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Why not just go wendigo? Sounds like a blast
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Apr 8, 2017 20:10
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naem posted:Why not just go wendigo? Sounds like a blast There's a difference from doing something because you want to do it and doing it because you have to do it.
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Apr 9, 2017 00:26
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I may or may have not turned my arch-nemesis inside out. I had intended to give them gastrointestinal distress, but I must have done something wrong as his intestines and other internal organs are now sitting on the outside. They do appear to be in quite a bit of excruciating pain and the sounds they are making are as ungodly as you can imagine. This is super awkward for me as I was only tormenting them because I secretly have the hots for them and wanted to make them into my sex slave and even if I fix this it's all just going to be weird from now on.
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Apr 9, 2017 00:39
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Tin Can Hit Man posted:I may or may have not turned my arch-nemesis inside out. I had intended to give them gastrointestinal distress, but I must have done something wrong as his intestines and other internal organs are now sitting on the outside. They do appear to be in quite a bit of excruciating pain and the sounds they are making are as ungodly as you can imagine. This is super awkward for me as I was only tormenting them because I secretly have the hots for them and wanted to make them into my sex slave and even if I fix this it's all just going to be weird from now on. If you really like someone you have to get to know them, inside and out. Here's your chance to really get closer to your rival! Don't waste the opportunity with a hasty counterspell and really, we've all been inside out before and if you haven't figured out how to revert to your base form before getting a rival then maybe it's time to find a stronger rival.
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Apr 9, 2017 01:08
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Arkanomen posted:If you really like someone you have to get to know them, inside and out. Here's your chance to really get closer to your rival! Don't waste the opportunity with a hasty counterspell and really, we've all been inside out before and if you haven't figured out how to revert to your base form before getting a rival then maybe it's time to find a stronger rival. But they smell like poo gas on the inside!
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Apr 9, 2017 01:17
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Tin Can Hit Man posted:But they smell like poo gas on the inside! Beauty is only skin deep, what did you expect.
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Apr 9, 2017 01:27
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Arkanomen posted:Beauty is only skin deep, what did you expect. In all honesty? Tentacles.
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Apr 9, 2017 02:16
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Tin Can Hit Man posted:In all honesty? Tentacles. Ah gotcha. I know a guy. Bring 20 gold and a lock of banshee hair to the ring of stones west of the wailing mire. Ask for the Tako special.
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Apr 9, 2017 02:21
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Arkanomen posted:Ah gotcha. I know a guy. Bring 20 gold and a lock of banshee hair to the ring of stones west of the wailing mire. Ask for the Tako special. Can I add mouths where the suction cups should be? Asking for a friend.
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Apr 9, 2017 02:24
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Tin Can Hit Man posted:Can I add mouths where the suction cups should be? Asking for a friend. Ew, no what the gently caress yeah
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Apr 9, 2017 02:25
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Arkanomen posted:Ew, no what the gently caress Haha! I know right?! They're such a weirdo! I'll be there at midnight
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Apr 9, 2017 02:26
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Skypie posted:In my experience, if it ain't bright upstairs, it ain't gonna light up the driveway. You're probably better off just turning him into a bog standard misshapen, shambling corpse and aim him in the general direction of the town. Hmmmm. That could work. I've always been more of a talmudic "letter of the law, not spirit of the law" kinda guy. (if all the golems didn't tip you off). I would just have to make sure my "borrowed" body has enough magical potential for the ritual to work. What are some good ways to temporary transfer/store my power? Also to those suggesting I go full Wendigo. I had a buddy do that a while back. He told me he was doing for the immortality and power, but it turned out he was just a huge furry. Hey no judgments, I'm friends with some changelings it's just not something I'm into.
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Apr 9, 2017 04:36
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So I've decided to branch out into mad science as well as evil wizarding, and the results have been fantastic! I just finished my giant cybernetic battle-golem made from enchanted titanium plates with demon-infused motivators units fueled by a custom-designed necrotomic power plant. It's armed with hellfire missiles -- literal hellfire, mind you, the cool neon green stuff -- and baleflame plasma cannon using the souls of war orphans as ammunition. I am super-excited about this, and now I realized why the Dark Ancients forbade the mixture of magic and technology -- they were afraid we would surpass them. And you know what? They were absolutely right. You should have seen their faces when my prototype battle-golem rocket-punched their dread cathedral into splinters.
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Apr 9, 2017 10:20
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Ever notice that even in undeath people still have daddy issues?
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Apr 9, 2017 17:31
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What's the mileage like on that thing? Your average golem needs a big power boost at the start and then they are usually self sufficient. Your science magic monstrosity (I mean that in the best way) sounds like a real energy hog.
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Apr 9, 2017 17:38
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That's a good point. The (re)animated are merely inhabited by spirits. It's seems that mech/magic constructs are fueled by them.
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Apr 9, 2017 17:56
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If you keep consuming souls without any conservation the abyssal plane is gonna get pissed off from you keeping souls for them to exploit/recruit/torture. And that's not an enemy you want.
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Apr 9, 2017 18:09
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Unless your end goal is to become a demonic abyssal ruler yourself.
