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XMNN posted:https://filiph.github.io/markov/ I love this. 
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Mar 26, 2017 22:08
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https://twitter.com/yashar/status/846037853788364800
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Mar 26, 2017 22:12
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Mar 26, 2017 22:21
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this isn't really a lol i just wanted to share it https://i.imgur.com/ni1Wz7Z.mp4
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Mar 26, 2017 22:49
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 This is a lol from the gbs photoshop thread and I wanted to share it here
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Mar 26, 2017 22:52
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Jose posted:this isn't really a lol i just wanted to share it this is the weirdest tic.
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Mar 26, 2017 22:55
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Jose posted:this isn't really a lol i just wanted to share it this is a lol because my grandma does the same thing constantly
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Mar 26, 2017 22:55
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Arrhythmia posted:this is a lol because my grandma does the same thing constantly It's a sign of Parkinson's I'm sorry to tell you friend
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Mar 26, 2017 22:55
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Jose posted:this isn't really a lol i just wanted to share it i do this im also that guys grandma
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Mar 26, 2017 22:59
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Arrhythmia posted:this is a lol because my grandma does the same thing constantly Your grandma is Donalb J Tromb?
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Mar 26, 2017 23:02
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https://twitter.com/Slate/status/846114314712989697 lol
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Mar 26, 2017 23:01
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Mar 26, 2017 23:03
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Is touching and rearranging everyone else's things a cool power move he learned from a lifetime of making deals at the highest levels?
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Mar 26, 2017 23:04
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I thought it was just an indirect way for him to distract people and to break their train of thought.
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Mar 26, 2017 23:09
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My name is Trump and I'm here to do two things: Get the BEST deals DONE and moving peoples glasses slightly away from myself. And I'm all. outta. deals. 
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Mar 26, 2017 23:09
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Dizz posted:I thought it was just an indirect way for him to distract people and to break their train of thought. He is retarded and has no impulse control
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Mar 26, 2017 23:13
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Blue Train posted:He is retarded and has no impulse control You ever watch Dexter's lab? He's didi
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Mar 26, 2017 23:14
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 Okay last one
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Mar 26, 2017 23:13
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Blue Train posted:It's a sign of Parkinson's I'm sorry to tell you friend lol that wouldn't even be her biggest problem
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Mar 26, 2017 23:15
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Krinkle posted:Is touching and rearranging everyone else's things a cool power move he learned from a lifetime of making deals at the highest levels? Trump is the Deal-Maker version of those weird guys that read a ton of stuff about picking up girls and then awkwardly touch their backs at bars and ask them "your hair looks nice did you cut it yourself" in hopes of mind-loving them into sexual submission
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Mar 26, 2017 23:15
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Play posted:I'd seen the Holland one before, but this one is pretty good, maybe better. What confuses me is the similarity between the two. Were they produced by totally different teams but meant to be in the same style? Or is it one group making them all? I think the Netherlands did the first parody and then late night shows/comedians in other countries starting cranking out their own version of the concept. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcH9eWBs9fw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reuJ8yVCgSM
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Mar 26, 2017 23:19
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Incoming lol https://twitter.com/pattonoswalt/status/846043139982802944 https://twitter.com/potus/status/845781411940454400
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Mar 26, 2017 23:37
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Jose posted:this isn't really a lol i just wanted to share it This is actually, in fact, a lol
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Mar 26, 2017 23:38
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It's probably something like taking more space on the table makes you look bigly and important. Anyway, there are good posts ITT. I thank you. It's nice to lol while we ride this planet to loving hell.
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Mar 26, 2017 23:48
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Jose posted:this isn't really a lol i just wanted to share it You're wrong, this is actually a massive lol the way i read it is he has no clue what's going on but he wants to seem like he has control over something and he does, the placement of cups, coasters, and name tags
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Mar 26, 2017 23:49
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maybe he's very in-tune with feng shui and he's trying to improve the flow of
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Mar 26, 2017 23:51
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You guys what IS that poo poo. That is such a small but creepy behavior.
