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loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

quote:

Over the course of the past 9 years, my wife and I changed from partners to friends to roommates to strangers.

We talk maybe 10 minutes a day. We haven't had sex in 3 years. We sleep in separate beds. We have no shared interests or hobbies, we just do our own things. We might go to the movies together every few years, or something like that. I think she has a new job but I don't know and don't care to know. She doesn't know my mother died in October.

I would divorce but, whoops, I'm a man and I'd lose half my stuff.

Don't ever get married.

you know you can do a mutual amicable no-fault divorce right

Like, if you have separate lifestyles and jobs etc there's probably a pretty clear dividing line into which is your stuff and which is hers, and if there's no bad blood there's no reason for anyone to take anyone to the cleaners. Get a divorce and be mature about it.

quote:

My work sent me to a conference with some kind of vague notion about representing the company or something. But then they told me that according to policy they wanted me to do weird sex stuff while at the conference. They were all like "take your pants" and "stuff things into your pants" and by "things" I mean shirts. I am totally not into putting shirts into my pants. It's a "me" place in there and the boss doesn't get to randomly order stuff put in there.
Anyway I refused to do it and got written up, and then when I tried to explain it to HR exactly like I've explained it above they wrote me up as well. I think this is political correctness gone too far, we are trying so hard to be acceptable about nontraditional relationships that a conventional dude like me gets told to just stick things in his pants and then gets two write ups when he doesn't want to. I don't care about dudes getting married or like a lady walking guys around on leashes or whatever BUT DON'T MAKE ME PARTICIPATE IN THAT EITHER thank you.

i'm not really sure what this guy is on about but if it's supposed to be he's mad about being told to tuck in his shirt it's not very funny

So here have a weird fetish thing too

quote:

Perhaps five times a year I have a secret ritual.

My girlfriend leaves for the weekend, then I start. I begin by filling a room with balloons of all sizes. From regular to sizes up to 3 feet in diameter. I then do some big tokes and 20 mg amphetamine. I then turn on movies with Beshine, Chelsea Charms, BB Gunns (look them up). I then stuff balloons under my shirt and dance along to these stars in the movies. I film myself while I'm acting the Big Tittied Slut. I also arrange the balloons to resemble a huge breasted pregnant woman. This is the Earth Mother. This is continually filmed to make homme movies to watch later.

It feels so hosed up to write, but soo right at the moment.

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Quote-Unquote
Oct 22, 2002



re: stupid prepper person
I met this weird prepper idiot that spends literally all of his disposable income on gold jewellery (after making his bunker which consists of a victorian era house, which he rents, that happened to have a basement which he claims to have made radiation proof although because he's renting he isn't allowed to even paint the place nevermind line it with lead or something) because gold is going to be more valuable than food, water or shelter when the global fiance system collapses.

I tried to say that even if the apocalypse was upon us that investing in canned/long-term storage food and water storage and filtration made more sense than gold (also weapons, but hey we're British so there aren't many guns) but he told me I was an idiot and that gold would be the only currency that mattered and he would just buy guns with it and all the food he needed.

Hedrigall
Mar 27, 2008

by vyelkin
If it was the post apocalypse and I HAD guns and NEEDED gold I would just shoot that fool and take his gold

Quote-Unquote
Oct 22, 2002



sure; you know that, and I know that

but if libertarians were capable of logic or reason then libertarianism wouldn't exist

Gynovore
Jun 17, 2009

Forget your RoboCoX or your StickyCoX or your EvilCoX, MY CoX has Blinking Bewbs!

WHY IS THIS GAME DEAD?!

Quote-Unquote posted:

sure; you know that, and I know that

but if libertarians were capable of logic or reason then libertarianism wouldn't exist

I'm reluctant to dip my toes into the pool of crazy, but I need to point out that only a tiny percentage of libertarians are preppers. Most have IQs above room temperature.

The Bible
May 8, 2010

Gynovore posted:

I'm reluctant to dip my toes into the pool of crazy, but I need to point out that only a tiny percentage of libertarians are preppers. Most have IQs above room temperature.

That is far from the only flaw in libertarian thinking.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Quote-Unquote posted:

re: stupid prepper person
I met this weird prepper idiot that spends literally all of his disposable income on gold jewellery (after making his bunker which consists of a victorian era house, which he rents, that happened to have a basement which he claims to have made radiation proof although because he's renting he isn't allowed to even paint the place nevermind line it with lead or something) because gold is going to be more valuable than food, water or shelter when the global fiance system collapses.

