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ConfusedUs
Feb 24, 2004

Bees?
You want fucking bees?
Here you go!
ROLL INITIATIVE!!






I know more than one person who has done this.

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GreenNight
Feb 19, 2006
Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Yeah, especially with mayo like in the gif.

Renegret
May 26, 2007

THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Cat Army Sworn Enemy

This came up in my facebook memories from one year ago.

I'm 99% sure it was posted in this thread at some point

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011

Hi
:saddowns: Don't look at my site :saddowns:
Bonus points if it's conductive!

Aunt Beth
Feb 24, 2006

Baby, you're ready!
Grimey Drawer
Re: progress bar chat. Powershell does this well. I have a slow-running step in a script I wrote to generate documentation for our servers that pulls in all of our Veeam jobs and looks at them for the name of the machine being documented. This takes a while, but it all happens in a foreach loop, so I know the count of the array of Veeam jobs I'm going through, can calculate a percentage, and then make Powershell display the bar. When it finds results it marks the bar complete and moves on.

Zamboni Apocalypse
Dec 29, 2009

Secure your CPU with new high-temperature Super Poli-Dent!

nimper
Jun 19, 2003

livin' in a hopium den

Wait, so this is NOT the way to do it?

IronSaber
Feb 24, 2009

:roboluv: oh yes oh god yes form the head FORM THE HEAD unghhhh...:fap:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Malek
Jun 22, 2003

Shut up Girl!
And as always: Kill Hitler.

Renegret posted:

This came up in my facebook memories from one year ago.

I'm 99% sure it was posted in this thread at some point



Ah yes, the Peter Northbridge Model.
(yes I've said it before. Don't care,)

Sigma
Aug 24, 2003

...
Grimey Drawer
The talk of progress bars has gotten me nostalgic about Progress Quest:

https://youtu.be/h2XK11NDZU8

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Weatherman posted:

Showing my age maybe but System 7 on the old Macs had super-reliable progress bars. Installing the system and formatting floppy disks are the two I remember the clearest. Since we reused disks so much, every so often you'd get a bad sector or whatever and instead of the "chk chk chk chk" sound and smooth progress bar, it would pause for a second and give the graunching sound of death. If you heard it twice in a row (system couldn't get past that sector), you'd command-period to cancel it and throw the disk away.

edit: my point was that the progress bars gave you a very good idea of how long the task was going to take, and when it reached the end, it was definitely done.

I had a hack on my old PPC Mac on OS X 10.4, where if the task ran a certain amount of time, the color would spill out of the end of the progress bar and it would get caught on the bottom of the dialog, slowly filling it up with translucent blue.

spankmeister
Jun 15, 2008






Renegret posted:

This came up in my facebook memories from one year ago.

I'm 99% sure it was posted in this thread at some point



I remember this one

it's like 15 years old

carry on then
Jul 10, 2010

by VideoGames

(and can't post for 10 years!)

Samizdata posted:

I had a hack on my old PPC Mac on OS X 10.4, where if the task ran a certain amount of time, the color would spill out of the end of the progress bar and it would get caught on the bottom of the dialog, slowly filling it up with translucent blue.

Tiger itself used a hack for its boot up progress bar where it just recorded how long it took to boot each time, and then had the progress bar smoothly take that long to fill next boot.

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001

We put it off as long as we could due to internal compatibility issues, but now we've been told we have to have all the PCs in our area upgraded to Office 2016 by the end of April. From a technical standpoint this is fine, it's around 450 PCs but Office is packaged in SCCM, if we were willing to murder our field network bandwidth we could force it out in one night if we had to. But logistically it's a pain because IT'S 2017 AND PEOPLE STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THE START MENU IS! On about 1/4 of the installs the user calls the next morning because their "email is missing". This is despite the fact the guide I send everyone the night before specifically addresses that your desktop icons will disappear in the upgrade and includes instructions on how to copy them back. It makes me wish Outlook's HTML mail recognized the <blink> tag.

The amount of people who can't find things that aren't on their desktop always surprises me. These people are just never going to learn the Start Menu, are they?

Also thanks Microsoft for changing the Outlook icon from orange to blue, meaning that for the extra-special users we have to remote to them and literally point the icon out to them, because they apparently can't read.

PierreTheMime
Dec 9, 2004

Hero of hormagaunts everywhere!
Buglord

spankmeister posted:

I remember this one

it's like 15 years old

I should hope. If you're running socket 462 in tyool 2017 I weep for you.