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Mar 26, 2017 23:56
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Play posted:You're wrong, this is actually a massive lol The incompetent nepotism hire perpetually rearranging his desktop
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Mar 26, 2017 23:56
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unpacked robinhood posted:Someone said it in the thread and I think it's true to some extent, some of his unscripted interviews read like the output of a markov bot. Its why I find it so unbelievable that he doesn't drink. His most coherent speeches have the same pattern as when I am a little drunker than I realize "You guys, Dragon Ball Super is the best. Just phenomenal. It's so good, you won't even believe it, it's just the best. Goku? Best protagonist ever created, can't top him. Wait til you see it, even the first episode, it's gonna blow you away, you'll never forget it. People say it's garbage and the franchise is tired and played out, but those people are idiots, they don't know what the heck they're talking about." You just start on a topic and go, you don't know where you're going with it but you just keep talking so people don't think you're as drunk as you are, but since you're spouting nonsense it's even more obvious, so you have to keep going and hope you hit a cogent point somewhere along the way. Halfway through a sentence you lose your place and switch tracks but keep things vague so it's not obvious you forgot what you were saying It's loving unbelievable, not just that he doesn't drink, but that he isn't inebriated during every single time I've ever heard him speak Cursed Lumberjack fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Mar 27, 2017 |
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Mar 27, 2017 00:08
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cnut posted:Incoming lol I would get mad over the cost, except every second playing golf is one less second he's in the white house working on the next disastrous regressive political idea.
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Mar 27, 2017 00:10
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etalian posted:I would get mad over the cost, except every second playing golf is one less second he's in the white house working on the next disastrous regressive political idea. Except the sooner he comes out with bills featuring his regressive ideas the sooner we can lol.
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Mar 27, 2017 00:12
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:Except the sooner he comes out with bills featuring his regressive ideas the sooner we can lol. It really is a double edged sword, lol.
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Mar 27, 2017 00:15
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:You guys what IS that poo poo. That is such a small but creepy behavior. Tumble posted:Trump is the Deal-Maker version of those weird guys that read a ton of stuff about picking up girls and then awkwardly touch their backs at bars and ask them "your hair looks nice did you cut it yourself" in hopes of mind-loving them into sexual submission (i hate to quote myself because it seems weird but whatever trump is pres) it's another action from a wannabe businessman; this is the kind of poo poo people do because they've read or heard about people talk about a trivial detail that's "Brought Success". i've worked in sales for quite a few years and I've dealt with a ton of people like Trump that consider themselves master negotiators; they'll act like they hate the car, they'll try to tell me that they've seen the same product elsewhere for half price elsewhere, they'll stare at the paper and pretend to see a flaw with our math and try to use that as leverage, they'll put an empty water pitcher (NOT JUG*) in front of me to "see how I'll react". the bad negotiators are the ones who do this kind of poo poo. The people that didn't buy from me (cars, software, building contracts) did this kind of poo poo here and tried to get me to lose money now despite never telling me how I'd make money later. we call them strokes. master salesmen close quickly with a little bit of profit for me/the company, and know that not busting my balls and getting a fast sale means I'll do my hardest to fix any problems that come down the line. The people who are totally full of poo poo huff and puff and either walk off with nothing, or drag things out over a few hundred bucks and go to the bottom of the to-do list after their check clears. Trump is the kind of person that walks off with nothing, or lies about how much he actually saved. Tumble fucked around with this message at 01:25 on Mar 27, 2017 |
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Mar 27, 2017 00:18
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What does the empty water jug accomplish?
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Mar 27, 2017 00:34
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God I fucking love Diablo 3 gold, it even paid for this shitty title
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ballistics statistics posted:What does the empty water jug accomplish? Trump sets an empty jug in front of you and says nothing. You instinctively unzip and begin to fill it with piss. Satisfied, he hands you a gilded card that grants you entry to his next soirée. A wolf howls on Wall Street.
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Mar 27, 2017 00:36
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Tumble posted:nope Can someone post this article because of posts dumb limit on reads per month?
