/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

At least children will be there for you in your old age. You raise beetles all you get is a shat-on carpet and beetle skeletons clogging up the windows.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:21

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# ? May 15, 2024 09:30

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Ouhei posted:

She's a monster. I'll call her a monster with mental issues if that makes you feel better, but she's still a monster.

Sure, that's all I ask

My complaint was with the erasure or minimization of a mental health problem, not with you condemning their lovely behavior

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

At least children will be there for you in your old age. You raise beetles all you get is a shat-on carpet and beetle skeletons clogging up the windows.

Tell that to the millions of elderly people living in retirement homes who never see their kids

If you're having kids so somebody will take care of you when you're old, you're having kids for the wrong reasons

Gerblyn posted:

I still don't understand why she agreed to have a 2nd kid. She didn't want the 1st one, and she can't have thought that a 2nd would have somehow improved her situation.

IMO - She was lonely and thought it would solve her problems

What she really wanted was her husband to work a 40 hour a week job so she could spend time with the person she clearly loves a lot more than her kids

Mirthless fucked around with this message at 16:25 on Apr 3, 2017

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:22

Dunning Krugerrand: Dec 23, 2015; purestrain pyrite

Prank gone wrong, tale as old as tiiiiime.....

My (21f) BF (22m) of a year put Tabasco sauce in my food as a joke. I ended up in the emergency room after it got in my eyes and reacted with my contacts. He's apologized but still I'm crushed because I'm deeply in love with him and don't want to be the butt of his jokes

quote:

So like the title says, I've been with Bennet for a year and I really love him. He's a great guy for the most part and this event was really out of character for him.

We were out with all his friends, I was the only girl. The conversation sort of left me behind so while I wasn't saying much I felt I was engaged and laughing at the stories. When I went to the bathroom apparently Bennett told his friends "this should liven her up" and dumped a bunch of Tabasco on my salad.

I ate it and freaked because I hate spiciness. It was instantly painful in my mouth. That's bad enough but he had spilled some the table and gotten on my napkin. My eyes were tearing up so when I wiped them with the napkin it was like instant searing pain in my eyes because the Tabasco chemically reacted with my contacts. I honestly felt like I was going blind or dying or both. I made a huge scene in the restaurant and Bennett rushed me to the ER.

They were able to flush my eyes somehow and it got better but my contacts are ruined and it was my last pair. I know this sounds dramatic but my eye was sore for a good day and half afterwards. I have to wear my glasses now until I can get into a eye doctor and they are old so out of date and I have to go to class with glasses I don't see clearly out of.

Bennett apologized over and over and got me flowers but I'm still crushed that the guy I'm in love with saw me as the butt of a joke. I honestly don't know if I can get over this because every time I try to drive or read I'm reminded that he did this to me...trying to be funny. I don't want to be s drama queen but is this something that I can get past?

tl;dr: My BF put Tabasco in my food and it ended up getting in my eye which got me to the ER. He's apologized but I don't know if I can get past this.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:25

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

On one hand this may be one of the more lightweight pranks posted ITT

On the other hand don't ever gently caress with anybody's god drat food :sever:

What if she had a food allergy? rear end in a top hat!

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:27

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Mirthless posted:

Sure, that's all I ask

My complaint was with the erasure or minimization of a mental health problem, not with you condemning their lovely behavior

Who loving cares? This is an irrelevant comedy forum, not a council of elders condemning her for life. What we say about her doesnt matter in any way, least of all to her.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:29

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

It kinda sounds to me like he was trying to prank her to try and get her engaged with the group and be part of the fun, not make her the butt of a joke. That one at least seems well-intentioned to me and appropriately apologetic, unlike vaseline in the bathtub or Larry David wannabe dropping a baby or whatever.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:34

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

quote:

We were out with all his friends, I was the only girl. The conversation sort of left me behind so while I wasn't saying much I felt I was engaged and laughing at the stories. When I went to the bathroom apparently Bennett told his friends "this should liven her up" and dumped a bunch of Tabasco on my salad.