I tried to say that even if the apocalypse was upon us that investing in canned/long-term storage food and water storage and filtration made more sense than gold (also weapons, but hey we're British so there aren't many guns) but he told me I was an idiot and that gold would be the only currency that mattered and he would just buy guns with it and all the food he needed.

He should be buying tons of clear alcohol. That will be worth more than gold a few years after the apocalypse. Can you imagine how many shotgun shells a fifth of actual Stoli would go for? Hundreds.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Gynovore posted:

I'm reluctant to dip my toes into the pool of crazy, but I need to point out that only a tiny percentage of libertarians are preppers. Most have IQs above room temperature.

lol let me tell you about the fun folks over at Bitcoin!

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I have a smaller than average dick. It's a little over 4 inches on a good day, and 4.25 inches around. This hasn't stopped me from dating or going after women, as I've been living with my current girlfriend for about 3 months. She hasn't complained about my dick or anything, but we have used a pretty big dildo in the bedroom (this in itself doesn't bother me, she likes being filled up and who doesn't like different sensations from time to time?). The problem is how often she wants to use it now. We used to use it once every few weeks, but now she wants me to use it on her basically every other time we have sex. This obviously makes me feel inadequate and like I can't actually please her. It makes me feel like she just lets me have sex with her from time to time to keep me happy and doesn't actually enjoy the experience. My main concern is that she's just going to find a guy with a big dick and leave me so she can have the sex the clearly wants all the time. Has anyone else gone through something like this? Sex is obviously pretty important to me and I don't know if I can stay with someone who doesn't enjoy it with me, despite how much I care for her as a person.

talk to your girlfriend

talk to her

quote:

After six months of therapy, I have been learning about and understanding why I am the way I am. I guess I really do have some deep psychological problems. Oh well.

That one was short on details so here's another

quote:

I was watching one of the RealityKings orgy/sex party videos and it got me thinking. Where do they film these videos? Are all of the people loving professional porn actors? Because there are a yuuuuuuge amount of people loving at once and I find it hard to believe they can round up that many professionals at once. I want to know if they ever invite people off the street to partake in the loving. Because I want to get in on that action. Its a liability nightmare obv, but I would get so much pussy. But they are probably all professionals, somehow.

I want to believe

probably some of them are strippers, or club skanks they offered $200 to or something

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?

Gynovore posted:

I'm reluctant to dip my toes into the pool of crazy, but I need to point out that only a tiny percentage of libertarians are preppers. Most have IQs above room temperature.

Libertarianism is a religion. It is completely irrational and faith-based. Some smart people fall into it, but most of them outgrow it when they realize it is incompatible with living in a decent society.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

loquacius posted:



probably some of them are strippers, or club skanks they offered $200 to or something

I work on the team that prepares videos like these for tv, and every single person who appears on screen, at least involved in a sexual act, has both applied and been chosen, with the proper steps taken to ensure that they are both of age and consenting. The amount they are paid is also documented.

A lot of the time, this is all captured on footage, which I help edit out from the final cut if it's not already done by the editing team, or I need to work with the raw footage for a re-edit.

Don't know why you put your ponderings behind an anonymous confession but there you go. I literally work for Reality Kings / Brazzers / Digital Playground / etc (the Brazzers network).

Nocheez
Sep 5, 2000

Can you spare a little cheddar?
Nap Ghost

The Management posted:

Libertarianism is a religion. It is completely irrational and faith-based. Some smart people fall into it, but most of them outgrow it when they realize it is incompatible with living in a decent society.

Libertarianism relies on the concept of "rational actors" and I think these anonymous confessions are enough to prove that they don't exist.


re: stupid prepper person
"Hi, I have gold and want to buy some of your guns."
"Hi, I have guns and want your gold."
BANG!
"Now you're dead and I have your gold."
fin

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER
Wait, Reality Kings is owned by Brazzers? I thought they were competing companies.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

VanSandman posted:

Wait, Reality Kings is owned by Brazzers? I thought they were competing companies.