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Mar 27, 2017 00:45
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EVIL Gibson posted:Can someone post this article because of posts dumb limit on reads per month? “I don’t drop balls, I don’t move balls. I don’t need to,” says Trump, seen teeing off during pro-am play at Bethesda’s Congressional Country Club. (John Middlebrook/AP) One morning in the mid-1990s, Mark Mulvoy was on the sixth hole of Long Island’s Garden City Golf Club with Donald Trump when the skies opened, and they ducked for cover under a nearby awning. The rain let up a few moments later, and Mulvoy, then the managing editor of Sports Illustrated, returned to the green. When he got there, he found a ball 10 feet from the pin that he didn’t remember seeing before the storm. “Who the hell’s ball is this?” he said. “That’s me,” the real estate mogul said, according to Mulvoy. “Donald, give me a f---ing break,” Mulvoy recalls telling him. “You’ve been hacking away in the . . . weeds all day. You do not lie there.” “Ahh, the guys I play with cheat all the time,” he recalls Trump replying. “I have to cheat just to keep up with them.” It’s a story that the current Republican front-runner hotly denies. “I don’t even know who he is,” Trump said when asked about Mulvoy’s account.“I don’t drop balls, I don’t move balls. I don’t need to.” But just as Trump has emerged as a national phenomenon by tearing up the rule book of electoral politics, it appears that the mega-developer’s willingness to bend the rules may apply to his philosophy of the links as well. The Donald is known for describing himself as a man of unbridled accomplishment and success in virtually every area he’s attempted, and his golf game has long been one of his most highly self-touted skills. [Why does everyone call Donald Trump ‘The Donald’? It’s an interesting story.] “I’ve played a lot, and I’ve played well,” he said. “There’s very few people that can beat me in golf.” On multiple occasions during his campaign, he has let voters know that he “killed” Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) when the two squared off this year. “I could play him a thousand times and never lose to him,” he said. And by all accounts, Trump is a very good golfer. Just maybe not as good as he says he is. “The worst celebrity golf cheat?” the rock star Alice Cooper said in a 2012 interview with Q magazine. “I wish I could tell you that. It would be a shocker. I played with Donald Trump one time. That’s all I’m going to say.” (“I’ve never played with Alice Cooper,” Trump said. “That’s a terrible thing to say about people, especially me.”) “Golf is like bicycle shorts: It can reveal a lot about a guy,” said Rick Reilly, the sportswriter who hit the links with Trump for his 2004 book “Who’s Your Caddy?” — in which Reilly lugged clubs for several of the world’s best golfers and VIP amateurs. As for Trump? “When it comes to cheating, he’s an 11 on a scale of one to 10,” Reilly said. “The worst celebrity golf cheat?” Trump — shown with pros John Daly, Chi-Chi Rodríguez and Rocco Mediate, from left, at Puerto Rico’s Trump International Golf Club in 2010 — is offended by the suggestion. (Ricardo Arduengo/AP) Reilly told The Washington Post about an afternoon when Trump wrote down scores he didn’t actually achieve on his scorecard, conceded putts to himself by raking the ball into the hole with his putter rather than striking it properly (“He rakes like my gardener!”), and even called a gimme — something a player might claim for a two-foot putt — on what should have been a chip shot. “He took the world’s first gimme chip-in,” Reilly said. At one point, Trump, after taking a number of second shots, told Reilly to “make sure you write that I play my first ball. You don’t get a second ball in life.” In life, it may or may not be true that a person gets a second chance; and yet, as Reilly wrote, on holes 1, 13 and 17, Trump did indeed get a second ball. Trump disputes Reilly’s entire story as well: “I always thought he was a terrible writer,” he said. “I absolutely killed him, and he wrote very inaccurately. I would say that he’s a very dishonest writer. . . . I never took a gimme chip shot. . . . I don’t do gimme chip shots. If I asked his approval, that’s not cheating, number one. Number two, I never took one.” But Reilly noted something else about playing with Trump that is echoed by others who have golfed with him: He had an amazing time. Trump played with confidence and bravado, he tipped the caddies, he gave great pointers that helped his comrades with problem swings. So what if he cheats? The guy is a lot of fun! “It’s his limo ride, his golf course. The guy paid for lunch — what are you going to do?” Reilly said. “He’s exhausting, but I want to be clear: I really liked him. It was just like being in a crazy carnival for a day. Though I’m not sure it would be so much fun when it starts to count.” “He took the world’s first