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Dunning Krugerrand posted:How I ruined my marriage, the trilogy The best part of this is that the dude installed Tinder even before the separation and then started dating immediately after, even while posting about I WANT TO BE A FAMILYYYYYY. Five gets you ten that he was cheating or planning it even before this all went down and that's why he got so fixated on his wife's imaginary potential infidelity.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 00:05 |
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# ? May 31, 2024 01:45 |
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Bubblyblubber posted:Hubby geld, so what? There was an update to this one, which I'm posting for basically one reason. quote:UPDATE: My 28F husband 28M have been seeing a fertility doc to conceive-- just discovered that he had a vasectomy while we were trying. I am about to freak out.Updates (Most of her responses in the comments are to people criticizing her for wanting a baby in the first place.)
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 00:54 |
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Splicer posted:...I'm genuinely wondering if he divorced his wife based on something like this. oh quote:4. When you look into this baby's eye's what do you see.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 00:59 |
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Antivehicular posted:The best part of this is that the dude installed Tinder even before the separation and then started dating immediately after, even while posting about I WANT TO BE A FAMILYYYYYY. Five gets you ten that he was cheating or planning it even before this all went down and that's why he got so fixated on his wife's imaginary potential infidelity. That is always behind the hey honey I'm stopping at the gorcery store on the way home. Want anything? OH NICE EXCUSE ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 01:01 |
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Elsa posted:That is always behind the hey honey I'm stopping at the gorcery store on the way home. Want anything? Yeah, it's a tale as old as time but it's still "classy"
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 01:02 |
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PleasingFungus posted:There was an update to this one, which I'm posting for basically one reason. What he did was wrong. The story about the reversal progress taking another year sounds like another lie. But is there a chance she places way too much priority on having a baby and that caused her to overlook a lot of other poo poo. It just seems suspicious how her motivation is singularly, explicitly motherhood. Does she need a man for that?
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 01:05 |
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Elsa posted:What he did was wrong. The story about the reversal progress taking another year sounds like another lie. But is there a chance she places way too much priority on having a baby and that caused her to overlook a lot of other poo poo. It just seems suspicious how her motivation is singularly, explicitly motherhood. Does she need a man for that? Lots of people have parenthood as a life goal, and it seems kind of crazy to yell at a 28-year-old married woman for wanting to be a mother? It's not like she's 15 (Insert lengthy rant here here about how women are constantly judged for their choices about motherhood, whatever those choices happen to be, that I don't really have the energy to write right now) EDIT: Also if she'd pushed it off another year or two, people would be yelling at her that her eggs were ruined and how dare she have her inevitable hyper-Downs explosive-autist flipper babby
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 01:10 |
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Here's a doozy before I close my tabs and go to bed. Sent here from r/relationships- My ex's wife catfished me and has been stalking my life. Need advice. (self.legaladvice) quote:Updated Info: Location: (PA, USA)
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 02:56 |
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Antivehicular posted:Lots of people have parenthood as a life goal, and it seems kind of crazy to yell at a 28-year-old married woman for wanting to be a mother? It's not like she's 15 I think the sex-without-kids years are kind of really really fun, and while I have those long long term goals of turning out normal, children NOW as a stated desire up front is just. Stuffy. Is this a biological drive that women feel, like men have that really annoying motivation to want sex? Does their body tell them specifically "we want a baby." I knew a woman who said children and staying at home as a mom was a very important ideal for her. She's one of the most educated, kind, cute, and motivated women I've ever known. She was making an effort to spend time with me and I saw my life flash before my eyes with her in it, every time I saw her. But it scared the poo poo out of me and I stopped trying to spend time with her. We were around each other for a mutual activity so I didn't just pull the plug or anything like that. It's just that as much as she made me think this was it, I knew I would be going through with something I wasn't ready for. And we spent a lot of time and effort around each other so as far as pre-dating goes that was as solid as it gets. If a woman mentioned those things to me any sooner I'd feel I was just being plugged in to some American Dream plan that didn't necessarily involve me. So if this was something she is laying on her OKCupid matches there's a reasonable expectation she's going to end up meeting a guy who will lead her on for the sex. Sounds like she'd be willing to do anything for a man who agrees to her plan. But to sort of qualify this, I'm drat near still a child myself and I have no business looking after another human bean sprout.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:00 |
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Dunning Krugerrand posted:Here's a doozy before I close my tabs and go to bed. Woaaaah. What gets me most about this is how calmly the ex's wife sat down and explained her entire master plan to the OP; I have this amazing mental image of her just chilling sitting there talking about how she just NEEDED to find out if her husband still had feelings for a girl he dated over a decade ago...
