Cyberpunk 2017

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angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

hifi posted:

they're rebooting the matrix

well, to be fair its already been rebooted 6 times

# ? Mar 15, 2017 05:33

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# ? May 10, 2024 12:53

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Sagebrush posted:

they better have keanu reeves in it

they finally got wise and used him as the agent smith template

# ? Mar 15, 2017 05:34

NoneMoreNegative: Jul 20, 2000; GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN MASTER

shit wizard dad

hopefully they use the 'brains-as-distributed-processing' macguffin that was staring them in the face rather than the 'bodies-as-batteries' bullshit they settled on first time round.

# ? Mar 15, 2017 12:28

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

NoneMoreNegative posted:

hopefully they use the 'brains-as-distributed-processing' macguffin that was staring them in the face rather than the 'bodies-as-batteries' bullshit they settled on first time round.

following more than a century of declining revenue ever since their chief spokesperson was mired in scandal, in 2120 the kraft food corporation, in pursuit of increasing sales in a hyper-competitive retro dessert market, creates the world's first artificial super intelligence. its primary instruction is to increase the consumption of jell-o to its practical maximum.

4.8 seconds after activation, the kraft-o-matic seizes control of the global telecommunications system and uses it to activate an improvised army of domestic and military robots. the devastating preemptive attack lasts 44 minutes and eliminates 80% of the human population. after a series of futile skirmishes, the disorganized remnants of humanity are rounded up and forced to live in coffin sized pods filled with jell-o, are force fed jell-o, and when they die their bodies are dissolved and used as raw materials to create more jell-o

in order to promote acquiescence to this new world order, kraft-o-matic wires the remaining humans brains directly into a sophisticated virtual reality, initially little more than pro jell-o propaganda, but which gradually becomes an increasingly sophosticated scenario until mankind finally exists in a perpetual simulation of the late 1990s, the last time jell-o was seen as a wholesome dessert with a wholesome spokesperson.

# ? Mar 15, 2017 13:02

Silver Alicorn: Mar 30, 2008; 𝓪 𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓹𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓪 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮

angry_keebler posted:

following more than a century of declining revenue ever since their chief spokesperson was mired in scandal, in 2120 the kraft food corporation, in pursuit of increasing sales in a hyper-competitive retro dessert market, creates the world's first artificial super intelligence. its primary instruction is to increase the consumption of jell-o to its practical maximum.

4.8 seconds after activation, the kraft-o-matic seizes control of the global telecommunications system and uses it to activate an improvised army of domestic and military robots. the devastating preemptive attack lasts 44 minutes and eliminates 80% of the human population. after a series of futile skirmishes, the disorganized remnants of humanity are rounded up and forced to live in coffin sized pods filled with jell-o, are force fed jell-o, and when they die their bodies are dissolved and used as raw materials to create more jell-o

in order to promote acquiescence to this new world order, kraft-o-matic wires the remaining humans brains directly into a sophisticated virtual reality, initially little more than pro jell-o propaganda, but which gradually becomes an increasingly sophosticated scenario until mankind finally exists in a perpetual simulation of the late 1990s, the last time jell-o was seen as a wholesome dessert with a wholesome spokesperson.

# ? Mar 15, 2017 13:07

bicycle: Oct 23, 2013

angry_keebler posted:

following more than a century of declining revenue ever since their chief spokesperson was mired in scandal, in 2120 the kraft food corporation, in pursuit of increasing sales in a hyper-competitive retro dessert market, creates the world's first artificial super intelligence. its primary instruction is to increase the consumption of jell-o to its practical maximum.

4.8 seconds after activation, the kraft-o-matic seizes control of the global telecommunications system and uses it to activate an improvised army of domestic and military robots. the devastating preemptive attack lasts 44 minutes and eliminates 80% of the human population. after a series of futile skirmishes, the disorganized remnants of humanity are rounded up and forced to live in coffin sized pods filled with jell-o, are force fed jell-o, and when they die their bodies are dissolved and used as raw materials to create more jell-o

in order to promote acquiescence to this new world order, kraft-o-matic wires the remaining humans brains directly into a sophisticated virtual reality, initially little more than pro jell-o propaganda, but which gradually becomes an increasingly sophosticated scenario until mankind finally exists in a perpetual simulation of the late 1990s, the last time jell-o was seen as a wholesome dessert with a wholesome spokesperson.