gimme chip shot,” ESPN’s Rick Reilly claims of The Donald, seen at the opening of his Sterling, Va., golf course in June. (Jeffrey MacMillan/For The Washington Post) Tony Kornheiser of ESPN played with Trump in 2008 and said in an e-mail that Trump “couldn’t have been more gracious or more fun.” Fox News anchor Bret Baier, who recently went toe-to-toe with Trump at the first debate, has played with the real estate mogul and said he was actually very nice when separated from a television camera. [Never mind the Megyn Kelly and Jorge Ramos clashes. Donald Trump is the most media-friendly candidate.] Jonathan Carr spent the 2007 and 2008 golf seasons caddying at Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, N.J. He remembers a gregarious club owner who treated the caddies with the utmost respect, a man who, despite lacking a “pristine” golf swing, played with a high level of skill and an even higher level of confidence. Carr never saw Trump come close to bending the rules, although he said everyone who caddied there had heard of that reputation. “The caddies would say, ‘If I get on his bag, I’m going to make sure he always has a good lie,’ ” Carr said, meaning that even if Trump shanked a ball, the caddies would do what they could to place it on the fairway. And judging by Trump’s own account, he’s had plenty of good lies. He said he holds the amateur record on his own golf course in West Palm Beach, Fla., a 66. In a story about celebrity golf handicaps, Forbes reported that his is a 4 but noted they have yet to see “a real signed scorecard.” From a guy who once went on a mission to get President Obama to release his birth certificate, this raises some eyebrows. Ironically, Trump had only nice things to say about the president when it came to his golf game. “His swing looks like it’s coming along beautifully. His game looks much better,” he told The Post. “I’d love to play him for the presidency.” Today's Headlines newsletter The day's most important stories. Sign up Not so much for one of his main opponents, former Florida governor Jeb Bush: “I’d love to play Jeb for the presidency,” he said, before adding: “That would be even easier than running against him in politics.” Trump has shown that his candidacy is immune to the types of attacks that can bring down normal Republican candidates. He’s on record mocking a war hero and praising House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), he has advocated for higher taxes, donated to Democrats and called for single-payer health care. None of that has mattered. But does his golf history provide opponents with the opening they need? “FACT: Former House speaker Will Weatherford said ‘he did not remember @realDonaldTrump shooting 72,’ ” Danny Diaz, Jeb Bush’s campaign manager, tweeted recently. But perhaps even this attack could backfire. The only other person that Reilly remembers cheating as much as Trump? None other than Bill Clinton. Maybe Trump’s cheating is his most presidential move yet.
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Mar 27, 2017 00:46
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EVIL Gibson posted:Can someone post this article because of posts dumb limit on reads per month? Just open the link in private browsing/incognito mode/whatever the gently caress microsoft calls it.
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Mar 27, 2017 00:49
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Mega not lol, but potentially the biggest lols later: https://dailykos.com/story/2017/3/23/1646686/-RussiaGate-blows-WIDE-OPEN-in-Abrahamson-report-High-crimes-and-misdemeanors-by-Trump-Sessions
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Mar 27, 2017 00:50
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ballistics statistics posted:What does the empty water jug accomplish? to see how i'll handle it after i figure out it's empty i was trying to sell this restaurant owner a social media and website package where we'd keep their facebook and yelp pages updated as well as use targeted advertising campaigns to push his places to the top of search results, plus keep them up to date on the various payment and ordering methods out there (sounds simple enough to do yourself but in big cities it can actually suck to try to dig yourself out of bad social media publicity) and i'm trying to pitch this guy who owns a small chain of like 8 pizza places. he keeps me waiting for 45 minutes past our scheduled time, and loving STARES at me when I reach for the water pitcher (NOT JUG*). I think I just said "oh the waters empty, is there any more?" but the dude nodded his head like I'd presented him with the first formula for fire it's some dumb bullshit powerplay he read about in an introductory sales class Tumble fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Mar 27, 2017 |
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Mar 27, 2017 00:55
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