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You can tell when your getting further away from a big city when the number of anti-abortion billboards increase.
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Mar 28, 2017 16:00
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*wild rat comes into through the diner's open kitchen door* *waitress grabs it and throws it outside again* *customers watch, chuckle, then return to breakfast after making jokes about dinner theater or wondering why it was so far from the railroad tracks where wild rats like it are usually found*
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Mar 28, 2017 16:00
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*refers to someone's way of dress as "Town". "Look at his hands, he's never done an honest day of work in his life. You can tell by that shirt he's Town"
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Mar 28, 2017 16:02
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Let' s eat something a little lighter tonight. How about fish?
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Mar 28, 2017 16:03
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*the most exciting thing that happens the entire year is when the grain silo by all the businesses downtown catches fire and everyone just kinda stands there watching and drinking beer til the fire department shows up
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Mar 28, 2017 16:05
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Mordor She Wrote posted:*the most exciting thing that happens the entire year is when the grain silo by all the businesses downtown catches fire and everyone just kinda stands there watching and drinking beer til the fire department shows up you think that's exciting? poo poo. How about a bourbon distillery fire? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAmozRuL0go http://www.distillerytrail.com/blog/heaven-hill-remembers-1996-distillery-fire-with-select-stock-20th-anniversary-edition/ quote:On the afternoon of Nov. 7, 1996, a fire started at Heaven Hill’s Warehouse I. Fueled by 75 mph winds, the rapidly growing fire ravaged the warehouse, with flames reaching heights of 350 feet. A river of fire spread downhill towards other warehouses and the distillery as the warehouse collapsed from the heat. Flaming Bourbon crawled across the Heaven Hill campus and through a nearby creek, burning seven warehouses, the original Heaven Hill distillery and several other buildings in its path. Over 90,000 barrels of Bourbon were lost, two percent of the world’s whiskey at the time.
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Mar 28, 2017 16:08
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Bonzo posted:Let' s eat something a little lighter tonight. How about fish? Get that green outta here
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Mar 28, 2017 16:10
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Bonzo posted:you think that's exciting? poo poo. How about a bourbon distillery fire? Jesus, also :_:7 all that bourbon.
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Mar 28, 2017 16:12
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Hector Beerlioz posted:Get that green outta here dont hate on asparagus
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Mar 28, 2017 16:21
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I lived in a town of 650 people in Colorado when I worked for the Forest Service. A lot of these are spot on. *Has to sign up on the wait list to use the library's internet service, 30 minute limit.* *Picks up mail at the post office. Spots the same mailman working at the liquor store at night.* *Satellite TV cuts out anytime it rained or was slightly overcast.* *Coworker crashes car drunk. Walks home to get more drunk so the town sheriff can't give him a breathalyzer.* *Has to install fuel cap locks on all the USFS fleet trucks cause the trailer park next door kept stealing our gas.* *Denies permit to local prospector to dredge gold from the river. Claims he's invented a dredge that doesn't kill the fish, only "stuns" them.* *The biggest event during the summer was the donkey race.* *The only bar open after 9PM was the bowling alley. Otherwise you had to drive to the next town, Alma. The bar's name was "Alma's Only Bar".* I had fun but it would've better if I worked there when weed was legal.
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Mar 28, 2017 16:31
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Note worth events from living in a town of less than 2k. *School bus hits a deer *Fellow student dies hitting a cow with her truck because a nearby farm's fence broke *During Sex ed a girl said "you can't get pregnant if you're in love with someone" she then ended up pregnant.
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Mar 28, 2017 16:38
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-high school sports teams were called The Redskins and the mascot is a red man with a large feather headdress- -mascot is changed to Red Wings in 1993- -Alumni facebook group gets monthly posts saying, "It's still REDSKIN TO ME! Why's we have to change it all?!?!-
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Mar 28, 2017 16:43
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Bonzo posted:-high school sports teams were called The Redskins and the mascot is a red man with a large feather headdress- Same but Blackhawk
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Mar 28, 2017 16:51
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Bonzo posted:Let' s eat something a little lighter tonight. How about fish? Lent.jpg
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Mar 28, 2017 16:58
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absurd ratio of churches to population, many of which are newly built, huge and well maintained. meanwhile many homes, public buildings and infrastructure are deteriorating to the point of being unsafe. most new buildings are pole barns, half the businesses on the main street are consignment shops and there is a high traffic bridge that was built in the 30s
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Mar 28, 2017 17:01
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(last year) custom decal covering back window of lifted pickup says: "Obama: Leader of ISIS in America". its parked at the sheriffs office
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Mar 28, 2017 17:04
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Thinks small town people are kind and well mannered and city folk are all rude and terrible because: -I was just standing in the middle of one of those fancy moving stairways and people kept saying "excuse me" and trying to get past me. Why is everyone always in a rush??? Don't tread on me!!! -I wanted to ride one of those underground devil trains and despite being first in line at the door when it arrived everyone getting off PUSHED ME out of the way! -I'm just walkin' at an easy pace down the very middle of the sidewalk and people keep aggressively passing me and someone even bumped into me when I stopped to stare at an interracial couple across the street. -Apparently I'm riding this "elevator" thing wrong too?? I don't even know what I did but I keep getting dirty looks. I think they just hate real americans. -I've written off 99% of the events and activities here as too fancy or weird or not for me while at the same time declared the city boring and just like my small town but expensive and everyone's mean. -It's so hard to get around!!! The metro was a no-go and I get tired and stressed walking but there's no free parking anywhere and everyone's honking at me. -All the staff at businesses I try to chat with seem disinterested and rude, ain't nobody friendly here and everyone in the huge line behind me was giving me dirty looks. -I keep getting dirty looks! I can't be unaware of some basic social rules that I keep breaking and people keep gently trying to correct, it's because city folk are rude and judge rurals like me.
