/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Bubblyblubber posted:

Me [1Aphid] with my gf/herder [2European Yellow Meadow Ant], her constant milking of my alimentary canal terminations with her rough antennae are making me rethink our mutualistic relationship

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:13

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# ? May 16, 2024 23:40

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Bubblyblubber posted:

Me [1Aphid] with my gf/herder [2European Yellow Meadow Ant], her constant milking of my alimentary canal terminations with her rough antennae are making me rethink our mutualistic relationship

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:15

TheKennedys: Sep 23, 2006; By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet

Bubblyblubber posted:

Me [1Aphid] with my gf/herder [2European Yellow Meadow Ant], her constant milking of my alimentary canal terminations with her rough antennae are making me rethink our mutualistic relationship

surprised that this was not a Pick post

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:38

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Pick posted:

Women love popping zits. It's one of those strict universals. We love it and we'll do it all the time.

This is so incredibly weird and gross to me. What's the appeal?

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:49

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

fruit on the bottom posted:

This is so incredibly weird and gross to me. What's the appeal?

It's the same satisfaction as pulling botflies out of mice. And I can say that as a fact.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:49

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Pick posted:

It's the same satisfaction as pulling botflies out of mice. And I can say that as a fact.

I will accept that this technically answers my question while at the same time leaving me as befuddled as before.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:51

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

fruit on the bottom posted:

I will accept that this technically answers my question while at the same time leaving me as befuddled as before.

It is allogrooming.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:51

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

fruit on the bottom posted:

I will accept that this technically answers my question while at the same time leaving me as befuddled as before.

Let me explain it to you in a way you're sure to understand. It's the same satisfaction as licking a butthole spotless

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:52

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Can confirm, women love popping zits and blackheads, every friend girl and girlfriend I've had wanted to pop my zits when I was growing up (I had a shitload on my back, face was spared by goddamn does my upper-back look like a minefield) and even up to now, I'm 31 and occasionally get zits on my face and fiancee LOVES to deal with them. She also likes pulling random hairs that grow on my upper back, pretty sure the massive acne I had on my back caused nearly no hair to grow there, but there are a couple dozen that have decided to fight the scars and pop out anyway.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:53

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

MF_James posted:

Can confirm, women love popping zits and blackheads, every friend girl and girlfriend I've had wanted to pop my zits when I was growing up (I had a shitload on my back, face was spared by goddamn does my upper-back look like a minefield) and even up to now, I'm 31 and occasionally get zits on my face and fiancee LOVES to deal with them. She also likes pulling random hairs that grow on my upper back, pretty sure the massive acne I had on my back caused nearly no hair to grow there, but there are a couple dozen that have decided to fight the scars and pop out anyway.

My experience is actually the same wrt to women. Tonight I'm gonna sit my girlfriend down and let her get at the blackheads on my back. She's going to be loving ecstatic. Maybe I should just save it for her birthday and then I wouldn't have to actually buy her anything

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:04

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

Pick posted:

Women love popping zits. It's one of those strict universals. We love it and we'll do it all the time.

wtf

no

no no no no no

no

edit:

MF_James posted:

Can confirm, women love popping zits and blackheads, every friend girl and girlfriend I've had wanted to pop my zits when I was growing up (I had a shitload on my back, face was spared by goddamn does my upper-back look like a minefield) and even up to now, I'm 31 and occasionally get zits on my face and fiancee LOVES to deal with them.

Play posted:

My experience is actually the same wrt to women. Tonight I'm gonna sit my girlfriend down and let her get at the blackheads on my back. She's going to be loving ecstatic.

of all the ways i consider myself unfeminine, this has got to be the least obvious

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:12

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPPkGS4RZ-c

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:14

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Women are yucky

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:15

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Pick posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPPkGS4RZ-c

"Dr. Pimple Popper, you are hereby stripped of your medical license. May god have mercy on your soul."

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:17

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Play posted:

"Dr. Pimple Popper, you are hereby stripped of your medical license. May god have mercy on your soul."

She's an actual doctor, a dermatologist.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:18

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Play posted:

Let me explain it to you in a way you're sure to understand. It's the same satisfaction as licking a butthole spotless

Oh ok. I don't know why Pick didn't just say that in the first place.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:21

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Pick posted:

She's an actual doctor, a dermatologist.

