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'Languishing out loud'
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Mar 11, 2017 03:56
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Not sure if this one has been posted before, but this sort of person is the worst. also, 
Yngwie Mangosteen has a new favorite as of 04:29 on Mar 11, 2017 |
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Mar 11, 2017 04:20
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Captain Monkey posted:Not sure if this one has been posted before, but this sort of person is the worst. 1) Haha here is a silly story that most likely didn'y happen but is only a little annoying and twee. Better comment on how much like a video game it is, because comparing stuff to video games makes me that much cooler. 2) Hey, I am so cool that I watch my roommate take drugs and do cool things. Said cool things involve both memes and nostalgia for middle school so they are extra cool. Also note I said it was my roommate so if pushed I don't ever have to do the thing that I said he did.
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Mar 11, 2017 05:03
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non dominant foot
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Mar 11, 2017 09:31
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Tired Moritz posted:non dominant foot 1) That makes it even quirkier! 2) Everyone knows that adding more detail to your lie makes it more believable!
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Mar 11, 2017 12:00
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Tired Moritz posted:non dominant foot Well yeah, using his dominant foot would be cheating.
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Mar 11, 2017 12:06
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The saddest part is knowing someone drew that while thinking "I'm gonna tell everyone I zipped some wicked sweet drugs and made this. No, wait, I can get in trouble, I'll say my roommate did this"
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Mar 11, 2017 12:21
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Danaru posted:The saddest part is knowing someone drew that while thinking "I'm gonna tell everyone I zipped some wicked sweet drugs and made this. No, wait, I can get in trouble, I'll say my roommate did this" No, the saddest part is thinking that drawing is cool.
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Mar 11, 2017 12:29
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The saddest part is where they hosed up and had to erase lol
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Mar 11, 2017 15:47
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tumblr continues to deliver black people aren't so scary after all~
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Mar 11, 2017 17:48
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Sisal Two-Step posted:black people aren't so scary after all~ If this didn't end with them trading Pokemon then frankly I'm not interested.
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Mar 11, 2017 17:57
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hogmartin posted:If this didn't end with them trading Pokemon then frankly I'm not interested. actually the black guy was a pokemon, you gotta read the subtext
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Mar 11, 2017 18:20
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More from Reddit's awful community. To make it worse, this was posted as 'This is my friend from Afghanistan. He does this sort of thing a lot!' They always remove themselves one step from it so they can't be called out these days. 
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Mar 12, 2017 22:11
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Captain Monkey posted:More from Reddit's awful community. To make it worse, this was posted as 'This is my friend from Afghanistan. He does this sort of thing a lot!' Is "infantry" that obscure of a technical term that someone would have no idea what they do? And especially, is there that little overlap between people who have, of course, seen Inglorious Basterds and also don't know what "infantry" means? Maybe I'm biased. Then again, I used to be in the artillery and was surprised by how many civilians had no idea what the word means. In those cases I'd end up saying "the ones who fire cannons" which was usually followed up by "we still have those?" then me having to explain that the military still has a shitload of artillery and uses them a lot.
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Mar 13, 2017 02:40
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Well a grunt would absolutely say something like that because it sounds moto, so with that said I can also believe that someone would feel dumb about it later and wanted to act like someone else said it
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Mar 13, 2017 03:42
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Mar 13, 2017 06:03
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life is killing me posted:Well a grunt would absolutely say something like that because it sounds moto, so with that said I can also believe that someone would feel dumb about it later and wanted to act like someone else said it This poo poo right here. I was infantry, and had way too many people have no clue what that was. I got sick of explaining it, and went with the following: "What do you do?" "I'm a government contractor." "Oh really? Doing what?" "Foreign relations and diplomatic liason." This is somehow even more douchey than the Bear Jew response... which admittedly, made me giggle.
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Mar 13, 2017 07:58
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What he didn't hear was "Get hosed you cheating little bastard, getting your internet friends to manipulate me into sex acts! I will never trust you again." Well done internet stranger for ruining this mans relationship. He doesn't even have the fact that he is good at FIFA to fall back on. Also, none of it happened, so either way no bj.
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Mar 13, 2017 08:01
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life is killing me posted:Well a grunt would absolutely say something like that because it sounds moto What is moto in this context?
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Mar 13, 2017 08:07
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when i was younger, we had to earn our blowjobs, not rely on internet charity. smh
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Mar 13, 2017 08:15
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kimbo305 posted:What is moto in this context? Retardly motivated.
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Mar 13, 2017 08:19
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BrigadierSensible posted:What he didn't hear was "Get hosed you cheating little bastard, getting your internet friends to manipulate me into sex acts! I will never trust you again." It's amazing that you didn't realise this was just a ploy to get idiots to throw the match and get an easy win.
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Mar 13, 2017 08:24
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I'm having a hard time believing many people have never heard the term "infantry". Are you sure they weren't just asking you for clarification since that's a pretty general term and wanted to know what your specific job is? Also the soccer story sounds like it was written by the same people who write the "my FIANCEE says if I get 1000 LIKES and SHARES on this post she will MARRY me" type facebook posts. Nobody (sane) does that - if they want to do the intimate act/major life decision, they'll just do it, not make you jump through arbitrary meaningless hoops to get it.
