- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Do cops really sweep your house for bugs? Seems above and beyond what they'd normally do.
The cops are actually really helpful if you let them be in some cases. Just depends.
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Apr 8, 2017 16:37
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 11:23
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- SpaceClown
- Feb 13, 2016
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by FactsAreUseless
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gently caress i missed the page 900 snipe? gently caress and you wasted it with that lame rear end earnest post?
this is gonna be a bad day. I can feel it in my bones.
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Apr 8, 2017 17:18
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- Grem
- Mar 29, 2004
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Can't post for 28 days!
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Another guy who is a spectacular failure from the men's divorce forum. These are always a bit lengthy but worth it.
quote:I am a new poster here. Much to my dismay I discovered this site after my divorce was finalized. My divorce was very long and contentious.
I will post about it later but I have a much more pressing issue. My ex and her attorney have filed five motions with the court against me:
1. Petition for Rule to Show Cause - Violation of No Contact Order
2. Second Petition for Rule to Show Cause -Violation of Custody Judgement
3. Third Petition for Rule to Show Cause - Violation of Custody Judgement
4. Motion to Modify Custody Judgement and Restrict Parenting Time
5. Motion for Re-Appointment of Guardian Ad Litem
The attorney is due in court to respond next Wednesday. They are going to talk to her attorney and see if they can figure out what she wants prior.
They are concerned that I am in violation of an Agreed Order. Without going into too much detail I am not supposed to have any contact with the younger child. It also says I am not to try and communicate with her through the older child.
Whenever I text the older one I always tell her to remind the younger one that I love her and miss her. The attorneys say it doesn't matter that the ex is in violation when she brings the younger one around or texts me a pic of the two girls. Apparently only I can violate the Order. They keep returning to the fact that I signed the Order.
I should have never signed it. My former attorneys told me to sign it because it was early on in the divorce. They kept pushing me to do everything the other side wanted; saying it would show the judge that I am agreeable and willing to compromise. I now wonder if they were in league together.
The younger child will be nine this summer. It has been four years since I have had any meaningful contact with her. Another nine years and she won't have any memories of me.
She and her lawyer say I am hurting the older child by talking to her and trying to force her to act as my agent. The counselor said otherwise. She said I am showing the older child I have not stopped loving the younger one so she need not fear that I may someday stop loving her.
I hope there is a real warm place in Hell for these people.
The thing that kicked all of this happened a month ago. My older daughter told me that her mom wanted D12 for ex's bday. I told her to have the ex call me.
A week later, 30 min prior to pickup, I get a text from D12 stating that she is in Florida and will see me the following week. I proceeded to text her that I did not give mommy permission to take her out of state on my time and that if she was not there at pick up time mommy would be in trouble.
The next few days none of my calls or texts were responded to. Three days later my D12 texted me. I immediately called and it went to voice mail. I texted her that I knew she had the phone in her hand and I wanted her to call me. When she didn't respond I told her if I did not hear from her I was going to assume that her mom and her affair partner did not want her to talk to me. (Affirmed in the positive by her when she came home.)
When they got back from Florida I confronted the ex. I am not supposed to get out of the car but I did. I went to the door and upbraided her for taking her out of state, on my time without my permission and then interfering by not letting me talk to her. She responded with "you can't threaten me, blah, blah, blah". I warned her if she did it again I would take her back to court.
The next day she went to court asking for an Emergency Order of Protection because I'm stalking, harassing, threatening,etc. To the judge's credit she did not grant the order. She appeared in court with her attorney and the judge gave her one week to refile and me two weeks to respond. My attorney told me he was surprised her attorney didn't tell her to let it go since she was in the wrong.
There is a lot more backstory to this but I have to get back to work. I will post more this evening.
Here comes the backstory, it is sad but you'll see soon, if you haven't already, this man deserves no sympathy.
quote:This is going to be long.
The ex and I got married in 2004 when she was pregnant. My eldest daughter is now deceased. She died November 30, 2010. She was medically fragile. They told us she had a 50/50 chance to make it to age two. She made it to six.
My daughter was completely caregiver dependent. She could not walk, talk or speak. But she was a beautiful little girl. Although her body didn't work her mind was fine. She could shake her head yes and no. She make would sing-songy noises. And she could smile.
Twice a year like clockwork she would have to be hospitalized for pneumonia or other respiratory issues. She would be hospitalized for weeks at a time. There is a doctor at the University of Wisconsin Madison who specializes in children who have what she had. I would often spend weeks with her up in Madison.
The ex began having an affair with a coworker. Many of the signs that people talk about on this site were flashing red with klaxon warnings but I ignored them. My wife was different.
