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Blue Labrador
Feb 17, 2011

Oh wow, I'm used to Fates having turbo garbo writing, but I kinda really liked that Orochi-Kagero support? There were some moments in that that I really dug.

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Endorph
Jul 22, 2009

there are actually some decent-good supports. Generally the non-romance ones.

CptWedgie
Jul 19, 2015

Tae posted:

This whole candy-making hobby is just a pretext to pick up women?

Saizo and Asugi really don't get along, do they? Maybe it's just because Saizo takes everything too seriously...

Tae posted:

One wonders why you befriended me.

Well, at least Orochi has a reason to be so picky, if it doubles as a memento of meeting her best friend...

Tae posted:

You're going to make me blush with all your gushy talk.

Gotta admit, normally I don't like Orochi, but I can't help liking this support.

RareAcumen
Dec 28, 2012




Blue Labrador posted:

Oh wow, I'm used to Fates having turbo garbo writing, but I kinda really liked that Orochi-Kagero support? There were some moments in that that I really dug.

Even if they don't turn out great mechanically every time, they're written pretty decently, IMO.

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!
Asugi, Izana, Kana, Takumi are out. Asugi is banished forever to the candy lands

Carlioo
Dec 26, 2012

:krakentoot:
Remember when Robin/Chrom in Awakening would ask the whole army something and various army members would give their support? That was pretty cool! In Fates, it seems that all we get is Ryoma saying "Of course we're all behind you, don't be stupid!" Feels kinda empty when one person speaks for the whole cast IMO. Also, it took until Iago messed up for Garon to switch to plan B? So everything up to this point as been going as planned?

Guys, I think this game's writing might be bad.

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!


Asugi is out forever, with Kana, Takumi, and Izana taking a temp vacation.



The almost-invisible people are back, along with these new monster thingies called Stoneborn. They are slow as poo poo, but have high attack and defense.

Rock: 9 mt, 80 hit, 1-5 range

Stoneborns are incredibly dangerous because they hit from absurd distances and hit hard enough that anyone outside of super defenses die to the clean-up crew.



Kaze starts off with the first kill, gaining some absolutely needed strength. He's now at a paltry 17 attack for a level 2 promoted unit.



Rinkah once again one of the few that can one-shot the super bulky enemies, thanks to that Bolt Axe. Not much EXP though for anyone over level 5.



I guess at this point I can dub it a Silas level if he just gets strength and health.



My strategy to safely avoid the stone golems wrecking me is to have Oboro and Silas be the frontliners with Scarlet using Rally Defense. I'm not risking losing a character at 55% hit rate.



Five damage :gonk:



After clearing the first wave, Corrin steps up and activates the Dragon Vein. The "choice" here is either to make a bridge or spill lava that saps HP each turn and bring in more enemy reinforcements. Those reinforcements show up for three turns combined with limited movement from the lava, before the bridge then completes itself.

So to save you like an extra hour of this map, just always Dragon Vein the spot under the white orb.



Of course, do be careful when activating the bridge because those powerful enemies get in range real quick.



Gotta clear some garbage here first. First sign of a Levin Sword, but again it's on a literal zero magic unit.



Uh...hmm. Well, at least he's got C rank bows now?

Setting up defenses for the next wave. Lots of bow users on the right side, to prevent any easy flier cheese strategy.



Counterattacks got me a Vengeful katana, so some good money there for me.



Niiiice.



Thankfully, Oboro's Seal abilities work at any range so it's easier pickings to kill these stoners.



Azama nets himself some ground, while Felicia trips and falls on a healing level.



christ, a lot of characters letting me down this moment.



Mighty Midori summons lava to harden himself! Also she's been proccing a Gold Bar every turn, which is a cool 1k gold profit.



Well...I guess it IS good enough because you have monstrous HP for some reason.

She also picks up Golembane, what a coincidence to combat these things (She still can't one-shot them).

On the other hand, she is effectively an anti-Mechanist because those things also count as puppets. Although seeing any more of those on a Birthright run makes it kinda filler after this.



Well, at the halfway point now.



Kaden's skill is kinda mediocre at 18, which is a problem since the slower Beastrune reduces it by 5. Also, his one niche at being a Cav killer is getting harder to justify since there's been barely any cavs in general.



