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Pennywise the Frown posted:The urge was going on and off last night. One thing that actually helped was playing DCS World (a combat flight sim) with some goons last night. But right when we stopped the urge rushed back and I got beer immediately. Staying occupied is certainly helpful but sometimes it's difficult when you're really depressed and can't even do things that you enjoy. This is quite the conundrum and something I need to figure out. Games are good - maybe try to find something single-player that lends itself to time-sinking? I have an embarrassing amount of hours in Fallout 4, for instance, although I know that isn't for everyone. Are you in a place you can go outside? It might sound facile, but sometimes just being outside and walking around, day or night, and looking at the sky were helpful for me. When I was really depressed my gaze rarely went above the horizon, and if I could make myself look up and be aware of my surroundings it helped. Your mileage might vary, of course.
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Mar 11, 2017 23:34
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Walks are great, but if you're anywhere near shops you should leave your cash/cards at home!
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Mar 11, 2017 23:35
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Pennywise the Frown posted:The urge was going on and off last night. One thing that actually helped was playing DCS World (a combat flight sim) with some goons last night. But right when we stopped the urge rushed back and I got beer immediately. Staying occupied is certainly helpful but sometimes it's difficult when you're really depressed and can't even do things that you enjoy. This is quite the conundrum and something I need to figure out. One of the best things I got out of getting clean (almost 16 years now) was the rediscovery of my old hobbies. During my active addiction, my attentions were focused more and more onto the getting and using of my drugs, to the exclusion of almost everything else. I used to get such pleasure from record collecting, but that fell by the wayside early on, as my intake of opioids skyrocketed. Returning to it has been such fun, and it even brought my 15 minutes of fame when I bought a group of records in a blind auction 3 years ago. One of them turned out to contain music of historic importance by a major entertainer, which had been thought lost for over 60 years. When I got interviewed by an online magazine and paid by a London record company to lease the recording, that brought me a high I never could've had when i was eating pain pills like popcorn. Try going back to back to the things that used to bring you pleasure before your drinking became a problem. You never know where your rediscovered hobbies might take you. Collecting has become my most effective antidepressant, and I recommend it highly. Keep talking about how you feel, and hang in there. King Possum III fucked around with this message at 23:51 on Mar 11, 2017 |
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Mar 11, 2017 23:48
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^^^ That's a pretty neat story! One thing that really complicates everything is the bipolar. I have a tendency of skyrocketing and doing very stupid things that sounds great at the time until I ultimately crash and fail. Things like, "Oh poo poo, I should join the Marine Corps!", or "Hey, let's be a pilot, EMT, Firefighter!", "Let just pack some poo poo into my car and move across the country to Seattle!". Nothing could ever go wrong with any of these life changing decisions! I failed at everything once the mania subsides and the depression takes over. I see a therapist weekly and one thing we're starting to keep an eye on is not jumping into anything new or anything that has a high potential for a crashing failure. In December when I didn't drink for a month I joined Team Rubicon which is a vet disaster response organization. Luckily that one was a good idea because I only have to put in what I can when I can. I also joined a group called the Kenosha Unity Coalition that focuses on local crime, drug abuse, rapid response, etc. The good part is I'm well spoken so people may think I have some sort of credibility, but I have no credentials. I came into a meeting with my mohawk at the time and had an open discussion with the Chief of Police and the DA among other people. Naturally since I was flying high I was very vocal. The Chief probably didn't like me so much since I brought up failures and stuff, but the DA loved me for the same reason. Then, like clockwork, I found myself way in over my head and crashed. I'm going on a tangent, but I'm trying to work with my therapist to not start anything new until we get a handle on things. Whenever I pick up a new hobby, temporarily of course, I can spend hundreds or thousands of dollars and then get bored super quick and stop. Hell, I might play 3 or 4 different games within a few hours or so because I get bored and have zero motivation even to play a god drat computer game. I'm learning that hypomania/mania can be just as damaging as depression. I don't know what I'm even going on about right now. Basically, there is a balance I need to find and my brain literally wants to do the opposite. Everything sucks.
