/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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chernobyl kinsman: Mar 18, 2007; a friend of the friendly atom; Soiled Meat

if a man won't club a werewolf to death using his own infant as a bludgeon he's no man at all

# ? Apr 2, 2017 19:12

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# ? May 14, 2024 03:07

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

You're required to say "I wouldn't abandon my infant in hopes of increasing my own chance of survival" even if it's not true, so posting that you wouldn't do that means nothing here!!!

# ? Apr 2, 2017 19:37

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Alternate scenarios:

1. Lewis made a pact with dark powers beyond the ken of mortal men. In exchange for a strange boon, he offered his first-born, at the time believing he would never have children. Understandably, when one of the brutish, sub-human servitors of The Twisting Smoke of a Thousand Shattered Mirrors appeared, Lewis did not want to be present while it claimed his progeny.

2. Monsters of the type that the masked man resembled (the vile Thorglax) murdered Lewis' entire bloodline when he was a baby. A group of them showed up searching for their quarry that night. The Thorglaxi have hunted him his entire life and know his scent. Lewis fled the house knowing that the creatures did not yet know of his scion, the child fated to destroy the foul race of monsters forever, as prophesied by the Sheboygan Seer. Lewis was able to elude the creatures once again, but he cannot reveal his burden to his wife, so he must now appear as a coward.

3. Lewis is the dude from Memento, but with a kid instead of a dead wife.

4. His friends are lying and Lewis isn't talking, whether out of fear or loyalty. What happened that night?

# ? Apr 2, 2017 19:43

Laughing Man: Feb 11, 2008; I thought what I’d do was pretend I was one of those deaf mutes, or something...

I'd like to think I wouldn't leave my baby like that but I've never been in a fight or flight situation before so its hard to say, wonder how many of you just saying "yea I got the baby no prob" are in the same boat.

# ? Apr 2, 2017 19:43

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

ArbitraryC posted:

Woulda been better if he bolted with the child and ended up seriously wounding the 2 month old when he inevitably tripped or something running at full speed trying to carry a baby.

What? I suppose you think the thing that jumped out and ambushed him might prefer to give chase to him rather than eat babies, as well?

# ? Apr 2, 2017 19:44

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Pvt.Scott posted:

What? I suppose you think the thing that jumped out and ambushed him might prefer to give chase to him rather than eat babies, as well?

Yeah honestly even if was just some robber what would they do with a 2 month old sitting on a doorstep other than ignore it. Not like they're gonna bring the baby to a lineup and see which one he crawls to.

# ? Apr 2, 2017 19:49

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

They'd probably find the husband so pathetic and feel bad for the baby and just leave while shaking their head at that point

# ? Apr 2, 2017 19:58

Dunning Krugerrand: Dec 23, 2015; purestrain pyrite

I'm willing to cut him some slack on taking off initially, and I say that as someone whose first reaction to a guy banging on the door and screaming FIRE in my apartment complex is to drag my cat out from under the bed before dashing out the door out in my pajamas with no shoes, wallet, or phone. Wasn't a prank either, the building next to mine was burning and my cat peed on me in terror when she smelled the smoke. Your lizard brain takes over and you just do the thing whatever it is. You don't know how you'd react until it happens and you're not in control of yourself anyway, so I can't blame him for that part. I *do* fault him on not coming back or calling the cops, and disappearing long enough for his wife to come get the kid herself. That's inexcusable.

# ? Apr 2, 2017 20:04

Enfys: Feb 17, 2013; The ocean is calling and I must go

54 40 or gently caress posted:

And honestly it doesn't matter if you're scared and that's your lizard brain, when you're a parent the first thought should be to get your child to safety

That's not how your "lizard brain" works though. You can't reason with a part of you that doesn't operate on reason but on instinct alone.

Outside a lot of special training (which even then generally requires a certain kind of temperament), most people have zero control over how they react to perceived threats to their life.

Acting like a reaction that is outside a person's control is some kind of moral failing is ludicrously judgmental and unfair. Especially if you have never been in a situation where you genuinely believed your life was at risk. It's cool to play internet heroes and go "I would totally do x,y, and z in this situation", but you have literally no idea how you will react in those kind of situations until they happen. It's basically the same way that part of your brain makes you remove your hand from something hot before you consciously realise you are being burned - the part of you that "decides" to move your hand doesn't operate on conscious control.