Kaze's niche as a mage killer is working out at least.



Hinoka teetering the edge of those archers and Stone Golem in the distance, and picks up a free Sun Festal for her troubles.



Some standard clean-up of the left side before moving on to the right with Oboro in wait.



Complain long enough and they start fixing the issue. Kaden also picks up Even Better for the occasional heal.



Just one more bridge, just one more bridge....



Mozu, gain some resistance.

...that's about it. I'm really trying to think of major flaws at this point for her.



Excellent. More importantly, she picks up Rally Speed so all my speed problems are basically fixed for the rest of the game. Between her, the cafeteria, and tonics, even Orochi can...oh.



Almost there!



Boss Stoneborn is slightly better stat-wise, and Massive Rock is 15 mt. Still not that threatening due to low resistance.



The mages are gonna die when you fight them, please focus on the other things now



Double gold power with Azama picking up Profiteer as well.



Your life ends...here.

These things can talk???



It opens up its face to spit rock at you? Why has no one commented on these things yet???



The boss attacking once triggers the lava thing that would happen if you hit the wrong Dragon Vein.



Impossible...

Scarlet and Hinoka tag-team to take down the boss, which somehow calms the other enemy units down?



Another Master Seal, which are kinda useless at this point.



Literally no one will mention about what those stoners were.

Corrin, look!



A cave! That wasn't here before, was it?
Jakob, is that...what I think it is?
Yes, this must be it.
What are you two talking about? Care to enlighten the rest of us?
Do you feel that breeze? It's fresh air, coming from that passageway. Unless I'm mistaken, it will take us directly to the capital of Nohr, Windmire. There were rumors of such a thing, but I never knew it actually existed...

What a coincidence. Although to be fair, it's a hell of a path to get to this short cut.

But wait, short cuts are two-way. What happens to the people that want to get away from Windmire....?



Yes, if what they suspect is true, this passage would be a massive shortcut.
The air is unmistakable. But I don't see why the path would lead here...
The Rainbow Sage must have known about this.
O-or maybe he built the secret path himself!
Yeah? Well then why didn't he just tell us about it? Sure woulda saved us a lot of trouble and guesswork...
Hey! The Rainbow Sage gave us a hand-drawn map. What else do you want from the guy?
Yeah, yeah. I know.



Oh right. That's still a thing.

I can just see the traitor now, telling the Nohrians our EXACT route...
Takumi...do you truly believe there is still a spy among us?
I'd like to believe not, but...we haven't exactly had the best luck so far.
There's no time to debate this. Not when we're about to enter Nohr proper. Now is a time for unity, not division.
That's right. We're probably going to have to face off against Xander and Camilla soon...
But I'm prepared to fight even them, if I have to.

SweaterGear
Jan 4, 2010

There's a Monopenguin! :swoon:
The stoneborn have a cool design, but I wish their attack animation was less "vomit brown stuff" and more "pick up rock and throw it".

fucking love Fiona Apple
Jun 19, 2013

samus comfy so what

When discussing the Deep Realms I always go back to this video.

AradoBalanga
Jan 3, 2013

You'd think the gang would be commenting on all these enemy troops cloaked in a purpleish flame that renders them invisible, especially seeing the mix of Hoshidan and Nohrian classes running about. And that these exact kinds of enemies were involved in the death of Queen Mikoto.

But nope, the plot wants you to ignore this and move on to killing Garon. Or to be specific, it's screaming: "Hey, you want answers? Go play the Revelation route."

LordHippoman
May 30, 2013

I, frankly, want this smug Jagen to be my avatar on all forms of social media immediately.
I love the way the Stoneborn look, but they're just the worst to fight. More Ballista-likes? How'd you know it was my birthday, Fates?

Camel Pimp
May 17, 2008

This poster survived LPing Lunar: Dragon Song. Let's give her a hand.
Ballista-classic at least can't counter you at close range.

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!
I rolled a 5, which means in my convoluted chart, the next kid will be

quote:

smells like burning hair

DON'T GIVE US FOOD POISONING!

very sweet of you

inthesto
May 12, 2010

Pro is an amazing name!
Stoneborns are just loving rude enemies in general and I never enjoy fighting them.

At least they don't do effect damage against fliers, I guess.

