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I don't know. Christianity gave us the story that Jesus's foreskin became the rings around Saturn.
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Apr 1, 2017 16:52
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What? No foreskin relics?
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Apr 1, 2017 16:56
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JaucheCharly posted:What? No foreskin relics? Then what the hell did I just buy off ebay??
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Apr 1, 2017 16:58
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the rings of saturn are that big because every single relic of jesus's foreskin is up there
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Apr 1, 2017 16:59
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JaucheCharly posted:What? No foreskin relics? There were, but most Holy Prepuces were lost during the Reformation. There was one in the city of Calcata (in Viterbo, Italy), which was paraded around during the Feast of the Circumcision (on January 1st), but the jewelled reliquary, prepuce and all, was stolen around 1983.
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Apr 1, 2017 17:02
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That would make a good heist film. A team of professional thieves must steal Jesus' foreskin for a a mafia boss who wants to wear it like a ring.
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Apr 1, 2017 17:16
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Feel like there's a double-ended dildo in a museum of Chinese bronzes somewhere.
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Apr 1, 2017 18:21
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I think I posted that in one of the china threads.
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Apr 1, 2017 18:23
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If you want salacious ancient stuff google "peruvian sex pottery." The Moche were a really interesting people,
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Apr 1, 2017 19:42
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Cyrano4747 posted:If you want salacious ancient stuff google "peruvian sex pottery." man the facial expressions on these are the best
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Apr 1, 2017 19:56
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Cyrano4747 posted:If you want salacious ancient stuff google "peruvian sex pottery." I was just at the Rafael Larco Herrera museum last week! Skeleton dicks!
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Apr 1, 2017 20:38
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xthetenth posted:I seem to recall a dead officer in Hey Gail's time turning out to be a cross-dressing woman. If I remember right, they spoke approvingly of her wife (I think)'s faithfulness. edit: catalina erauso was an officer who turned out to be a cross dressing woman, but was alive. also her gorget is kind of cool, it's in more parts than usual https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catalina_de_Erauso HEY GUNS fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Apr 1, 2017 |
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Apr 1, 2017 21:25
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HEY GAIL posted:captain hendrich, siege of turin, 1640. her comrades valued her enough to send an expedition to the french to get the body back for burial, which since it's a step or two up from "into the common pit" is pretty good for the 17th century. Do you have your sources about hendrich on hand, by the way?
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Apr 1, 2017 23:38
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xthetenth posted:Do you have your sources about hendrich on hand, by the way?  There was found among the dead a woman who had always passed for a man among our enemies, and her name was Captain Hendrich. She had been an Obrist Leutnant in a regiment of German cavalry and for ten years, in order to better fool her society, had been married to a woman who was the only other person who knew her secret. At the beginning, they had called her Captain Capon, because nobody saw any beard at all: she had dueled another captain for this injury, and then he left her alone: she was one of the best officers in the army of the Spanish, who, the day after the sortie, instantly sent out an envoy to reclaim Captain Hendrich. When we responded that nobody had taken an officer prisoner, and let the enemies look at the dead, their surprise was strange when they recognized for a woman someone who had always been judged as one of the best officers of their troops. We gave them her body back: she had been about forty years old. Many fables have been added to this history, but this that I tell you is 100% truth, and it makes manifest the great chastity of this woman and a discretion without parallel in the woman she had married. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3585027&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=681#post451134245
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Apr 2, 2017 12:19
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FreudianSlippers posted:That would make a good heist film. Somewhere Dan Brown got an erection and he doesn't know why.
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Apr 2, 2017 17:17
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JaucheCharly posted:What? No foreskin relics? The pope actually banned all mentions about Jesus' foreskin because an argument between two churches about who had the real thing had become embarrassing.
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Apr 2, 2017 18:19
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Alhazred posted:The pope actually banned all mentions about Jesus' foreskin because an argument between two churches about who had the real thing had become embarrassing. Apparently modding and being the pope have more in common than I thought.