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Mar 12, 2017 00:32
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I have some familiarity with bipolar, and was diagnosed with it myself for years (like I said earlier, my psychiatric history is weird). I certainly can sympathize with that sense of being your own worst enemy. Are your prescriber and therapist in good contact, or the same person? I don't know if it is of any help, but I just wanted to say that I remember feeling like I was in the midst of a raging whirlwind, and that things did eventually settle out.
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Mar 12, 2017 00:51
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Pennywise the Frown posted:^^^ That's a pretty neat story! Maybe eat some batteries? They might have lithium in them
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Mar 12, 2017 00:53
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The more goons talk about bipolar the more I worry that I have the bipolar. Is it a thing that comes on slowly or all at once? If it's all at once I think I'm safe.
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Mar 12, 2017 00:55
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CaptainSarcastic posted:I have some familiarity with bipolar, and was diagnosed with it myself for years (like I said earlier, my psychiatric history is weird). I certainly can sympathize with that sense of being your own worst enemy. Are your prescriber and therapist in good contact, or the same person? I don't know if it is of any help, but I just wanted to say that I remember feeling like I was in the midst of a raging whirlwind, and that things did eventually settle out. I see a therapist weekly and my psychiatrist every 4-6 weeks. I see her on Monday actually. 500 good dogs posted:Maybe eat some batteries? They might have lithium in them lol. I used to be on lithium..... but uh..... they won't put me on it anymore since maybe 3 years ago I took 7 times the lethal dose and somehow made it. I can see why they are reluctant to look at that one again. edit: I really shouldn't be posting this stuff. I guess I just don't really care atm. Hopefully I don't regret it later on.
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Mar 12, 2017 00:58
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Apropos of nothing, I took lithium capsules for years, and one time I missed a dose or two and thought "Hey, maybe if I snort some it will get my blood levels back up faster" and cracked a capsule open. I then proceeded to do a line of lithium carbonate, and immediately regretted it. A lot. Holy hell did that poo poo burn.
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Mar 12, 2017 01:09
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I'm sober
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Mar 12, 2017 01:10
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dad gay. so what posted:I'm sober 
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Mar 12, 2017 01:34
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dad gay. so what posted:I'm sober You're lying.
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Mar 12, 2017 01:38
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VendaGoat posted:You're lying. 82 days 
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Mar 12, 2017 01:44
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dad gay. so what posted:82 days Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, He's clearly lying. His post history is my only evidence.
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Mar 12, 2017 01:46
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VendaGoat posted:Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, He's clearly lying. His post history is my only evidence. you drained that entire 5 gallons of concentrated Luminol and that's the best you've got?
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Mar 12, 2017 02:05
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Hardawn posted:you drained that entire 5 gallons of concentrated Luminol and that's the best you've got? That was for, uh, "other" purposes.
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Mar 12, 2017 02:06
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dad gay. so what posted:82 days Hell yeah. Ready to suck your god drat balls at any time.
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Mar 12, 2017 03:01
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how you doing sober goons
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Mar 12, 2017 05:59
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Tell yourself you can drink tomorrow. Free and clear with no guilt - if you pass on today, you award yourself a Get Out of Guilt Free card. Just don't drink today. The drink will be there tomorrow. You can have it, if you want it, tomorrow morning. But not tonight. You can do this poo poo. And you can do it without magic or ghosts or gods.
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Mar 12, 2017 12:55
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500 good dogs posted:how you doing sober goons i use the 12 steps because its the only way that works for me after 25 years of intense research
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Mar 12, 2017 12:58
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Thursday Next posted:Tell yourself you can drink tomorrow. Free and clear with no guilt - if you pass on today, you award yourself a Get Out of Guilt Free card. Just don't drink today. The drink will be there tomorrow. You can have it, if you want it, tomorrow morning. But not tonight. haha yeah listen to this guy he knows whats up lol
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Mar 12, 2017 12:59
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i think there should be a recovery forum here. it could be for all addictions. the overeaters alone would pay for the entire forum. i can be in charge and i will do this for a small salary.