Reminds me of getting a 1333 Thunderbird at a prerelease event back in the day. :allears:

anthonypants
May 6, 2007

by Nyc_Tattoo
Dinosaur Gum

Knormal posted:

We put it off as long as we could due to internal compatibility issues, but now we've been told we have to have all the PCs in our area upgraded to Office 2016 by the end of April. From a technical standpoint this is fine, it's around 450 PCs but Office is packaged in SCCM, if we were willing to murder our field network bandwidth we could force it out in one night if we had to. But logistically it's a pain because IT'S 2017 AND PEOPLE STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THE START MENU IS! On about 1/4 of the installs the user calls the next morning because their "email is missing". This is despite the fact the guide I send everyone the night before specifically addresses that your desktop icons will disappear in the upgrade and includes instructions on how to copy them back. It makes me wish Outlook's HTML mail recognized the <blink> tag.

The amount of people who can't find things that aren't on their desktop always surprises me. These people are just never going to learn the Start Menu, are they?

Also thanks Microsoft for changing the Outlook icon from orange to blue, meaning that for the extra-special users we have to remote to them and literally point the icon out to them, because they apparently can't read.
Depending on your topology you can pre-stage a disk with the SCCM database and ship it to remote servers, and then have SCCM reference that host instead of relying on one centralized SCCM repository or murdering everyone's bandwidth.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



carry on then posted:

Tiger itself used a hack for its boot up progress bar where it just recorded how long it took to boot each time, and then had the progress bar smoothly take that long to fill next boot.

The "flowing water" animation in OS X progress bars was one of the most fiendish things ever developed.

Still not sure whether or not I mean "fiendishly clever" by that.

BallerBallerDillz
Jun 11, 2009

Cock, Rules, Everything, Around, Me
Scratchmo

Knormal posted:

It makes me wish Outlook's HTML mail recognized the <blink> tag.


You know drat well that nobody would read it anyway but the help desk inbox would be a horror show of blinking "my email is gone!!!"

A Pinball Wizard
Mar 23, 2005

I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands

College Slice

Knormal posted:


Also thanks Microsoft for changing the Outlook icon from orange to blue, meaning that for the extra-special users we have to remote to them and literally point the icon out to them, because they apparently can't read.

To be fair, I still regularly accidentally open up word when I go for Outlook because the icons look almost the same if you're not paying attention.

Reminds me of the day someone messed up a gpo change in our terminal server farm and suddenly we got 500 calls from panicked people completely unable to work because their desktop icons were missing. It got fixed in like 5 minutes, and we dropped back to 0 calls waiting 30 seconds later. It was like one of those freak storms that comes out of nowhere, drops 2 inches of rain, and disappears.

PBS
Sep 21, 2015

anthonypants posted:

Depending on your topology you can pre-stage a disk with the SCCM database and ship it to remote servers, and then have SCCM reference that host instead of relying on one centralized SCCM repository or murdering everyone's bandwidth.

You can also distribute the files at your own pace then just trigger the install separately down the road.

Yours is obviously the better option generally speaking.

Cool Dad
Jun 15, 2007

It is always Friday night, motherfuckers

I am installing SAS on your ancient, slow laptop. Leave the laptop here and connected overnight, and it will install. I will remote in to check it, ok? Ok.

Oh, you unplugged the laptop and brought it home.

Oh, now you're locked out of it. And you really need it for work tomorrow.

This is after the guy who cancelled two appointments last year for me to set up his laptop called today saying he wants it set up right this minute, and I spent an hour with a user I deployed a computer to last week trying to get her outlook fonts juuuuust right, and I had to remote into a user's home computer to install the remote desktop client on their mac, and one of the other two techs went home early leaving me to deal with every single ticket, and basically I am ready for all of humanity to die.

A Pinball Wizard
Mar 23, 2005

I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands

College Slice

Enola Gay-For-Pay posted:

This is after the guy who cancelled two appointments last year for me to set up his laptop called today saying he wants it set up right this minute, and I spent an hour with a user I deployed a computer to last week trying to get her outlook fonts juuuuust right, and I had to remote into a user's home computer to install the remote desktop client on their mac, and one of the other two techs went home early leaving me to deal with every single ticket, and basically I am ready for all of humanity to die.

Sounds like a typical Thursday to me.

PBS
Sep 21, 2015

A Pinball Wizard posted:

Sounds like a typical Thursday to me.

Sounds like Friday 5 minutes before you're going to log off.

Entropic
Feb 21, 2007

patriarchy sucks

Javid posted:

I'm beginning to loathe the trend towards simpler and less scary error messages. Too many loving apps give errors resembling "Oops! Something went wrong" with not even an error code to actually try and diagnose. At least give me some kind of trailhead to start digging from.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

" Error: Someone stole your trees!"

Entropic
Feb 21, 2007

patriarchy sucks
Whenever that error came up during early Win10 installs it always made me think of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yM25-lz1Yms

Phrosphor
Feb 25, 2007

Urbanisation

kensei posted:

I have one question.

