Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

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TheCIASentMe: Jul 11, 2003; I'll get you! Just you wait and see!

Jedit posted:

When this happens it's usually because your chancellor has been busily sucking Muslim dick for 25 years. As soon as the Caliph dies his heir will lose all the positive modifiers and revoke you. I'd be prepared to break away before then, or go Secret Zorro.

This should be an achievement or something. Completing several plots as a secret Zorastrian against your leige who is the emperor of Spain.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 19:36

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# ? May 31, 2024 19:44

Walton Simons: May 16, 2010; ELECTRONIC OLD MEN RUNNING THE WORLD

I've now spent over �70 on this game :shepface:

Still, 134 hours of actual gameplay (I time it because I'm weird) so decent value. Better than when I bought Sins of a Solar Empire on release and only ever played the tutorial.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 19:44

Benagain: Oct 10, 2007; Can you see that I am serious?; Fun Shoe

Picked up this game after a long break. Went 1056 Apulia to Sicily for an easy road back in.

1156 I finish crushing a civil war, get crushed by the byznatines, expel the jewry to eliminate my war debt, get jihad declared for Sicily, then the Aztecs show up in Ireland and Morocco. Which has at least distracted the jihad.

It's good to be back.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 20:54

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

Benagain posted:

Picked up this game after a long break. Went 1056 Apulia to Sicily for an easy road back in.

1156 I finish crushing a civil war, get crushed by the byznatines, expel the jewry to eliminate my war debt, get jihad declared for Sicily, then the Aztecs show up in Ireland and Morocco. Which has at least distracted the jihad.

It's good to be back.

Now brazen bull your half brother and sacrifice a few kids to Satan.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 21:35

winterwerefox: Apr 23, 2010; The next movie better not make me shave anything

Norse start as a custom Jarl in Sweden. I get inducted into the Society of Hel because Lustful. Yes, Lustful Viking is bad, and against Odin. I'm sure. Sarcasm aside, Is there any reason I'd allow the rest of the Society to live? Ive been using Plot to Kill to take out other members, imprisoning and executing others that get too arrogant. Im wondering whats keeping me form making it Sith Lord and Apprentice?

# ? Mar 22, 2017 21:40

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

winterwerefox posted:

Norse start as a custom Jarl in Sweden. I get inducted into the Society of Hel because Lustful. Yes, Lustful Viking is bad, and against Odin. I'm sure. Sarcasm aside, Is there any reason I'd allow the rest of the Society to live? Ive been using Plot to Kill to take out other members, imprisoning and executing others that get too arrogant. Im wondering whats keeping me form making it Sith Lord and Apprentice?

The larger and more influential the society is the more likely they are to succeed at things like abductions. I generally only whack other devil-worshippers if they're in a position to hurt me and hate my guts, which isn't very often. I usually make a concerted effort to recruit even. Like when I plot to murder somebody I try to recruit everybody I can in their court and among their vassals. As a Catholic I'm always trying to corrupt and recruit the College of Cardinals and bishops in line for a red hat. A strong Satanic cult is good for all Satanists.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 21:49

Sultan Tarquin: Jul 29, 2007; and what kind of world would it be? HUH?!

How can I kill myself as fast as possible. My heir is my genius brother who I was grooming to be my original heir but I died and I became my older, not-genius son.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 22:47

Walton Simons: May 16, 2010; ELECTRONIC OLD MEN RUNNING THE WORLD

I have a weird thing going on with faction strength. One guy wants to overthrow me. I have 9,000 troops, him about 3,500, but he's listed at 110% my strength. I know there's extra bits added in to account for his vassal levies and stuff but I'm not seeing how it can come to him being stronger than me? I'm Deus Vulting in Saxony so it's important to know when I need to pull back.

Walton Simons fucked around with this message at 22:54 on Mar 22, 2017

# ? Mar 22, 2017 22:52

Crow Jane: Oct 18, 2012; nothin' wrong with a lady drinkin' alone in her room

Sultan Tarquin posted:

How can I kill myself as fast as possible. My heir is my genius brother who I was grooming to be my original heir but I died and I became my older, not-genius son.

If you manage to get the Depressed trait (which can come about as the result of a lot of different events, like the falconry/poetry one), you have the option of committing suicide

# ? Mar 22, 2017 22:58

Rynoto: Apr 27, 2009; It doesn't help that I'm fat as fuck, so my face shouldn't be shown off in the first place.

Sultan Tarquin posted:

How can I kill myself as fast as possible. My heir is my genius brother who I was grooming to be my original heir but I died and I became my older, not-genius son.

Make your brother your spymaster then do a bunch of poo poo to make everyone hate you, the knife in the back won't take long.

