- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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Self owns are the best owns
Me [28F] with my best friend, and BF [29/M,28F], I accused them of having an affair. I was wrong. Relationships
quote:377 points 71 comments submitted 11 months ago by wrongideas to r/relationships
I hosed up so bad, Reddit and I don't know what to do.
My best friend [Mary] and I have been friends since we were little kids. She has been there for every hosed up thing that I did, and all my bouts of anxiety and depression. She stuck by me through awful relationships when I let people treat me like crap and overall has been one of the most supportive people in my life.
Two years ago I started dating Ben. Ben was amazing and I couldn't believe that he wanted to date me. Mary did a lot of work in those early days to get me to see that regardless of how amazing Ben was, that I was just as amazing, and didn't need to be grateful that he wanted to go out with me. She really encouraged me to love myself, and believe that I deserved someone who was kind to me. Even better, Mary and Ben got along and seemed to have a lot in common which was great because whenever we hung out I got to be around my two favorite people.
Lately though, I started seeing Ben and Mary texting each other a lot. Then my boyfriend changed his phone password. I didn't know what to think and ugly thoughts started to creep in. A friend of ours said that she saw them having lunch and when I asked him about it, he said that they had just seen each other and eaten together. I don't know, maybe I was feeling particularly insecure that day, but like an idiot I let that sit in my brain and fester.
Last night, Mary came over and when I left the room I could hear them whispering. I don't know why I chose that moment, but I lost it. I went back into the living room and asked them what was going on, then I basically steamrolled over them like a loving moron and accused them of sleeping together. Mary was started denying it and got really mad, then she told Ben that he could deal with me and left. Then Ben showed me a receipt for the day that he and Mary had lunch and the loving engagement ring to go with it. He had been planning to propose and had taken Mary along to size the ring, because like silly girls we had told each other exactly what kind of ring we wanted when we were younger "just in case".
I'm a fool. I'm such a fool.
We had talked about getting married but I didn't know that the proposal was coming this soon, so my brain hadn't gone there. Ben said that he needed time to think about where we stood because he couldn't understand why I would think that he was cheating on me. He said that the fact that I thought that meant that I didn't trust him. Mary won't even speak to me. When I tried to call and talk to her, she said that after all we'd been through together, she was really hurt that I would think that off her.
I don't know how to fix this. I completely hosed up with two of the people that have loved and supported me the most in the world and I don't know what to do. Do I just leave them alone and let time go by in hopes that they get less angry or should I try to explain myself.
tl;dr: I accused my best friend of sleeping with my boyfriend. I was wrong. How do I fix this?
I liked the friend peacing the gently caress out while the crazy railed at the bf.
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Apr 4, 2017 19:32
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 15, 2024 23:32
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- Nazzadan
- Jun 22, 2016
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The keyword "consent" is paying off so well, so many 0 upvote posts
I [19 M] recently learned about possible consequences of having shared nudes of minor GFs without consent. Now paranoid.
quote:I was watching documentaries about sex scandals with the most recent one being the Weiner sexting scandal. That made me realize that some of my past actions may have similar consequences as well.
I shared naked videos and pics without consent or awareness of my girlfriends. Some of them were still minors after I turned 18. One of them is still a minor till December. I've exposed my genitals on chatrooms online and sent dick pics to girls I know at school. I've shared naked pics of my girlfriends from school without their consent to my friends. I have uploaded some of it online on porn sites too.
I had also stored and forwarded pics of girls sent by my other friends as well. I've now deleted all data and am destroying hardware. But I still fear for files already shared, files in my friends computers and older phones exchanged. I'm scared of what will happen if the girls or the police find out and press charges against me.
TL;DR : Stored, shared and uploaded naked pics of my underage girlfriends even after turning 18. I want to know how I can safeguard myself from possible future risks and consequences.
Edit: I seem to have given the wrong vibes about the kind of relationship I was in. One of the girls had showed the dick pics I sent her to her friends too without asking my consent either. So it's not like I'm the only person at fault. So we had hookups before and after many of us turned 18...They never protested the presence of the camera or raise issue about filming it seriously. Our rxnship was casual
Edit 2: This ISNT child porn as we were in the same age group. This ISNT revenge porn as most girls were oblivious of the camera - I would have not shared if they did raise any concerns. Guys, I'm sorry I must have reworded it to prevent the misinterpretation. I'm sure the girls will pardon me if they learned what I did because they are guilty of sharing my dick pics first too when I was a minor. I think we were even. Unless the government would have any issue, I don't see myself in trouble. I'm still in physical contact with the girls once in a while and don't think they will freak out. I was more scared from a legislative point of view.
