Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

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Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

Jesus where's this thread title from?!

# ? Mar 19, 2017 05:42

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# ? May 31, 2024 12:48

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

Honky Dong Country posted:

E: I just got the immortality chain and the mystic that showed up is a 9 year old girl.

If you choose the learning option (which is usually the best to take anyway), it's always a 9 year old Sinhala Buddhist.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 05:42

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

Some guy was a lunatic/possessed cannibal and got his characters mixed up, resulting in his devouring his pregnant wife instead of the intended...eh...meal.

This is a very CK2 thing to do, par for the course.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 05:47

Pakled: Aug 6, 2011; WE ARE SMART

Synthbuttrange posted:

Jesus where's this thread title from?!

Right here.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 05:48

TaurusTorus: Mar 27, 2010; Grab the bullshit by the horns

Yeah, that was me. The epilogue to the thread title is my character immediately got horny in seclusion and hosed his mother, then the plague passed and I didn't notice for like a year so I stayed sealed up and ate some people I didn't need to.

edit: then the black plague came around and killed off everyone in Italy so I inherited it.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 05:51

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

TaurusTorus posted:

Yeah, that was me. The epilogue to the thread title is my character immediately got horny in seclusion and hosed his mother, then the plague passed and I didn't notice for like a year so I stayed sealed up and ate some people I didn't need to.

edit: then the black plague came around and killed off everyone in Italy so I inherited it.

Oh god drat it, man.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 06:09

TaurusTorus: Mar 27, 2010; Grab the bullshit by the horns

Hey man, the event is you gently caress or don't gently caress, so I gently caress. I only learn the faces and names of people who stand to inherit.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 06:22

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

I was gonna say, are you sure, because events usually check for that, buuuut:

code:

	immediate = {
		set_character_flag = seclusion_lazy_seduction
		random_realm_character = {
			limit = {
				is_adult = yes
				is_opposite_sex = ROOT
				reverse_opinion = { who = ROOT value = 0 } 
				at_location = ROOT
				has_character_modifier = in_seclusion
				is_married = no
				is_consort = no
				has_lover = no
				can_marry = yes
			}
			save_event_target_as = target_courtier
		}
	}

Makes sure they're not married, but it's fine if they're blood relatives. Doesn't even check for proper attraction w.r.t. homosexuality, for that matter.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 08:46

Leinadi: Sep 14, 2009

How do people feel about Monks and Mystics? I loved Reapers's Due but people seem to feel a bit more divided on this one. I like the idea of it so I'm interested in buying it but how is the execution of it?

I'm sure there is some good lulz added but how is it in the long run?

# ? Mar 19, 2017 09:56

BravestOfTheLamps: Oct 12, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Lipstick Apathy

It feels very thin in content, especially compared to earlier releases.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 10:15

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

It's pretty well-done, but there's not a lot of it.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 10:22

Toadsniff: Apr 10, 2006; Fire Down Below: Crab Company 2

Benedictines and Dominicans are after thought garbage, they need a major overhaul and more diversity. Demon worshipers are the new easy mode, overpowered and completely ridiculous, they just have too many risk-less powers. Hermetics are alright, but incredibly incomplete.

You can tell they spent a lot of time messing with the mechanics, and not a lot in the various societies.

Highlights:

�Kidnap the pope and sacrifice him yearly for dark power farming.
�Sacrifice any prisoner without a tyranny or opinion penalty :downsbravo:

�Right click tiny, obscure shield of this church to desecrate it (why do we need to do this after accepting the mission?)
�Possess everyone who opposes you, giving them a +50 opinion of you and complete obedience
�Heal yourself without a physician at will
�Ingredients sit in your treasury and have no current use.
�Benedictines and Dominican don't even have a tier one ability, their level 2 just makes you chaste..... :wtf:

# ? Mar 19, 2017 10:49

genericnick: Dec 26, 2012

Leinadi posted:

How do people feel about Monks and Mystics? I loved Reapers's Due but people seem to feel a bit more divided on this one. I like the idea of it so I'm interested in buying it but how is the execution of it?

I'm sure there is some good lulz added but how is it in the long run?

Rushed release was rushed.