Bought last year or 2015

Edit: I should really do an A/T, but wouldn't want to get in trouble with work. :ohdear:

Rupert Buttermilk fucked around with this message at 14:50 on Apr 10, 2017

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013

by R. Guyovich
Can you explain how the gently caress a business whose.product is available to everyone for free stays afloat

If there are any Hollywood execs reading this that question goes out to you too

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

KomodoWagon posted:

Can you explain how the gently caress a business whose.product is available to everyone for free stays afloat

If there are any Hollywood execs reading this that question goes out to you too

have you ever heard of this thing called "advertising"

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

bradzilla posted:

have you ever heard of this thing called "advertising"

You got it. For the paid stuff, it's higher quality, and you'd be surprised how many horny people out there either don't know a better way to get that, OR thry just prefer the convenience and constant content coming (heh) from our network. Also, we have affordable plans that get you access to literally all if our sites. I have to say, even though I have a free login, it's such a higher quality than user uploaded stuff. It's like gourmet porn, where Pornhub (also owned by us :haw:) is McDonalds.

Also, cable companies the world over come to us for thousands of videos each year to either air late at night or be available on ppv/on-demand for subscribers.

For the free stuff, we also own Traffic Junky, which has virtually no overhead. My wife actually works on that team, loves it.

Rupert Buttermilk fucked around with this message at 15:08 on Apr 10, 2017

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

I work on the team that prepares videos like these for tv, and every single person who appears on screen, at least involved in a sexual act, has both applied and been chosen, with the proper steps taken to ensure that they are both of age and consenting. The amount they are paid is also documented.

This makes a lot of sense from a legal standpoint, and yeah come to think of it I'd bet LA county is full of young attractive people willing to show up in the background of an Internet stroke video no one they know will ever admit to seeing in exchange for a quick payout

Nocheez posted:

Libertarianism relies on the concept of "rational actors" and I think these anonymous confessions are enough to prove that they don't exist.

"Rational actor" is just an extra-pretentious way of saying "everyone will act the way I want them to because they just will." Plenty of irrational things would need to be commonplace for an ancap paradise to survive.

ReidRansom
Oct 25, 2004


Solice Kirsk posted:

He should be buying tons of clear alcohol. That will be worth more than gold a few years after the apocalypse. Can you imagine how many shotgun shells a fifth of actual Stoli would go for? Hundreds.

Far better off with cheap high proof grain alcohol. Utility > quality.

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




Rupert Buttermilk posted:

I work on the team that prepares videos like these for tv, and every single person who appears on screen, at least involved in a sexual act, has both applied and been chosen, with the proper steps taken to ensure that they are both of age and consenting. The amount they are paid is also documented.

A lot of the time, this is all captured on footage, which I help edit out from the final cut if it's not already done by the editing team, or I need to work with the raw footage for a re-edit.

Don't know why you put your ponderings behind an anonymous confession but there you go. I literally work for Reality Kings / Brazzers / Digital Playground / etc (the Brazzers network).

I thought you worked for Pornhub. Or are Pornhub and Brazzers under the same management now?

Where do people apply for that party stuff? RealityKings.com?

Hopper
Dec 28, 2004

BOOING! BOOING!
Grimey Drawer

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

For the free stuff, we also own Traffic Junky, which has virtually no overhead. My wife actually works on that team, loves it.

So, your wife, what's her stage name?... just kidding, but low-hanging fruit and all...

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

My non-anonymous confession is I actually have an account with Brazzers. I've been a member there off and on for years and am only a member now because I was really drunk after the Super Bowl and saw they were offering a year membership for $75. It was one of those "this is such a good deal I can't afford not to buy it." I mainly do it because the quality is high and I'm one of those weird people that believes I should pay for the things I enjoy, otherwise they won't be made anymore. Its the same way with movies, music, TV, or basically any other form of entertainment.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I don't understand why chemical weapons are such a big taboo. Yeah, chemical weapons (and war) really suck, but are they that much worse than bombs and drones and other methods of mass destruction? The line between "good" war and "bad" war seems completely arbitrary to me.

Or I could be a soulless husk of a human

Chemical weapons tend to kill you in horrifying and torturous ways and are frequently used on noncombatants

quote:

My girlfriend of 8 months is convinced I have aspergers and uses that constantly to belittle me and my opinions.

I don't remember when it started but it's kicked in to high gear lately. I do not have autism or aspergers, I'm a normal functioning adult. But if I don't like a movie she'll blame it on aspergers. I didn't enjoy the new Beauty and the Beast and she said, and I quote, "I know it's hard for you people to get emotionally invested. I appreciate you coming and you can pick the next movie, and it can be full of action or whatever makes you feel good." I was so shocked at this.