Revoking titles and imprisoning/executing annoying vassals is always good so your heir doesn't have to deal with them.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 23:03

Crow Jane: Oct 18, 2012; nothin' wrong with a lady drinkin' alone in her room

If you invite someone with the plague or smallpox to your court, do they take the disease with them? Course that'd probably just wind up killing your genius brother and leaving your lame dude super healthy because the court physician threw bees at him :v:

# ? Mar 22, 2017 23:09

Sultan Tarquin: Jul 29, 2007; and what kind of world would it be? HUH?!

Rynoto posted:

Make your brother your spymaster then do a bunch of poo poo to make everyone hate you, the knife in the back won't take long.

Revoking titles and imprisoning/executing annoying vassals is always good so your heir doesn't have to deal with them.

I couldn't make him because he was the duke of another duchy but I just died in battle after my vassal rebelled when I tried to revoke his title. Everything turned out okay!

# ? Mar 22, 2017 23:14

Baron Porkface: Jan 22, 2007

Do Jews get the attrition penalty when raiding pagans? Doesn't that make Khazaria near impossible?

# ? Mar 22, 2017 23:16

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

Sultan Tarquin posted:

How can I kill myself as fast as possible. My heir is my genius brother who I was grooming to be my original heir but I died and I became my older, not-genius son.

Just abdicate instead of killing yourself. Attempt to imprison someone and then surrender to the revolt. It'll make your heir take over, but your original ruler will still be alive. The benefit of doing it that way is that you'll have an extra heir, which I usually like having extras around.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 23:18

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

binge crotching posted:

Just abdicate instead of killing yourself. Attempt to imprison someone and then surrender to the revolt. It'll make your heir take over, but your original ruler will still be alive. The benefit of doing it that way is that you'll have an extra heir, which I usually like having extras around.

(Exception: don't do this if your original ruler has sky high Intrigue)

# ? Mar 22, 2017 23:23

Walton Simons: May 16, 2010; ELECTRONIC OLD MEN RUNNING THE WORLD

This is getting really odd. Another faction has popped up and the game thinks their 500 men is 14% of my 9,500 men. What gives?

Imgur isn't working properly for me so you'll just have to take my word for it. I have 9,500 guys, he has 3,000. 3,000 isn't 110% of 9,500 and I can't figure out what's up.

e: It just went back to normal, that was weird :shrug:

Walton Simons fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Mar 22, 2017

# ? Mar 22, 2017 23:27

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

Walton Simons posted:

This is getting really odd. Another faction has popped up and the game thinks their 500 men is 14% of my 9,500 men. What gives?

Imgur isn't working properly for me so you'll just have to take my word for it. I have 9,500 guys, he has 3,000. 3,000 isn't 110% of 9,500 and I can't figure out what's up.

e: It just went back to normal, that was weird

It's probably taking their vassal contribution out, but even accounting for that, I've noticed the strength comparison being about 50% higher than it should be.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:05

Walton Simons: May 16, 2010; ELECTRONIC OLD MEN RUNNING THE WORLD

Yeah, he was only contributing about 500 to me so I don't get it. Weirdness from recent patches resolving itself, maybe?

Just noticed I can join in on a revolter's war to take down one of my immediate vassals, which is great, I could really do with knocking this guy down a few pegs since he's going to end up in charge of the Empire thanks to elective (he's way older than me but I'm not taking chances with Reaper's Due). Never noticed that before.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:09

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Baron Porkface posted:

Do Jews get the attrition penalty when raiding pagans? Doesn't that make Khazaria near impossible?

Consolidate some steppe land, fill it by using the horde humiliate cassus belli, and you can make a horde that can just nuke tribal holdings on day one you're in the province. Its easiest with Khazaria ascendant in the Old Gods start.

Of course the pagan land kind of sucks because you can get grazing land with no strings from other steppe hordes or turn Orthodox/Sunni countries into grazing land with the razing issues but get tech so the pagan land turns into slightly difficult grazing land to score and you need to raze it and only get cash or prestige or something instead of the tech you can't get anywhere else. Its only really worth it if threat closes you off from other theaters.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:10

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

Holy smokes the Byzantines shouldn't have this easy a time forbidding outside wars.

This used to be a function of the highest level of Crown Authority that basically led to endless rebellions for extremely good reasons and they're able to do it on their second ruler and as far as I can tell, nothing will then change that. I'm pretty sure that you can't even change it with an "Increase Council Power" faction and it's incredibly, incredibly dumb as it makes playing as a Byzantine Vassal even worse. It was already pretty awful what with the Emperor sometimes just deciding to revoke all your titles but drat, this is extra irritating.

