TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

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Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

it is said that to activate a manchurian candidate, one must say the following

China

Spent

People's

All

Money

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:24

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 6, 2024 16:37

MariusLecter: Sep 5, 2009; NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

Hold on, there's a article or something I ran into where some idiot argues that aliens in the alien franchise are silicon based lmao

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:24

quadrophrenic: Feb 4, 2011; WIN MARNIE WIN

musicpost

currently in kind of a severe herb alpert sort of thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Reb8hgeBecg

this song loving rules, gimme more good grandmarock thread

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:24

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

Sojenus posted:

would trump's "visitor" be a human-shaped suspension of piss or would even an unknowable alien entity recoil in horror at him

All I know is that if Trump's the first person they mind probe to assess us as a species we're hosed

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:24

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

FactsAreUseless posted:

No, that's who he's going down on.

lol like boring old jared could score a catch like justin

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:23

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

paranoid randroid posted:

could you take all your meat off before attempting to talk to us? we find it preferable to discuss things with your calcium deposits

"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"So ... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

"Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat."

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

"And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:24

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Can't
-
Stop
Posting
rear end
Memes

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:24

MariusLecter: Sep 5, 2009; NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

Lastgirl posted:

it is said that to activate a manchurian candidate, one must say the following

China

Spent

Al!'s

Money

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:25

Leviathan: Oct 8, 2001; _{I hear the jury's

still out.. on science.}; Fun Shoe

I did a thing posted:

I've always been found of the idea of Panspermia. Also that DNA/RNA being universal molecules for life.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panspermia

more talk about intergalactic cumshitting plz

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:24

I did a thing: Mar 23, 2017; On the chest of a barmaid in Sale, were tattooed the prices of ale. And on her behind for the sake of the blind, was the same information in braille.

Pop-o-Matic Trouble posted:

I watched Life yesterday. it was good if you can accept there are flamethrowers on the international space station

literally flame throwers? or did someone rig up a bunsen burner with an oxygen tank and increase the pressure?

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:25

oliwan: Jul 20, 2005; by Nyc_Tattoo

Like Dell’Elce, Lent said Trump was not to blame for the failure of the healthcare bill.

“He may be the best negotiator there is,” Lent said. “But he has to just rely on his own party and deal with the Freedom Caucus and all of the hardcore conservatives.

“Sometimes you have to meet in the middle, right of center. The Freedom Caucus should be able to do that. Paul Ryan’s healthcare plan may not have been the best healthcare plan there was but it was still better than Obamacare. Everyone should have met in the middle of right of center.”

🤔

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:24

Pozload Escobar: Aug 21, 2016; by Reene

FactsAreUseless posted:

Silicon shares a bunch in common with carbon, and it's possible there could be silicon-based life.

Gepetto with a really lifelike real doll.gifv

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:24

Rushi: Jun 2, 2003; by Smythe

MariusLecter posted:

Keep it up
Your av is neat :3

oh thank you c: i posted some doodles i made in byob one day and vanisher made that and its the coolest thing in the world

Lastgirl posted:

it is said that to activate a manchurian candidate, one must say the following

China

Spent

People's

All

Money

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:25

RealityWarCriminal: Aug 10, 2016

Squizzle posted:

"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"So ... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

"Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat."

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

"And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."

sir this is a spacedonalds. please warp through.

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:24

punchymcpunch: Oct 14, 2012

Careposts-Shitposts-Posts-Ambivalentposts-Mar-a-lagoposts

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:25

Sojenus: Dec 28, 2008

I did a thing posted:

I've always been found of the idea of Panspermia. Also that DNA/RNA being universal molecules for life.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panspermia

i love that lovely MS paint planet

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:25

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

MariusLecter posted:

al is forced to draw commissions of mspaint bob rossian landscapes so he can generate the top dollars china lost on him

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:26

Sojenus: Dec 28, 2008

i want to live there instead of this planet

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:26

Rushi: Jun 2, 2003; by Smythe

Big Beef City posted:

Can't
-
Stop
Posting
rear end
Memes

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH ok.