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:10 |
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Dunning Krugerrand posted:Me [35 M] with my wife [29F] of five years, wants a divorce after I requested a paternity test. People are lovely and no one deserves to get stuck in that situation just for being a good trusting partner.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:13 |
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Why would you talk to someone for months over a dating service and be "falling in love" with them before meeting up for coffee. Something doesn't add up
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:15 |
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ArbitraryC posted:This guy is clearly an rear end in a top hat and deserves to get divorced but the stats are actually pretty surprising with how common that kind of betrayal is and I think in an ideal world it would be either automatically done by the hospital or voluntarily offered by the mom just so everyone involved had as much reassurance as the mom gets by default. To be clear I would never ask for a test or advocate anyone else would unless they just wanna burn their relationship to the ground (or already suspect cheating) but it honestly doesn't seem that unreasonable for one to be performed when you consider that it's not some fraction of a percent thing but relatively common even among people who don't even sorta suspect any infidelity. Number one reason not to do it. It kinda fucks up the life of an innocent person who can't object or represent themselves.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:17 |
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Can't you just hold your loving tongue and pluck a hair from the kid and send it off
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:19 |
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ArbitraryC posted:This guy is clearly an rear end in a top hat and deserves to get divorced but the stats are actually pretty surprising with how common that kind of betrayal is and I think in an ideal world it would be either automatically done by the hospital or voluntarily offered by the mom just so everyone involved had as much reassurance as the mom gets by default. To be clear I would never ask for a test or advocate anyone else would unless they just wanna burn their relationship to the ground (or already suspect cheating) but it honestly doesn't seem that unreasonable for one to be performed when you consider that it's not some fraction of a percent thing but relatively common even among people who don't even sorta suspect any infidelity. Source your quotes please
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:21 |
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ArbitraryC posted:This guy is clearly an rear end in a top hat and deserves to get divorced but the stats are actually pretty surprising with how common that kind of betrayal is and I think in an ideal world it would be either automatically done by the hospital or voluntarily offered by the mom just so everyone involved had as much reassurance as the mom gets by default. To be clear I would never ask for a test or advocate anyone else would unless they just wanna burn their relationship to the ground (or already suspect cheating) but it honestly doesn't seem that unreasonable for one to be performed when you consider that it's not some fraction of a percent thing but relatively common even among people who don't even sorta suspect any infidelity. It definitely does happen relatively often, but not quite as much as it was inferred from earlier research. Fathered by the Mailman? It’s Mostly an Urban Legend
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:22 |
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Hey honey, there's this geneology site that tells you your genetic makeup by racial percentage. We should try this as a family!
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:22 |
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Hughlander posted:Number one reason not to do it. It kinda fucks up the life of an innocent person who can't object or represent themselves. Yeah the reason as it is right now is because we don't have adequate social services so it's better to stick the baby with a "dad" against his consent than not, but ideally we'd have safety nets for that, child would be provided for by taxpayers, and not sorta ruin a dude's life over someone else's mistakes. Like I'm just talking in a general sense of a future that'd be better for everyone.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:24 |
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The kid would be provided for by child support from their dad, and nurtured by the mom, unless they put it up for adoption. Like in any other case of a dude knocking up a girl and bouncing. edit: Also lmao if you don't consider coercing a man to raise another man's child for 18 years as ruining his life. Psycho Society fucked around with this message at 03:29 on Mar 13, 2017 |
# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:26 |
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ArbitraryC posted:Yeah the reason as it is right now is because we don't have adequate social services so it's better to stick the baby with a "dad" against his consent than not, but ideally we'd have safety nets for that, child would be provided for by taxpayers, and not sorta ruin a dude's life over someone else's mistakes. Like I'm just talking in a general sense of a future that'd be better for everyone. Oh no, the loving stable nuclear family that I desired and received was not built solely from my own genetic material TRULY THIS IS A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH Were you also silently rooting for the guy who wanted to humiliate his fiancee in front of his friends to prove he wasn't some lame beta for raising her kid from a previous marriage?