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Mar 13, 2017 09:08
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My friend from high school became a nuclear machinist for the navy. Nearly failed senior year physics because his calculator was unknowingly in radians instead of degrees for the entire semester, but made it up when the final was symbolic solutions only. I guess he fit right in.
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Mar 13, 2017 13:00
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kimbo305 posted:What is moto in this context? bulletsponge13 posted:Retardly motivated. What bulletsponge said. To expound, it's loving your life and your job so goddamn much you show up to work every day so happy to be there it annoys everyone else. It's loving every aspect of it, to the point you're getting tattoos with your corporate logo. That's probably translated well enough to non-military language I guess I've been out of the Army 5 years, I am hardly fluent anymore. To be fair, "moto" is really a Marine term you rarely hear in the Army.
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Mar 13, 2017 15:07
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Tired Moritz posted:when i was younger, we had to earn our blowjobs, not rely on internet charity. smh You have no idea how many lawns I mowed and newspapers I sold.
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Mar 13, 2017 15:59
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 A bit weak I admit. I'm sure this happens on occasion just not to the guy who made this macro.
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Mar 13, 2017 20:19
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Catberry posted:
it's funny b/c it makes me want to do the opposite to the guy who made the macro
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Mar 13, 2017 20:40
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That bear's face is a travesty.
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Mar 13, 2017 20:55
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sweeperbravo posted:it's funny b/c it makes me want to do the opposite to the guy who made the macro You want to pull his pants up and help him stand tall?
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Mar 13, 2017 21:52
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chitoryu12 posted:You want to pull his pants up and help him stand tall? Just in the middle and from the back, so that his weiner becomes the weinest.
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Mar 14, 2017 02:04
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yeah I eat rear end posted:I'm having a hard time believing many people have never heard the term "infantry". Are you sure they weren't just asking you for clarification since that's a pretty general term and wanted to know what your specific job is? To put it in some context, this was around 03/04, before the flush of modern war movies, and we're often young people. And this was in a lovely Baltimore suburb with low education standards. But no, these people straight up didn't know what Infantry meant. They hadn't heard the term before. poo poo, I had to explain what Infantry does to more than a couple soldiers in the Army. I kinda miss the moto retards, because it was almost always the slow downward spiral after the 14th gear layout of the day, or the fourth day straight of area beautification. The only exemption was a big, jolly, kinda dumb dude who was super good at his job, and happy he wasn't living in a meth filled shithole where the only jobs were throwing hay, or working at Walmart. He never really lost that childish moto-ness. To be fair, he needed like three waivers to get in, and I am pretty sure his wife was mentally challenged.
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Mar 14, 2017 07:48
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11 Hilarious Notes From Moms And Dads
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Mar 14, 2017 08:59
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The worst not-Buzzfeeds are the ones where they make you click through each individual entry in the listicle instead of having it all in one page so you can view more ads. e: also should be poop hand-print NOT poop-hand print. I am VERY disappointed in this fake dad's inability to correctly punctuate 
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Mar 14, 2017 09:39
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 Tumblr is so easy to fool. At least 12,118 times.
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Mar 14, 2017 10:04
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I can see this happening in a way. What kind of unique Jewish perspective can a teenager offer, really? I know I don't have anything particularly uniquely Jewish to say on the topic. My grandparents surely did, but that hardly gives me a unique perspective. So I imagine they just started rambling about something tangentially related and the teacher didn't want to derail the class.
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Mar 14, 2017 12:18
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I'm pretty sure the "i don't want to hear the jewish perspective" is only the way the poster interpreted it, not what was actually said (yeah he does use the word "literally" but usually it's safe to assume that when people use that word the thing didn't literally happen). He/she probably just told him to shut up and stop interrupting and the poster went home to rage online at the anti-Semite who wouldn't let him butt in and offer the unique hot take that the Holocaust was bad for Jews.
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Mar 14, 2017 12:32
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Paladinus posted:I can see this happening in a way. What kind of unique Jewish perspective can a teenager offer, really? I know I don't have anything particularly uniquely Jewish to say on the topic. My grandparents surely did, but that hardly gives me a unique perspective. So I imagine they just started rambling about something tangentially related and the teacher didn't want to derail the class. I sort of read it as "listen this is part of your cultural background and I really want to see if your non-Jewish classmates can answer this" but then I realized I was being far too optimistic. For this poo poo. Which decidedly did not happen.
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Mar 14, 2017 13:15
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flosofl posted:I sort of read it as "listen this is part of your cultural background and I really want to see if your non-Jewish classmates can answer this" but then I realized I was being far too optimistic. For this poo poo. Which decidedly did not happen. Yeah, I read it as the standard "Yes I know you know the answer, but let's see if the other kids can work their brains for a second or two to figure it out". Like when you totally know the answer to this maths problem but the teacher knows that you know the answer to it because you answered every other question right because you're a loser nerd. The Jewish kid knows the right answer, the teacher knows they know the right answer, but they have to let the other kids actually think about it themselves or no one is learning.
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Mar 14, 2017 13:21
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Ordinarily I would have been optimistic but this is Tumblr we're talking about.
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Mar 14, 2017 14:11
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