Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

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Baron Porkface: Jan 22, 2007

verbal enema posted:

?

Like you lose an army and then it's all ahhh hurry up number get back to 2370/2370 again!

Who are you playing too

Pechnegs, ive tried both the 700 and 800 start.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 09:19

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# ? May 30, 2024 00:47

ShootaBoy: Jan 6, 2010; Anime is Bad.
_{Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.}

Am I nuts or did there used to be a trait you could get if you were christian and had all (or even some?) of the virtues? I remember the text for it being something about you being a true knight and example of chivalry.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 10:38

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

vwa ha ha. Behold! GROOGY'S WOE! Hellenic paganism in ironman!

It can be achieved in a very historically plausible way - with the return of Caligula's horse. If you just become an insane immortal, you'll eventually appoint glitterhoof as chancellor, and there's even an event to give him some of your immortal blood to make him immortal, too. Having an immortal horse as courtier makes it very likely for your immortal rival (if they EVER SHOW UP, that part took forever) to be Incitatus, a hellenic pagan horse.

Though despite being horse-cultured, he doesn't actually appear to be a horse, nor does he have the horse trait. (Actually, I just noticed that he's since lost horse culture in this screenshot)

If you have a diplomatic education or lifestyle, rather than killing him, you can befriend him! You can then have him educate heirs into the one true faith, convert territory to hellenic paganism, et cetera. Though the latter part of that is kind of tricky, as hellenic pagans will under no circumstances even attempt to convert non-pagan territories. There's one or two events that can make it happen anyway, but it's not particularly viable.

Still. Ironman hellenism. It's been long in coming.

ShootaBoy posted:

Am I nuts or did there used to be a trait you could get if you were christian and had all (or even some?) of the virtues? I remember the text for it being something about you being a true knight and example of chivalry.

It's a character modifier, not a trait, but yeah, True Christian Knight.

code:

	trigger = {
		is_heretic = no
		NOT = {	has_character_modifier = true_christian_knight	}
		NOT = { trait = cynical }
		NOT = { trait = lustful }
		NOT = { trait = gluttonous }
		NOT = { trait = greedy }
		NOT = { trait = slothful }
		NOT = { trait = envious }
		NOT = { trait = wroth }
		NOT = { trait = proud }
		NOT = { trait = cruel }
		
		martial = 8
		trait = humble
		trait = diligent
		trait = brave
		
		piety = 25
		
	}

It gives .05 monthly piety, and 10 church opinion!

Strudel Man fucked around with this message at 10:50 on Mar 18, 2017

# ? Mar 18, 2017 10:46

genericnick: Dec 26, 2012

Is there more to the Devil Spawn events now? I finally got a demon child, promptly die and after a few more accidents am now an adult Anti Christ. The stats are great but nothing else seems to be happening. Do I need to be independent? Also both the Basileus and the HRE are satanists and my only regret is that I can't marry both of them matrilinearily.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 11:01

ShootaBoy: Jan 6, 2010; Anime is Bad.
_{Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.}

Son of a bitch, I forgot about character modifiers!

# ? Mar 18, 2017 11:04

genericnick: Dec 26, 2012

I just noticed that the capital county levy modifier is gone. The capital duchy modifier for the other regions is still in.
Edit: For vassals that is. I suppose the intent was that only independent rulers get those modifiers? And they forgot to turn off both?

genericnick fucked around with this message at 12:42 on Mar 18, 2017

# ? Mar 18, 2017 11:33

Real Cool Catfish: Jun 6, 2011

Strudel Man posted:

code:

	trigger = {
		is_heretic = no
		NOT = {	has_character_modifier = true_christian_knight	}
		NOT = { trait = cynical }
		NOT = { trait = lustful }
		NOT = { trait = gluttonous }
		NOT = { trait = greedy }
		NOT = { trait = slothful }
		NOT = { trait = envious }
		NOT = { trait = wroth }
		NOT = { trait = proud }
		NOT = { trait = cruel }
		
		martial = 8
		trait = humble
		trait = diligent
		trait = brave
		
		piety = 25
		
	}

This explains why my Duke of Bavaria was hailed as a True Christian Knight despite being a crazy cannibal. A brave and humble man, who also ate his political enemies.

I mean, I was going to just eat the guy who had my firstborn son murdered. But it turns out the -50 crazy cannibal modifier doesn't stack, and it's so hard to stop at just one.

The moral authority bonus from paragons of virtue really needs to be divided by 10 or something. It's over +40% in my game.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 14:54

Carcer: Aug 7, 2010

its +1% per person who achieves the "paragon of virtue" ambition. You just got lots of really pious murdering assholes, is all.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 16:51

Clanpot Shake: Aug 10, 2006; shake shake!