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:28 |
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I'm going to have kids with my wife, but I don't trust her enough to assume she's not cheating on me. This will be a healthy relationship.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:30 |
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Straight White Shark posted:Oh no, the loving stable nuclear family that I desired and received was not built solely from my own genetic material TRULY THIS IS A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH No I just think it should be a consensual choice. Fwiw i think adoption is a very noble and worthwhile thing and would never think less of a man or women that raised a child that wasn't their own, I just strongly believe it should be a voluntary choice.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:30 |
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Elsa posted:Can't you just hold your loving tongue and pluck a hair from the kid and send it off Sounds like that's what he did and the results were incorrect, heh. I'm guessing it wasn't a legit paternity test because he had to sneak around trying to do it and is also clearly a complete dumbass
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:35 |
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Straight White Shark if you want someone to come inside your girlfriend that badly I'm sure she won't mind working something out.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:36 |
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so like, what's the rate of false positives on paternity tests, and how does that rate compare to the actual rate of Your Wife Was Cheating The Baby Isn't Yours e: like over the entire population of everyone who ever has children
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:38 |
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ArbitraryC posted:No I just think it should be a consensual choice. Fwiw i think adoption is a very noble and worthwhile thing and would never think less of a man or women that raised a child that wasn't their own, I just strongly believe it should be a voluntary choice. I agree, but let's compare two guys in a scenario where their wife cheated on them while trying for a kid, had a successful pregnancy, and intends to stick with their partner--one of them (let's call him A) was the father of their kid, the other (B) wasn't. Both of them are in a lovely situation because their partner cheated behind their back, but I think it's silly to talk about B's life being "ruined" in a way that A's is not by virtue of the paternity of their kid.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:38 |
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In the future babies likely will be tested genetically directly after birth, for health reasons. I just can't really imagine having a baby and not knowing if it's mine. But in that case, perhaps a discrete genetic paternity test could be offered for those who think it's necessary? I'm honestly not sure how I feel about all that
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:39 |
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If you're just looking at the rate of paternity tests that show that the baby has someone else as the father, that's of the number of people who chose to take paternity tests. If that's in the single digits then drat lol
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:40 |
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You guys keep saying "relatively often" but you haven't said how common it is to be raising someone else's kid. 1 per 1000? 1 per 100? I kind of doubt it is very common in the cases where you are already married to someone and are having a baby. If you aren't married or aren't exclusive then caveat emptor.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:43 |
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InediblePenguin posted:so like, what's the rate of false positives on paternity tests, and how does that rate compare to the actual rate of Your Wife Was Cheating The Baby Isn't Yours For the latter case I've seen numbers as high as 1/10 and as low as 1/100. I think the more rigorous studies say it's around 2% or 1/50. And this is explicitly for fathers who have no idea, they did everything right, trusted their partners, raised the kids, etc, it just seems senseless for something that's such a simple test that's only really barred by social conventions. That's why imo the best solution is to take it out of the environment where it's an obviously loaded request and just treat it as a right to verified paternity.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:43 |
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ArbitraryC posted:Yeah the reason as it is right now is because we don't have adequate social services so it's better to stick the baby with a "dad" against his consent than not, but ideally we'd have safety nets for that, child would be provided for by taxpayers, and not sorta ruin a dude's life over someone else's mistakes. Like I'm just talking in a general sense of a future that'd be better for everyone. I guess informed consent isn't so important if you're a dude.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:45 |
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One in a hundred. Not frequent. That is pretty often considering like, all the people in your town though.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:45 |
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Pick posted:If you're just looking at the rate of paternity tests that show that the baby has someone else as the father, that's of the number of people who chose to take paternity tests. If that's in the single digits then drat lol
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:46 |
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There's a better source, bone narrow compatibility tests. I'll try to find a link
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:48 |
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Psycho Society posted:It definitely does happen relatively often, but not quite as much as it was inferred from earlier research. quote:Beverly I. Strassmann, a University of Michigan anthropologist who gathered the data on paternity rates in Mali, agreed that widespread cuckoldry “was an urban legend. It seemed to have a life of its own.” That's pretty funny. Because cuckoldry is largely a myth male sperm don't actually have to compete with other male sperm. Because of that the modern man's sperm is on the short bus to insemination school
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:48 |
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If you are at a point where you don't trust that your wife's baby is yours, just leave and pay the child support once you get the paternity test, because your marriage isn't going to last much longer anyways.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:52 |
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ArbitraryC posted:For the latter case I've seen numbers as high as 1/10 and as low as 1/100. I think the more rigorous studies say it's around 2% or 1/50. And this is explicitly for fathers who have no idea, they did everything right, trusted their partners, raised the kids, etc, it just seems senseless for something that's such a simple test that's only really barred by social conventions. That's why imo the best solution is to take it out of the environment where it's an obviously loaded request and just treat it as a right to verified paternity. For reference, the 10% figure mostly comes from studies of studies where they're averaging a bunch of studies that say 1-3% with a couple of outliers that say 30% (most of which are based on the self-selected pool of people who got a paternity test because they suspected their wife of cheating.)
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:53 |
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Play posted:In the future babies likely will be tested genetically directly after birth, for health reasons. Gattaca was an alright film
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:54 |
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Improbable Lobster posted:Gattaca was an alright film Agreed
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:56 |
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# ? May 31, 2024 01:45 |
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Eponine posted:If you are at a point where you don't trust that your wife's baby is yours, just leave and pay the child support once you get the paternity test, because your marriage isn't going to last much longer anyways. Right and that's why I said you should never ask, just suck it up and take that 2% chance, my intent is to address this in a way that gives equal rights to men and women in this area without turning it into some dumb needless trust test. The real numbers show that regardless of trust, it still happens. We could have the ability to make it not happen anymore, and that would be most fair to everyone.
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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:56 |