Her first marriage ended, she told me, because her ex-husband cheated on here while she was visiting her own mother in the hospital. Her mom died young (50's) and she often commented on how could someone do that to their spouse, i.e., betray them while staying with a loved one in the hospital. So naturally she would not betray me while our daughter was hospitalized, right? (sarc off)
We have two other girls, D12 and D9. After the oldest one passed away she was almost never home. She had begun a business with two coworkers. She was engaged in an affair with the one.
Our sex life was nonexistent and our communications revolved almost exclusively around the girls. Her step brother was getting married in Arizona and we all were going. She and her affair partner went down first and I followed along with the girls. The affair partner was there because of the business that my ex and he started. They were being used for the wedding.
When I saw them together I knew. Every word out of her mouth to me was a directive - D9 needs a diaper change, D12 wants to ride on the ponies. She spent no time with me and the girls. When she was with him she was all smiles and laughter.
I mentioned above how our sex life was non-existent. I had been keeping track on the calendar because it was so infrequent. When I got home I backtracked the calendar. It had been a little over 8 months that the youngest was born. I ordered a DNA test kit online and then sent it in.
I got the results back. 0% chance I was my youngest daughter's father.
I threw up.
I ordered a second one and paid the premium to ensure chain of custody for court and a third to test my other daughter. I contacted the coroner about my older daughter inquiring about having her body exhumed to check. They saved tissue blocks from the autopsy they were able to test it against. D12 and my deceased daughter are mine.
I confronted the ex about everything and she confessed. She successfully turned everything around on me. She didn't feel loved, shitstain was there for her during our daughter's illness and hospitalization. Really? My staying at our daughter's bedside meant nothing?
So I immediately started doing all the blue pill beta < bovine scat > that gets pushed on us. Doing more stuff for her, sending her little notes and emails, doing more around the house. I was going through emails the other night to get ready for court and I am truly disgusted with myself the way I debased myself to her - acting like she was the prize I had to work to keep instead of throwing her out like the slut she truly is.
I didn't do anything this forum suggests. She moved out and I allowed her to take what she wanted. She waited until she was out for two years and then filed. She wanted temporary custody, support, etc. And she got it. She moved out in 2011, filed in 2013 and we didn't finalize until Jan 2015.
During the trial the parentage question of D9 arose. Shitstain came forward and said he was the biological father. So I am not paying CS for D9. But he told the court that I threatened him and D9 and that he was fearful for the two of them and wanted an Emergency Order of Protection.
They proferred a deal: Shitstain withdrew the Order for Protection without Prejudice if I signed the agreed order. The attorneys pushed me into signing it. The other side said if I signed, surrendered my firearms, saw a counselor for anger management that they would let me see D9. Attorney's were also worried about the effects of Order for Protection against me would do to me for my job.
So I caved and signed. And regret it everyday.
After that they pressed the attack. Her attorney dragged things out intentionally to try to bankrupt me. I paid $140,000 in legal fees to my attorneys and got an incredibly < feces-like > deal. She got:
-sole custody
-final decision making
-kids to go to school by her
-keep her retirement accounts
-keep the business
etc.
Her attorney wrote the SA. I saw it on a Friday and made a bunch of changes that I instructed my attorneys to make. The biggest came from my brother in law. He does a lot of M&A work. He told me that they should make sure to include a clause that stipulated that she and her attorney affirmed and avowed all info is correct and true. If it comes to light later that anything was withheld, deliberately obvuscated, etc the whole SA is null and void. My attorney didn't put it in. His reason? Her attorney won't agree to it! That was their answer to everything. The other side won't agree to it.
The morning of the trial I told my attorney to offer the ex $100K from my retirement accounts and call it a day. He called and her attorney said no. I asked if her attorney asked the ex and he said no he just said no out of hand. I texted the ex and asked her if she was aware an offer was made. No response.
We get to court and her attorney says he wants $200K. I screamed < edited > You at him and was ready to grab him by the lapels and hurl him off the second floor balcony. Then I found out my attorneys didn't make a single one of the changes I instructed them to make. My attorney inquired how he came up with that figure. His response? I haven't been paid yet. Fcuking Shylock!
I told them "Then I guess we are going to trial." My attorney said to me, "If you don't sign the SA you can find yourself new counsel." Right outside the < edited > doors.
I paid these guys $100 grand and owed them another 30. They knew if we went to trial it would rack up another 20-30K. They didn't want to have to chase me for the money so they hung me out to dry.
During this time I was doing everything I was told to do like a good little sheep to the slaughter.