# ? Apr 2, 2017 20:09

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

i just want to point out that what made the baby abandoner freak out wasn't a person covered in blood, or a man with a gun, but rather someone in a dollar store clown mask and a spooky halloween sfx cd

# ? Apr 2, 2017 20:36

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Skratte posted:

He puts thumbtacks in people's chairs. He is probably really hard to live with. Ah, finally, at last, an excuse to divorce this knucklehead.

Yeah what the hell? He deserves it all

# ? Apr 2, 2017 21:54

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

what about the wife's instinctual animal desire to no longer gently caress a giant bitchman

# ? Apr 2, 2017 21:55

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Mirthless posted:

Honestly I think people in this thread and on /r/relationships are a little trigger-happy when it comes to divorce. If you loved somebody enough to have a child with them, presumably, you'd try to work through this.

Plenty of folks marry someone they don't love because they accidentally got knocked up.

# ? Apr 2, 2017 22:28

Tiocfaidh Yar Ma: Dec 5, 2012; Surprising Adventures!

Enfys posted:

That's not how your "lizard brain" works though. You can't reason with a part of you that doesn't operate on reason but on instinct alone.

Outside a lot of special training (which even then generally requires a certain kind of temperament), most people have zero control over how they react to perceived threats to their life.

Acting like a reaction that is outside a person's control is some kind of moral failing is ludicrously judgmental and unfair. Especially if you have never been in a situation where you genuinely believed your life was at risk. It's cool to play internet heroes and go "I would totally do x,y, and z in this situation", but you have literally no idea how you will react in those kind of situations until they happen. It's basically the same way that part of your brain makes you remove your hand from something hot before you consciously realise you are being burned - the part of you that "decides" to move your hand doesn't operate on conscious control.

Like the dude ran away for hours though right

Pretty sure most people would realize that they weren't being chased by werewolves or whatever after like 10 minutes max and feel super dumb and try to come back or call someone.

Like I'm sure I wouldn't be the best parent in the world or anything but I can't imagine putting my baby down, then getting spooked by a scary face and not just running from the room but leaving the area, letting a good amount of time pass, not answering calls/turning off my phone or whatever. He had plenty of time after the fact to make a more rational decision and he basically chose to write off his kid. He deserves to be divorced

# ? Apr 2, 2017 22:32

Mighty Steed: Apr 16, 2005; Nice horsey

Well at least he didn't devour the baby like he was a hamster. Give the guy some credit.

# ? Apr 2, 2017 22:35

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Laughing Man posted:

I'd like to think I wouldn't leave my baby like that but I've never been in a fight or flight situation before so its hard to say, wonder how many of you just saying "yea I got the baby no prob" are in the same boat.

yeah and I've been in a couple where I just bailed on reflex too, for like five seconds until my brain caught up with what was going on and I went back to deal with poo poo

but it was real emergencies like a stranger violently breaking into my house an arm's length away not 'i saw a scary mask' though maybe the scary mask instinct is different and more powerful idk

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 23:19 on Apr 2, 2017

# ? Apr 2, 2017 23:12

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Maybe he doesn't want to take care of a baby and ran away 'cause he thought his problem was about to take care of itself.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 00:30

Waterbed Wendy: Jan 29, 2009

a woman's scream and a mask of undefined detail?

i bet the man thought it was his dear wife who had come to surprise him, she let out a scream upon remembering that life is a crushing slog of embittering disappointments and embarrassing lapses of emotion. he knows she does this a lot so when he saw the mask he assumed it was her regular face twisted in sharp mortal anguish.

and so seeing that his wife was there he suddenly remembered that he left the oven on at home and left the babe to greet her at the door as he dashed away. he avoided his phone because he just wanted to get home and back to see his loving family and wouldn't want to be sidetracked by his friend's needling him yet again for a night out.

it's all as simple as that.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 00:40

Dunning Krugerrand: Dec 23, 2015; purestrain pyrite

Here's a story about another sort of parental abandonment.

Me [35M] with my wife [33F] of 9 years, wants to give up our daughters for adoption

quote:

Using a throwaway because I'm pretty active in some other subs and don't want this associated with my main account.