Edit 3: I will flag the sites it was uploaded as inappropriate content so it will be taken down. The girls don't look underage by any measure.
Edit 4: I don't understand the hostility I'm receiving from everyone here even when the girls whose photos I've shared may not be as concerned. Neither was I concerned about my nudes being shared by them until I realized government may have rigid laws that apply regardless of consent between the minors.
Edit 5: I failed to mention. I was probably 16 when my dick pics were tossed around. That's why I mentioned us being even again and again. Seriously, snapchat and chatroulette is filled with 14+ year olds with jerk offs seeking validation of their cocks. I don't think you're going to put 45% of british highschoolers in prison for that, would you ? I'm not alone. The fact that the question even came across my mind is a different matter of its own.
Some comments
quote:Honestly, if you shared pictures of underaged girls without their consent....you pretty much deserve consequences.
You had to watch a documentary to be told that is a horrifically lovely thing to do?
You don't feel badly for doing that by the sounds of it. You just don't want to get in trouble for it.
I really hope you are not real.
Edit:
Your edits are ridiculous.
quote:May I ask what protection you expect to have against child pornography and revenge porn laws?
OP
quote:Most of them are majors now. Only one of the girl is still a minor.
One of the girls had showed the dick pics I sent her to her friends too without asking my consent either. So it's not like I'm the only person at fault.
The girls and I are still in contact. I think I have given the wrong kind of vibes about our relationship.
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Apr 4, 2017 19:36
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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It's ok cause the girls were oblivious to the camera.
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Apr 4, 2017 19:41
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- Nazzadan
- Jun 22, 2016
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Me [21F] with my FWB [22M] of 2 months, he gets drunk and invites (sober) me over, I feel uncomfortable about consent.
quote:I recently started hooking up with this guy "Greg". I don't drink at all, and he knows this. He drinks often and with vigor. When he does, he tends to text me late at night and invite me over to hook up. I feel uncomfortable with this since I am 100% sober and he tends to be drunk, though not to the point of blacking out or anything.
So far, I've turned him down because I'm concerned about the lines of consent being blurred, even if he is the one inviting me over. Should I be worried about this? Am I being responsible or am I overreacting? I feel like my judgement of someones "level of drunkeness" is especially bad because I don't drink myself. Would just asking him how drunk he is be an acceptable solution to this?
tl;dr: Is it wrong to hook up with my FWB if he is drunk and I am sober, but he invited me to?
Reddit is not missing the chance to jump on this one in the comments calling out double standards when in reality this girl's just trying to cover her rear end and not feel morally in the wrong.
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Apr 4, 2017 19:53
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- Sisal Two-Step
- May 29, 2006
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mom without jaw
dad without wife
i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry
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The keyword "consent" is paying off so well, so many 0 upvote posts
I [19 M] recently learned about possible consequences of having shared nudes of minor GFs without consent. Now paranoid.
if this were a just universe, this idiot would never see a naked woman in the flesh ever again.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:01
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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if this were a just universe, this idiot would never see a naked woman in the flesh ever again.
fortunately this is just barely a just enough universe that he's probably going down for distributing kiddy porn
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Apr 4, 2017 20:04
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- Nazzadan
- Jun 22, 2016
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I have nothing to do at work so I'll continue posting
Me [22F] with my SO [24M], dad has threatened to cancel Christmas unless we sleep in separate rooms
quote:My SO and I have been together around 7 months now, both of us having met each other's parents pretty early on. My parents really like my boyfriend - they think he's respectful, intelligent, and treats me very well. With my parent's consent I invited him home with me for Christmas this year. He and I live in Canada and my parents in the States, so coming for Christmas would require us to fly back to my old town.
My parents live in a really small house that currently has no spare rooms available. My SO and I had planned to stay in the same room because of this (and also because we always sleep together). When my dad heard about this he got really angry and told me that my boyfriend would have to sleep on the couch. I, however, don't feel comfortable making him sleep in the living room for several days, especially after paying for the ticket to come join my family for the holidays. My dad refuses to budge, and it's come down to two options: relent, and have my boyfriend sleep on the couch without any privacy; or cancel the trip entirely and do something in Canada instead.
I don't really know what to do. I feel like my dad is being unreasonable, but don't know how to change his mind. I don't want to have to cancel the trip, but I'm having trouble deciding how I should approach this situation. Any advice would be appreciated 
EDIT: There are a few things that make me unwilling to accommodate my father:
My brother and his girlfriend are allowed to sleep over when they visit (they have been dating for the same amount of time my boyfriend and I have).