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Mar 28, 2017 17:06
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chinese place opens and fails in 3 months. pizza place opens and fails in 3 months. bbq place opens and fails in 3 months. cracker barrel by the highway onramp is slammed every single day
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Mar 28, 2017 17:10
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Haverchuck posted:chinese place opens and fails in 3 months. pizza place opens and fails in 3 months. bbq place opens and fails in 3 months. cracker barrel by the highway onramp is slammed every single day Oh my god, I used to sneak out of high school every day to eat at a Chinese restaurant that opened in our town but no one would go there and it closed, saddest day of my high school career, cute Chinese slave girl there taught me how to use chop sticks too.
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Mar 28, 2017 17:10
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Baronjutter posted:Thinks small town people are kind and well mannered and city folk are all rude and terrible because: lol someone tried yelling at me for this once (I was closest to the door to exit the train and the guy was the first on the platform trying to get in) but the effect was kind of ruined by the fact that other people continued to push him out of the way too because his chosen spot to rant at me was in the center of the doorway on the train
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Mar 28, 2017 17:27
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-local grocer or 45 years closes due to new Wal Mart out by the highway- -Baptist church relocates to the new vacancy in the strip mall-
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Mar 28, 2017 17:51
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Helmet? What are you, some kind of pussy? *dies in horrific 4-wheeler accident*
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Mar 28, 2017 18:37
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At the local Grocery Outlet the other night, the cashier was young woman, and she was wearing a sweat shirt that said "His doe". Unable to crack the enigma unassisted, I asked her about it. "Oh, it's part of a matching pair - my boyfriend's says 'Her buck'. Yep, small town.
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Mar 28, 2017 19:37
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*No one gives a poo poo if you pass out drunk in a bowling alley parking lot *or a yard *or a yard that isn't yours *or a graveyard
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Mar 28, 2017 19:39
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Surprised I haven't seen this one yet: *drives an old golf cart or riding mower to the local bar because I know I'm going to get absolutely shitfaced. Again.*
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Mar 28, 2017 19:42
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I wen to Viola Wisconsin once to visit a friend and the first thing I see upon rolling into town is a 500lb dude on an ATV with a shotgun oh said "Oh you must be X's friend, he lives in that house over there". There was one gas station and bar in the town that I saw.
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Mar 28, 2017 19:44
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Last summer I went for a motorcycle ride down some of my favorite back roads on the west side of the Sacramento Valley. Passing through the "town" of Stonyford I saw what initially appeared to be a Hillary for President flag flying in front of a house. Knowing how such tiny places tend to be overwhelmingly conservative, I was pleasantly surprised by this. Then I got close enough to see that it said "Hillary for Prison", though it was made in the style of actual Hillary for President campaign banners. No doubt something advertised on the Sean Hannity Show. Many years ago I realized that some people like small town life, and view the narrow minded conservatism that almost always accompanies this as part of the price you have to pay. Others prefer small town life precisely because of this.
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Mar 28, 2017 19:49
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Repo Man posted:Many years ago I realized that some people like small town life, and view the narrow minded conservatism that almost always accompanies this as part of the price you have to pay. Others prefer small town life precisely because of this. People who claim the former are just using it as a cover for the later.