My wife and I have been together since college and got married a little while after she graduated. When we first got together she told me she didn't really like kids and while I was a little disappointed, I didn't care too much about it. I didn't feel very strongly about it either way. We were very in love and things were perfect for a good while. Her birth control failed six years ago, and I told her that I would support whatever choice she made. She scheduled an abortion, but backed out the day before and we became loving and enthusiastic parents. Later on down the road, she decided she wanted another child and so we had our second daughter. They are five and three years old, and absolutely perfect. They are both very well behaved and ahead of the curve for kids their ages.

Another thing that's worth mentioning, my wife is a SAHM. My job is very demanding and I am out of town for weeklong stretches at a time once a month, and then 9-6 the rest of the month. I've had this schedule since we were married, basically. I make good money, in the low six figures, and we've never had any kind of financial struggles.

For the past few months, I've known something was up with my wife. She is obviously the primary caretaker of our daughters, but recently she's been completely hands off when I'm at home. I don't mind spending the extra time with my daughters taking care of them, but it's more than that. She will completely ignore them while I'm around. If they ask her for anything at all she tells them "go ask Daddy" and will go in our bedroom and lock the door to get away from them. I've been asking her if she's alright, and she had been insisting everything was fine until last night.

After we put the kids to bed, she came to me and sat me down at the table. She started talking about fun things we had done right after we got married, what a great adventure everything had been, just generally reminiscing. She was being sweet and funny and loving and my guard was down. She said "back before we had the girls, we could do anything we wanted. I wish we could go back to that." I asked her what she meant. After much prodding she admitted that she regretted having kids. I said that there were times where I felt overwhelmed too, but that I would always love our daughters. She got quiet. She mumbled something and I asked her to say it again. She yelled "I DON'T LOVE THEM" and then started sobbing.

I sat there with my mouth hanging open. She composed herself and then started talking again. She was saying how she had been looking into adoption agencies and foster care. She had contacted one agency already. She was making plans to give away my CHILDREN. I continued to listen, too dumbfounded to say a word, as she babbled on about how amazing it's going to be to have our lives back, how great our relationship will be when we don't have kids anymore.

I didn't know what to do. I let her talk herself out, and when she went to bed I went and got my babies, packed some things, and drove to my mother's house. I called in sick to work today. I told them I'd probably be out the rest of the week.

I have a ton of missed calls, voicemails, and texts from my wife. I haven't looked at any of them. I've spent the day talking to my mom about things and keeping the girls occupied. My mom doesn't know what to do either.

I'm thinking I have a couple of options: start calling lawyers or start calling mental health professionals. Maybe both. I don't know if she's having some kind of psychotic delusion or if she's just that awful of a person. I really don't want to go back home to her now. Ever. I'm thinking divorce is the best choice, but I can't take care of my kids on my own. What should my next move be? Should I try to call my wife?

tl;dr: Wife went off the deep end, tells me she regrets having our daughters (3 and 5) and wants to give them up for adoption so we can go back to our old life. I do not know how to proceed, in any regard. Please help me figure out how to handle this.

**EDIT: Additional Info

She's not at home all the time with them. They go to pre-k for six hours a day four days a week. My mom takes them pretty much every other weekend. She gets a lot of time to herself, even though it could be more, and on nights when I'm home she goes out with her friends often, and lately when I'm home she doesn't see the kids at all... It's still possible that she's overwhelmed, but she's not the isolated 'barefoot and pregnant' chained to the stove woman you're picturing here.

We've both always been pretty low libido, I would say we have sex once a week and we try to have a date night every other week (leaving the girls with my mother). We are very affectionate towards one another. She graduated with an art degree. When we first got married she was working as a teacher, she taught english and art in a local high school. She hated it, and she quit when she was pregnant with our first. She has a "studio" in our house, basically an extra bedroom with all her art stuff in it that the kids aren't allowed in, and she paints when the kids are out of the house. She feels like her degree is useless, but told me she wasn't interested in going back to school.

We used to pay for a weekly maid service, but my wife decided she didn't want to spare the expense.