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Mar 12, 2017 13:05
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dad gay. so what posted:i think there should be a recovery forum here. it could be for all addictions. the overeaters alone would pay for the entire forum. i can be in charge and i will do this for a small salary. thats very sweet of you to do it for a smile and a handshake
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Mar 12, 2017 13:19
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Today I have a family thing in about an hour. They are all Irish and drinking is a big thing and lot of us drink too much but no one really has a problem. Well, my aunt died from alcoholism. I have no intention of drinking today.
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Mar 12, 2017 18:37
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Pennywise the Frown posted:Today I have a family thing in about an hour. They are all Irish and drinking is a big thing and lot of us drink too much but no one really has a problem. Well, my aunt died from alcoholism. intention has nothing to do with it numbnuts!
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Mar 12, 2017 20:00
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Pennywise the Frown posted:Today I have a family thing in about an hour. They are all Irish and drinking is a big thing and lot of us drink too much but no one really has a problem. Well, my aunt died from alcoholism. Oh why?
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Mar 12, 2017 20:37
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Whether or not you take a drink is entirely up to you, Pennywise. If you keep a glass of soda (or whatever) in your hand, people won't keep offering you drinks. So unless your relatives put a funnel in your mouth and force booze down your throat, you can get through this sober. I'm typing this with my left hand due to fracturing my right humerus last week. I wouldn't go to this much trouble to post if I thought you were a lost cause. You can do this if you believe in yourself.
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Mar 12, 2017 20:51
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I think we should share inspirational quotes
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Mar 12, 2017 20:55
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Im gay - jesus
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Mar 12, 2017 21:07
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"eat me" -Anonymous
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Mar 12, 2017 21:13
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I have more beer in my fridge but after that no more!!!
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Mar 12, 2017 21:13
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I'm just gonna try to drink them quickly 
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Mar 12, 2017 21:15
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pennywise my fellow clown posting aquaintence, i believe that you're gonna loving own sobriety as long as you keep trying your damndest. and if you dont i will hunt you down and skin you alive and wear your ethanol saturated hide as a cloak as i begin chanting dead languages over your screaming body, experiencing a terrible agony so severe it prevents you from blacking out, leaking blood at an alarming rate as rocks and debris are lodged into your bare musculature and I start the process to cleanse your soul, essentially forcing your soul through all of the suffering you were bound to experience drawn out over thousands of years in the void in a matter of minutes through forbidden incantations taught to me by silhouettes in white hallways where the concept of a concept breaks down entirely, before i add it to my collection of once tainted, now purified souls. upon collection of the 7th soul aquired from someone who is tainted with the 7th deadly sin, my art will finally be perfect. i will consume the pure occult energy from your redeemed souls, ascend to my least true and most terrible form and while in great agony caused by keeping my soul from being shredded into ribbons by simply existing in my new crime against existence, I will tear a hole from this plane of reality to the next and demonstrate to YHWH that there is always a bigger fish. so don't gently caress up. 
SpaceClown fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Mar 12, 2017 |
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Mar 12, 2017 22:12
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SpaceClown posted:pennywise my fellow clown posting aquaintence, 
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Mar 12, 2017 22:53
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Well i guess we're gonna be in a war soon and environment going crazy. Just have fun and don't have children
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Mar 12, 2017 23:04
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TheSpamalope posted:Well i guess we're gonna be in a war soon and environment going crazy. Just have fun and don't have children gently caress you dad! I'll have as many children as I want!
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Mar 12, 2017 23:05
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VendaGoat posted:gently caress you dad! I'll have as many children as I want! *looks behind him all confused* 
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Mar 12, 2017 23:06
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King Possum III posted:Whether or not you take a drink is entirely up to you, Pennywise. If you keep a glass of soda (or whatever) in your hand, people won't keep offering you drinks. So unless your relatives put a funnel in your mouth and force booze down your throat, you can get through this sober.  That's what I did btw. I just had a diet soda in front of me the whole time. SpaceClown posted:pennywise my fellow clown posting aquaintence,  oohh.... ohhh..... ok
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Mar 12, 2017 23:13
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Pennywise the Frown posted:
great job idiot!
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Mar 12, 2017 23:15
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dad gay. so what posted:great job idiot! Thanks moron!
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Mar 12, 2017 23:23
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