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Apr 9, 2017 18:47
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Mixing science and magic can be extremely effective. Magic gets jealous, is the thing. It won't let you be a master of magic and science, and will start to passive-aggressively make higher level spells harder and harder to pull off. This usually doesn't matter; the flexibility of technology typically makes up the difference, and it's as easy as temporarily forgetting how electricity works to get back on magic's good side. But absolutely do not allow a rival wizard or scientist to catch you in an anti-magic or -technology field. Any magi-tech stuff you've brought into the field will at best be nonfunctional and you may not have the power to take your rival on anymore. Also, watch for heroic hackers, engineers, and other kinds of modern nerd. If your technology has any kind of structural or security weakness, these kids will find it, and it will ruin your plans at the worst possible moment. Use proper passwords, protect mechanical joints, etc. Finally, look into cyber-liching. Did you know that 15% of modern memes are phylacteries?
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Apr 9, 2017 18:47
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Just a quick update; my giant cybernetic battle-golem was just destroyed by a cybernetic ninja. I spent billions on the tech necessary to make this happen and this rear end in a top hat just screams "WE'RE DONE HERE" and rips out its heart, which he absorbed like the rear end in a top hat he is. gently caress me, I'm depressed. Regular magic is so much cheaper, even with the cost of grinding precious stones into spell components. And the using of war orphans as a power source was such a good idea -- it's renewable energy!
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Apr 10, 2017 09:07
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So I decided to fix my problem by turning my former arch-nemesis turned inside-out abomination into a flesh golem. I have issued but one command: to end my life at all costs! It'll be just like old times again!
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Apr 10, 2017 13:49
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Arkanomen posted:Ah gotcha. I know a guy. Bring 20 gold and a lock of banshee hair to the ring of stones west of the wailing mire. Ask for the Tako special. do not do this, this guy is tricking you, he is going to take your 20g and lock of banshee hair and leave you high and dry. he told me he would get me a bag of "the best Outworld reagents" and all i got was crumbled kobold oats. ffs.
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Apr 10, 2017 14:40
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Apr 12, 2017 16:46
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nomadologique posted:do not do this, this guy is tricking you, he is going to take your 20g and lock of banshee hair and leave you high and dry. he told me he would get me a bag of "the best Outworld reagents" and all i got was crumbled kobold oats. ffs. you still need crumbled kobold oats for advanced alchemy, though. apparently you can mix Koats with vanilla extract to potentially get platinum out of your transmutations. anyway, I've been working on a new spell these last few days. hopefully it comes together over the cauldron!
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Apr 12, 2017 17:01
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unpleasantly turgid posted:you still need crumbled kobold oats for advanced alchemy, though. apparently you can mix Koats with vanilla extract to potentially get platinum out of your transmutations. "Cauldron", Get out of here witch. This is a safe space for Wizards Weaving Their Own Way. We enlightened wizards have recognized that witches and their vapid need for the material plane are just holding good wizards back. Why should I waste my precious mana on some painted up hedge-crone succubus who will leave me for a warlock when the moment seizes them when I can summon literal succubi that will honor our infernal contract to the letter, no questions asked. Witches are everything that is wrong with magic society. Rhyming ingredient lists for potions, exposing their legs while riding a phallic symbol, cackling in public spaces, associating with satyrs. If you lot want to go back to the old days that's fine, we will to. Days where witches were respectable and understood their place in the harem-thrall of proud wizards.
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Apr 12, 2017 17:14
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Arkanomen posted:"Cauldron", Get out of here witch. This is a safe space for Wizards Weaving Their Own Way. Arkanomen posted:Why should I waste my precious mana on some painted up hedge-crone succubus who will leave me for a warlock when the moment seizes them when I can summon literal succubi that will honor our infernal contract to the letter, no questions asked. Arkanomen posted:Witches are everything that is wrong with magic society. Rhyming ingredient lists for potions, exposing their legs while riding a phallic symbol, cackling in public spaces... Arkanomen posted:associating with satyrs. Arkanomen posted:Days where witches were respectable and understood their place in the harem-thrall of proud wizards.
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Apr 12, 2017 17:34
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unpleasantly turgid posted:wizards can use cauldrons too, oval office. Witches wouldn't need feminism if the (((Djinni))) didn't fill their heads with nonsense about "equality" and "Runic Rights". The wizard of accord of 654 very clearly laid out roles for magical users and rules for a harmonious society. A witch or warlock or (ugh) Xirlock cant be greater than a wizard. They don't have the spell power for it, it's just a magictruth. ps. only limp-staffed wizards use the cuck-cauldron. A real wizard wills the potions into existence with his strength of mind.
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Apr 12, 2017 17:40
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Anyone else ever feel that they are an evil witch trapped in the body of an evil wizard?
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Apr 12, 2017 18:06
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Some of my best friends are witches. One time I carried a skeletal scribe to a witch's house.
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Apr 12, 2017 18:09
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Power_of_the_glory posted:Anyone else ever feel that they are an evil witch trapped in the body of an evil wizard? They have potions for that now. Gender is meaningless in the face of the most basic of transmutation magics, but it still takes time lose the old habits. Cackling instead of bellowing, hexing instead of banishing. Magic is all about finding your true self, so you'll make it if you really want to. Good luck!