Is it possible to search for a trait? I keep getting the "sacrifice a dwarf" mission and unless I already know I have one in my court it's next to impossible to complete it.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 16:53

genericnick: Dec 26, 2012

Just type dwarf.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 17:04

Pakled: Aug 6, 2011; WE ARE SMART

Clanpot Shake posted:

Is it possible to search for a trait? I keep getting the "sacrifice a dwarf" mission and unless I already know I have one in my court it's next to impossible to complete it.

Yep, you can search for traits in the character finder.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 17:05

Real Cool Catfish: Jun 6, 2011

Carcer posted:

its +1% per person who achieves the "paragon of virtue" ambition. You just got lots of really pious murdering assholes, is all.

It seems like it's keeping the MA of catholics higher than it should be. An antipope and a lost crusade and it was still happily 100% because of all the paragons.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 18:16

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

cock hero flux posted:

honestly it seems excessively reasonable to sit down with your husband a couple of days after the wedding and say "alright honey, now that we're married, it's time for you to stop loving your sister"

More importantly, why would a Norse pagan give a poo poo? "For Thor's sake, if you want to have sex with someone who's not me, it has to be one of the rape slaves that you kidnapped from Constantinople and made your concubine. Not some random court floozie!"

# ? Mar 18, 2017 18:26

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

It's not cheating if they're chained up.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 19:07

TjyvTompa: Jun 1, 2001; im gay

Baron Porkface posted:

How do i get a good start as a Horse lord? It seems like my armies never regenerate and I just get eaten one province at a time.

Pick the Uyghyr at the earliest start. Start moving your armies to the nortwest capital of your vassal asap, recruit 250 more men with the prestige you get from the marriage (that you make with someone that wont lose you prestige) then join the war your vassal calls you in. Beat his 500 stack, occupy his capital and end the war. Then immediately move your army down to the single indian lands to the south and start doing wars of suzerainty (can't remember what they really are called). Then just start to snowball from there, don't forget to put your son asa general so he gains prestige, he will need it otherwise someone else might get elected when you die. Money is never an issue as a horse lord, you buy your armies using prestige and get loads of cash from all the pillaging so spend it all on upgrades in your capital.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 19:41

darthbob88: Oct 13, 2011; YOSPOS

TjyvTompa posted:

Pick the Uyghyr at the earliest start. Start moving your armies to the nortwest capital of your vassal asap, recruit 250 more men with the prestige you get from the marriage (that you make with someone that wont lose you prestige) then join the war your vassal calls you in. Beat his 500 stack, occupy his capital and end the war. Then immediately move your army down to the single indian lands to the south and start doing wars of suzerainty (can't remember what they really are called). Then just start to snowball from there, don't forget to put your son asa general so he gains prestige, he will need it otherwise someone else might get elected when you die. Money is never an issue as a horse lord, you buy your armies using prestige and get loads of cash from all the pillaging so spend it all on upgrades in your capital.

Make tributary. They're an especially good idea for nomads because they get you prestige and vassal loyalty, both of which you need. And yeah, get three or four people paying you tribute, then start turning that into more territory for you. Tributaries last as long as you do, but territory is forever.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 20:33

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Darth Windu posted:

I know you can turn it off but it seems to be a huge part of the new content so then what's the point?

Anyway why is it necessary to land your kids after you induct them? My plan is to prepared invasion somewhere in North Africa and be a secret pagan. Is that possible?

It is one cult and there are secret religions and other not-cults to join as well. It's just one of several.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 20:37

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

Satanists just seem like such a big deal because they're the first thing anybody does with M&M so there's a shitload of discussion about them. In my non-Satanist games the only time I ever even notice them is occasionally one will get too brazen and get himself outted publicly. Then I push his poo poo in because I know how dangerous a Satanist can be and also why not it's a good excuse to ruin somebody.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 21:10

genericnick: Dec 26, 2012

I think part of this is that pagans only get Satanists and Norse are a frequent start. Today I started a game where half of all the Viking chiefs ended up in the secret society.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 21:23

AG3: Feb 4, 2004; Ask me about spending hundreds of dollars on Mass Effect 2 emoticons and Avatars.; Oven Wrangler

Aztec invasion in 893 is bad. I should've known this would happen when I set the supernatural events to be available to the computer. I just wanted a few rival immortals, that's all...

# ? Mar 18, 2017 21:30

Hammerstein: May 6, 2005; YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT RACING !

I haven't played this in a year since EU IV is sucking up most of my Paradox time. Did the latest DLC actually introduce supernatural events ? Cause this sounds hilarious and makes me want to play again.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 21:31

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

Hammerstein posted:

I haven't played this in a year since EU IV is sucking up most of my Paradox time. Did the latest DLC actually introduce supernatural events ? Cause this sounds hilarious and makes me want to play again.