The attitude of her boyfriend here strikes me as really lovely, imo. Like, a total lack of respect for her.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

It kinda sounds to me like he was trying to prank her to try and get her engaged with the group and be part of the fun, not make her the butt of a joke. That one at least seems well-intentioned to me and appropriately apologetic, unlike vaseline in the bathtub or Larry David wannabe dropping a baby or whatever.

Weird, I got the exact opposite vibe, like he's calling her out for not being engaged.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:35

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

Mirthless posted:

Sure, that's all I ask

My complaint was with the erasure or minimization of a mental health problem, not with you condemning their lovely behavior

IMO - She was lonely and thought it would solve her problems

What she really wanted was her husband to work a 40 hour a week job so she could spend time with the person she clearly loves a lot more than her kids (who she doesn't love at all)

Probably splitting hairs at this point but I am minimizing the mental health aspect because I think her actions go above and beyond them, but it's not worth fighting about. I did add some fun bolding to your last bit though.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:37

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Who What Now posted:

Who loving cares? This is an irrelevant comedy forum, not a council of elders condemning her for life. What we say about her doesnt matter in any way, least of all to her.

Movie pitch: people who ask for relationship advice in a particular magazine column start dropping dead. Upon further investigation, the deaths are linked to discussions on a dying comedy website that last had new members in 2004.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:39

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Mirthless posted:

Tell that to the millions of elderly people living in retirement homes who never see their kids

If you're having kids so somebody will take care of you when you're old, you're having kids for the wrong reasons

theres this weird thing where conservatives and leftists who both read abt life from blogs have this rigid IF/THEN grasp on relationship dynamics or life in general. like in conservatives it's IF yr poor THEN u didnt work hard enough whereas in libby lib-libs like mirthless its "IF my parents hated me THEN all parents and children loath each other."

anyway mirthless heres how it works: death is a curse on the living. you have to have more babies to continue the curse or all of society ends. there wont be enough people to hold the yakuza beetle hordes at bay & theyll eat all the crops. with no young succulebnt flesh society gets top heavy wit olds and collapses. im having kids to outsorce the burden of my life, lmao if ur too scared of committmentt to do the same

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:43

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

It kinda sounds to me like he was trying to prank her to try and get her engaged with the group and be part of the fun, not make her the butt of a joke. That one at least seems well-intentioned to me and appropriately apologetic, unlike vaseline in the bathtub or Larry David wannabe dropping a baby or whatever.

how the gently caress would that work

like even middle school kids intuitively grasp that slipping some poo poo into someone's food while they're not looking is way on the bullying end of the scale, even if he was idiotic enough to not be able to predict how anyone would be likely to react to being singled out as the butt of jokes when they're already acting awkward and isolated

he was having fun with his buddies and wanted to impress them by punking on someone outside the friend circle, full stop.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:46

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Movie pitch: people who ask for relationship advice in a particular magazine column start dropping dead. Upon further investigation, the deaths are linked to discussions on a dying comedy website that last had new members in 2004.

Almost like that one episode of Black Mirror

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:46

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Who What Now posted:

Who loving cares? This is an irrelevant comedy forum, not a council of elders condemning her for life. What we say about her doesnt matter in any way, least of all to her.

Ouhei posted:

Probably splitting hairs at this point but I am minimizing the mental health aspect because I think her actions go above and beyond them, but it's not worth fighting about. I did add some fun bolding to your last bit though.

Look, language matters. Whether or not the language is being used on a dead and/or gay comedy forum, language matters.

Lots of people who might seek out help otherwise don't because of the stigma associated with it. There are thousands of mothers out there who struggle with loving their children - that, itself, isn't monstrous. It's a normal thing that happens to a lot of people. One of the big problems with postpartum (and many other mental health conditions, for that matter) is that people shame the poo poo out of women who have it. If she'd been able to admit to herself and her husband that she was having these difficulties she might have been able to work through these problems before she had a psychotic break.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:52

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Mirthless posted:

Look, language matters. Whether or not the language is being used on a dead and/or gay comedy forum, language matters.