Well with a name like that it was pretty much foreordained huh?

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:23

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I have never licked an rear end, and I never intend to. The closest was when I had to give my cat enemas because he got his poopoos backed up from stress when we moved. I also lubricated his anus with my finger so the enema tube would go in more easily, and he cried like we're not friends.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:23

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Pick posted:

I have never licked an rear end, and I never intend to. The closest was when I had to give my cat enemas because he got his poopoos backed up from stress when we moved. I also lubricated his anus with my finger so the enema tube would go in more easily, and he cried like we're not friends.

I understand how he feels the same thing happened to me and caused me to seriously reevaluate that particular friendship

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:25

timefly: Apr 29, 2008

YeahTubaMike posted:

wtf

no

no no no no no

no

edit:

of all the ways i consider myself unfeminine, this has got to be the least obvious

I don't get it either. My boyfriend on the other hand likes to search me for zits to pop :shrug:

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:25

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

does every relationship have a designated zit-popper? no wonder every guy i've ever dated has dumped me :smith:

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:27

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Pick posted:

I have never licked an rear end, and I never intend to. The closest was when I had to give my cat enemas because he got his poopoos backed up from stress when we moved. I also lubricated his anus with my finger so the enema tube would go in more easily, and he cried like we're not friends.

Don't do it like a broken record every time but every once in a while really lets the person know you accept every part of their body.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:27

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Pick posted:

I have never licked an rear end, and I never intend to. The closest was when I had to give my cat enemas because he got his poopoos backed up from stress when we moved. I also lubricated his anus with my finger so the enema tube would go in more easily, and he cried like we're not friends.

At least the cat didn't do it to himself.

Bf [25 M] gave himself an enema in my [26 F] house's bathtub...am I overreacting?

quote:

u/Throwaway4Lunch
I have been going out with my boyfriend, Robby, for about 8 months now. He spends about two nights a week at my place (a house with a few other people in it) and I usually spend a night a week at his apartment.

This week he was staying over, we had sex, and then he went to the bathroom. I had to go to and asked him if I could come in. He said "he was using the tub" and that I could come in if I wanted. I did and was really shocked that he was giving himself an enema. I saw that he was squatting on the edge of the tub with a tube coming out of his butt.

I'm not sure why but I like started retching at this arrangement. I've never seen someone give themselves an enema before no less know that Robby did that...in my tub. I didn't know how to react and just left while he finished up. When he came out he tried to comfort me or whatever but it just felt gross.

This was a problem in and of itself but I was also grossed out by the bathtub, which now what his enema...stuff...in it. I asked him if he had done it before and he said that he had but he usually cleaned up or whatever. This to me seems really disrespectful. Like why would you do an enema in someone else's bathtub without asking? We argued about it and he just kept repeating that it's clean but for me it was a bigger issue than that. I wouldn't eat off of a counter someone had poo poo on even if they then cleaned up the poo poo.

Am I overreacting here? I don't really want to talk to my friends about it for obvious reasons.

tl;dr: I walked in on my bf giving himself an enema in my bathtub. Am I right to feel that this is disrespectful?

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:27

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

YeahTubaMike posted:

of all the ways i consider myself unfeminine, this has got to be the least obvious

Never popped a zit on another person, never intend to, cannot even conceive of why I would want to

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:27

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Well I'm never doing an enema in my own tub that's for drat sure so

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:29

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

YeahTubaMike posted:

does every relationship have a designated zit-popper? no wonder every guy i've ever dated has dumped me

He yearned for this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTmaf0jggF8

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:29

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Pick posted:

I have never licked an rear end, and I never intend to. The closest was when I had to give my cat enemas because he got his poopoos backed up from stress when we moved. I also lubricated his anus with my finger so the enema tube would go in more easily, and he cried like we're not friends.

Also do the chant in your head "thine inner freak I summon thee" lick three times and their genie comes out to grant you three sexwishes.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:30

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

Pick posted:

He yearned for this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTmaf0jggF8

guess i'll be single forever :shrug:

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:32

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

YeahTubaMike posted:

guess i'll be single forever

Good news! I've never seen a pimple popping slash fic!