Doomdark posted:

Monks and Mystics has now been out for almost a week and we�ve been busy checking out your feedback and bug reports. As usual, some adjustments and additions will be made to the game in the upcoming patch 2.7.1, which should be ready in a few weeks (sorry, can�t be more specific than that.) It�s going to be a fairly substantial update� I can�t share the full patch log yet, but I can tell you about some of the bigger things we�re doing.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 10:55

Ivan Shitskin: Nov 29, 2002

Toadsniff posted:

Demon worshipers are the new easy mode, overpowered and completely ridiculous, they just have too many risk-less powers.

Well it wasn't that way for me at least. I guess I was unlucky, with my character being exposed to the world as a witch by a random event not that long after he joined, giving a permanent -50 opinion hit with literally every character in the entire game. It made the game incredibly difficult for the rest of that character's lifetime, and I almost lost the game completely because of it.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 12:03

Snatch Duster: Feb 20, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Keep gavelkind by joining religion societies and going celebrate.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 14:05

Chuck_D: Aug 25, 2003

Okay, I have a few more semi-newbie questions.

My last one was how to get back at Italy when they randomly declared war on me, a small independent duchy in Corsica. Taking the suggestions from this thread, I backed a faction to overthrow the Italian king. The revolt was successful and apparently since I backed the faction, I was automatically enveloped into the Italian kingdom at the revolt's conclusion. I immediately started a faction to install myself as king, which was - amazingly - immediately successful. So, just like that, I'm king of Italy. Neat.

With the background done, on to my actual questions...

1. Is there any way to see what CB the AI uses to declare war on you? Twice now, Hungary has declared and I'm not sure on what grounds. France has done the same.

2. In all 3 cases, I've beaten back the enemy after smashing their armies and capturing a ton of their land. It seems silly and a-historical to me, that after expending thousands of lives to capture territories during these defensive wars, my only "victory" is prestige and gold. I'd expect to be able to negotiate to keep some of that land, but that doesn't seem to be the case. If you, as an aggressor, have nothing but prestige and a few bucks to lose, where are the consequences for starting an unnecessary war? Am I missing something, or is there a way to keep that land, or get more out of a defensive war?

3. I pretty frequently find myself suddenly at war with the Byzantines while not receiving the traditional insult-cum-war-declaration. Gradually, I am beginning to hate them. My armies can pretty much go toe to toe with them, so I'd kind of like to wipe them off the map. Short of fabricating claims province by province, are there any good ways to smash them?

# ? Mar 19, 2017 15:22

Oh dear me: Aug 14, 2012; I have burned numerous saucepans, sometimes right through the metal

Gewehr 43 posted:

1. Is there any way to see what CB the AI uses to declare war on you? Twice now, Hungary has declared and I'm not sure on what grounds. France has done the same.

Click on the little icon of the person you're at war with at the bottom right of your screen. The window that comes up has an explanation of the war in the title.

quote:

I'd expect to be able to negotiate to keep some of that land, but that doesn't seem to be the case. If you, as an aggressor, have nothing but prestige and a few bucks to lose, where are the consequences for starting an unnecessary war?

The money involved can get pretty large, and prestige matters a lot to tribals. All the same I agree, it would be nice to be able to demand a province.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 15:31

Carcer: Aug 7, 2010

Try to get some claims on your aggressors. They'll have a truce with you, but you won't have a truce with them since you were the defender and can happily take advantage of the fact they've just had their armies smashed into tiny pieces by your obviously superior forces.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 15:41

Tevery Best: Oct 11, 2013; Hewlo Furriend

So I'm playing as Greater Poland, converted to Catholic, formed the Kingdom of Poland, and want to declare a Holy War for Lesser Poland. The enemy chief is Tribal and has 1100 troops - I should be able to take him any day of the week.

Then he gets 7 000 event spawned troops, including some 2 000 heavy infantry :suicide:

Can anyone tell me what the hell happened here?

# ? Mar 19, 2017 16:02

Carcer: Aug 7, 2010

All defensive pagans (Slavs, Romuva, soumenesko, some others I can't remember.) can get tribal troops (2500 for 500 prestige) and holy defenders (2000 or so for 200 piety). You have to be really careful to check your target that he has less than 500 prestige AND less than 200 piety or he's going to pull 10000 troops out of his rear end and destroy you.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 16:11

Necroskowitz: Jan 20, 2011

Tevery Best posted:

Can anyone tell me what the hell happened here?