Context matters too, and depending on the context just how much particular language matters can change. For example, if the context is "a mirthless post" then language matters so little it's effectively irrelevant.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:56

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

how the gently caress would that work

like even middle school kids intuitively grasp that slipping some poo poo into someone's food while they're not looking is way on the bullying end of the scale, even if he was idiotic enough to not be able to predict how anyone would be likely to react to being singled out as the butt of jokes when they're already acting awkward and isolated

he was having fun with his buddies and wanted to impress them by punking on someone outside the friend circle, full stop.

it's like a gang man, you want in you gotta be jumped in, you walk with this crew you gotta handle the HEAT

I dunno I could type boring words here about intentionally putting focus on her as a way to make her the center of conversation blah blah. I don't think surprise tabasco sauce would be an egregiously harmful thing to most folks but he is supposed to know his girlfriend and predict her response, as well.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 16:57

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

it's like a gang man, you want in you gotta be jumped in, you walk with this crew you gotta handle the HEAT

I dunno I could type boring words here about intentionally putting focus on her as a way to make her the center of conversation blah blah. I don't think surprise tabasco sauce would be an egregiously harmful thing to most folks but he is supposed to know his girlfriend and predict her response, as well.

spitting in someone's sandwich while they were in the bathroom wasn't egregiously harmful either, when I was 14, it still was the kind of treatment even the really lovely kids reserved for people they didn't like and knew they could hound without consequence

# ? Apr 3, 2017 17:02

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

First time I ever got suspended in middle school, some kid was loving with my food so I poured a carton of milk on his head in retaliation. That's my lunchtime bully story, thank you.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 17:04

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

the funny version of that prank is putting salt in someone's soda. it tastes weird as hell but it's harmless and you giggle about it.

hot sauce, tho, don't gently caress with hot sauce and ESPECIALLY don't spill hot sauce all over the table including their napkins and leave it there

# ? Apr 3, 2017 17:04

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

spitting in someone's sandwich while they were in the bathroom wasn't egregiously harmful either, when I was 14, it still was the kind of treatment even the really lovely kids reserved for people they didn't like and knew they could hound without consequence

Uhh no tabasco sauce is pretty distinct from spit and that's a pretty bad thing to do and also different!! Something tells me those guys mess with each other, as well, and it's not just reserved for outsiders. I will read your response but not bother continuing this very unimportant resolution here.

*movie character waits, suspended over a vat of tabasco while thread decides his fate*

# ? Apr 3, 2017 17:08

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Fullhouse posted:

the funny version of that prank is putting salt in someone's soda. it tastes weird as hell but it's harmless and you giggle about it.

When I was a kid and we were visiting family in PA one time, my mom made Kool-Aid with salt by accident.

The only food prank I ever did was once time in high school one dude was rambling on and on and wouldn't shut up, so I put a tiny hole in a mayo packet and squirted onto his hand while moaning. He stopped babbling and a good time was had by all.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 17:11

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Once in highschool a couple guys jizzed on a donut and gave it to another guy to eat. Back then I was super grossed out when I heard about it but now as an adult it's shifted to what the gently caress.
How's that for messing with someone's food. The gently caress is wrong with people

# ? Apr 3, 2017 17:14

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Once in highschool a couple guys jizzed on a donut and gave it to another guy to eat. Back then I was super grossed out when I heard about it but now as an adult it's shifted to what the gently caress.
How's that for messing with someone's food. The gently caress is wrong with people

Oh yeah well one time in medical school someone cut the blood clot out of a cadaver's brain and put it in my friend kevin's lunchmeat and ahhhh just kidding this is disgusting!!!

# ? Apr 3, 2017 17:21

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

Been a while since Mirthless had a hill to die on :allears:

# ? Apr 3, 2017 17:23

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

LethalGeek posted:

Been a while since Mirthless had a hill to die on

No hill here, no death either, the discussion's already over and lasted for like 3 or 4 posts

# ? Apr 3, 2017 17:26

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Gerblyn posted:

I still don't understand why she agreed to have a 2nd kid. She didn't want the 1st one, and she can't have thought that a 2nd would have somehow improved her situation.

turns out crazy people make bad life choices

# ? Apr 3, 2017 17:27

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

Mirthless posted:

Look, language matters. Whether or not the language is being used on a dead and/or gay comedy forum, language matters.