He's a late sleeper and my parents are very early risers, so they would wake him. There are constantly people walking through the living room and I think it would be very difficult to get a decent rest.
Everyone else in the family thinks it's ok to sleep in the same room, but my dad disagrees.
He's agreeing to come to my family's Christmas instead of his own, so I feel like he's already making a big sacrifice. It would be nice to make him as comfortable as possible.
We live in NYC, and a hotel during the holidays would cost a small fortune
TL;DR: My dad won't let my SO join us for Christmas unless we sleep in separate rooms. No space in the house, so boyfriend would have to sleep on the living room couch, which I feel is really disrespectful. Thinking about canceling the trip altogether.
Edit: Not relevant at all but going through her post history, she is really good looking.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:12
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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They should absolutely cancel the trip and spend christmas together at home. gently caress that. She is way way too old for her father to be policing her sexuality, that poo poo is downright creepy.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:16
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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Yeah daddy has a weird double standard of letting the son sleep with his girl together, but his daughter can't sleep with her man cause she might get railed and that's NOT HAPPENING UNDER HIS ROOF!!
yeah but
he doesn't want to gently caress his son
seems reasonable to me?
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Apr 4, 2017 20:23
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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yeah but
he doesn't want to gently caress his son
seems reasonable to me?
haha, I was gonna say
Edit: Not relevant at all but going through her post history, she is really good looking.
I bet this is more relevant than you think
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Apr 4, 2017 20:29
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- PHIZ KALIFA
- Dec 21, 2011
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#mood
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if a person 21+ can still get an Arousal in their childhood bedroom they should Not Be At Home.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:32
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- Sisal Two-Step
- May 29, 2006
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mom without jaw
dad without wife
i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry
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i thought about spoiling the ages for this one but nah.
Me [28/F] with my partner [29/m] now for one year, his friend [29/m] is causing real problems - What do I do?Relationships
quote:
I have been with my partner for a year now. His closest friend is one that he met at University. They both got jobs in their University town and have remained close friends ever since. Lets call him Dave.
The wider friendship group are a large group of about 6 m-f couples who are all quite close. They're all ok - we'll never be best friends, but most of them are nice enough, except dave. I'm not a fan of dave because I find him rude, offensive and deliberately controversial.
A long time ago, my boyfriend and his friends had booked to go on a canal trip and invited me along. Dave has told me that he intends to show me his penis whilst on the trip - the friendship group have told me that he's fixated on this and for some reason really wants to do it. He says that all the group have already seen it, that it's what happens and now it's my turn. He's also apparently said that he wants me to take my turn driving the boat and if I won't do it then he'll hold a knife to my throat.This was told to me by the friends as if it was no big deal at all. Dave also has a fixation with knives.
As it got closer and closer, I began worrying more and more about being in an enclosed space with Dave for a weekend and not being able to escape. I began getting migraines where I was in agony and couldn't see because of how stressed I was becoming. I eventually told my boyfriend who said if it was worrying me then I could stay at home, which ive decided to do.
I see myself being with my boyfriend long term but unfortunately Dave is a large part of my boyfriends life. Ive already planned to just not go to events where I'll know he'll be but I don't know if that will be enough. I want to marry my boyfriend and have children with him, but I worry about my kids mixing with daves kids and him becoming even more enmeshed in our lives. I think this is a real concern as Dave is 30, in a LTR and isn't going anywhere.
I also don't want to make my boyfriend choose. He's naturally quite mild mannered and I don't want to cause trouble for him, but at the same time I get annoyed that he enables this behavior. Apparently Dave was quite depressed at uni and the group think he has other unknown mental health issues and they justify his behavior because of this. Whilst I can see an element of truth in this, I don't think it justifies the things he does.
I'm also worried that if I deliberately distance myself from the group then I'll make things difficult for my partner, as I'll be the only "+1" not getting themselves involved the friendship group, and I can see this upsetting my partner.
I just wanted some advice on how to proceed.
tl;dr: Partners friend is deliberately controversial, and I'm concerned it will cause problems.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:33
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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if a person 21+ can still get an Arousal in their childhood bedroom they should Not Be At Home.
But that's the kinky part.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:35
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- JFairfax
- Oct 23, 2008
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by FactsAreUseless
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just push dave off the boat.
also who doesnt want to drive a boat.
and it's just a penis, loving hell lady just look at it and say 'ive seen bigger'
knifes are worryign though
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Apr 4, 2017 20:35
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- PHIZ KALIFA
- Dec 21, 2011
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#mood
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I knew a Dave once. He and his friend John were burnouts in my hometown's one band growing up, they ended up wacked out on thsi weird drug they called "Soy Sauce" and blew up like half the town trying to fight an extradimensional pig-computer.