They told me I wasn't going to get 50/50 but I wouldn't lose any time. The status quo had been two days a week with me and every other weekend. The GAL who was an incompetent buffoon said he was recommending to the judge that I get every Thursday and every other weekend.
So here I am. My oldest is dead. I am not allowed to see the youngest who I raised for over 4 years and now they are threatening to to take away D12.
The SA is unfair and unjust in her favor. Cry me a river, I know. But the Order should never have been entered. At the time the judge did not know all of the players in the case. And if it had been an Order of Protection it would be expired by now. In Illinois a Plenary Order of Protection lasts two years and does not automatically renew.
My problem is that they have proof that I have repeatedly violated the order. My argument is that the Order never should have been entered as they know I am not a threat to D9 and the ex herself has engaged me with her. My current attorneys say that doesn't matter because I signed it.
I told them that since she is not the Petitioner for the Order she doesn't have standing to bring the Motions. He has recourse. The original order was waived without prejudice. Let him get the order or try. I don't know if the judge would grant it since I haven't spent any appreciable time with D9 in four years and the few instances I have seen her the ex (and even shitstain himself!) have been there on a few occasions.
Up above Lionel asked me what my question for this board is. My question is this: how can I get the agreed upon order vacated. I don't care if it generates an OP because I never see D9 anyway and I can wait out two years. I can't nine.
Any help or suggestions are deeply appreciated.
You know what? This one is just too hosed. The mom is a piece of poo poo too. Basically they will gently caress up their children's lives.
quote:Yes, she is being raised by her biological parents. But the court recognized the bond of affection and love that she and I share.
The therapist that I took D12 to see said that you would be very hard pressed to find a counselor or therapist that would recommend that D9 (D5 at the time) and I be completely separated. Especially since she knows that the older sister is still coming with me. She felt it was sure to cause issues of abandonment with her and could raise issues with D12 that the same may happen to her someday.
She escaped once when I went to pick D12 up. She came out the front door like a rifle shot. I got out of the car and she launched herself at me. She wrapped her arms and legs around me and started crying that she wanted to come with me and her sister. I'm tearing up as I type this remembering the incident.
This hurts D12 too. I have told that to the ex but it falls on deaf ears. Or she tries to say that I am the one hurting D12 by saying I love D9. She says a lot of stupid < feces >.
The best line out of her mouth when we were in the thick of the divorce..."You're just mad because your life is being destroyed."
I looked at her incredulously and said "did you hear what the hell you just said?!?"
No way in hell this dude was honest with his therapist. Also his demands are silly, he has no understanding how the legal system works.
quote:
The argument I want the attorney to make to the court is as follows:
1. When the order was originally presented to the judge she did not know the participants and the backstory in its entirety.
2. Their attorneys each talked about how they wanted me to continue a relationship with D9 but they felt unsafe for her because of my "anger issues".
3. If I signed the order, surrenedered my firearms and went to anger managaement I would be allowed to see D9.
4. My attorney pushed me to sign it because he was afraid what an OFP could do to me professionally.
5. They have frequently violated the Order by bringing D9 around to places they knew I would be and ex sending me class pictures, text pics of the girls, etc. I have photo and video footage with them in the frames and sometimes with them on audio.
6. She has no standing to bring the motion as she is not the petitioner.
7. He can ask for the Order of Protection to be put in place but under what grounds? There are no exigent circumstances. I hardly think my telling D12 to remind D9 that I love and miss her rises to the occasion for an Order of Protection to be issued.
I went to see the anger management guy that they recommended. He was a pretty nice guy. After a few sessions he told me I don't have anger management issues I have legitimate anger issues about what had been done to me and what was being done to me.
He had a sit down with the ex and her affair partner and then just with shitstain. Shitstain told him that he knew I was not a threat to D9! The doctor agreed to testify to this at the trial.
I told him I thought they were making me jump through all of these hoops and were going to deny me access to D9 anyway. The doctor agreed and that is exactly what they have done.
I lived up to my end of the deal they did not.
I will not be victimized by them or the Cook County Family Court system any longer.
Immediately after this you get this great insight into his priorities.
quote:Unbelievable!
The ex just texted me that my former in laws will be in town this weekend and do I want to switch? I can have Easter Sunday with D12. She is sure that my mom (grammy) will be excited to see D12 on that day. She is such a wonderful compassionate person always thinking about ways to make other people happy! sarc off
There's more but you get the jist.
Most of the advice he's been given is this:
quote:Leave the kid alone. She's not yours. She lives with her parents.
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Apr 8, 2017 17:28
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- Panfilo
- Aug 27, 2011
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Can't post for 12 days!