Lots of people who might seek out help otherwise don't because of the stigma associated with it. There are thousands of mothers out there who struggle with loving their children - that, itself, isn't monstrous. It's a normal thing that happens to a lot of people. One of the big problems with postpartum (and many other mental health conditions, for that matter) is that people shame the poo poo out of women who have it. If she'd been able to admit to herself and her husband that she was having these difficulties she might have been able to work through these problems before she had a psychotic break.

Language matters, but so do actions and context. We're talking about 6 years where she's never said anything to her husband or family about what she's going through, sure there's a stigma attached to it but you'd have to imagine at some point in 6 years she'd have enough clarity to go "I should tell someone about this", but nothing. Then you get to her breaking point which was to shop around for ways to get rid of her kids without consulting her husband.

For me ultimately the bipolar diagnosis and probable postpartum offer a glimpse into why she did some what she did, but it doesn't excuse her (which I know you're not trying to argue) or make me feel any real sympathy for her either. I'd feel sympathy and put more weight on the mental issues if she had expressed any sort of remorse or desire to fix any of it after the fact, but she hasn't so I don't really give a poo poo if she has mental issues.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 17:31

Kullik: Jan 5, 2017

Well i got cought up on the children having part of the thread and i can safely say I'm a weirdo apparently cause i cant stand kids bullshit and wouldnt want any even if i didnt have to pay for them.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 17:50

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Yawgmoth posted:

You are incredibly lucky, all the nontrad students I had to deal with in college were awful at both balancing school/* and at shutting the gently caress up during class. Nothing like getting "yeah I can't do any work on this group project because I have a family. I also can't pick up the phone or answer a loving email because of that family. Sorry you don't have anything better to do with your life than homework. " throughout a semester.

All, really? Maybe just the ones you notice disrupting class or something because there are a lot more of them our there.

That's hilarious that you think someone with kids is worse at balancing responsibilities than a 20 year old though. I basically have had to give a disclaimer at the outset of any group work involving the 20 year olds that I am willing to do as much or as little of the project as they want, up to and including all of it, but for the love of god if you can't produce the work on a timeline tell me now so I can do it myself necause I DO have responsibilities and need to complete my portion ahead of schedule. Invariably one of them will go no-contact the day before it needs to be handed in without finishing thier work.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:12

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Just the title because the post itself is an unreadable massive wall of who cares

I am [30M] and I love my fiance [30F] of 5 years. She has just got her second dui, will have 200k in student debt and makes bad decisions. Is marrying for love worth the future pain?

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:17

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Bubblyblubber posted:

Just the title because the post itself is an unreadable massive wall of who cares

I am [30M] and I love my fiance [30F] of 5 years. She has just got her second dui, will have 200k in student debt and makes bad decisions. Is marrying for love worth the future pain?

gonna go with yes, just because this idiot needs to take one for the species and lock this trainwreck down before she manages to trick some poor naive widower with two kids

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:21

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

My (17f) Grandpa set up an amazing college fund for me. He passed away last year and now my grandma is telling me I only get the money if I promise to speak out against abortion. This is so crappy I know, but should I just withhold the truth from her?

quote:

u/UofAclassof2021
so I'm graduating high school in a little over a month, I got accepted to the school of my dreams. I was always so close with my grandpa and he set up a college fund for me when I was little, he always wanted me to follow in his footsteps to be a doctor but his only condition was that he'll pay for college as long as I get good grades. I've seen the accounts and they aren't in my name but the promise was I would come to him any time I needed tuition, books, rent, etc... he would write whoever needed money a check.

He was in amazing health and was actually killed while out for a walk by a guy was text-driving. It was devastating to me and I'm still not over it.

Now that it's coming time to pay for school I've tried to talk with my grandma to see if grandpa's offer still stood but that I totally understood that if she needed the money. Shes always been very "blue blood" and cold and I've never been close with her (for example when I became a teenager she used to count her silver spoons after I'd leave to make sure I wasn't stealing them for drugs even though I've never given her a reason to think that).

