Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

In fact there used to be a yearly GBS thread about going off to college, with memes like "leave your door open" and sage advice like "bring an old video game console people will love it". That hasn't happened in forever, where has the time gone?

Barudak posted:

Nah, Im in advertising. Dunno how I pinged study abroad.

Pick posted:

Advertising is cool and interesting though. (Not a joke.)

quote:

So I got into a relationship with Alan* 8 months ago, and before we became official he said "I'm a gamer, just so you know". Now I, being someone who only recently purchased a smart phone and uses mobile data/works wifi to browse reddit/do not a lot else initially didn't understand why he felt the need to mention it. Gaming, it's a hobby, everyone has hobbies, how different could gaming be?

The answer seems to be very.

We don't live together, in fact because we work opposite shifts/he lives at home with his parents so I don't want to go over too late/he won't come to mine (because I don't have the internet at home, though he has never explicitly said this he's dropped hints about me getting the expensive super speed package enough for me to think that's his biggest issue) we see each other 1-3 times a week, depending on his work pattern.
Which is fine. I get it. But given that he plays 6-7 hours of games every day, it's starting to get a little boring that whenever I go there he... plays games. Sometimes we'll watch a film he enjoys, with his parents, which is also getting old. That's all we do. The rare day he comes to mine we go for a walk, a museum, things that don't involve a screen and after an hour or two he'll start suggesting we go back to his. Where he'll eat, take me upstairs and .... he'll play games whilst I watch.

It's not even as if he's talking to me whilst he's gaming, he has his headset on, so I can't even hear the game sounds. I am, in essence, watching a grown man sit in a chair in his childhood bedroom playing a game whilst I sit there, on his bed, wondering if I should just go home. Which, if I suggest it because I'm bored/not sure what the point of me sitting there watching him ignore me for a game is, he gets upset about.

He wants to spend time with me, by ignoring me to play a game. I recently twigged that the reason he only calls me at a specific time, for 30 minutes, is because he's been gaming all afternoon. So he calls me in the 30 minutes he has before going to work. Which I initially thought was lovely, but now I know he has spent at least 6 hours on his game beforehand it's tarnished it a bit.

On the one hand, it's sweet he talks to me every night. On the other, I come after his games. His mother even told me, the first time I met her, that games come first with the men in their family. I laughed, because no one I know games.

I asked him if, in future, when I go around he could not play his games, so we could spend some actual time together. He said no, that he has always gamed and won't change that for anyone. I'm getting to the point where I keep wondering if I can stand always being second to games in this relationship, especially when I continually have to make the effort, and my reward is the back of my boyfriends body whilst he games. Unless he gets horny. Then we may have sex, but he's straight back to gaming.

He doesn't even want me to game. I've asked him if he'd like me to join him, and he doesn't. He just wants me to watch. All the time. No interaction, because he's speaking to his team mates or concentrating. Just watching.

Is asking for 1 evening and the weekend without the games really so unreasonable? I work full time, and I don't want to spend my off time with this person who says he likes being around me, watching him ignore me in favour of killing things on Dark Souls, or playing DOTA, or War Thunder, or Division, or X-Com, or basically paying attention to anything that isn't me.

*Not his real name.

tl;dr: Been with partner 8 months, he routinely plays 6-7 hours of online games a day, every day. Am I unreasonable in asking that when we're together he leave the games alone?

Sisal Two-Step posted:

Am I [28 F] being unreasonable with my partner [26 M] of 8 months and his gaming habits?Relationships

op's name is "secondtodarksouls"

zakharov posted:

What exactly is attractive about this dude? There is no way he's hot and his personality sucks.

Also [extreme old person voice] I don't understand how to any game or games could be fun or interesting enough to play for 6 to 7 hours every day

quote:

On the one hand, it's sweet he talks to me every night

areyoucontagious posted:

But this bubbly champagne-eggshell mix is so much more ME

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

where were the girls with this abysmally low standards when I was horny and desperate in highschool

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

where were the girls with this abysmally low standards when I was horny and desperate in highschool

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

where were the girls with this abysmally low standards when I was horny and desperate in highschool

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

They were always around. You were just too stupid to talk to them.