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How the hell didn't he get half the business she had established when they were married? Some Florida law weirdness?
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Apr 8, 2017 17:44
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- Grem
- Mar 29, 2004
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Can't post for 28 days!
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It sounds like he's an rear end in a top hat. rear end holes lose in court.
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Apr 8, 2017 17:47
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- Grem
- Mar 29, 2004
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Can't post for 28 days!
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Smart assholes and dumb assholes also tend to fair differently.
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Apr 8, 2017 18:47
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- 54 40 or fuck
- Jan 4, 2012
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No Yanda's allowed
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You know, to be fair to both of those tremendous assholes, the death of a child probably does that to you
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Apr 8, 2017 19:00
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- BOOTY-ADE
- Aug 30, 2006
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BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT
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I thought thread consensus was probably pinodeal cyst that makes it look like he has two buttholes and he's afear'd
What if he not only has 2 buttoles, but 2 butt cracks and 3 cheeks? Like Total Recall anus
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Apr 8, 2017 19:32
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- gentle pete
- Feb 21, 2015
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by Nyc_Tattoo
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My [18M] girlfriend of 3 months [18F] wants to try heroin?
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Apr 8, 2017 19:38
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Me [30F] with my boyfriend[32 M] 5 mo, utterly obliterated our relationship tonight
quote:
(Throwaway because he knows I'm on reddit and I don't want to escalate it.) I need to rant and breathe. This is going to be long. Grab booze or popcorn.
Met boyfriend about 6 months ago. Assumed he was wildly in the closet on our first meeting. He can come off as feminine and was a devout evangelical Christian- not things that are smoking guns, but with a few of his mannerisms, (he "earmuffed himself" when I said "drat," and legit meant it.)
I quickly friend-zoned him and met up with him after for coffee/movies, etc. (He never made a move which further solidified my guess that he was gay or we were going to be forever friends.)
About a month later, he shared that he was falling for me. I was astounded- I really assumed he was gay. He was a great friend- always called to check in, said things like, "I'm adorable!" (referring to himself) and let it slip that he was a virgin. (At 32.)
He asked if I'd consider a date with him and I asked some pretty difficult questions. He's heard he's come off as "feminine" and shared that it's just the way he spoke. I felt... horrible for assuming. We had a great date. He was like a different guy.
First few months dating were hard. He's very, very, religious and I am not. We had difficult conversations about me not wanting to feel pressured into believing deeper and him praying after every call. I realized- I cared about him, so I willingly accepted this.
He brought flowers almost everytime he came to see me, he was kind and courteous- but something nagged at me. It just didn't seem... real?
We were intimate a few months in. He said he was "so glad it was me." (Note, I wasn't a virgin, nor do I have any complexes about sex. I wanted to respect where he was coming from- so I never pressured. It was fine.)
It didn't SEEM like he was a virgin, though. What do I mean? The guy could go for like... an hour. It was only after our first time, (at a hotel,) that I spent an overnight in his house. (He had an ENTIRE DRAWER of hairbands, lube and sex toys.) I asked about it- and he said, "I used these on girls instead of having sex." It started deteriorating.
Something was nagging at me. When he left his computer open, for the first time in my history... I dug. (That's the sign, isn't it? When you can't trust someone you run.)
Well, I dug enough to find that he had been cheating on me in the beginning of our relationship. With ... several other people. He, (of course) claimed that while he was telling me, "I'm falling for you," he was "just looking" because, "it didn't seem like I was all-in." To me, that seemed like the worst, excuse, ever. (I called him on it.) His response was, "You're right. I was out of line."
We stopped talking daily. I stopped inviting him over. It died a pretty slow, (aka: stupid) and painful death. I didn't know how to wrap my mind around it all.
Tonight an ex of his contacted me after seeing me tagged in one of his Facebook posts. Turns out-- he told her she was his first too. (Awww.) I thanked her for telling me and deleted the conversation.
Now, I can't do ANYTHING to get back at him. (Nothing. Nada.) Nor would I.
But drat if I don't want to.
I'd love to take the Bible he gave me and beat him with it.
Where do I go from here? (Obviously I just keep walking. I'm just furious.)
tl;dr: My evangelical Christian boyfriend lied through our entire relationship. About everything.
OMG, I'm such a shy virgin at 32. Oh this, this is my membership card to Uncle Slappy's Dildo and Lube Emporium.
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Apr 8, 2017 19:42
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- goethe.cx
- Apr 23, 2014
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What if he not only has 2 buttoles, but 2 butt cracks and 3 cheeks? Like Total Recall anus
and now for something completely different...