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:27

mormonpartyboat: Jan 14, 2015; by Reene

quadrophrenic posted:

musicpost

currently in kind of a severe herb alpert sort of thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Reb8hgeBecg

this song loving rules, gimme more good grandmarock thread

im listenign to

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AplhZ3Dpcwc

~And I'm a goddamn fool, but then again so are you
And the lion's roar, the lion's roar
Has me seeking out and searching for you
And I never really knew what to do~

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:27

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Rushi posted:

i just love posting so much

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:27

Jazerus: May 24, 2011

anyway most people who speculate about alternative biochemistries make huuuuuge assumptions in areas that aren't their primary area of expertise and so very few sources on this subject, even among journal articles and stuff, are very good/accurate

there are several elements that behave "enough like carbon" at a small scale to be really tempting to speculate about but all of them have very serious issues when you start thinking about how large molecule analogues like proteins and nucleic acids would work (they wouldn't)

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:26

HorseRenoir: Dec 25, 2011; Pillbug

https://twitter.com/tarapalmeri/status/845696980416430080

Trump's relationship with the congressional GOP is at an all time low, I'm sure firing the WH's one link to Congress will patch that right up

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:27

I did a thing: Mar 23, 2017; On the chest of a barmaid in Sale, were tattooed the prices of ale. And on her behind for the sake of the blind, was the same information in braille.

Leviathan posted:

more talk about intergalactic cumshitting plz

I'm extremely into seeding life on other planets.

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:28

Rushi: Jun 2, 2003; by Smythe

i literally shitpost trying to get a probe with a funny image and you guys are all just so nice :3:

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:28

RealityWarCriminal: Aug 10, 2016

I did a thing posted:

literally flame throwers? or did someone rig up a bunsen burner with an oxygen tank and increase the pressure?

in between i guess. they ripped it from the wall but it took like two seconds to modify before they started torching poo poo.

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:28

jBrereton: May 30, 2013; Grimey Drawer

Solarin posted:

I dunno I would guess they have to corroborate what anyone says with the intelligence they collected, and anybody they have seriously damning evidence would get cut a deal to fill in gaps

yeah this sounds more or less like the supergrass trials lol

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:28

MariusLecter: Sep 5, 2009; NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

Squizzle posted:

"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"So ... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

"Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat."

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

"And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."

Should be required reading in HS imo

Also while high

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:28

fits my needs: Jan 1, 2011; Grimey Drawer

so is flynn going to mysteriously die/disappear very soon?

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:28

quadrophrenic: Feb 4, 2011; WIN MARNIE WIN

why does life have to be made of complex molecules anyway

my skeleton is titanium and my blood is mercury and my nervous system is magic

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:28

mormonpartyboat: Jan 14, 2015; by Reene

rear end

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:28

Solarin: Nov 15, 2007

HorseRenoir posted:

https://twitter.com/tarapalmeri/status/845696980416430080

Trump's relationship with the congressional GOP is at an all time low, I'm sure firing the WH's one link to Congress will patch that right up

repeal and replace rancid pubis

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:28

Rushi: Jun 2, 2003; by Smythe

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:29

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

I finally understand why Carl Sagan insisted on sending a copy of "We're The Meatmen, And You Suck" out into space.

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:29

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

HorseRenoir posted:

https://twitter.com/tarapalmeri/status/845696980416430080

Trump's relationship with the congressional GOP is at an all time low, I'm sure firing the WH's one link to Congress will patch that right up

man Reince has been on the chopping block since november, they can't wait to get rid of him

this is a perfect excuse, they dont giv ea gently caress about congress, they will just shift the blame and say oh geez the swamp at comgress

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:29

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

au bon panspermia

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:29

Jazerus: May 24, 2011

thinking meat!?

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:29

Sojenus: Dec 28, 2008

i remember making my family watch a short film someone made of the meat story and they all hated it

bunch of philistines, i'll show them and vote for the candidate that's only qualification is being made of meat like other humans

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:30

white sauce: Apr 29, 2012; by R. Guyovich

Sojenus posted:

but gently caress diatoms *votes for acidification of ocean*

Suck it libs

Enjoy your dead ocean

*rolls coal*

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 6, 2024 16:37

Rushi: Jun 2, 2003; by Smythe

fits my needs posted:

so is flynn going to mysteriously die/disappear very soon?

yeah this the last couple days were a real season finale and cliffhanger for the next season on Monday of whatever the gently caress it is we follow

# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:30

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

«‹›7690 »