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Mar 28, 2017 19:52
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My aunt lived in Silverton, Idaho and her boyfriend's name was Jim but he went by "Dogger" and was a big fan of Harley Davidson and talking poo poo about mexicans
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Mar 28, 2017 19:54
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My friend was dating a lady from a tiny middle of the nowhere religious town. She first moved to Vancouver and and it was a big jump from her village of like a few hundred but she survived. Now she lives in Victoria and still finds it a bit too big but it's ok for her, especially after Vancouver. She was perfectly nice and fine but was really into sports and would want to watch Hockey on TV if there was a "big game" on and would always get frustrated because absolutely no one in anyone's social circle watched Hockey or understood why she was excited or upset about a sport thing that happened. She'd have to call her small town family back home for that. Clearly people in cities like Hockey though because that's where the arenas and major teams are. But I have noticed people from small towns are often way more into sports. I think playing a sport like Hockey is just too expensive in a big city so it's more of a small town/suburban thing these days, specially if your small town actually gets winter with actual ice outside.
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Mar 28, 2017 20:05
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I never considered "Canadian hockey fan" to be a rarity tbh
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Mar 28, 2017 20:08
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Baronjutter posted:
There are only 10 cities in all of Canada that have population of <500,000 and every small township and community has a local rink for hockey, ringette and curling. In the winter they are usually the only place were you can socialize with the rest of the town.
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Mar 28, 2017 20:13
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Bonzo posted:There are only 10 cities in all of Canada that have population of <500,000 and every small township and community has a local rink for hockey, ringette and curling. In the winter they are usually the only place were you can socialize with the rest of the town. Yeah, hockey and the local arena are like the social hubs of small Canadian towns and generally every kid learns to skate and at least plays some hockey at some point in their life. In Victoria/Vancouver though this super isn't the case, both from the different climate that doesn't really have "proper" winter and that Hockey requires a ton of expensive gear and "ice time" is really expensive here so it's mostly just a sport rich suburban kids do. Also hockey gear takes up a ton of space and if you're just renting a little apartment because housing prices are loving insane it's not just that you can't afford hockey, you physically don't have the space to put aside for it. Even when I was a kid in the 80's no one really did hockey as a kid. I think in my class maybe 1 kid did. But I'll talk to a friend from small-town-BC and they're shocked, everyone played hockey or had lessons or at least owned a stick and some skates. How can you even be Canadian and not???
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Mar 28, 2017 20:20
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Yeah were mostly a logging town here Oh yeah /that/ book. yeah it's helped the town out but we dont like to talk about it a lot Yeah those people are nuts. Say you know where the fish are biting? Figured as much, the wild steelhead don't come in till later in the month. Nice rig by the way Yeah mines new. got it a month ago. The old lady wasnt pleased to here how much the lift kit costed around with it. Yeah hard times for everyone, whole towns just scraping by. Take it easy brother Forks, WA
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Mar 28, 2017 20:22
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Agean90 posted:Yeah were mostly a logging town here Sounds a lot like Port Angeles too. God that's a depressing little town but pretty much all small towns are dying and depressing unless they've found some sort of tourist or rich people serving niche.
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Mar 28, 2017 20:26
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Baronjutter posted:Sounds a lot like Port Angeles too. God that's a depressing little town but pretty much all small towns are dying and depressing unless they've found some sort of tourist or rich people serving niche. I'd take Port Angeles over Aberdeen everyday. He'll I'd take Forks, or even clallam bay, population 350 over Aberdeen. Christ what a miserable looking town.
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Mar 28, 2017 20:29
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Teikanmi posted:My aunt lived in Silverton, Idaho and her boyfriend's name was Jim but he went by "Dogger" and was a big fan of Harley Davidson and talking poo poo about mexicans I once knew a man who went by "Booger" ("Boog" for short) who was a big fan of our lord and savior Jesus Christ. His brain was completely fried Ozzy style from the mountains of drugs he did in the 80s to where all he can manage now is his lovely "handyman" job, checking out under age girls and preaching the good word to anyone who'll listen. I assume he's still kicking around somewhere in my hometown.
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Mar 28, 2017 20:29
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There's a totally hosed up homeless guy I see a lot. Like he's totally totally hosed and should be in some sort of institution not on the street. Found out he was a dude who moved here from a small town from a "good family" to finish university and was working a nice office job and was seen as the classic "person most likely to succeed" from his tiny home town. He got into the club scene and drinking and within a year managed to OD so bad he got hosed up permanent brain damage and now he's just living on the street alone because his super conservative small town family obviously had to disown their drug addict son. hosed up.
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Mar 28, 2017 20:37
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Mordor She Wrote posted:*the most exciting thing that happens the entire year is when the grain silo by all the businesses downtown catches fire and everyone just kinda stands there watching and drinking beer til the fire department shows up what else do you expect them to do? it's too dangerous to try to put out the fire yourself if you're not trained
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Mar 28, 2017 20:57
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My parents recently bought a little cottage in an old mining community and their biggest comment was that the percentage of households they looked at with paintings of wolves was extraordinarily high.
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Mar 28, 2017 21:22
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