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Apr 12, 2017 18:12
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Not all spellcasters that are women are witches. There are plenty of sorceresses, shamanesses, etc.
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Apr 12, 2017 18:14
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Who What Now posted:Some of my best friends are witches. One time I carried a skeletal scribe to a witch's house. Did she at least reward you with a nice spell, maybe a ride on her broom?
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Apr 12, 2017 18:14
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Arkanomen posted:They have potions for that now. Gender is meaningless in the face of the most basic of transmutation magics, but it still takes time lose the old habits. Cackling instead of bellowing, hexing instead of banishing. Magic is all about finding your true self, so you'll make it if you really want to. Good luck! I have tried that, but everytime I try to fornicate with a devil to form the pact to officially become an evil witch, I am rejected. Devils are surprisingly transphobic. Anyone else impressed how well David Bowie is maintaing his body after becoming lich? Dead for a year and still not a single bone showing.
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Apr 12, 2017 18:23
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uch okay so I've had this Paladin of Clorfaen Goodwyn after me for, idk, 300, 400 years- standard human, but his fake god metaphor lets him tap into the weave and be functionally immortal nbd every decade or so he'd round up a new group of saps and they'd all become skeleton trampolines in a dungeon, but last year I decided to try turning him to darkness, see if I couldn't snap up a dece soul and an apprentice to boot well it worked, and now turns out he's REALLY into it, like its gross. Diaphanous black shredded robes, writing my name on his chest in scar tissue, eyeliner, he uses the word 'doth' a lot, all the other wizards are laughing at me and I can't get even lesser devils to hang out without mercilessly roasting me I'd send him on a suicide mission, but you know how the power of narrative works, I'd bet my collectors edition Iron Maiden iron maiden that a Quest for Redeption triggers and dude comes back with actual power. Or, worse, he goes all Evil Vengeance on me and perpetuates the sterotype that Evil can't get anything done because of all the infighting can I kick this centuries-old former avatar of the god of mercy out of acting like a fifty year old elf all the loving time? or am I stuck for the next hundred years with waking up to someone poorly trying to Ghost Sound the entire works of Avenged Sevenfold?
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Apr 12, 2017 18:41
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Power_of_the_glory posted:I have tried that, but everytime I try to fornicate with a devil to form the pact to officially become an evil witch, I am rejected. Devils are surprisingly transphobic. except for those cheekbones, my oh my
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Apr 12, 2017 18:42
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Peanut Butler posted:uch okay so That's an easy problem to fix if you're stuck in the narrative. Just march him back to the nearest temple to his old god, preferably with a good looking cleric girl, and watch as your big standard redemption arc kicks in. He'll be back to trying to smite your landscaping in no time.
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Apr 12, 2017 18:47
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Whoa, this thread suddenly went all red potion.
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Apr 12, 2017 23:56
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insecure wizards of all things. shameful evil wizards.
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Apr 12, 2017 23:57
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Screaming Idiot posted:So I've decided to branch out into mad science as well as evil wizarding, and the results have been fantastic! I just finished my giant cybernetic battle-golem made from enchanted titanium plates with demon-infused motivators units fueled by a custom-designed necrotomic power plant. It's armed with hellfire missiles -- literal hellfire, mind you, the cool neon green stuff -- and baleflame plasma cannon using the souls of war orphans as ammunition. Pics or it didn't happen. aegof posted:Mixing science and magic can be extremely effective. Magic gets jealous, is the thing. It won't let you be a master of magic and science, and will start to passive-aggressively make higher level spells harder and harder to pull off. This usually doesn't matter; the flexibility of technology typically makes up the difference, and it's as easy as temporarily forgetting how electricity works to get back on magic's good side. But absolutely do not allow a rival wizard or scientist to catch you in an anti-magic or -technology field. Any magi-tech stuff you've brought into the field will at best be nonfunctional and you may not have the power to take your rival on anymore. I'm gonna have to look into all of this, although I'm not sure I left enough people alive on my last push towards immortal dragon emperor for them to invent the Internet on my plane. I could "let" them discover it, I suppose. Power_of_the_glory posted:Anyone else ever feel that they are an evil witch trapped in the body of an evil wizard? There are spells for that. You can resort to fleshcrafting if the body-acceptance mindshaping absolutely will not take hold, but it's a last resort. Power_of_the_glory posted:I have tried that, but everytime I try to fornicate with a devil to form the pact to officially become an evil witch, I am rejected. Devils are surprisingly transphobic. Devils, being masters of Lawful Evil, know the Truth, as they must manipulate it to their monkey paw purposes. They can smell your blood, which has a Y chromosome. You either need to broker a new deal that suits your purposes (you will need a good Devil lawyer on your side,) get a better fleshcrafting spell or a Belt of Gender Swapping, or mind control a Devil before you attempt this. A combination of all three has the best chance of success. And yes, Bowie was a master.
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Apr 13, 2017 01:21
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IS, Bowie IS a master
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Apr 13, 2017 01:39
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