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Apr 2, 2017 18:52
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Judging from how many other relics double, tripple, etc. there are, it should be at least 20 foreskins alone in southern europe.
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Apr 2, 2017 19:02
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Controversial theory: Jesus could heal the sick, therefore he could possibly have regrown his foreskin as often as he needed.
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Apr 2, 2017 19:13
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Dalael posted:Controversial theory: Jesus could heal the sick, therefore he could possibly have regrown his foreskin as often as he needed. Tossing them to the crowd after a sermon like plectrums.
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Apr 2, 2017 19:14
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I heard that motherfucker had, like. thirty godly dicks.
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Apr 2, 2017 19:15
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Dalael posted:Controversial theory: Jesus could heal the sick, therefore he could possibly have regrown his foreskin as often as he needed. There must have been one incredibly unhappy rabbi the day he was born.
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Apr 2, 2017 19:16
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satan is the master of lies and it is well-established that he had multiple dicks so I think it's reasonable to conclude that all but one of the relics is actually satan's foreskin
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Apr 2, 2017 19:16
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JaucheCharly posted:Judging from how many other relics double, tripple, etc. there are, it should be at least 20 foreskins alone in southern europe. I didn't realize there were so many Jews in southern Europe.
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Apr 2, 2017 19:17
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As if you need jews to fabricate foreskin relics.
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Apr 2, 2017 19:20
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Jazerus posted:There must have been one incredibly unhappy rabbi the day he was born. Well 8 days after he was born.
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Apr 2, 2017 19:22
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JaucheCharly posted:As if you need jews to fabricate foreskin relics. Heard this was a mechanic in the new CK2 dlc.
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Apr 2, 2017 19:25
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BravestOfTheLamps posted:I heard that motherfucker had, like. thirty godly dicks. With an rear end made of palm fronds he patrolled the land, with frankincense and myrrh in his perfect hands
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Apr 2, 2017 19:39
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JaucheCharly posted:Judging from how many other relics double, tripple, etc. there are, it should be at least 20 foreskins alone in southern europe. There was at most 18 holy foreskins in Europe.
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Apr 2, 2017 19:43
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HEY GAIL posted:and it makes manifest the great chastity of this woman and a discretion without parallel in the woman she had married Mmhmmm....chastity. Suuuuure.  Or maybe it didn't count to these guys if no dude was involved?
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Apr 2, 2017 19:55
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I mean, part of the entire Greek creation myth is spilled sperm from the castration of Uranus yielding various gods and people. Maybe sperm is the underlying theme of all ancient life.
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Apr 2, 2017 21:39
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extra stout posted:I'm going back to the olden days when I could own a bunch of land, feed my cat You would own nothing. Maybe less, and you would probably have to kill and eat your own cat at least once during your lifetime.
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Apr 2, 2017 21:59
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Deteriorata posted:Tossing them to the crowd after a sermon like plectrums. And we've circled back to the thread title
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Apr 3, 2017 00:21
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feedmegin posted:Mmhmmm....chastity. Suuuuure.
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Apr 3, 2017 01:11
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HEY GAIL posted:captain hendrich, siege of turin, 1640. her comrades valued her enough to send an expedition to the french to get the body back for burial, which since it's a step or two up from "into the common pit" is pretty good for the 17th century. Recent grave studies say about 10% of the soldiers during the Napoleonic wars where women.
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Apr 3, 2017 02:01
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sbaldrick posted:Recent grave studies say about 10% of the soldiers during the Napoleonic wars where women. That's interesting. Do you have an example?
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Apr 3, 2017 02:20
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Oh and can this please go in this or a future OP 
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Apr 3, 2017 02:47
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Disinterested posted:Oh and can this please go in this or a future OP You're like 2 years late to the party buddy, but nice try.
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Apr 3, 2017 13:33
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C'mon, let it all out Dalael. You know you want to do it.
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Apr 3, 2017 13:42
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JaucheCharly posted:C'mon, let it all out Dalael. You know you want to do it. I'm not nearly as dumb as I look. Well... kinda.
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Apr 3, 2017 13:43
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