I'm just looking for input right now. Honestly I feel like her response to this situation was completely out of line and nearly unbelievable, and I'm not sure I want to continue a relationship with someone who considers giving away her kids before even asking for help. She has consistently denied that anything was wrong and apparently put up a front to make me think that she wasn't struggling.**

# ? Apr 3, 2017 00:51

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

That wife needs :therapy:

and lots of it. No joke my friends grandma once dropped a couple of her kids off at the orphanage, just decided she didn't want them anymore. She went and got them back but holy crap back in the day you just...dropped them off

# ? Apr 3, 2017 01:03

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

Maaaan, the updates on that are basically what you'd expect. Poor lady going through a breakdown, poor kids who seemed to have already adapted to it =[

# ? Apr 3, 2017 01:08

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

It sounds like dude's wife has been mega depressed for years now and she just can't deal with it anymore. I hope she gets the help she needs. :smith:

# ? Apr 3, 2017 01:42

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

54 40 or gently caress posted:

That wife needs and lots of it. No joke my friends grandma once dropped a couple of her kids off at the orphanage, just decided she didn't want them anymore. She went and got them back but holy crap back in the day you just...dropped them off

Even worse - that was the only safety net. My great-grandfather died in an industrial accident and my great-grandmother had to run an illegal speakeasy and, once grandma was old enough, pulled her out of school to take care of the kids so she could go back to honest, non-Al Capone oriented work. Otherwise she would have had to give up her children to the orphanage because there was no other way to keep them.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

It sounds like dude's wife has been mega depressed for years now and she just can't deal with it anymore. I hope she gets the help she needs.

She's bipolar, and even after treatment decided she wants nothing to do with the kids. Like, not even stopping by on their birthdays.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 01:43

Hug in a Can: Aug 1, 2010; NICE FLAMINGO
kind heart
fierce mind
brave spirit

be good and try hard!

Bonster posted:

She's bipolar, and even after treatment decided she wants nothing to do with the kids. Like, not even stopping by on their birthdays.

I looked up the updates. Here's the first one, posted a few days later:

quote:

Here's the OP. Tl;dr is that my wife, a SAHM with plenty of outlets and time away from the kids, told me she didn't love our daughters and casually mentioned that she was looking to adopt them out so that we could play newlyweds again. I was blown away and took my daughters to safety at my mother's house after my wife went to bed.

I second-guessed myself a little after the initial responses I was getting from my first post. I didn't expect anybody to side with my wife. I should have given more information from the start but I didn't realize all that stuff would be relevant. I thought that from the fact that she was trying to adopt out our kids without my knowledge people would realize that the issue was with her. (I'm not trying to say I'm perfect by any means, but I took a lot of unwarranted criticism.) Anyway, after I elaborated on our situation a little more, I got a ton of helpful advice and support! Thank you to everyone who commented, or sent me a pm. I took a lot of the advice to heart.

This update is going to be long. A lot of really crazy poo poo has happened.

I'm in the process of finding a live-in nanny now, and I appreciate everyone who suggested it. Yesterday I contacted a lawyer for advice, and then bit the bullet and called my wife. One of my close friends lives a few houses down, so I explained the situation and had him on standby. I left my daughters with my mom and came back to the house to meet with her.

She was absolutely furious. The first words out of her mouth were "Where the gently caress have you been, you piece of poo poo?" When I got to the house, she berated me for leaving without saying a word to her or answering the phone. She accused me of cheating on her, called me a pig and an rear end in a top hat, and ranted for a good fifteen minutes straight. She didn't say a word about the kids. Didn't ask me where they were, or if I had taken them. It's like she had forgotten they existed.

I cut her off, told her where I had been and that I had taken the girls to my mother's house. She seemed caught off guard. She asked me why. I explained to her that the way she had talked about adopting them out was not acceptable, and since she didn't care about them I didn't think they were safe around her.

She blinked, and said, word for word, "wait, you want to keep them? Don't you love me?" I lost it. I'm not proud of it but I couldn't hold it together, reddit. It devolved into a screaming fight with me telling her she was loving insane and her yelling that I didn't love her. I went through the house and packed up all my valuables and personal documents with her screaming her head off at me the whole time. My friend came in to try and calm her down, but she threw a plate at him and told him to get the gently caress out.

At this point I called the cops. She dug her hole deeper by punching one of the cops, and then biting the other once she was cuffed. I am now 100% certain that she's having some kind of psychotic break. She will be evaluated soon, but either way I'm going through with the divorce. I doubt I'll have any trouble getting full custody, especially with that call to the adoption agency on her phone records.