There should absolutely be a separate faction just for going "no, gently caress you, we want to do wars" with a high draw from anyone even remotely capable of engaging in it.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:27

Crow Jane: Oct 18, 2012; nothin' wrong with a lady drinkin' alone in her room

Can you start a faction to lower Crown Authority? My vassals try to pull that on me all the time

vvvv Ah, I don't have Conclave yet, that explains that

Crow Jane fucked around with this message at 00:52 on Mar 23, 2017

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:31

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

Crow Jane posted:

Can you start a faction to lower Crown Authority? My vassals try to pull that on me all the time

No, because those don't exist anymore post-Conclave.

Increasing Council power does absolutely nothing, as I discovered after waging a long and costly one against the shitlord Emperor because its under crown laws, not council laws.

There should seriously be either a sort of check for having a certain level of majesty/year/not having the war dec committee on that thing, by gawd.

The literally only way as far as I can tell is to get a favour with the Emperor, hope they haven't already changed the law and ask them to change it back. Seeing as they can do this loving instantly if they so desire, you will never be able to grow to any decent degree and so won't have any basis to get the cash or power needed for the favour.

It being only -10 Feudal opinion is the moronic cherry on top too. It should be at least that for everyone and double at least for feudals/merchant republics and probably triple for tribals.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 00:39

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

The No Internal Wars law really shouldn't be an option anymore now that there's Realm Peace. Agreed that if it IS going to be an option then it should only be available at the extreme high end/basically win condition of Abolished Council + Imperial Administration and automatically gets disabled if either of those things changes.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 02:15

Automated Posting: Jan 12, 2013

Eric the Mauve posted:

The No Internal Wars law really shouldn't be an option anymore now that there's Realm Peace. Agreed that if it IS going to be an option then it should only be available at the extreme high end/basically win condition of Abolished Council + Imperial Administration and automatically gets disabled if either of those things changes.

That is essentially how it works. In order to implement the war laws you need to have imperial administration on, which requires all council laws to be in the ruler's favor.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 02:43

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

gently caress I accidentally let my mercs go, not my vassal levies. There goes that Semien run; was gonna be able to get Aksum and swear to the Abbasids directly, which woulda sped poo poo up considerably.

Thems the breaks I suppose.

also

what a strange trick

Automated Posting posted:

That is essentially how it works. In order to implement the war laws you need to have imperial administration on, which requires all council laws to be in the ruler's favor.

Except the Byzantines start with those at every start date. So each start date is now only at most 2 rulers away from no wars whatsoever with no recourse for players.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 02:46

Dallan Invictus: Oct 11, 2007; The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes, look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

Deceitful Penguin posted:

Except the Byzantines start with those at every start date. So each start date is now only at most 2 rulers away from no wars whatsoever with no recourse for players.

I mean, you're playing in Byzantium, "plot a coup to replace the emperor and their bullshit laws" is not only a recourse, it's basically historically endorsed!

# ? Mar 23, 2017 03:14

Bloody Pom: Jun 5, 2011

Trying out new things in CK2+, and Apostolic Armenia can become quite the powerhouse in 867 when/if the Abbasids implode.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 03:35

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

why is having syphilis stopping me from celebrating ramadan

Paradox seems to have the oddest ideas about Muslims; can't party without alcohol, can't fast without being STD free....

# ? Mar 23, 2017 03:51

Pakled: Aug 6, 2011; WE ARE SMART

Deceitful Penguin posted:

why is having syphilis stopping me from celebrating ramadan

Paradox seems to have the oddest ideas about Muslims; can't party without alcohol, can't fast without being STD free....

Looking at the decision in minor_decisions.txt

code:

allow = {
	war = no
	prisoner = no
	NOT = { is_inaccessible_trigger = yes }
	wealth = 100
	custom_tooltip = {
		text = IS_HEALTHY
		NOR = {
			is_ill = yes
			has_symptom_trigger = yes
		}
	}

It looks like any illness prevents you from observing Ramadan, not just Syphilis. If I remember correctly, Muslims aren't obligated to fast if they're sick, so that's probably the reasoning behind it.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 04:00

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

Pakled posted:

Looking at the decision in minor_decisions.txt
code:
allow = {
	war = no
	prisoner = no
	NOT = { is_inaccessible_trigger = yes }
	wealth = 100
	custom_tooltip = {
		text = IS_HEALTHY
		NOR = {
			is_ill = yes
			has_symptom_trigger = yes
		}
	}
It looks like any illness prevents you from observing Ramadan, not just Syphilis. If I remember correctly, Muslims aren't obligated to fast if they're sick.

No, yeah, I get that it is considered an illness and therefore makes me ineligible for Ramadan

I'm just kinda laughing at the idea that the guy is trying to explain why he isn't fasting because he has loving syphilis and that muslims can't celebrate ramadan while ill

Like I said, very odd ideas there at Paradox HQ

edit:

how the heck do I make my kids secretly Jewish

It seems a bit weird I can't pick to force my secret faith on my kids as an option? Isn't there supposed to be one?