This was early days of crypto locker when it would just encrypt all .docs and .pdfs etc but still let you login, and by "domain" I really mean glorified homegroup.

Crowley
Mar 13, 2003

Enola Gay-For-Pay posted:

I am installing SAS on your ancient, slow laptop. Leave the laptop here and connected overnight, and it will install. I will remote in to check it, ok? Ok.

Oh, you unplugged the laptop and brought it home.

Oh, now you're locked out of it. And you really need it for work tomorrow.

This is after the guy who cancelled two appointments last year for me to set up his laptop called today saying he wants it set up right this minute, and I spent an hour with a user I deployed a computer to last week trying to get her outlook fonts juuuuust right, and I had to remote into a user's home computer to install the remote desktop client on their mac, and one of the other two techs went home early leaving me to deal with every single ticket, and basically I am ready for all of humanity to die.

Stories like this makes me happy we only works on machines that people bring in themselves. They'll get a loaner while we work on it, and they can pick it up again when it's done. Loaners are the exact same brand/model as everyone else uses, and everyone gets treated the same, from the mayor to the road assessment crews.

divabot
Jun 17, 2015

A polite little mouse!

got the loved one's Windows 10 laptop to bluescreen for the first time last night

(putting in a malfunctioning SD card. Linux just went "wtf, this thing ain't working", Win10 made a hideous electronic farting noise and died horribly.)

the new model bluescreen is very pretty and has lovely graphic design, and a QR code so you can point your phone at it and browse to a Microsoft support page! isn't that helpful?

took 15 minutes to boot afterwards, presumably chkdsk'ing

Super Slash
Feb 20, 2006

You rang ?
Would be nice if when a program doesn't respond/hangs it puts up a "Do not loving touch me, idiot" banner instead of greying out and doing nothing.

"Help help my outlook is crashing!!!"
"What were you doing before this happened?"
"Tried to delete 50,000 E-mails"
"Welp"

A Pinball Wizard
Mar 23, 2005

I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands

College Slice
Microsoft security essentials is flagging one of the VB.net files we use as a virus and deleting it. Happy Friday me!

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001

anthonypants posted:

Depending on your topology you can pre-stage a disk with the SCCM database and ship it to remote servers, and then have SCCM reference that host instead of relying on one centralized SCCM repository or murdering everyone's bandwidth.
SCCM is managed by a different area than I'm in so I don't have any direct control over its setup. We talked with the SCCM admin about distribution points and the like, but considering we have a month to spare decided it was better to just brute force the package out.

A Pinball Wizard posted:

To be fair, I still regularly accidentally open up word when I go for Outlook because the icons look almost the same if you're not paying attention.
I really don't get what Microsoft was thinking changing Outlook's color. My Office group in my Start Menu has Word, Excel, Outlook, and Visio pinned, three of those icons are now different shades of blue. I'm sure some marketing area on the Outlook team spent a lot of time and money to learn that blue is a nicer color than orange, but it really threw off Office's over-all color balance.

Filthy Lucre
Feb 27, 2006

Knormal posted:

I'm sure some marketing area on the Outlook team spent a lot of time and money to learn that blue is a nicer color than orange, but it really threw off Office's over-all color balance.

Someone wanted their icon in cornflower blue.

tomapot
Apr 7, 2005
Suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.
Oven Wrangler

Knormal posted:

Also thanks Microsoft for changing the Outlook icon from orange to blue, meaning that for the extra-special users we have to remote to them and literally point the icon out to them, because they apparently can't read.

Seriously, nothing like training my Brian to look for the yellow icon for 10 years then switching it up. Now I actually have to pay attention to what I click.

TITTIEKISSER69
Mar 19, 2005

SAVE THE BEES
PLANT MORE TREES
CLEAN THE SEAS
KISS TITTIESS




tomapot posted:

Seriously, nothing like training my Brian to look for the yellow icon for 10 years then switching it up. Now I actually have to pay attention to what I click.

Tell me more about your Brian.

mewse
May 2, 2006

tomapot posted:

Seriously, nothing like training my Brian to look for the yellow icon for 10 years then switching it up. Now I actually have to pay attention to what I click.

My Brian didn't need much training, thankfully. He seems pretty overqualified for desktop support actually

Malek
Jun 22, 2003

Shut up Girl!
And as always: Kill Hitler.

tomapot posted:

Seriously, nothing like training my Brian to look for the yellow icon for 10 years then switching it up. Now I actually have to pay attention to what I click.

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin
You've probably all already seen this, but whatever: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/feeling-stupid

azurite
Jul 25, 2010

Strange, isn't it?!



No, not you, Bryan.

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tomapot
Apr 7, 2005
Suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.
Oven Wrangler

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

You've probably all already seen this, but whatever: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/feeling-stupid

At least I'm in good company.

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