After my wife was arrested, I cleaned up the house and brought my daughters back home. They haven't asked where mommy is yet, but I don't know what to tell them when they do. I'm looking into taking a lower responsibility role at work, at least to where I'm not gone for a whole week at a time. I will still be heavily reliant on a nanny, but I can't stand the thought of my daughters not having a parent there to put them to bed every night.

tl;dr: Got a lawyer. Met with my wife. She thought I had cheated on her, basically didn't even realize the girls weren't home. When I told her I wasn't okay with adopting out our daughters, she accused me of not loving her, and then assaulted my friend when he came to help smooth things over. I called the cops, she got arrested, sucker punched one cop and bit another. I am divorcing her, seeking full custody, and dialing back my work schedule.

EDIT Growing up my father was a schizophrenic. I'm not interested in putting my daughters through what I went through. Even if she gets treatment, it will be a constant worry for me. If she had cancer, or some other illness, it wouldn't affect her love for our daughters. I wouldn't have to worry that she would murder them or abandon them or hurt them when I wasn't around. That's the difference.

EDIT 2 I called my mom and she said she told my daughters that their mommy had to go on a trip for a little while. That's why they haven't asked about her so far.

Three months later:

quote:

Previous post tl;dr Met with my wife. didn't even realize the girls weren't home. She accused me of not loving her, then assaulted my friend. I called the cops, she got arrested, sucker punched one cop and bit another.

It's been a good while since my last update, but things are progressing so I figured I'd post something.

My wife has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She is undergoing extensive therapy and trying to work out her legal issues as well. I'm still not sure what direction that is going to take, my wife's parents have been helping her with legal arrangements as she refuses help from me, and didn't even want to use my insurance to help with her medical bills. (She ended up having to anyway, and I've been sending her parents money to help with paying what's left over). We mutually decided to go ahead with the divorce. She didn't want custody of our daughters, or even visitation. I practically begged her to at least come to their birthdays and holidays, but she said no. I'm hoping that it's a symptom of her illness and that once she progresses through her treatment enough she will change her mind, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

I found a wonderful au pair who is fantastic with my daughters. According to her, they're very self sufficient and don't need much help with keeping themselves entertained or anything really. I suspect my wife had been ignoring the girls even when I wasn't around.

They've been constantly asking me when mommy is coming back and I don't know what to tell them. I have to try really hard not to cry in front of them because I don't want them to worry about me. We've been going to family therapy together but still haven't found a way to explain that mommy might never come back, or she may show back up and not be nice, or she may show back up and be her old self again.

My friend (the one she threw a plate at) and his wife and kids have been hanging out at my place a lot to keep us all company. He's been a godsend throughout this whole experience. He decided not to press charges against my wife for the plate thing.

This will probably be my last update. The feedback I've gotten from you guys has really helped to ground me during these events. Even just getting validation that I'm not crazy helped. Thanks for everything, reddit.

tl;dr: Wife is sorting out her legal issues on her own by choice. Turns out she's bipolar, but after medication and therapy still doesn't want anything to do with our girls. I don't know how to explain things to them even in therapy, but my friend and his family have really been there for us during this hard time.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 02:07

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

post-partum depression, bipolar disorder, didn't want kids to begin with. they're all better off.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 02:14

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

quote:

I second-guessed myself a little after the initial responses I was getting from my first post. I didn't expect anybody to side with my wife. I should have given more information from the start but I didn't realize all that stuff would be relevant. I thought that from the fact that she was trying to adopt out our kids without my knowledge people would realize that the issue was with her. (I'm not trying to say I'm perfect by any means, but I took a lot of unwarranted criticism.) Anyway, after I elaborated on our situation a little more, I got a ton of helpful advice and support! Thank you to everyone who commented, or sent me a pm. I took a lot of the advice to heart.

people actually sided with the wife who was making adoption preparations behind her husband's back

# ? Apr 3, 2017 02:21

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

looking forward to see how long it takes for him to gently caress the au pair

# ? Apr 3, 2017 02:41

Blitter: Mar 16, 2011

Enfys posted:

That's not how your "lizard brain" works though. You can't reason with a part of you that doesn't operate on reason but on instinct alone.