Poland cannot into Poland.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 16:11

Tevery Best: Oct 11, 2013; Hewlo Furriend

Carcer posted:

All defensive pagans (Slavs, Romuva, soumenesko, some others I can't remember.) can get tribal troops (2500 for 500 prestige) and holy defenders (2000 or so for 200 piety). You have to be really careful to check your target that he has less than 500 prestige AND less than 200 piety or he's going to pull 10000 troops out of his rear end and destroy you.

I mean, sure, I'd understand that. But can those actually include Heavy Infantry?

# ? Mar 19, 2017 16:37

AG3: Feb 4, 2004; Ask me about spending hundreds of dollars on Mass Effect 2 emoticons and Avatars.; Oven Wrangler

Why can Satan regrow my dick but not cure me of rabies, even when it says it was successful? :saddowns:

# ? Mar 19, 2017 16:39

Chexoid: Nov 5, 2009; Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.

AG3 posted:

Why can Satan regrow my dick but not cure me of Rabies,

This game is really good.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 16:39

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

AG3 posted:

Why can Satan regrow my dick but not cure me of rabies, even when it says it was successful?

You've got it backwards friend, you gotta chop your dick off and that cures the rabies. Then you pray for Satan to give you a new dick for Antichristmas. Don't feel bad, champ, it's a common mistake.

Chexoid posted:

This game is really good.

Also this because lol

# ? Mar 19, 2017 16:45

Carcer: Aug 7, 2010

Tevery Best posted:

I mean, sure, I'd understand that. But can those actually include Heavy Infantry?

Yes, as you have experienced. I'm not sure of the exact breakdowns of each army but I think its 400 heavy infantry per stack.

Don't gently caress with defensive pagans lightly.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 17:16

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

AG3 posted:

Why can Satan regrow my dick but not cure me of rabies, even when it says it was successful?

Also cannot cure incapable.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 17:29

Buschmaki: Dec 26, 2012; ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿Lean Addict︵‿︵‿︵‿

Gewehr 43 posted:

3. I pretty frequently find myself suddenly at war with the Byzantines while not receiving the traditional insult-cum-war-declaration. Gradually, I am beginning to hate them. My armies can pretty much go toe to toe with them, so I'd kind of like to wipe them off the map. Short of fabricating claims province by province, are there any good ways to smash them?

The best way to destroy kingdoms in this game is to marry people with inheritable claims to them and then pressing them. The children of the emperor all get a claim on the Byzantine Empire when they die, so marrying a byzantine princess and waiting a generation for the claims to pass on is usually the quickest way.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 17:59

spectralent: Oct 1, 2014; Me and the boys poppin' down to the shops

Tevery Best posted:

I mean, sure, I'd understand that. But can those actually include Heavy Infantry?

I know holy orders do at least.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 18:20

Toadsniff: Apr 10, 2006; Fire Down Below: Crab Company 2

Azuth0667 posted:

Also cannot cure incapable.

I used dark healing to cure my incapable 30 martial Emperor after he got his block knocked off.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 19:59

Marshal Prolapse: Jun 23, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Toadsniff posted:

Benedictines and Dominicans are after thought garbage, they need a major overhaul and more diversity. Demon worshipers are the new easy mode, overpowered and completely ridiculous, they just have too many risk-less powers. Hermetics are alright, but incredibly incomplete.

You can tell they spent a lot of time messing with the mechanics, and not a lot in the various societies.

Highlights:

�Kidnap the pope and sacrifice him yearly for dark power farming.
�Sacrifice any prisoner without a tyranny or opinion penalty
�Right click tiny, obscure shield of this church to desecrate it (why do we need to do this after accepting the mission?)
�Possess everyone who opposes you, giving them a +50 opinion of you and complete obedience
�Heal yourself without a physician at will
�Ingredients sit in your treasury and have no current use.
�Benedictines and Dominican don't even have a tier one ability, their level 2 just makes you chaste.....

Don't shame my playthrough. I love abduct and sacrifice, but yeah I recognize it's op as hell. Fun though.

I can never kidnap an actual pope though, just a pretender.

Is abduct governed by distance and title rank? I haven't quote figured out what allows you to have the abduct option vs it being grayed out.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 20:19

Tehan: Jan 19, 2011

I started as some minor tribal in Ireland and almost immediately went Satanist in the hope of kidnapping and sacrificing my rival, the local bishop.