She said that she would be happy to honor my grandpa's agreement but that I must spend my time on campus "speaking out on the horrors of abortion." She's always been so cold I honestly never knew she cared about this. In that conversation I told her I would because I was taken aback by her request but now that I've had time to think I see how terrible it is. I mean every time I ask for money (that was long ago promised to me) will I need to justify that I've done "enough." Maybe even provide proof that I was at a rally or what not?

I mean I really have to other recourse other than the promise my grandpa made and now my grandmother is honoring but with her conditions. This money means that I can make it through the grad school or my choosing with no debt but are these conditions too much to abide by? If I take the money I'll be dishonest because I'm never going to go on some anti abortion crusade.

tl;dr: My grandma is only willing to give me the money my grandpa promised me for college if I promise to speak out against abortion. I can't do that so what should I do?

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:22

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

therobit posted:

All, really? Maybe just the ones you notice disrupting class or something because there are a lot more of them our there.

That's hilarious that you think someone with kids is worse at balancing responsibilities than a 20 year old though. I basically have had to give a disclaimer at the outset of any group work involving the 20 year olds that I am willing to do as much or as little of the project as they want, up to and including all of it, but for the love of god if you can't produce the work on a timeline tell me now so I can do it myself necause I DO have responsibilities and need to complete my portion ahead of schedule. Invariably one of them will go no-contact the day before it needs to be handed in without finishing thier work.

In my experience, the older students had learned from past mistakes and applied them (managing your time, being proactive with working in groups, making the most of office hours, etc) and I was impressed that people who hadn't been in school in decades were acing classes that their younger counterparts were more familiar with.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:22

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Whether or not you should lie to your grandma for a life-changing amount of money depends on how much you like her.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:24

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

And now this one, where posting on reddit, somehow, solves everyone's problems:

Boyfriend [22/M] posted on reddit multiple times that he is falling for another girl and he wants to break up with me [21/F] but acts like the relationship between him and I is perfectly fine Relationships

quote:

submitted 5 days ago by sweatybellybutton

Hello! I wanted to preface this by saying thank you for taking the time to read about a stranger over the internet and her relationship problems.

This is a throwaway for obvious reasons.

My boyfriend and I had a rough start. We started off as friends with benefits but eventually became a committed couple. I had ridiculously abusive parents and I was also very poor. This meant I relied on him a lot for rides and money. However, I would seldom ask for the amount of generosity he would give me but he insisted that he did it because he loved me and didn't expect much in return. We've known each other for 3 years, been together for 2, and in the last 8 months I was able to move out of my parents' house, get a job, and a car. Things we were both waiting so long for. The past couple years have been hard on me but he was always my rock. However, now that life is looking up for me, I find that he is no longer as caring as he once was.

About a month ago he posted on reddit saying how he wanted to break up with me because he felt suffocated and how with my newfound independence he realized how much he gave up for me. I felt extremely hurt because for the majority of our relationship I have always encouraged him to not prioritize me the way he did and whenever I would attempt to hang out with friends of my own he would always get insecure to the point where I would stop hanging out with them even though he never said I should. I was honestly so peeved about how he'd whine about how insecure he was that I stopped seeing most of my friends altogether.

In his posts he also mentions how he feels guilty about wanting to break up with me since I am in love with him but he feels much better on his own or with his friends.

The day after this post he immediately comes to my place after his class and is in tears, he's graduating from university this May and is under a lot of stress but what he's saying isn't lining up with what his reddit posts says. He mentions that he does love me and that he does want to be with me. He mentions that I wasn't a burden to him and he did all that he did because he wanted to and not out of obligation. He doesn't know that I know his reddit handle and I know this is a breach of privacy but he wouldn't communicate to me. This all dropped out of the clear blue sky.