Pick posted:

Exactly. The phenomenon of super desperate clingy satellite girls is nothing new. but the boys don't see them... they only have eyes for Danielle...

quote:

he won't come to mine (because I don't have the internet at home, though he has never explicitly said this he's dropped hints about me getting the expensive super speed package enough for me to think that's his biggest issue)

Antivehicular posted:

"Sweetheart, I know you don't need or want home Internet for yourself, but if you just add a huge chunk to your utility bills, you won't have to always come over to my place and be ignored! You'll be able to have me over and be ignored for an evening right at home!"

I'm not even opposed to hanging out with a partner while you/they game, but this guy is really going the extra mile to ensure that his girlfriend can't accidentally have a good time or interact with him on any level. Gonna hazard a guess that his idea of "date night" is "I take bathroom breaks instead of pissing in a Gatorade bottle and pooping in a sock."

quote:

Unless he gets horny. Then we may have sex, but he's straight back to gaming.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

don't forget this

chumbler posted:

With the new Nintendo Switch he won't have to stop gaming to have sex!

feedmegin posted:

ArbitraryC posted:

he'll be like that guy watching hot twitch girls when he's banging the gf except this guy will be playing critically acclaimed breath of the wild.

Antivehicular posted:

Using his finely-honed Dark Souls reflexes, he ejaculates in a single forceful thrust, then tucks into a roll to retreat to his desk chair

Antivehicular posted:

Using his finely-honed Dark Souls reflexes, he ejaculates in a single forceful thrust, then tucks into a roll to retreat to his desk chair

quote:

My boyfriend spreads my legs and yells, "HELLOO", and after he finishes he throws his arms up in a V and yells, "VERY GOOD!" Is he broken??

quote:

I'm 22 f, he's 30; relationship length: 1 month. We met when we were both on vacation and hit it off before I left for home. It turns out we only lived 2 hours away from each other and continued texting each other quite frequently. He seems to be really, really, really into me, which feels good, but the feelings are stronger than I'd expect having known him such a short time. About a month later, he returns home and drives up to see me. Everything goes well and we get along great.
However, there are a couple things I notice about him that are odd. He is the type of person that always needs a story to tell; he has traveled a lot in his life and has a lot of cool experiences that he loves to talk about, but it seems like he is often exaggerating. But I figure I will give him the benefit of the doubt though unless I can catch him outright in a lie, no matter how extravagant his claims are. Was his ex-wife really a Victoria's Secret model? Did he really come up with an innovative engineering idea and sell it for ~$400,000? Did he really manage to get a master's degree while working "14 hour night shifts" at an engineering company? Did he really surf professionally? All these things I do not know but am unable to call him out on. Also, he claims to have a Master's degree in Engineering, but I am doubting this; his spelling isn't very good, his Facebook education hasn't been updated to reveal this (only says attended community college), and he doesn't have any knowledge of math. I've taken university calculus I and II so I have a decent understanding of math, but he changes the subject when I bring up anything math related. Furthermore, he does not dress like someone his age usually does. I do not have a problem with his style, which consists of skate shoes, semi-loose jeans/cargo shorts/board shorts, and a surf/skate brand t-shirt, but it isn't how most 30 year old men dress. Also, with a degree in mechanical engineering, why did he work on the floor constructing parts? I would expect him to work in an office for a firm, but then again, I am not well-knowledged in that area so I cannot make a remark.
Before he heads home at the end of the weekend, I invite him up in advance for the next weekend. Over the few days before then, we continue to text, sending both cutesy and dirty messages. Friday rolls around and he comes up. One thing I want to mention is that there was a large dent on my very beloved car's front fender, so he offered to fix it. He did, as well, attend to other maintenance under the hood. This saved me $500 for the fender, which he did an excellent job on, and he also installed a new radiator for me, which saved me another ~$100 in labor, as well as a few other small things under the hood to make my car perform better. This was very thoughtful and selfless and I thanked him enthusiastically for it. He was a total sweetheart and didn't ask anything in return so I supplied him with all the beer he wanted and took him out for a nice dinner.
Everything is going great until one night he gets a call from his ex-girlfriend. Now this is a tricky situation because he owns a house in another state, and is having the ex-girlfriend look over it, who he used to live with. He does not pick up the phone, but he does play the message back, on speaker. I am not sure why, I did not ask him to do this. The message is very unsettling; she starts the message with "hey Sweetie" and is extremely bubbly telling him about her day and leaving a message a girlfriend might leave to a boyfriend. Naturally I am confused as to why she does this, this is in no way normal behavior for split couples, regardless of them being in contact for business reasons. He brushes it off and claims her personality is just that way. I remain unconvinced, and when he is in the shower, I am ashamed to admit I look through his texts. I find him sending her "I love you's" and "You're beautiful" and "I want to cuddle up with you" etc. I do not even look through all of them because I am so upset I start shaking. These are all sent on the same days he was texting me how much fun he had with me, how much he liked me, etc. I pack up all his stuff and when he gets out of the shower I tell him to leave.
This is when it gets weird. He breaks down in tears and gets on the floor on his knees begging me to stay. He claims that those were just words to get her to give him his rent check and they're meaningless. I call BS and ask him if he is in a long-distance relationship and he denies it. To try and make things right, he calls her and leaves a message telling her he never wants to talk to her again and to please never call him, and un-friends her on Facebook. I (stupidly?) believe him and let him stay. I am very hurt about this but I truly like him and want to give a second chance. Keep in mind, the last weekend he had already asked if I would be his girlfriend. He has been married before (9 year marriage from when he was 20) and says he wants nothing more than to be a good man to a girl. Indeed, he is an excellent lover and strikes me as a very sweet guy. He also speaks very negatively about the women of his past two relationships.
At ~3 am that night I see he is on Facebook sending a message to the ex-gf. I am too tired at this time to confront him about it. In the morning he says he was just telling her to send the last rent check to him. I won't go into the details, but he changes his story about the ex-gf when I catch him in a contradiction. However, I eventually tire of talking about it and try my best to move on at this point and we continue to have a nice week. To not make this too excessively long, I'll quickly point out a few other things about him that seem unusual. He seems to have a need to always be in a relationship. He smokes. A lot. He is also a heavy drinker. One night when I came home from class, he was clearly drunk. I had a bottle of expensive vodka that was a gift and, since I rarely drink, it was unused. He had drunk a significant portion of it. He grabbed me on my way in and, with loud music on, insisted on dancing with me around my room. He also indulges in food, but has a decent enough metabolism and is only on the high end of average for his height and weight.
He says he has never truly been in love before, but told me he loved me before he left, which I did not return. He also said when I graduate school he will bring me a ring to graduation (at one point he said he wanted children by age 33). Both of us car enthusiasts, he says he will build me a performance car. He had already made some calls and given some thought to it one day when I returned from class, and has built cars before, so I am tempted to believe this almost too-good-to-be-true promise. This is all very romantic but also overwhelming. He has an enormous sexual appetite, which is perhaps normal. He constantly tells me how much he loves my body. He constantly says he loves my long hair, height, and slim waist, one time remarking that women his age do not look like me and referred to me as a "new toy", but meant it in a flattering way, I think. He has been with many women, I have only slept with 2 boyfriends prior to him. He likes our age gap a lot.
I don't know what is going on with this guy. Sometimes he seems to be a functioning insane person. He is narcissistic and seems to be histrionic too but I don't want to play the arm-chair psychologist. His dad abused him when he was growing up, but the severity of it I am unsure. Sorry this was super long, but I have no one to ask advice about other than Reddit. My mom likes him because he is extremely charismatic and comes from a very wealthy family but I don't know how to sum him up. Does he sound crazy, or is he just...eccentric? (For movie buffs, if you have seen The Talented Mr. Ripley, he is a lot like Jude Law's character.) Thanks for reading and please share any thoughts.
tl;dr Guy caught cheating in pseudo-relationship, apologizes, but shows signs of craziness and extreme early commitment.

quote:

I stopped reading after "relationship length: 1 month"
Sorry to be blunt, but anyone that causes you to write such a long message after 30 days, is not worth it. You are better than wasting your time on drama from some crazy dude you just met. Get out NOW girlfriend, it will only get worse!

food court bailiff posted:

I know it's hundreds of pages back, but does anyone have a link handy to the one from the title?

