us to eat or that we should go out/order. On top of this she doesn't lift a finger when it comes to cleaning.

Yesterday I had enough, I asked her what she does all day and why she can't make something for us to eat or clean up a little. To which she lost it, said she didn't want to be some stay at home wife and that it was my house so it was my duty to cook and maintain it (while she does nothing?). I just summarized a huge fight but I think you understand the point.

The tipping point was when she told me to sleep on the couch because she "didn't want to share a bed with me" IN MY loving HOUSE.

I got her bag, stuffed her clothes in it and threw the bag at her feet. Told her to get out and go back to her parents.

All day today she's been blowing up my phone, I haven't replied to anything, is it reasonable to break up with her over this? I'm no misogynist. I don't want a woman taking care of me, but isn't cleaning or tidying up at least a nice thing to do for the person that's letting you stay in their home for free. If a friend (not even a partner) did that for me, I'd cook for them everyday.

TLDR: Entitled gf wanted to stay at home all day and do nothing while I do all the work inside and outside the home.

TIL my girlfriend is an abusive little poo poo

# ? Mar 10, 2017 11:15

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 07:50

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Bubblyblubber posted:

Don't gently caress your adopted stray dads, you don't know we're they've been (except inside you)

My girlfriend [25F] has a weird vendetta against our cat[2ish F]

Either he's got the cat brain worms or she's got some kind of reverse cat brain worms.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 11:18

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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