When he first told me about his anxiety about graduation I hadn't read his post yet and I was surprisingly well-composed and suggested we break up and I wouldn't take it personally. If he feels he can't juggle work and school on top of graduation then I don't want to impede on his success. However the more we talked the more upset I became because he keeps saying that he loves me and wants to be with me. We agree to go on a break which I took pretty well initially until I read the post. Our guidelines for the break were to still keep in contact but at our own pace, he initially tells me that if I start falling for another guy and I feel like it's serious enough then I should go for it. Which was a huge red flag that I should have noticed sooner. During the times where he was the clingy one and I demanded a break, I never received one especially if I brought up the possibility of seeing other people. We managed to work out our prior grievances but I can't help but feel cheated. During the break he has spent a large amount of time with his friends which was to be expected, but I did feel neglected considering he would only make the effort to see me if his prior plans were cancelled and our dates were no where near as grandiose as the hang out with his friends.

Our spring break was last week and we went on a fairly nice date on March 19th where he held my hand, he said I love you, he seemed happy. However, through this month he has been changing. He has always been prim and proper and I was the only who would be outlandish and the dynamic work. However, I find that lately he has been extremely casual and he honestly is a complete 180 of the guy I first started dating.

I was happy in a way because the traditional side of him was a bit of a bother but this new.. "cool/cocky" attitude is a bit overdone.

A few days after I asked him if we could talk about the break and he just goes, "Oh yeah! Things went back to normal so I totally forgot we were even on a break" which was dumb and also highly unlike him.

I didn't feel relieved now that the "break" was officially over. Things seemed to go back to normal as he said but they still felt.. off.

I checked his reddit, which he did tell me his username ages ago but I think he forgot, and he posted saying how he's falling for a classmate, hard. and he mentions that he went out to bars, museums, and concerts 5 times over the break. I felt so loving blindsided. During break he would always ask me what I'm doing and who I was hanging out with but never told me this.

What bothered me even more was that the post was in regards to if he has a chance with her. He didn't even mention that he's still in a relationship AT ALL. The advice given to himis that he should pursue this girl and he seems like he will.

I planned a date this Friday but I told him I want to cancel it and have a talk instead.

I don't know how to feel. I felt like him blindsiding me was also my fault because earlier that week we watched an episode of a show that consists of drama, murder, and a gratuitous amount of affairs. I told him that if I were ever cheated on I would rather not know and I feel like physical cheating is more vile than emotional. Upon reading his post I wanted to take it all back. Both forms of cheating are obviously vile and I do want to know why he did this.

I guess my question is, what do you think of this situation and how should I approach this on Friday?

tl;dr: Boyfriend made posts saying he wants to break up and is falling for a girl hard but is telling me that everything is okay and that he loves me and wants to be with me. How do I approach him about this?

[UPDATE] Boyfriend [22/M] posted on reddit multiple times that he is falling for another girl and he wants to break up with me [21/F] but acts like the relationship between him and I is perfectly fine Updates

quote:

submitted 17 hours ago by sweatybellybutton

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/621qwi/boyfriend_22m_posted_on_reddit_multiple_times/

Hey reddit! As with my last post, I wanted to say thanks again for taking the time to read about a stranger's personal issues on reddit. For all of those who replied to my last post, I also want to say a HUGE THANK YOU! I read every single post and they were absolutely helpful

Prior to Friday, I was getting quite impatient and texted him asking what he thought I was going to bring up on Friday since I hadn't really mentioned anything in specific. He texted me back and told me that he knew I was aware about his posts and that someone found his post and sent him my post. Even if they didn't, he knew all along that I remembered his username and that I saw the posts.

On Friday we met up and talked for two hours. I actually brought an outline detailing all the questions I had and all the things I wanted to say. We started off airing out all the ugly such as discussing the girl he started falling for and I just straight up told him gently caress you for being a pussy about the whole ordeal. He owned up to it 100% which made things a lot easier. Despite all that happened the conversation was still civil, we weren't at each other's throats or anything of that nature.

After that we dissected the posts, both his and mine. We started off with his and I asked why he posted even though he knew I would see it and he basically said that he was too chickenshit to say it to my face but still wanted me to know, he immediately took responsibility and told me he knew how foolish that was. Then when it came to my post he agreed with it 100%. We both clarified and communicated to each other and we took it well, which had been a reoccurring problem. We've always had issues of being honest and if we ever started to be honest, the other party would take it personally which made it difficult to be honest.