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3792330&pagenumber=368&perpage=40#post468129668

quote:

From the start I never liked my roomie's girlfriend and have been doing my best to tolerate her, but I'm at my end. She wasn't awful to begin with, just socially awkward, selfish and uncomfortable to be around. We've all known people like this, I wouldn't be her friend but I don't fault my roomie.

Then she started staying over more. It was little things at first, the passive-aggressiveness towards my girlfriend and 'accidentally' throwing away our alcohol. Then it progressed into more frustrating things, like how she abused our open pantry policy. We used to share food, because my roommate is considerate and knows how to pace himself. She has no control over food, 4-5 meals a day and constant snacking in between. It wouldn't have been a problem if she didn't eat all my food without any consideration. She can't eat something without eating ALL of it.

For example, I baked a cake for my anniversary last week. I baked it in the morning before work because I wanted to surprise my gf that night. I come back and the cake is gone, cake plate sitting in the sink. I ask my roomies gf about it because she was the only one in the house and she says she started eating and "all of a sudden" the cake was just gone. I, of course, wasn't very nice about this and verbally cut her down, which I admit wasn't very cool.

The next day I confronted my roomie and told him that the open pantry is no longer happening and rearranged the pantry so we each had our half. It turned into a huge fight, saying I'm fat shaming his gf, that she can't control herself around food, and she can't afford food because she's unemployed. I told him that wasn't my responsibility to feed her and that I've probably bought her more food than my own gf, that if she has such a problem she needs to go to the doctor, and this is less about her habits than her disrespecting me and my gf.

So a week has gone by and she is still taking my food. I'm loving done with her. I've itemized all the things that have gone missing over the past week because I knew she would do this and plan on hitting her with a bill, including for the cake. I want to tell them they don't have to pay as long as she never comes back, but what happens when she pays the bill and feels entitled to being back?

He fully believes her behavior is part of some undiagnosed condition and she can't help it, and it's not a result of decisions she is actively making. How can I make him respect my position when he won't stop seeing her as the victim in this? I don't care whether or not they still date, but she's consistently stealing from me and can't be allowed back in the apartment. We share our lease equally and I can't afford to break out of it early. Do I have any rights to legally ban her from the apartment if he insists she still comes over?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

How can I [23M] tell my roommate [28M] of 2 years his gluttonous girlfriend [22F] is no longer welcome in our apartment?

Nazzadan posted:

Okay, don't read this unless you actually want to, just read the bold and then skip to the top comment I'll post

help][long] Need thoughts on this relationship, please!

quote:

My boyfriend spreads my legs and yells, "HELLOO", and after he finishes he throws his arms up in a V and yells, "VERY GOOD!" Is he broken??

quote:

she says she started eating and "all of a sudden" the cake was just gone

Nazzadan posted:

Okay, don't read this unless you actually want to, just read the bold and then skip to the top comment I'll post

help][long] Need thoughts on this relationship, please!

quote:

He constantly tells me how much he loves my body. He constantly says he loves my long hair, height, and slim waist, one time remarking that women his age do not look like me and referred to me as a "new toy", but meant it in a flattering way, I think. He has been with many women, I have only slept with 2 boyfriends prior to him. He likes our age gap a lot.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

For example, I baked a cake for my anniversary last week. I baked it in the morning before work because I wanted to surprise my gf that night. I come back and the cake is gone, cake plate sitting in the sink. I ask my roomies gf about it because she was the only one in the house and she says she started eating and "all of a sudden" the cake was just gone. I, of course, wasn't very nice about this and verbally cut her down, which I admit wasn't very cool.

chumbler posted:

If warning signs that big need to be taught, I don't think they're going to be learned.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

How can I [23M] tell my roommate [28M] of 2 years his gluttonous girlfriend [22F] is no longer welcome in our apartment?

ArbitraryC posted:

This may be exceptionally petty but most apartment leases have overly strict rules on guests spending the night that are usually ignored because basically anyone with a bf/gf is gonna break em by accident, but he might be able to get the landlord involved to at least limit her access to their place this way.