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500 good dogs posted:Yeah benzos probably make me more impulsive because IDGAF They actually have the opposite effect on me when I've taken them, as they calm the anxiety and such that has tended to impact my impulse control.
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Mar 16, 2017 01:52
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im going to insufflate ketamine and dance to psychedelic trance at a music festival, but it's for my depression
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Mar 16, 2017 02:32
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I always just fall asleep, but not permanently
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Mar 16, 2017 02:39
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Hardawn posted:I always just fall asleep, but not permanently Bummer. I have the same problem. 
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Mar 16, 2017 02:43
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Pennywise the Frown posted:Bummer. I have the same problem. I can say that in my experience that has a good potential to improve. I couldn't count the number of nights in my life that I have gone to bed and sincerely hoped I wouldn't wake up in the morning. Now I just hate mornings, but am happy that I didn't die in my sleep. 
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Mar 16, 2017 02:49
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CaptainSarcastic posted:I can say that in my experience that has a good potential to improve. I couldn't count the number of nights in my life that I have gone to bed and sincerely hoped I wouldn't wake up in the morning. It would be quite the change where I wouldn't accept death as like a, "eh, sure, I'm ready, whatever". Maybe 6 months from now I might feel different but the odds are low considering my past. Another day though of no booze and no weed either. 2 days of zero mind altering substances. Well, besides the WICKED HIGH OF LIFE!!! 
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Mar 16, 2017 04:21
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I don't take benzos because I'm not a broke brained addict 
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Mar 16, 2017 04:22
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TheSpamalope posted:I don't take benzos because I'm not a broke brained addict I do.
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Mar 16, 2017 04:32
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the only drugs you need in life are: speed everything else sucks and does not own.
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Mar 16, 2017 04:37
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Pennywise the Frown posted:It would be quite the change where I wouldn't accept death as like a, "eh, sure, I'm ready, whatever". Maybe 6 months from now I might feel different but the odds are low considering my past. Just speaking for myself, I find it is entirely possible to live a decent life while still having an odd relationship with my own mortality. You know that cold thrill of adrenaline you get when you have a near miss at freeway speeds? When you're almost hit by a car as a pedestrian? Yeah, I don't get that. I first realized I had lost that reaction around 2005 or so, and now mostly note it with academic interest. I had surgery recently and I was mostly concerned about whether I would be conscious while intubated - the idea I could just plain die under general anesthetic merited a "meh, whatever" response from me. It's not that I still feel some urge to rush toward the sweet embrace of death, and more that I've come to better terms with myself. Getting a healthier relationship with yourself doesn't necessarily mean you have to be Stepford-levels of happy all the time.
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Mar 16, 2017 05:06
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Lol yeah become numb that'sa good answer. Just another ghost
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Mar 16, 2017 05:08
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TheSpamalope posted:Lol yeah become numb that'sa good answer. Just another ghost I don't think it's really a choice. You can choose to drink and do drugs to help with the existential realization that you literally don't matter in the grand scheme of things at the age of about 13! 
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Mar 16, 2017 05:17
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TheSpamalope posted:Lol yeah become numb that'sa good answer. Just another ghost I'm actually surprisingly well-adjusted, oddly enough.
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Mar 16, 2017 05:23
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Nonviolent J posted:How the gently caress do you do it, I'm trying to drink only on the weekend and its loving hard IDK, I just drink a lot, go to work, and still function. Been doing it for like 15 years now. OH I know what it is. I'm not an idiot.
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Mar 16, 2017 05:27
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Yeah it's possible but i'd like to not die from alcoholism thanks
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Mar 16, 2017 05:34
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Nonviolent J posted:Yeah it's possible but i'd like to not die from alcoholism thanks you'll die from being a dumbass so you might as well drink
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Mar 16, 2017 05:37
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Classic gnarly, i've missed you
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Mar 16, 2017 05:38
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smooches
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Mar 16, 2017 05:39
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Last time I saw you, you were a mod. My my how drinking can make you fall from the top.
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Mar 16, 2017 06:00
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Pennywise the Frown posted:Last time I saw you, you were a mod. yeah I'm really down on my luck since then
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Mar 16, 2017 06:05
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I don't drink anymore but that's it.
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Mar 16, 2017 06:11
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We Know Catheters posted:I don't drink anymore but that's it. I have never met you, but you seem to know how to get probated in the most divisive circumstances. I like that. How do you feel about this thread?