Demonic possession and pregnancy, using Satan's hocus pocus magic to give some poor bastard a disease or to regrow the dick your court physician chopped off or to make your wife spontaneously combust, devouring your own kids' lifeforce to prolong your own life. Also if you become the High Priest of the satanists anybody beneath you will basically do anything you want them to, including weird marriages and swearing fealty to you.

The Hermetics are extremely cool, too. Be a medieval scientists and drink potions to cure your sadbrains, build a lab and observe the stars, write peer-reviewed papers, become a master debater, hunt down ancient hermetic texts, conspire with other hermetic members to pillage and destroy another member's laboratory, write a magnum opus that stays in your treasury, etc etc

Also that treasury alone is worth getting M&M, imo. I've got poo poo that's been in the family for centuries that adds to stats, prestige, piety, and opinion, including three magnum opuses. I've also got Muhammad's sandals and one of his beard hairs. In my Byzantine game I've got Jesus' foreskin!

The other generic societies seem to be mostly trait laundry and deciding when to stop/start loving, but I haven't screwed with them much yet.

Honky Dong Country fucked around with this message at 21:56 on Mar 18, 2017

# ? Mar 18, 2017 21:53

Tuxedo Catfish: Mar 17, 2007; You've got guts! Come to my village, I'll buy you lunch.

Hammerstein posted:

I haven't played this in a year since EU IV is sucking up most of my Paradox time. Did the latest DLC actually introduce supernatural events ? Cause this sounds hilarious and makes me want to play again.

We've had supernatural events for a while, the latest DLC just added a bunch more.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 21:57

genericnick: Dec 26, 2012

Hammerstein posted:

I haven't played this in a year since EU IV is sucking up most of my Paradox time. Did the latest DLC actually introduce supernatural events ? Cause this sounds hilarious and makes me want to play again.

The one before the last one did already. Turn immortal, become a werewolf, eat your enemies and gain their power.

Honky Dong Country posted:

Also that treasury alone is worth getting M&M, imo. I've got poo poo that's been in the family for centuries that adds to stats, prestige, piety, and opinion, including three magnum opuses.

Are they only active for Hermetics? I haven't yet played anyone who can join them and Satanism is just so useful.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 21:58

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

genericnick posted:

Are they only active for Hermetics? I haven't yet played anyone who can join them and Satanism is just so useful.

~~Unfortunately yes. Magnum Opuses are inactive in the possession of a non-Hermetic.~~ Nevermind, you either have to be in the Hermetic Society or have drat high learning. Of the three Magnum Opuses I have, two require 25 Learning, one requires 20. So basically be really smart or be a hermetic.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 22:05

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

Magna opera can be activated by meeting the same learning criteria that allowed their creation, or by being an active hermetic.

They usually give learning benefits themselves, so if yours isn't quite up to snuff, you could probably join the hermetics to get your secret decoder ring, activate them, and then have them stay active after you leave thanks to their own learning boosts.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 22:10

Dryb: Jul 30, 2007; What did I do?

AG3 posted:

Aztec invasion in 893 is bad. I should've known this would happen when I set the supernatural events to be available to the computer. I just wanted a few rival immortals, that's all...

Don't lie to us, you wanted rival immortals so you could eat them.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 22:26

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

Well my once-secret Jews have taken Jerusalem, founded Israel, built the third temple, and restored the high priesthood. I then made the custom Empire of Israel, now ruled by Emperor Gideon II the Hammer. This dude is a badass like his grandfather King Gideon II Ironside. He's defeated a Christian crusade for Jerusalem and a Shia jihad for Egypt. A great holy war just got called for Mesopotamia too.

I'm glad the Zealots are around now though. They're full of Ashkenazi who I'm using to educated all children. I've been Ethiopian this whole time and all light infantry retinues suck. If I go Ashkenazi it's heavy infantry and archers. Should give me some more punch.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 22:30

Hammerstein: May 6, 2005; YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT RACING !

Which DLC added all that Highlander, there can be only one, stuff ?

Reinstalling - this is gonna be a long night.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 22:33

Blooming Brilliant: Jul 12, 2010

Hammerstein posted:

Which DLC added all that Highlander, there can be only one, stuff ?

Reinstalling - this is gonna be a long night.

The Reaper's Due.

It's a good DLC, I hated it at first but it's grew on me a lot.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 22:44

Carcer: Aug 7, 2010

I'm in a multiplayer game with a couple other guys. Its 987 and we've just finished uniting Britannia and the black death has appeared India and swept all the way through to the Mediterranean. England is pretty susceptible to disease in general, how boned are we?