Melomane Mallet
Oct 11, 2012

I'm bad; I'm just not born that way.

Tae posted:

I rolled a 5, which means in my convoluted chart, the next kid will be

Quick question: how are you determining which kid to do when? It seems to be father's order of joining so far; is that it?

I.E., Jakob, being our last joining dad, goes unmarried this playthrough?

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!

Melomane Mallet posted:

Quick question: how are you determining which kid to do when? It seems to be father's order of joining so far; is that it?


I just pick any dad, more focused on birthright right now because I'm nearing the endpoint.

-----------------

B-A Support

Are you being sarcastic?

You're really getting into this, aren't you?

We should both try to be the best versions of ourselves.

I want you to give me lessons!

CptWedgie
Jul 19, 2015

Tae posted:

We should both try to be the best versions of ourselves.

Hinoka really doesn't seem the type for all that stuff, does she?

Tae posted:

I want you to give me lessons!

Well, this gives an in-story explanation for their A+ support giving them access to each other's classes; most A supports don't bother, from what I've seen.

RareAcumen
Dec 28, 2012




Tae posted:

So to save you like an extra hour of this map, just always Dragon Vein the spot under the white orb.


Aw gently caress.

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!
B Support

The meal that Setsuna made for us was an absolute abomination. I'd rather eat cow pies than suffer through one more day of her cooking. Honestly, I'm not even sure that was fit for human consumption. Perhaps I should beg Lady Hinoka to banish her from the kitchen.
*sniff sniff* Oh, gods. What is that offensive scent? It smells like burning hair. Wait. No, am I already too late?!
Azama, is something the matter? I'm just whipping up another meal. Did that savory scent bring you down to the kitchen?
Well, a smell brought me down. I don't know if I would call it "savory" though. More like "haunting," or "nauseating."
I'm glad that you're looking forward to trying my latest dish.
Somehow, I don't think my feelings are getting through to you at all. Setsuna, are you just playing dumb? Sometimes I really wonder.
I hope everyone enjoys my new meal as much as the last one. I'll need to do my best considering the expectations this time.
Listen, normally I'd be delighted to laugh off your insanely oblivious nature. But unfortunately my life is at stake, so I need to be crystal clear.
For the love of all that is holy, you must make something fit for an actual human.
Fit for a human...
Oh. You mean something only a master chef could come up with. I understand.
I haven't the foggiest notion how you came to that conclusion. Why are you reinterpreting what I said? How could I be more straightforward?
You don't need to. I hear you loud and clear, Azama.
Don't worry... You don't want me to rest on my laurels. Obviously I need to aim higher. Just you leave it to me...
No, this is just a big misunderstanding. Listen to me closely.
DON'T GIVE US ALL FOOD POISONING!

A Support

Azama, how did you enjoy the meal I made the other day?
I'm still in shock, but I have to admit that it was excellent.
From the moment I took my first bite, I was in heaven. The rich collection of spices and herbs was unlike anything I've ever tasted. It was like there was a savory miracle right in my mouth.
I've never had a meal that made me feel so gobsmacked before.
Oh, thank you...
How have you kept your talents obscured for so long? Have you been a visionary chef all along, and I just didn't notice it?
If you cooked like this every time, I wouldn't have given you such a hard time.
You asked me to cook a dish that only a master chef could. So I had to get creative. Maybe there is a culinary guru within me.
That's a fascinating theory.
But let's hold off on calling you a guru just yet. Tell me step-by-step how you came up with this alarmingly delicious meal.
Normally, I'd try to figure out which flavors I wanted to stand out the most. Or how I could combine plates to please every unique palate.
But that would require a lot of thinking. How bizarre.
After your request yesterday, I realized that I had to change up my process. For once, I wasn't going to think so much. I wanted to be in a serene mindset. Like monks when they meditate.
After a while, I reached a zen state. It was like I'd achieved nirvana...
OK, let me get this straight. You worked hard to think EVEN LESS than usual. And decided it was a good idea to cook that way for everyone here. Is that right?
Yes, exactly. That's how I made the meal.
To think that my sarcastic remark brought about a culinary miracle. Amazing.
As you know, I meditate every day. And it's true that freeing yourself from thought can be an enlightening experience. Perhaps you tapped into a preternatural gift you didn't know existed. Either way, I'm just pleased that I got to enjoy such a delicious meal!
Setsuna, I demand that you never think again when you cook in the future. Please, I beg you!
OK, if you insist...