Deceitful Penguin fucked around with this message at 04:08 on Mar 23, 2017

# ? Mar 23, 2017 04:03

slap me and kiss me: Apr 1, 2008; You best protect ya neck

Deceitful Penguin posted:

gently caress I accidentally let my mercs go, not my vassal levies. There goes that Semien run; was gonna be able to get Aksum and swear to the Abbasids directly, which woulda sped poo poo up considerably.

Thems the breaks I suppose.

also

what a strange trick

Except the Byzantines start with those at every start date. So each start date is now only at most 2 rulers away from no wars whatsoever with no recourse for players.

Never swear to the Abbasids.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 04:20

ShootaBoy: Jan 6, 2010; Anime is Bad.
_{Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.}

Hermetic missions are bullshit. I have never had a successful break and enter, I get caught every loving time. And then you can't even get a ransom because it automatically makes you a rival of the guy that caught you! It's idiotic!

# ? Mar 23, 2017 04:22

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

slap me and kiss me posted:

Never swear to the Abbasids.

The other choice is to be eaten apart by them really. If the start of the secret religion poo poo made any goddamn sense (i.e. your kids would falsely convert too, wtf) then it would be a hell of a lot simpler.

So long as you go on the Hajj, park your chancellor on him and then just make sure that you are strong enough to gently caress him over he's not a bad boss most of the time.

As is, I just lost because I tried the experimental treatment for syphilis because there's not other way of curing it apparently and it never enters remission but ended up dying and my Jewish kid couldn't falsely convert because of piety issues. The chain revocations then killed me.

What a loving way to go when I was two duchies away from Nubia. gently caress.

ShootaBoy posted:

Hermetic missions are bullshit. I have never had a successful break and enter, I get caught every loving time. And then you can't even get a ransom because it automatically makes you a rival of the guy that caught you! It's idiotic!

Has anyone ever studied the stars properly? I end up firing most of my council, making my wife loathe me only for my character to "HURR DURR HOW SKY WORK".

Having the observatory btw doesn't change poo poo.

Deceitful Penguin fucked around with this message at 04:30 on Mar 23, 2017

# ? Mar 23, 2017 04:25

slap me and kiss me: Apr 1, 2008; You best protect ya neck

Deceitful Penguin posted:

The other choice is to be eaten apart by them really. If the start of the secret religion poo poo made any goddamn sense (i.e. your kids would falsely convert too, wtf) then it would be a hell of a lot simpler.

So long as you go on the Hajj, park your chancellor on him and then just make sure that you are strong enough to gently caress him over he's not a bad boss most of the time.

As is, I just lost because I tried the experimental treatment for syphilis because there's not other way of curing it apparently and it never enters remission but ended up dying and my Jewish kid couldn't falsely convert because of piety issues. The chain revocations then killed me.

What a loving way to go when I was two duchies away from Nubia. gently caress.
Has anyone ever studied the stars properly? I end up firing most of my council, making my wife loathe me only for my character to "HURR DURR HOW SKY WORK".

Having the observatory btw doesn't change poo poo.

There's a third way.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 04:41

ShootaBoy: Jan 6, 2010; Anime is Bad.
_{Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.}

This is seriously bullshit. It's been a loving decade now. I'm just gonna have to sit here, in some pissant loving mayor's jail for the rest of my life, cause someone at Paradox thought it was a good idea to automatically make you the rival of the person that put you in prison. It's literally impossible to get out. Utter loving bullshit.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 04:56

Tehan: Jan 19, 2011

There was an event for me shortly after I got jailed during a failed heist where the rival came to me and offered me freedom if I gave him 300 philosophybux or whatever the hermetic currency is. Maybe it didn't fire properly for you.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 05:00

Morzhovyye: Mar 2, 2013

This new patch was made for me. Not even 15 years into a Charlemagne start and the umayyads have been overthrown by the shia while the abbasids had their first decadence revolt that they managed to lose to. Karl/Karloman are also both still alive. This is anti-blob heaven.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 05:09

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

Tehan posted:

There was an event for me shortly after I got jailed during a failed heist where the rival came to me and offered me freedom if I gave him 300 philosophybux or whatever the hermetic currency is. Maybe it didn't fire properly for you.

I didn't get that when I got caught same as they didn't

You can't even take intrigue and try and escape anymore or try and assassinate them

# ? Mar 23, 2017 05:43

kingturnip: Apr 18, 2008

Yep, my dude's wife got stuck in a Bishop's dungeon forever when she was maybe 27? My mistake for making her an Apprentice, I suppose.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 07:32

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# ? May 31, 2024 19:44

Morzhovyye: Mar 2, 2013

Is there any reason that the council shits the bed when dealing with investiture? I've got all of the council members as loyalists but I still have to bribe them to get them off of "undecided" which they all are and always results in a rejection of the law change. No other law acts like this.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 08:15

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

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