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:36

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Pick posted:

I have never licked an rear end, and I never intend to. The closest was when I had to give my cat enemas because he got his poopoos backed up from stress when we moved. I also lubricated his anus with my finger so the enema tube would go in more easily, and he cried like we're not friends.

Butt stuff is good when it's being done by two consenting adults, not with a cat.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:36

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

There's an update to enema boy, and it's a bitch of a tease:

[UPDATE] Bf [25 M] gave himself an enema in my [26 F] house's bathtub...am I overreacting?

quote:

u/Throwaway4Lunch
Original post here: /r/relationships/comments/3weiyh/bf_25_m_gave_himself_an_enema_in_my_26_f_houses/

What I took away from the last thread was that he was being disrespectful but he may not have been making GBS threads in my tub or he might have a legitimate medical reason he was just embarrassed about. At the time I had just assumed he would have told me about ulcerative collitis or some such disease after we had been together for so long but it's possible I didn't know.

So I contacted him for the first time after the incident the day before yesterday. He didn't pick up his phone so I left a message explaining that what he did was disrespectful but I should have asked him if there was a medical reason, etc. Basically I didn't want to let him off the hook for his weird behavior but I let him know we could work on acceptance and improving communication. I left him a few text messages too but they were also unresponded to. It was really concerning that he wouldn't respond to this stuff and I got worried but I figured he must have had a good reason since it was the busy time of the work week for him.

Yesterday I got a long email from him that detailed his reasons for breaking up. It feels like it came totally out of the blue and I feel like such a bitch. It read:

"[OP],

I need to end our relationship for both of our goods. It's become clear that we are incompatible and I can't let us waste more time convincing ourselves otherwise.

The incident last week has shown that our communication skills and lifestyles are simply not on the same page. I'm not sure how to say it in any other way. Neither of us were in the wrong but we just can't coexist.

After this message goes out I'll block you from my devices and Facebook. This isn't because I hate you but rather because we both need time to move on and not get stuck on the past. Please don't contact me and I will try my best to contact you. Any items of mine left at your place are not worth me picking up; you can have them. I am very sure that none of your items are at my place so there should be no reason for you to come over.

I wish you the very best in your future. I'm sorry it had to end this way.

Robby"

I am a sobbing wreck right now. I feel like this is totally unprovoked. I tried my best to be understanding and communicate but I guess I just suck at it in ways I can't understand. If he's really serious about the break-up I know he's right about no-contact but I just want to hear his voice and apologize for whatever I did. Is there an obvious way that I pushed him away so quickly? I just want to understand.

tl;dr: I tried to apologize for overreacting and tell him I can work through whatever caused the enema. Bf broke up with me through email and has requested no-contact.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:36

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

"a girl didn't let me poo poo in her tub"

SA: :sever:

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:38

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Bubblyblubber posted:

There's an update to enema boy, and it's a bitch of a tease:

[UPDATE] Bf [25 M] gave himself an enema in my [26 F] house's bathtub...am I overreacting?

Haha I love this guy managing to seize the emotional high ground after douching his rear end in a top hat in his girlfriend's shared bathtub

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:43

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

Pick posted:

Good news! I've never seen a pimple popping slash fic!

oh you sweet summer child

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:43

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

lol he seems to have the breakup routine after the "accidental" enema reveal pretty well choreographed and rehearsed

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:43

Gloryhold It!: Sep 22, 2008; Fucking
Adorable

Pick posted:

"a girl didn't let me poo poo in her tub"

SA:

Well, someone should sever if a guy's bitching about that.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:47

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Clark Nova posted:

lol he seems to have the breakup routine after the "accidental" enema reveal pretty well choreographed and rehearsed

hahaha "I am very sure that none of your items are at my place (because I brought them back to yours along with all my enema toolkit)'

# ? Mar 23, 2017 01:58

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

YeahTubaMike posted:

oh you sweet summer child

Oh I forgot that weird personal care fics are a huge thing.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 02:02

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Antivehicular posted:

Never popped a zit on another person, never intend to, cannot even conceive of why I would want to

girls love popping zits on other people as much as boys love pissing outdoors. we all have our gross habits

# ? Mar 23, 2017 02:03

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# ? May 16, 2024 23:40

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

this thread is now about /r/popping

# ? Mar 23, 2017 02:21

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