S Support

Azama, do you have a moment to talk?
Sure. What is it? Are you going to cook a meal again tonight?
No, it's not that. I—
IF you are, I can't overstate how important being in your zen state will be.
If you do that, the food is guaranteed to come out perfectly sublime again.
I have to be totally honest with you. That's not exactly what happened last time.
What do you mean?
Well I told you before that my secret was not thinking about what I was doing.
But the truth is I was actually trying my hardest to make something you might like.
What?!
Oh no, I didn't mean to tell you...
Well of course you didn't! So why were you so intent on pleasing me anyway?
I... I like you.
Incredible. You know, you're really one of the strangest people I've ever met. I barely understand you. How could you possibly like me anyway? I'm always being rude and sarcastic!
That's very sweet of you to say.
As per usual, you don't understand me! *sigh* I can't believe I'm saying this... But perhaps fate brought us together for a reason. Only someone as inherently kind as you could ever accept me for who I am.
It's as if the gods are staring down and laughing their heads off at me.
You mean—
Fine, yes. I admit it. I like you too. And I've felt that way for a long time. This is so embarrassing.
Oh, Azama, you always say the sweetest things to me. I'm overwhelmed...
You and me both, Setsuna. Say, why don't we go for a walk? I think we've got a lot to discuss.
Hmm? You sound different somehow.
Heh. Well, maybe I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. Sometimes I feel like I might get on other people's nerves.
I can't imagine why...

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

Tae posted:

Heh. Well, maybe I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. Sometimes I feel like I might get on other people's nerves.
I can't imagine why...

I imagine Setsuna's probably the only person in the game who could make that response with 100% sincerity and no trace of sarcasm.

Crosspeice
Aug 9, 2013

I suppose it makes sense to randomize the S supports, since FE romance has always been pretty random, even moreso in Fates when the Supports are really meh.

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!
I roll a dice so no one's hands are marked when Elise or Mozu is picked

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!



This description lies





What the hell, Saizo's not even a support option

Hey, Azama, you look terrible. Like you've seen a ghost.
No, nothing that awful. It's just that my daughter's village is under attack.
What? That's FAR worse. We have to get there and rescue her.
Let's see... I guess it is worse, though everyone has to die sometime.
What?! We're talking about your daughter here! Let's get to saving her, man!
Impatient, aren't you? Then let's go, if you're in such a hurry.

Why is Saizo a better parent for someone else's kid

*A moment later*



This is where Mitama lives, right? Then where IS your daughter?
This is not good... I don't see her anywhere...
Oh! Ah! I'm wrong. There's an air of calm here. She must be fine.
Hmm. Somehow I seriously doubt that. Look at this place, you fool.
Um, well...she's probably fine. I put her in a perfectly sound house.



...We're going in to check on her safety, you damned fool.

Setsuna's probably the one mother that would be okay with how Azama's handling this




That's a ton of enemies, and all these enemies are super high-level. The range is now 13-17 thanks to story scaling. The goal is technically is to rout all enemies, though there are bonus scenes if you reach the house.

Bench 3, top gets voted out forever, bottom gets permanently picked: http://www.strawpoll.me/12662316

inthesto
May 12, 2010

Pro is an amazing name!

Tae posted:

I roll a dice so no one's hands are marked when Elise or Mozu is picked

I can't fault this reasoning, and it's all the more shame that they're two of the best mothers in the game. Mozu, at least, I can kind of see being just a small person in their early 20s. There's really no way to rationalize Elise.

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!

Drakenel
Dec 2, 2008

The glow is a guide, my friend. Though it falls to you to avert catastrophe, you will never fight alone.

Why is my brain screaming at me? It's really loud. :saddowns:

TheKingofSprings
Oct 9, 2012
fire the devs responsible

Spatula City
Oct 21, 2010

LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING

the writing has really made Elise seem....special. I gathered pretty early that she was actually an adult. but her behavior is clearly "mentally 8 years old at best". so everything she says makes more sense if she's developmentally delayed.