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Apr 8, 2017 19:55
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- Improbable Lobster
- Jan 6, 2012
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"From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.
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Buglord
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Maybe he has long hair and only one drawer
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Apr 8, 2017 20:05
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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My [18M] girlfriend of 3 months [18F] wants to try heroin?
Way to bury the lede, [18m sentient brick of pure China white]!
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Apr 8, 2017 20:10
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- Turtlicious
- Sep 17, 2012
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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personally, I've always hosed the little car.
but not between 2014-2016 right? RIGHT?! I'LL KILL YOU
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Apr 8, 2017 20:12
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- boner confessor
- Apr 25, 2013
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by R. Guyovich
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My first thought is that people with long hair tend to lose/forget their hairbands when they sleep over. Doesn't really make a lot of sense in a sex toy drawer unless they were kept as trophies or something. Actually thinking about it, the evangelical serial-cheating liar having a collection of sex prizes doesn't seem too far off.
probably also super cheap cock rings
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Apr 8, 2017 20:39
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- goethe.cx
- Apr 23, 2014
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lol
quote:
My wife [30F] of 2 years and I [30M] can't agree on our child's name. What should I do?
My son is due in 10 days.
When we started looking at names, there were a few early contenders, names like Cale, Miles, Brooks, Bennet, etc. Pnurtis was mentioned early, but it was initially thrown out because I really didn't care for it much. She knows this–she's always known this. She seems to like the name because "....it's unique and it sounds hot". In my opinion, terrible, superficial reasons. I asked her to compromise and for awhile it looked like it was going to be either Brennan (my choice and what I thought was a great compromise) or Cale.
Fast forward to now and she is again insistent we name our son Pnurtis, her reasons being that she is carrying the child and the final say goes to her. Total BS. I don't know what to do and am at a loss. I really don't want to fight anymore over this, but I'm finding it so hard to give in and name what could be our only kid a name that I just do not like at all.
I really shouldn't be sounding off here, but I really need advice. Help me.
TLDR: Our son is due in 10 days and my wife is insists we name our son Pnurtis despite me hating the name. She will not compromise.
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Apr 8, 2017 20:49
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- boner confessor
- Apr 25, 2013
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by R. Guyovich
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this is why most people use middle names. my wife and i were both settled on a name for our daughter, but we wanted different names. i convinced her that mypick herpick lastname flowed off the tongue better than herpick mypick lastname but we were prepared to settle it with rock paper scissors if necessary
just give your kid a cool middle name and they'll go by that, and desperately keep their terrible first name a secret. Pnurtis?
also my father once told me, and i dont think he was kidding, there was a very good chance i could have been named Otto Merlin Lastname but my mom utterly vetoed it and threatened to lock my dad out of the house until he conceded
e: you know how sometimes you have a sudden urge to do some great mischeif? like, carrying a brand new computer up some stairs and you're like "what if i just threw this sucker over the ledge?" or talking to your boss and you're like "what if i just punched him in the nose, right now?" there was a brief moment when my daughter was born, my wife was heavily sedated, and i was tucked away in a corner of the maternity ward with my brand new, identityless infant, a bunch of legal paperwork, and nobody supervising me. i flashed back to all of the times in a video game character creation when i named someone "Turdnugget" or whatever and i was for a moment just floored by the level of responsibility and consequences the state had decided to bestow upon me
boner confessor fucked around with this message at 21:08 on Apr 8, 2017
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Apr 8, 2017 21:00
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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How do you even pronounce that? Is the P silent or does it become a were F-n sound or what
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Apr 8, 2017 21:01
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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It's all true.
I can't watch The Exorcist in the same way now.
Apparently I creeped everyone out at my 21st bday party by laughing hysterically at the "let Jesus gently caress you," part. Buncha squares.
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Apr 8, 2017 21:01
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- boner confessor
- Apr 25, 2013
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by R. Guyovich
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is Pnurtis pronounced "Nerdist"? i know it's cool to be a nerd nowadays but god drat that name is a middle school death sentence. call child services
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Apr 8, 2017 21:02
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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What are the reddit comments on that one? I feel like if there are enough people collectively rolling their eyes it might be one of the few occasions where the OP can just show the thread to their spouse.
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Apr 8, 2017 21:04
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 11:23
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- boner confessor
- Apr 25, 2013
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by R. Guyovich
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I just know Pnurtis is going to grow up to be the type that gives his name without spelling it, then acts all put-out when people ask him to.
he's going to pick some really boring nickname like "Steve" and get very insistent people call him that
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Apr 8, 2017 21:09
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Apr 8, 2017 16:37
before she destroys herself and leaves a void in your heart my dude