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Mar 16, 2017 06:39
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im holding onto my life as is with my alcoholism but im definitely just treading water and not doing anything days are long nights are fun and boozy i need to stop but i dont know how i dont see the point either gently caress
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Mar 16, 2017 07:24
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Do you still ride bikes
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Mar 16, 2017 08:07
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Nonviolent J posted:Do you still ride bikes gently caress that. Try riding skateboards anymore. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jec5YAjth6M
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Mar 16, 2017 12:54
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Well I'm waking up in the AM again. That's kind of nice. I get to see the sun. A while back a doctor said I have a circadian rhythm disorder and I basically have a 26 hour day. Every so often (very often) my schedule gets hosed up to the point where I wake up at night and go to sleep at like, 10am. I'm guessing the alcohol exacerbated that. I was going to go snowshoeing yesterday at whatever local park that has hiking trails.... but I didn't. It's cold. Today I can't because I have to drive to the place where that piece of poo poo Paul Ryan lives or is from or burrows or whatever that hell that reptilian nazi does there. I got off track. I'm going there for storm spotter training for Team Rubicon. This is the thing that sucks with a broken brain. Ever since I was a child I wanted to get into meteorology or something related. Here I have a training opportunity that I've always wanted to do..... and I don't want to go now. I'll drive the hour to go there, but there is nothing firing off upstairs. Seems like a laborious chore to do something I used to be fascinated with. I'm still going. I'll probably really enjoy it too. Had I been drinking I probably would have woken up and decided not to go, get angry at myself, get even more depressed, then drink... yay 
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Mar 16, 2017 17:08
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numberoneposter posted:im holding onto my life as is with my alcoholism but im definitely just treading water and not doing anything Yeah dude, in the Subway thread I was going to call you a disgusting fat rear end for your "numberoneposter BMT + CCC + Double Cheese Subway Eat Fresh Sandwich ™", but then someone said you ride like 40 miles a day or something awesome that justified that... thing. That certainly has to help. And I doubt boozin' makes the ride easier.
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Mar 16, 2017 17:57
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how u doin sober goons
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Mar 17, 2017 04:13
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I'm a storm spotter now. I'm also unreasonably furious at everything for no reason. Well, it didn't help trying to listen to any talk radio in the greater Chicago area on my 1.5 hour drive that was only talking about Trump. Both ways. Now I want to kill. The training actually put a nice lull into the kill thing and I was super excited and social and funny and energetic (probably too much but everyone seemed to enjoy it), and then I left and immediately went back to my wanting to kill phase. These rapid rollercoaster emotions are basically expected now due to the the whole loving bipolar bullshit. I saw my therapist today and she just said to watch out for any odd thoughts or signs that might lead to mania and to not kill myself or others. To be fair I think she has to ask everyone about murder, etc. though. I'm on day 17 besides the slip which I'm not counting because gently caress it I don't want to. I can make up any number I want. Who gives a poo poo? Well I do but one slip doesn't mean I hosed up so bad and everything is over and boo hoo hoo I have to start over. No, gently caress you. I'm sticking with my streak. Other than that everything is cool. I should play a game. Like a truck simulator or something. Pennywise the Frown fucked around with this message at 04:57 on Mar 17, 2017 |
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Mar 17, 2017 04:54
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Pennywise the Frown posted:I'm a storm spotter now. You should livestream a game and I'll watch it until my wife makes me turn it off for being unfunny
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Mar 17, 2017 05:08
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It's been more than a year since I took klonopin and I just took some an hour ago it's working pretty well
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Mar 17, 2017 05:09
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I doubled my dose today because everything was insane. I wonder how things would have worked out had I not done so. I don't know how to stream games. To be honest, I really don't want to either. Enough people can see me fail in real life. Thank you though 500 good dogs. You are very nice and helpful. edit: also you probably wouldn't be too excited watching me trying to back up semi trailer for 15 minutes each time.
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Mar 17, 2017 05:23
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I mean im watching thosr terrible lowtax game videos he just posted in gbs and they're terrible so I can't imagine what could be worse.
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Mar 17, 2017 05:26
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I forgot I like klonopin
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Mar 17, 2017 05:26
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500 good dogs posted:I mean im watching thosr terrible lowtax game videos he just posted in gbs and they're terrible so I can't imagine what could be worse. 500 good dogs posted:You should livestream a game and I'll watch it until my wife makes me turn it off for being unfunny Time for your wife to step in.
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Mar 17, 2017 05:35
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500 good dogs posted:I forgot I like klonopin Who doesnt
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Mar 17, 2017 05:40
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the store was all out of the cheap vodka that I like so Im not drinkign tonight for the first night in like ??? months lol
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Mar 17, 2017 05:54
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im not here to hate at all but if youre taking benzos on the daily your not sober in any sense of the word
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Mar 17, 2017 05:57
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Tolkien minority posted:im not here to hate at all but if youre taking benzos on the daily your not sober in any sense of the word nah my psychiatrist just gave me a couple of bottles for panic attacks. I told him I only need a few but apparently to him that means 30 plus a refill
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Mar 17, 2017 06:04
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| # ? May 9, 2024 11:11 |
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I also don't drink (never really have, I drink 2 or 3 times a year) but I quit weed a week ago (which shouldn't even count as drugs that matter but I was smoking it every night so...)
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Mar 17, 2017 06:06
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