He mentioned my traits that were abusive and I took responsibility. I did the same and he also 100% owned up to it.

After that we talked about the fonder parts of the relationship and how much we did grow into better people because of it. He inspired me to be a much harder worker and I inspired him to loosen up and become more personable.

We wrapped it up by honestly telling each other how the other could improve on as a significant other and person. Then we talked about we were so young when we first started, I was 18 and he was 19! We did a lot of growing up together and acknowledge now we need time to grow apart. We wished each other the best of luck with our lives and meant it.

It was surprising to have such a civil conversation. We had bred resentment towards the other over a period of 2-3 years and after two hours of an honest talk we forgave each other completely. I honestly was worried about not being able to forgive him because I am the type to hate holding grudges but I was able to forgive him and it made me happy that he was able to forgive me for all that I did wrong as well.

Overall, I feel better about this decision to split and I know he does too. It's time for the both of us to focus and ourselves.

tl;dr: Met up with him and we had a civil conversation and came to the conclusion it's time to be single to work on ourselves.

Breaking up through text message: cold af
Breaking up through reddit: cool and good, apparently

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:25

Thumbtacks: Apr 3, 2013

Bubblyblubber posted:

Can't decide on who's the biggest dweeb, the teenager doing ~~~ forbidden blood magiks ~~~ or the grown up afraid of it.

Me [23M] with my gf's brother [16M], who performs Satanic/Wiccan rituals on me

I realize this and the other Wiccan posts were like 40 pages back but I should point out that Wicca is odd because there's a lot of different ways to practice it (for a variety of reasons), the weird radical ones are just generally more vocal/noticeable (like every religion) so it gets a bad reputation

The vast majority of Wiccans aren't like summoning demons and poo poo and won't curse you to make you gay and gently caress them they just like nature

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:25

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Milotic posted:

My (17f) Grandpa set up an amazing college fund for me. He passed away last year and now my grandma is telling me I only get the money if I promise to speak out against abortion. This is so crappy I know, but should I just withhold the truth from her?

grandpa couldn't set up a trust or a 529 for his beneficiary? he was just going to cut her checks? the hell gramps

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:30

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

therobit posted:

All, really? Maybe just the ones you notice disrupting class or something because there are a lot more of them our there.

All the ones I had to deal with, i.e. had to personally be involved with. Not all of them in the school.

therobit posted:

That's hilarious that you think someone with kids is worse at balancing responsibilities than a 20 year old though.

That's not what I said at all, but thanks for projecting your insecurity on the topic really hard.

therobit posted:

I basically have had to give a disclaimer at the outset of any group work involving the 20 year olds that I am willing to do as much or as little of the project as they want, up to and including all of it, but for the love of god if you can't produce the work on a timeline tell me now so I can do it myself necause I DO have responsibilities and need to complete my portion ahead of schedule. Invariably one of them will go no-contact the day before it needs to be handed in without finishing thier work.

People can be poo poo regardless of age or load of responsibilities (real or perceived), the only difference is the poo poo shoveled. The ones I had to deal with were lovely because they chose to go back to school for whatever reason, then decided they could use ~*my family*~ to wiggle out of doing any schoolwork. if it makes you feel better, I'm sure that 20 years ago they lied to their classmates about having some other class project or needing to pick up another shift or some other single person excuse for the same effect.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:30

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Thumbtacks posted:

I realize this and the other Wiccan posts were like 40 pages back but I should point out that Wicca is odd because there's a lot of different ways to practice it (for a variety of reasons), the weird radical ones are just generally more vocal/noticeable (like every religion) so it gets a bad reputation

The vast majority of Wiccans aren't like summoning demons and poo poo and won't curse you to make you gay and gently caress them they just like nature

Post ur handfasting ceremony video

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:32

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

Thumbtacks posted:

curse you to make you gay and gently caress them

Does this work? Asking for myself.

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:37

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# ? May 15, 2024 09:30

Thumbtacks: Apr 3, 2013

tbh it probably would if you found someone convinced curses were real and told them that they're gay now but also that's rape

# ? Apr 3, 2017 18:44

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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