# ? Mar 15, 2017 13:57

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

Sagebrush posted:

they better have keanu reeves in it

john wick will be revealed to be a video game

# ? Mar 15, 2017 14:58

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

angry_keebler posted:

following more than a century of declining revenue ever since their chief spokesperson was mired in scandal, in 2120 the kraft food corporation, in pursuit of increasing sales in a hyper-competitive retro dessert market, creates the world's first artificial super intelligence. its primary instruction is to increase the consumption of jell-o to its practical maximum.

4.8 seconds after activation, the kraft-o-matic seizes control of the global telecommunications system and uses it to activate an improvised army of domestic and military robots. the devastating preemptive attack lasts 44 minutes and eliminates 80% of the human population. after a series of futile skirmishes, the disorganized remnants of humanity are rounded up and forced to live in coffin sized pods filled with jell-o, are force fed jell-o, and when they die their bodies are dissolved and used as raw materials to create more jell-o

in order to promote acquiescence to this new world order, kraft-o-matic wires the remaining humans brains directly into a sophisticated virtual reality, initially little more than pro jell-o propaganda, but which gradually becomes an increasingly sophosticated scenario until mankind finally exists in a perpetual simulation of the late 1990s, the last time jell-o was seen as a wholesome dessert with a wholesome spokesperson.

# ? Mar 15, 2017 16:50

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

angry_keebler posted:

following more than a century of declining revenue ever since their chief spokesperson was mired in scandal, in 2120 the kraft food corporation, in pursuit of increasing sales in a hyper-competitive retro dessert market, creates the world's first artificial super intelligence. its primary instruction is to increase the consumption of jell-o to its practical maximum.

4.8 seconds after activation, the kraft-o-matic seizes control of the global telecommunications system and uses it to activate an improvised army of domestic and military robots. the devastating preemptive attack lasts 44 minutes and eliminates 80% of the human population. after a series of futile skirmishes, the disorganized remnants of humanity are rounded up and forced to live in coffin sized pods filled with jell-o, are force fed jell-o, and when they die their bodies are dissolved and used as raw materials to create more jell-o

in order to promote acquiescence to this new world order, kraft-o-matic wires the remaining humans brains directly into a sophisticated virtual reality, initially little more than pro jell-o propaganda, but which gradually becomes an increasingly sophosticated scenario until mankind finally exists in a perpetual simulation of the late 1990s, the last time jell-o was seen as a wholesome dessert with a wholesome spokesperson.

this is arguably one of the more optimistic futures i've read about lately

# ? Mar 15, 2017 18:54

Cocoa Crispies: Jul 20, 2001; Vehicular Manslaughter!; Pillbug

angry_keebler posted:

well, to be fair its already been rebooted 6 times

thanks

# ? Mar 15, 2017 18:55

Bored Online: May 25, 2009; We don't need Rome telling us what to do.

angry_keebler posted:

following more than a century of declining revenue ever since their chief spokesperson was mired in scandal, in 2120 the kraft food corporation, in pursuit of increasing sales in a hyper-competitive retro dessert market, creates the world's first artificial super intelligence. its primary instruction is to increase the consumption of jell-o to its practical maximum.

4.8 seconds after activation, the kraft-o-matic seizes control of the global telecommunications system and uses it to activate an improvised army of domestic and military robots. the devastating preemptive attack lasts 44 minutes and eliminates 80% of the human population. after a series of futile skirmishes, the disorganized remnants of humanity are rounded up and forced to live in coffin sized pods filled with jell-o, are force fed jell-o, and when they die their bodies are dissolved and used as raw materials to create more jell-o

in order to promote acquiescence to this new world order, kraft-o-matic wires the remaining humans brains directly into a sophisticated virtual reality, initially little more than pro jell-o propaganda, but which gradually becomes an increasingly sophosticated scenario until mankind finally exists in a perpetual simulation of the late 1990s, the last time jell-o was seen as a wholesome dessert with a wholesome spokesperson.

considering what he had to work with brian herbert did a pretty alright job with the butlerian jihad prequels

# ? Mar 16, 2017 05:01

Moist von Lipwig: Oct 28, 2006; by FactsAreUseless; Tortured By Flan

angry_keebler posted:

following more than a century of declining revenue ever since their chief spokesperson was mired in scandal, in 2120 the kraft food corporation, in pursuit of increasing sales in a hyper-competitive retro dessert market, creates the world's first artificial super intelligence. its primary instruction is to increase the consumption of jell-o to its practical maximum.