Outside a lot of special training (which even then generally requires a certain kind of temperament), most people have zero control over how they react to perceived threats to their life.

Acting like a reaction that is outside a person's control is some kind of moral failing is ludicrously judgmental and unfair.

Well, what you say may be true, but people are allowed to make judgements about their partners qualities and compatibility. Someone that abandons an infant because "were-wolf" and "scary scream" seems pretty clear cut example of the kind of person the wife doesn't want around, and that sounds fair enough.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 02:55

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Blitter posted:

Well, what you say may be true, but people are allowed to make judgements about their partners qualities and compatibility. Someone that abandons an infant because "were-wolf" and "scary scream" seems pretty clear cut example of the kind of person the wife doesn't want around, and that sounds fair enough.

To be fair that is also mostly bullshit as well.

The lizard brain thing is general just a lazy excuse more than a real thing.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 03:00

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Have you people never done werewolf survival training or something? You leave the baby behind because the werewolf will slow down to eat it, allowing you to escape.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 03:41

Alan_Shore: Dec 2, 2004

I honestly can't believe some people defended running away from your baby and leaving it with a possible murderer.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 03:47

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Alan_Shore posted:

I honestly can't believe some people defended running away from your baby and leaving it with a possible murderer.

But biotruths

# ? Apr 3, 2017 03:48

Modus Pwnens: Dec 29, 2004

Alan_Shore posted:

I honestly can't believe some people defended running away from your baby and leaving it with a possible murderer.

Look, why even have children if you can't use them as decoys?

# ? Apr 3, 2017 03:50

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Adoption wife dude's story is sad AF but at least she is not gonna bother them anymore. A big part of it may also be him being gone all the time for years. I hadn't really realized how bad my wife was cracking up from being at home for quite a while, but at a certain point she basically said "I know you were taking classes to go back to school but I am starting grad school this summer goddamn it and you will pick up the slack with the kids." I put my classes on hold and we bought some childcare and she is in an intensive grad program and does not miss being a SAHM one little bit. Our relationship has gotten better and she is happier. Being a stay at home parent can drive some people insane.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 04:02

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Modus Pwnens posted:

Look, why even have children if you can't use them as decoys?

A child serves basically the same purpose as a lizard's tail. Better, in fact, because they also make plenty of noise.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 04:05

Criminal Minded: Jan 4, 2005; Spring break forever

Baby-ditcher should hook up with bipolar adoption lady.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 04:20

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

That's not what spare the expense means.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 05:18

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

therobit posted:

Adoption wife dude's story is sad AF but at least she is not gonna bother them anymore. A big part of it may also be him being gone all the time for years. I hadn't really realized how bad my wife was cracking up from being at home for quite a while, but at a certain point she basically said "I know you were taking classes to go back to school but I am starting grad school this summer goddamn it and you will pick up the slack with the kids." I put my classes on hold and we bought some childcare and she is in an intensive grad program and does not miss being a SAHM one little bit. Our relationship has gotten better and she is happier. Being a stay at home parent can drive some people insane.

*disrupts entire class to tell a rambling "as a mother" story that's at best tangentially related to the material*

# ? Apr 3, 2017 05:19

Iron Prince: Aug 28, 2005; Buglord

ArbitraryC posted:

*disrupts entire class to tell a rambling "as a mother" story that's at best tangentially related to the material*

*gets interrupted up by the two year army veteran in the class dragging it out another 40 minutes*

# ? Apr 3, 2017 05:23

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# ? May 14, 2024 03:07

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

ArbitraryC posted:

*disrupts entire class to tell a rambling "as a mother" story that's at best tangentially related to the material*

Grad school is a lot different than undergrad, and she has the benefit of having seen that non traditional student in undergrad and therefore not wanting to be them. She is also studying the same field she set aside to stay at home after having kids, and has more experience in that field than kids fresh out of undergrad. But the real difference is that maybe half of her cohort are also a bit further into thier lives as well. While she does roll her eyes pretty frequently at the 22 year olds in the program, it is a more collaborative environment where hopefully people are less interested in just talking to score points in some weird generational culture war.

I, on the other hand, was taking prerequisites for a second bachelor's degree at community college at 34. That poo poo is surreal. Basically you have to keep your mouth shut and not talk to your classmates at all if you don't like hearing late adolescent drama.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 06:33

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