They ended up making an awesome movie about it, they called it Girl, Interrupted.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:37
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- CharlestheHammer
- Jun 26, 2011
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YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
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just push dave off the boat.
also who doesnt want to drive a boat.
and it's just a penis, loving hell lady just look at it and say 'ive seen bigger'
knifes are worryign though
With how fixated this guy is it won't end at just seeing his penis.
Got to draw a line quickly
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Apr 4, 2017 20:38
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- Tiny Deer
- Jan 16, 2012
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"It's your turn to see my penis" is dialogue from a really hosed up serial killer film.
Or in this case, just from a serial killer.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:41
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- boner confessor
- Apr 25, 2013
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by R. Guyovich
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cool friend group that normalizes abuse. i bet they're all unhealthy bearded gamer types
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Apr 4, 2017 20:42
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- JFairfax
- Oct 23, 2008
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by FactsAreUseless
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*dave gets his cock out*
say "where's the rest of it?"
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Apr 4, 2017 20:43
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- Sisal Two-Step
- May 29, 2006
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mom without jaw
dad without wife
i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry
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there's an update but it's incredibly boring. she talked to her weenie bf, who talked to dave and then basically nothing happened and dave still treats the op like garbage.
quote:Boyfriend keeps saying he will speak to Dave but that was nearly six months ago and nothing has changed. I'm fuming st the fact that I'm so uncomfortable with daves presence that I'm having to miss out on group social stuff.
It's my partners 30th soon, and he's planning on having a big group meal. I asked who was going and he mentioned daves name. I said to him that if Dave was there then I wouldn't be. He didn't say anything. I have a feeling that I will be missing my boyfriends birthday as a result of this.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:49
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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"It's your turn to see my penis" is dialogue from a really hosed up serial killer film.
Or in this case, just from a serial killer.
"It's your turn to see Dave's penis" echo the boyfriend and his friend group in unison
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Apr 4, 2017 20:49
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- WoodrowSkillson
- Feb 24, 2005
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*Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*
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My (30f) fiancée (32m) ~four years. I left because of his coworker. Was I too impulsive?
quote:We've been dating for your years, engaged the last six months. Everything was great leading up to the last two months. Living together for two years, have a dog. In the last six months we've falling more and more in love with each other (or so I thought).
His work recently had a few functions in a row, and SOs and spouses are sort of obligated to attend. We've always gone as a couple and people know both of us, I'm friends with the other wives and girlfriends. Sometimes we hang out together and some of the women have a playgroup for their kids. I sometimes go just to hang out. It's really nice.
His company recently hired a few new professionals, and Becca is among them. She isn't very friendly to the wives and girlfriend crowd, she sort of steers clear of us but I've just sort of attributed it to maybe she's reserved and has trouble meeting people outside of work. I don't know. So, she's at all these events but doesn't have a boyfriend so she's always alone. She's VERY pretty and gets on very well with the people she works with, even the women.
The last function we were at, my fiancé actively ignored me the entire time, but he has a lot of time to talk with whatever group that Becca is with. I'll admit it isn't the first time it happened and it's ever since Becca started. We typically go together, he will come home and we'll get changed and have a bite to eat. But recently he's been getting changed at the office and I've had to drive to the functions alone. When we get home (he stays later to wrap things up and then passes out as soon as he gets home and only says "hey babe" and "goodnight".
I've brought it up to him one morning and he get upset with me and told me that he's been stressed from work and that I need to accept that he's not been feeling well. I told him that it's unfair that he's not leaning on me to help him and instead taking his negative feelings out on our relationship. He said that he isn't doing that. I just left it alone.
The other day he told me he was staying late because he and his boss were getting extra work done. I was actually AT his bosses house hanging out with his bosses wife and their kids, but I told him "ok, well I'll see you later on then" I hung up before he could reply. The wife hasn't gotten any call and said her husband gets to work at 7am so he can be home at 6, which was about 15 minutes away. I didn't really want to wait around so I just left.
Then I called my brother and a girlfriend of mine, they both met me at the house and helped me move all my stuff. Brother has a truck and a trailer so we took all the furniture since it's mine: couch, mattress, bed frame, my dresser, end tables, kitchen table, and all the appliances. Girlfriend helped me with clothes and toiletries and small things. We left the dog, he will be missed but I didn't sign his adoption papers.
