loquacius posted:

quote:

I went out partying with some buddies and, long story short, we ended up seeing my grandma at Buffalo Wild Wings. She joined us and even had a few drinks. The problem is now I believe my friends think my grandma is cooler and more fun than me.

We made plans to go out this weekend and, already, they are asking if I could invite my grandma. One text even said "Your grandma is so cool, she loving rocks". I love my grandma but don't wan to go drinking with her every week.

KomodoWagon posted:

There's a pretty big stretch between "idiot teenage boy" and this creeperino

loquacius posted:

At the end of church he's waiting by the door shaking hands and I go talk to him about this. He just claims Christianity is the one true religion, and I start debating him saying that, even if that's true, why could you take away the same rights from another religion that believes 100% they are true. We debated for about 20 minutes, I was totally caught up in the moment and didn't even realize I left my girlfriend and her family waiting around.

We go to breakfast then and they ask what we talk about. Then I start debating with her mom and dad and, in my worst moment, tear up a pancake in order to make a point.

KomodoWagon posted:

And get this, my father was never home! (Between 9am and 5pm)
And in the comic I drew when I was 7, Rehtaf had a pet dog named Dad. That's Dad spelled backwards!

Play posted:

Also I really want to know what kind of grand metaphor the pancake was supposed to represent

quote:

I was reading the relationship thread and learned something new - women's breasts aren't filled with milk.

I assumed that was what gave them the bounce and softness and that sucking on the nipple released the milk. This, to me, was why men sucked on nipples of their lovers. To get the milk. And obviously babies breastfeed. I've never touched a breast or sucked on a nipple so I didn't have empirical evidence.

I wiki'd that and now I see how it really works, which I guess makes more sense. But now I feel really stupid and it's especially bad because I'm in my 20s and didn't know this.

quote:

I'm the so called "rear end pen" guy from very early in the thread. Just writing an update to say I was laid off from my job on Friday (thanks a lot Kraft Heinz), so my pen trading scenario is on hold for a while.

That said I had a fun trip on the company dime right before the layoffs. I honestly believe the leader of the free world might be using one of my pens right now.

quote:

I was reading the relationship thread and learned something new - women's breasts aren't filled with milk.

I assumed that was what gave them the bounce and softness and that sucking on the nipple released the milk. This, to me, was why men sucked on nipples of their lovers. To get the milk. And obviously babies breastfeed. I've never touched a breast or sucked on a nipple so I didn't have empirical evidence.

I wiki'd that and now I see how it really works, which I guess makes more sense. But now I feel really stupid and it's especially bad because I'm in my 20s and didn't know this.

Jimmy Hats posted:

The truth is that everybody's Grandma is way cooler than them

ElGroucho posted:

People forget that there grandma wasn't always nana knitting a sweater on the lazy boy

When my grandma got old enough, she told me some pretty loving crazy stories about the '50s man

Don't believe all that "Leave it Beaver" poo poo, that was when prophylactics became hot poo poo

Panfilo posted:

Boob fesh gets me thinking about how nowadays you can just Google how all this stuff works. I know people worry about kids not getting a comprehensive sex education, roof I can't help but wonder if Google can just fill in the gaps.

I mean it helped this guy learn what's inside boobs.

The Management posted:

A 13 year old me looked up breasts in the encyclopedia. The cross-section diagram explained to me that they are just bags of fat and how the mammary glands work.

never get better posted:

"I'm seeing someone now. Leave me alone. I don't want you in my life. Bye."

Dang was hoping to at least be friends .

stringball posted:

I wonder how many confessions dare/Jon pop/other permabanned psychos have sent in

Solice Kirsk posted:

Same, also one of my friends stole a tampon box from his sister and that's how we found out what a vagina looked like. Man, the days before the internet.

loquacius posted:

Like he cares if he's anonymous

Gotta wonder why he chose to post that here, though. Does he just turn every thread in GBS into his Livejournal or what

ReidRansom posted:

Teenage me definitely jerked it to the instruction page from a box of tampons. Kids these days got it easy.

Panfilo posted:

I guess some people never even got scrambled porn and sears catalog bra section. Goondolences.

timp posted:

This is what anonymous confession threads are for, people! So you can get this embarrassing poo poo off your chest while we all have a good clean laugh about it.

ReidRansom posted:

It was feast or famine back then. Lingerie section of the Sears/JC Penny catalog, found porn (forest, ditch, etc), dot matrix printouts of stuff you downloaded from some dialup BBS, and hey if all else fails, yeah the odd tampon instruction sheet. I'm not proud, we did what we had to in those days.

quote:

My best friend is obese, about 390 lbs. He's aware it's a health problem but does very little to change things. He still eats very poorly, doesn't exercise, and drinks to excess 4-5 nights a week.

He also has major issues dating people, and that's what motivated this. He hasn't had a real girlfriend since high school, and it's not fully due to the weight. He can be amazingly charming and funny and smart. He's a cultured guy and has had many women interested in him. But he's got this idea in his head that women need to "be held to a higher standard" and refuses to date anyone below his insane standards. Like, he's the type to see a beautiful woman in a movie and complain that she has "hosed up hands" or something. We were watching Arrival together and he said he "would not bang Amy Adams with a 10 foot pole because of her eyebrow issues". I have no idea what he meant and still don't.

I am about to flip out on him and tell him he's become a typical loser male who blames everybody else for his inability to have a healthy relationship. But I don't know if his comments are coming from a place of anger or if he's just really insecure about himself and says these things to make sure he'll never be in a relationship where he'd have to put himself out there and trust another person.

quote:

When my boyfriend and I first started dating, he admitted that he had a weird hobby. He loved Christmas and everything associated with it, and liked to keep one room in his house decorated year round. I found it a bit odd but charming in a way, and it didn't bother me too much.

However, we moved in together in November after almost a year of dating. I started to notice the Christmas hobby ran much deeper than he admitted. I started digging and asking where it came from, and it made sense. He grew up very poor, but his parents would work OT and do everything they could to give him a good Christmas. So that makes sense.

What doesn't make sense is how this manifests in him as an adult. He cooks elaborate meals 2-3x a week. They are, without question, supposed to be big family Christmas dinners. Glazed hams, au gratin potatoes, stuffing and turkey, and pies. Who bakes a pie 3 times a week for a regular dinner? The food is delicious and I'll never begrudge him cooking dinner for us, but it's slightly scary how closely it mirrors a Christmas dinner.

He always wears sweaters. We live in New England and it's cold even now, but he's been wearing winter or Christmas themed sweaters since mid-August. He still does - this weekend he bought a new one with Rudolph on it and he said he was super excited to wear it.

He also gives me gifts. Which again, is awesome and thoughtful and really sweet. But he'll swap them in christmas wrapping paper and put a big bow on it every time. Even if he just got me a bag of candy at the grocery store.

I still love him but fear for his mental health at times. We have talked about getting him help but he dismisses it and says that the Christmas spirit isn't a mental disorder and more people should be joyful year round. Which, fair enough, but I still think he needs to at least understand why he does this.

RCarr posted:

Santa boyfriend sounds pretty awesome. "Oh no he cooks wonderful dinners/pies, and constantly gets me presents, how do i fix this?!"

You don't.

Panfilo posted:

Fat guy being picky about women sounds like a defense mechanism to save face from someone who might eventually be put off by his personal habits. Being able to reject others makes you feel comparatively 'better'. He might also resent the possibility that people might encourage him to settle because of his appearance/habits.