# ? Mar 18, 2017 23:10

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

Carcer posted:

I'm in a multiplayer game with a couple other guys. Its 987 and we've just finished uniting Britannia and the black death has appeared India and swept all the way through to the Mediterranean. England is pretty susceptible to disease in general, how boned are we?

I've never seen it fail to make it into Britannia. The only place I've ever seen go untouched by the Black Death are the nomadic steppes in Tartaria and I'm pretty sure that's because there's no holdings out there.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 23:18

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

A maxed-out hospital can sometimes keep the black death out of a booming province.

# ? Mar 18, 2017 23:22

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

Honky Dong Country posted:

I've never seen it fail to make it into Britannia. The only place I've ever seen go untouched by the Black Death are the nomadic steppes in Tartaria and I'm pretty sure that's because there's no holdings out there.

:mali:

real answer: check out the mapmode "historical plague exclusion zone" ya goofs

# ? Mar 19, 2017 02:03

Ivan Shitskin: Nov 29, 2002

Man, playing as Venice in 1066 is pretty hard. The HRE and the Byzantines are the two dominant powers, controlling such a huge amount of coastline, and they constantly embargo me with their gigantic 20,000-man armies, so my options seem limited. I can only build trade posts either in a tiny stretch of land close to home, or really far away where it's really expensive. Not even the powers of Satan can help me here. Doesn't help that my guy was outed as a witch to the rest of the world, giving a -50 opinion hit to what seems to be literally every character on the planet, even other devil-worshippers for some reason. That and being a disfigured, cruel, possessed, insane cannibal means I'm hated by everyone.

I'm gonna be overtaken by the other merchant republics before long, since they have the backing of the great powers. At least no one can take me down from within because of my devil magic and high intrigue. I'm set to remain in power for a long time.

My old wife was scared of me and wouldn't gently caress me, so I ate her and then replaced her with a hot young devil cultist named Dora the Spider. She liked me enough to screw me, but she was immediately murdered by a rival patrician. That pissed me off so I used my devil magic to give him smallpox, then imprisoned and burned him to death. My greatest hope now is that I'm next in line to be high priest of the Satanists. The current one is a possessed, gay mercenary captain, and he's older than me so I hope he dies soon. This game can be pretty hilarious.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 03:19

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

I think one of my favorite things about the Hermetic Society is how its power structure works. You don't need some dude to die before you attain the highest rank. You can still become a Magus you're just not the Magus, which doesn't seem to matter at all.

gently caress yeah got an Ashkenazi emperor on the throne. Goodbye lovely light infantry, hello less lovely heavy infantry! Also now my dynasty is actually using Jewish names, which is also cool. I'm still naming every first born son Gideon though. :colbert:

E: I just got the immortality chain and the mystic that showed up is a 9 year old girl. :stare:

Honky Dong Country fucked around with this message at 04:48 on Mar 19, 2017

# ? Mar 19, 2017 03:42

Bloodly: Nov 3, 2008; Not as strong as you'd expect.

So the Childlike Empress is visiting from Fantastica, what of it? With as many stories as this game is creating, it was only a matter of time.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 05:02

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

Bloodly posted:

So the Childlike Empress is visiting from Fantastica, what of it? With as many stories as this game is creating, it was only a matter of time.

Yeah the text was talking about how she basically acted like a grown adult and talked about long ago poo poo like she'd experienced it herself. Later my ruler went on a walk with her while she talked about karma and I had a few choices concerning how to treat an old drunk hobo sleeping in a doorway. Then she sent me into the woods to meditate and fast. Whole time she's talking like any of the adult mystics that show up would. I don't think it's a random thing though because the writing even makes a point of underlining that she doesn't act like a kid at all.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 05:32

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

Honky Dong Country posted:

Yeah the text was talking about how she basically acted like a grown adult and talked about long ago poo poo like she'd experienced it herself. Later my ruler went on a walk with her while she talked about karma and I had a few choices concerning how to treat an old drunk hobo sleeping in a doorway. Then she sent me into the woods to meditate and fast. Whole time she's talking like any of the adult mystics that show up would. I don't think it's a random thing though because the writing even makes a point of underlining that she doesn't act like a kid at all.

Yeah, the learning-based immortal is always the kid. She's the only one who gives those particular tasks.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 05:35

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# ? May 30, 2024 00:47

The Cheshire Cat: Jun 10, 2008; Fun Shoe

I'm pretty sure all the mystics are pre-designated characters, so yeah, it's not like it just randomly generated a child character by accident. Especially considering one of the outcomes of the immortal chain is reincarnation instead of immortality.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 05:36

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

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