Fiancé later got home and blew my phone up. Called my step-dad, went to my parents house. I had already called them to let them know that I was leaving and they told him that they had no idea what was going on.
That was about two weeks ago and he's still trying to get in touch with me. I'm staying with my girlfriend, he's never been to her house so he doesn't know where she lives. But I miss him so much and I wish I hadn't done this and I've been thinking about picking up the phone every time he calls. It's just killing me.
TL;DR: I left my fiancé because he was pulling away, ignored me at work functions, was paying a lot of attention to new coworker. But I'm still not sure I did the right thing.
Well he might be cheating and i'll know in 15 minutes so I'm just gonna leave now and destroy 4 years of a relationship
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Apr 4, 2017 20:49
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- JFairfax
- Oct 23, 2008
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by FactsAreUseless
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im sorry dave, im afraid i cant do that
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Apr 4, 2017 20:52
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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there's an update but it's incredibly boring. she talked to her weenie bf, who talked to dave and then basically nothing happened and dave still treats the op like garbage.
Jesus loving christ her boyfriend is an rear end in a top hat
"Yeah, your friend is sexually harassing me and I'm pretty afraid he might try to rape me, can you maybe have him not do this poo poo" "Nah, bros before hos"
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Apr 4, 2017 20:54
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- Cough Drop The Beat
- Jan 22, 2012
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by Lowtax
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Some people are really embarassed about sex and masturbation. We've seen so many stories ITT from couples who, ten years into their marriage, totally melt down after suddenly discovering their partner... *gasp* Masturbates!
This reminds me of the post where a woman is aghast that her husband asked for a handjob after she turned him down for sex. She's all like "This isn't the man I married! How could he possibly be like this?!!" It was so hilarious.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:54
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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imo she should let Dave whip it out, then call the police and press charges.
If her boyfriend is ok with Dave I'm putting money on him being an abuser down the line.
tbqh i'd be worried this story is gonna end with "my boyfriend got me blackout drunk and then let his friend rape me"
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Apr 4, 2017 20:56
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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there's an update but it's incredibly boring. she talked to her weenie bf, who talked to dave and then basically nothing happened and dave still treats the op like garbage.
at least the rest of her post history is fun
I really want to gently caress my boss.
quote:[Conflicted] I'm 29/f. My boss is 45-50/m. I've worked for him since February.
I find him fascinating. He is such an interesting person. He was previously quite high up in the military and he has a commanding air about him. He is so good at his job, and I really respect him. I'm not sure if I admire him (he's very good at his job), or if I just really fancy him.
I fantasise all the time about loving him. It's not distracting me from my work, but I wonder if he or my colleagues will pick up on it.
I'm happily in a LTR with a guy for 2 years now. Its my first serious relationship and I think I'm freaking out about the permanency of it all - although I really do love him and am very happy with him.
Someone in my job used to work with him in the military. They say that he is clever and manipulative and will be able to read me and will know exactly what I think of him. This makes me nervous.
I have no intention of acting on my thoughts but I can't get them to go away.
Drunkenly messaged my new boss last night - what should I do?
quote:This will be less exciting than I made it sound in the title, so I apologise in advance. I am 29/f. I have been on my new team for 6 weeks. My new boss is 43/m. Professionally I like him a lot. He is very good at what he does and has been really complimentary about my work so far. I went out with some work people last night. He was invited but did not attend as he has plans. Before I left to go out I added him on Facebook - I'd say about 1/2 the team have him on there so that in itself isn't that unusual. Whilst I was out I messaged a friend on Facebook messenger asking how their evening was. As he was most recently added he was my most recent contact on messenger. I was quite drunk and sent him the message meant for someone else. I then realised what I'd done and said to him : "oh sorry, that wasn't meant for you!" He ignored both messages and didn't respond. I'm worried that he thought I was drunkenly hitting on him or something. He's a bit socially awkward and often doesn't address interpersonal problems in the best way. I'm also aware that several weeks ago there was a misconstrued message between himself and a woman on Facebook, he was in a foul mood for the whole week after that, so I think his wife saw it and it didn't go down very well. What do I do now? Do I say something or never bring it up again? I really like our working relationship and don't want to gently caress it up.
What is 'normal' when it comes to sex with a long term partner?
[removed]
A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 21:01 on Apr 4, 2017
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Apr 4, 2017 20:58
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 15, 2024 23:32
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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at least the rest of her post history is fun
I really want to gently caress my boss.
normally I would never advocate for a 20 year age gap but it can't possibly be unhealthier than her current relationship, lol
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Apr 4, 2017 20:59
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Apr 4, 2017 19:32
Tater Love 