Turned out he was the High Priest.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 21:09

WeedlordGoku69: Feb 12, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Tehan posted:

I started as some minor tribal in Ireland and almost immediately went Satanist in the hope of kidnapping and sacrificing my rival, the local bishop.

Turned out he was the High Priest.

High Priests aren't immune to fuckery, you just have to be a tiny bit less direct. Get to the point where you have Tainted Touch and give the fucker cancer; if that somehow fails, just assassinate him the normal way.

e: if you have a character with really high Intrigue, there's a solid chance you're next in line for High Priest anyways, so it might be worth just assassinating him with a plot instead of waiting for Tainted Touch.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 21:20

Carcer: Aug 7, 2010

Just stab him conventionally. Ever time I've wanted him out of the way the plot power against him has been huge, like 300% at least. I suspect the ai picks up lots of bad traits and is then a dick to everyone if they get the chance.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 22:49

Snatch Duster: Feb 20, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

So messalians secretly whorship God if they join the Satanist cult since messalians already worship Lucifer by defualt.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 23:18

Main Paineframe: Oct 27, 2010

Gewehr 43 posted:

2. In all 3 cases, I've beaten back the enemy after smashing their armies and capturing a ton of their land. It seems silly and a-historical to me, that after expending thousands of lives to capture territories during these defensive wars, my only "victory" is prestige and gold. I'd expect to be able to negotiate to keep some of that land, but that doesn't seem to be the case. If you, as an aggressor, have nothing but prestige and a few bucks to lose, where are the consequences for starting an unnecessary war? Am I missing something, or is there a way to keep that land, or get more out of a defensive war?

There are two main downsides to losing an offensive war. First of all, you lose all the money you spent on army upkeep and mercenaries, plus an extra chunk of money for losing the war. Second, you've had your levies toasted, your vassals are annoyed because you raised their levies, and you likely don't have money to hire more mercs, so now you're a very tempting target for both internal and external enemies. If you bite off more than you can chew and expend too much of your military power, you may not pay much for losing that war (though the money you lose will sting real hard if you already emptied your treasury via mercs), but you'll be vulnerable to other people's offensive wars for a while after.

# ? Mar 20, 2017 00:08

DMW45: Oct 29, 2011; Come into my parlor~
Said the spider to the fly~

In my first game after MnM, I went Satanist, got all the way to priest, then immediately started plotting to assassinate the high priest to steal that title.

Only for him to immediately voluntarily step down and give me the title.

# ? Mar 20, 2017 01:23

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

Snatch Duster posted:

So messalians secretly whorship God if they join the Satanist cult since messalians already worship Lucifer by defualt.

Seriously? That's a nice touch.

Thing that puts me off a messalian gimmick playthrough is the inbreeding mechanics. Even with the divine marriage thing pushing them towards lunatic instead of inbred, they're still 100% drooling nincompoops in 3 generations or so, and messalians don't have concubines to act as a relief valve.

# ? Mar 20, 2017 01:54

Punished Chuck: Dec 27, 2010

Main Paineframe posted:

There are two main downsides to losing an offensive war. First of all, you lose all the money you spent on army upkeep and mercenaries, plus an extra chunk of money for losing the war. Second, you've had your levies toasted, your vassals are annoyed because you raised their levies, and you likely don't have money to hire more mercs, so now you're a very tempting target for both internal and external enemies. If you bite off more than you can chew and expend too much of your military power, you may not pay much for losing that war (though the money you lose will sting real hard if you already emptied your treasury via mercs), but you'll be vulnerable to other people's offensive wars for a while after.

Just to build on what you said a little, your vassals aren't hurt as bad by a failed offensive war as you are since they only give you a fraction of their levies. Since your strength compared to the strength of your vassals is the biggest part of whether or not your factions rebel, and I think has an influence on whether or not people join a faction at all, one bad offensive war can spiral out of control into bad internal trouble.

# ? Mar 20, 2017 01:54

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# ? May 31, 2024 12:48

ToxicSlurpee: Nov 5, 2003; -=SEND HELP=-; Pillbug

BenRGamer posted:

In my first game after MnM, I went Satanist, got all the way to priest, then immediately started plotting to assassinate the high priest to steal that title.

Only for him to immediately voluntarily step down and give me the title.

"Whoa dude, you're plotting to kill me to take over? You're a bigger bastard than I'll ever be. Here you go buddy, you deserve it."

# ? Mar 20, 2017 02:00

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