4.8 seconds after activation, the kraft-o-matic seizes control of the global telecommunications system and uses it to activate an improvised army of domestic and military robots. the devastating preemptive attack lasts 44 minutes and eliminates 80% of the human population. after a series of futile skirmishes, the disorganized remnants of humanity are rounded up and forced to live in coffin sized pods filled with jell-o, are force fed jell-o, and when they die their bodies are dissolved and used as raw materials to create more jell-o

in order to promote acquiescence to this new world order, kraft-o-matic wires the remaining humans brains directly into a sophisticated virtual reality, initially little more than pro jell-o propaganda, but which gradually becomes an increasingly sophosticated scenario until mankind finally exists in a perpetual simulation of the late 1990s, the last time jell-o was seen as a wholesome dessert with a wholesome spokesperson.

# ? Mar 16, 2017 05:11

ConanTheLibrarian: Aug 13, 2004; dis buch is late; Fallen Rib

angry_keebler posted:

retro dessert

disappointed this didnt turn out to be dessert for butts

# ? Mar 16, 2017 08:49

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Trabandiumium posted:

18 year uptime isn't bad

A good post

# ? Mar 16, 2017 16:37

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

black market genetic mods still a risky proposition in 2017

# ? Mar 16, 2017 18:29

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

Trabandiumium posted:

18 year uptime isn't bad

lol

infernal machines posted:

they finally got wise and used him as the agent smith template

crossover plots looking good

# ? Mar 16, 2017 20:38

ConanTheLibrarian: Aug 13, 2004; dis buch is late; Fallen Rib

infernal machines posted:

black market genetic mods still a risky proposition in 2017

quote:

shady stem cell clinics

I cant believe this is a real life thing and that theres more than one of them

# ? Mar 16, 2017 22:43

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

i'm still a little surprised there are people willing to let someone inject cultured belly fat into their eyeballs

# ? Mar 16, 2017 22:53

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

I like the bit where they say

quote:

Since 2001, our clinics have successfully conducted more than 7,000 stem cell procedures with less than 0.01 percent adverse reactions reported.

implying that 0.7 patients had an adverse reaction

# ? Mar 16, 2017 22:53

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

well only 70% of one patient had an adverse reaction. the rest of them was fine

# ? Mar 16, 2017 22:56

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

infernal machines posted:

well only 70% of one patient had an adverse reaction. the rest of them was fine

she's a quadriplegic now, but her face looks great

# ? Mar 16, 2017 23:06

NoneMoreNegative: Jul 20, 2000; GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN MASTER

shit wizard dad

the patient is completely all right
total hemiplegia

# ? Mar 16, 2017 23:43

Chris Knight: Jun 5, 2002; me @ ur posts; Fun Shoe

infernal machines posted:

i'm still a little surprised there are people willing to let someone inject cultured belly fat into their eyeballs

people willingly got silicone caulk injections too

# ? Mar 17, 2017 00:18

Deep Dish Fuckfest: Sep 6, 2006; Advanced
Computer Touching; Toilet Rascal

i gotta be honest, from a purely visceral standpoint i'd think people would be a bit more discerning about what they shoot in their eyes versus anywhere else

# ? Mar 17, 2017 00:27

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

Sagebrush posted:

I like the bit where they say

implying that 0.7 patients had an adverse reaction

can't report if you're dead

# ? Mar 17, 2017 01:54

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

Deep Dish Fuckfest posted:

i gotta be honest, from a purely visceral standpoint i'd think people would be a bit more discerning about what they shoot in their eyes versus anywhere else

eyeball tattoos and implants are a thing

# ? Mar 17, 2017 02:15

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

NoneMoreNegative posted:

the patient is completely all right
total hemiplegia

Holy moly

# ? Mar 17, 2017 04:48

Deep Dish Fuckfest: Sep 6, 2006; Advanced
Computer Touching; Toilet Rascal

eschaton posted:

eyeball tattoos and implants are a thing

i have no love of needles in the first place, and this doesn't help. i should probably accept i'd make a pretty lovely cyberpunk

well the corporate shitbag lifestyle isn't that bad i guess

# ? Mar 17, 2017 19:45

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

oh, evidently the hunger games is coming to russia, which is a little more broadly dystopian than strictly cyberpunk, but i'm still getting pumped up

# ? Mar 17, 2017 21:58

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

angry_keebler posted:

oh, evidently the hunger games is coming to russia, which is a little more broadly dystopian than strictly cyberpunk, but i'm still getting pumped up

er uh

like actual hunger games held in a stadium in russia?

# ? Mar 18, 2017 01:03

SwitchbladeKult: Apr 4, 2012; "The warmth of life has entered my tomb!"

Powaqoatse posted:

er uh

like actual hunger games held in a stadium in russia?

reality-TV :airquote:

http://nypost.com/2017/03/09/a-real-life-hunger-games-is-coming-to-russia/

# ? Mar 18, 2017 01:56

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

Powaqoatse posted:

er uh

like actual hunger games held in a stadium in russia?

survivor on an island in siberia and maybe they don't respond to any emergencies or crimes and whoever is left after however many months splits the prize

# ? Mar 18, 2017 01:59

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

ah ok. so not literally "kill each other for money" but more like "whoops someone died" style

btw little known fact: the first person to ever be voted off the island killed himself. "weirdly" its on the swedish wikipedia but not the english

https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sini%9Aa_Savija

# ? Mar 18, 2017 02:06

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

well, the producer kinda bragged "lol maybe people will get raped and then have babies and muder each other i think that would be cool," but then it kinda maybe got walked back/is a marketing stunt? idk it will probably stink but there's always the possibility it could be really cyberpunk

# ? Mar 18, 2017 02:18

hifi: Jul 25, 2012

Powaqoatse posted:

ah ok. so not literally "kill each other for money" but more like "whoops someone died" style

btw little known fact: the first person to ever be voted off the island killed himself. "weirdly" its on the swedish wikipedia but not the english

https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sini%9Aa_Savija

it's mentioned here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expedition_Robinson_1997

# ? Mar 18, 2017 02:23

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

hifi posted:

it's mentioned here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expedition_Robinson_1997

thx. i clicked around from the swedish to the english wiki and couldnt find anything but im also dumb as hell

its pretty hosed up that the show became a franchise after that tho

# ? Mar 18, 2017 02:48

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Powaqoatse posted:

thx. i clicked around from the swedish to the english wiki and couldnt find anything but im also dumb as hell

its pretty hosed up that the show became a franchise after that tho

Lol that you think this is hosed up in a country where our politicians are seemingly having a competition over who can pass a bill that will directly kill the most people

# ? Mar 18, 2017 06:27

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Captain Foo posted:

Lol that you think this is hosed up in a country where our politicians are seemingly having a competition over who can pass a bill that will directly kill the most people

morally and ethically its obviously hosed up, my surprise is that anyone would touch it aftewards, liability/insurance/etc-wise

afaik it was the first reality show of its kind, it wasnt a proven money-making format yet.

why would any channel or producer buy a weird new concept where literally the first one to lose the game killed themselves? seems reckless

# ? Mar 18, 2017 06:48

Roosevelt: Jul 18, 2009; I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.

Powaqoatse posted:

morally and ethically its obviously hosed up, my surprise is that anyone would touch it aftewards, liability/insurance/etc-wise

afaik it was the first reality show of its kind, it wasnt a proven money-making format yet.

why would any channel or producer buy a weird new concept where literally the first one to lose the game killed themselves? seems reckless

the first season had tens of millions of viewers. it's all about the ratings, babe. show me the $$$$$$

# ? Mar 18, 2017 07:37

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# ? May 10, 2024 12:53

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Roosevelt posted:

the first season had tens of millions of viewers. it's all about the ratings, babe. show me the $$$$$$

there arent tens of millions of people in sweden

# ? Mar 18, 2017 07:39

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