CptWedgie
Jul 19, 2015

Spatula City posted:

the writing has really made Elise seem....special. I gathered pretty early that she was actually an adult. but her behavior is clearly "mentally 8 years old at best". so everything she says makes more sense if she's developmentally delayed.

That's bad enough, but combine that with her appearance and nobody's gonna buy her actually being an adult, at least by modern standards.

PassingPie
Aug 18, 2013

Fire Emblem Fates: Technically they're adults, so

EponymousMrYar
Jan 4, 2015

The enemy of my enemy is my enemy.
Will Garon's atrocities never end!? :argh:

BlazeEmblem
Jun 8, 2013

Uh oh. Do I use Ariadne thread or Goho-M?

CptWedgie posted:

at least by modern standards.

Her adulthood isn't modern standards. It's Middle ages standards.

Junpei
Oct 4, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 11 years!

BlazeEmblem posted:

Her adulthood isn't modern standards. It's Middle ages standards.

Yeah, in actual medieval times, royal girls usually got married in between the ages of 11 to 14, and royal men weren't much better at 15-18. So it actually sort of makes sense. Doesn't mean we can't find it weird and stupid.

Also! Hoshidan non-royal cast age headcanon go!

Rinkah: 19-22
Kaze and Saizo: 20-23
Kaden: 19-21
Hayato: 13-15
Orochi: 24-28
Reina: 29-33
Kagero: 23-25
Azama: 26-28
Setsuna: 17-20
Hinata: 16-18
Oboro: 15-18
Hana: 14-16
Subaki: 17-20

inthesto
May 12, 2010

Pro is an amazing name!

Junpei posted:

Also! Hoshidan non-royal cast age headcanon go!

Everyone is an adult of approximately my age. Some of them are just taller or shorter than others.

My fragile psyche refuses to entertain any other possibilities.

Endorph
Jul 22, 2009

Spatula City posted:

the writing has really made Elise seem....special. I gathered pretty early that she was actually an adult. but her behavior is clearly "mentally 8 years old at best". so everything she says makes more sense if she's developmentally delayed.
i dont think this is true and also this'd be more hosed up than if she was 15 or whatever

Space Bat
Apr 17, 2009

hold it now hold it now hold it right there
you wouldn't drop, couldn't drop diddy, you wouldn't dare
Maybe my perception of anime is out of whack but all of the non-kids looks like adults to me. It seems Elise is just written to be immature and childish, I don't think the localization team wants you to assume she's mentally disabled. While they may have failed at that, is up to debate.

Also I bought Conquest today as a result of this LP. I considered Birthright just because it's easier but I figured it would be nice to get a sneak peek at Conquest. Now to decide if my Corrin's a boy or a girl.

Spatula City
Oct 21, 2010

LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING

Space Bat posted:

Maybe my perception of anime is out of whack but all of the non-kids looks like adults to me. It seems Elise is just written to be immature and childish, I don't think the localization team wants you to assume she's mentally disabled. While they may have failed at that, is up to debate.

Also I bought Conquest today as a result of this LP. I considered Birthright just because it's easier but I figured it would be nice to get a sneak peek at Conquest. Now to decide if my Corrin's a boy or a girl.

obviously the localization didn't intend that, but that's how it comes off to me. or maybe I hate this anime trope of dumbed-down arrested development girls. It's something lost in translation between Japan and America, I assume, as I guess this type is charming to people in Japan.

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!
Voting's almost over, I did not expect Izana to be one of the ones out. The pre-promote bias is stong. Sakura staying is equally surprising.


Spatula City posted:

obviously the localization didn't intend that, but that's how it comes off to me. or maybe I hate this anime trope of dumbed-down arrested development girls. It's something lost in translation between Japan and America, I assume, as I guess this type is charming to people in Japan.

She's clearly a young, energetic girl that the localization team covered their bases in the laziest way possible. Her voice clips support that. Now if she talked like Setsuna who's hiiiiiiiigh as hell.....

RareAcumen
Dec 28, 2012




Elise is chipper. Anything beyond that is a bad case of reading wayyyyyy too much into things.

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Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!
B-A supports

You're awfully knowledgeable, Mozu.

I love helping people, but I gotta admit that gabbing makes me tired.

It's exquisite!

'Cause I like ya, I guess.

------------------------------

Izana, Kana, Kaden is out. Sakura is a permanent addition

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