A friend of mine came over on Sunday and the three of us were hanging out. My girlfriend kept asking him "how long has Steve been on the spectrum" and stuff like that. My friend thought she was joking but Sara kept pushing and pushing and said "I'm not joking. He won't get treatment but I'm really curious when this developed". He ended up leaving early because he was so weirded out.

Sara and I will try having conversations on serious topics but they always fall apart. We were discussing alcoholism and she kept asking if my mom drank when she was pregnant with me. Or we discussed anti-vaccine people and she said I was really tough and brave and smart to not blame vaccines for my condition.

I always get really angry at points like that and she claims it's my autism acting up. We'll usually end up having sex and, truth be told, I forget about it for a while. But it's getting worse and it's getting annoying.

Sara has also started spending Sunday nights at my house. On Monday morning I'll wake up and find she made a lunch for me to take to work. Which is awesome except it's like a little kid's meal. Literally in a paper bag, she'll cut up an apple, make a sandwhich, and give me an oreo cookie or something. And there's always a note with some bullshit like "Don't get angry at people if they don't understand you, a lot of people are ignorant about your condition." or "I love you just as you are" or the worst one, she wrote "Autism is just a different way of looking at things" and drew a little dinosaur with thick glasses (I have thick glasses) playing with legos while two dinosaurs fought in the background.

I'm pretty sure this is a form of abuse

Like, this is the first time in a while I've seen a situation on the Internet that could really accurately be described as "gaslighting"

Hedrigall
Mar 27, 2008

by vyelkin
Um, only the people who dont know they're autistic are really autistic. So she's onto something there.

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
While I agree it is somewhat arbitrary how the world views different types of warfare (see: nukes on japan vs firebombing), you have to draw a line somewhere. Chemical weapons are on their own level. Only cowards with nothing else to resort to would use them. Nuking your enemy would be more humane.

Sjs00
Jun 29, 2013

Yeah Baby Yeah !

yeah I eat rear end posted:

While I agree it is somewhat arbitrary how the world views different types of warfare (see: nukes on japan vs firebombing), you have to draw a line somewhere. Chemical weapons are on their own level. Only cowards with nothing else to resort to would use them. Nuking your enemy would be more humane.

nice username post combo

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

It's also really hard to control chemical weapons. A change in the wind and suddenly you're gassing your own people or people you didn't mean to gas. It's effectiveness is dubious as well since if it's near your own troops they need to be wearing gear that makes it harder to fight. If you're using it on the enemy they just need to have the gear and your attack is completely ineffective.

It's also fairly slow so the horrors of it is easier to document. Having someone fall over after being shot and bleeding to death is a completely different experience to watching them slowly die from their skin peeling off or suffocating.

At the end of the day it's horrific and not very effective unless it's used against civilians. If someone is resorting to chemical weapons they're basically out of options.

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




The US routinely drone strikes civilians to death so :911:

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Yeah, gaslighting goon, you need to just break up with her. If you've told her you don't like it and she just keeps doing it then tell her to gently caress off and move on with your life.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

The US routinely drone strikes civilians to death so :911:

It's only wrong if you lose.

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?

loquacius posted:

Chemical weapons tend to kill you in horrifying and torturous ways and are frequently used on noncombatants

Chemical weapons kill indiscriminately and generally can't be directed.

quote:

I'm pretty sure this is a form of abuse

Like, this is the first time in a while I've seen a situation on the Internet that could really accurately be described as "gaslighting"

Or munchausen by proxy. She wants him to have this disease so she can be his caretaker.

jsoh
Mar 24, 2007

O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight

The Management posted:

Chemical weapons kill indiscriminately and generally can't be directed.

same with capitalism and ecological collapse but nobody is shooting rockets at empty airfields in jersey

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

The Management posted:

Chemical weapons kill indiscriminately and generally can't be directed.


Or munchausen by proxy. She wants him to have this disease so she can be his caretaker.

My mother did this to me for years. She couldn't stand that I wasn't performing well in school, so she kept taking me for testing for various things, ADD, Asperger's, etc. (Somehow left depression off the list.) Anyhow, when the results didn't fit her design, she would find someone else and start the process over. I must have taken a dozen logic and intelligence tests, all of which pretty much said the same thing: I'm intelligent enough, not anything special, and I didn't give a poo poo about school. Then she just started telling my teachers and administrators I had these problems, without a medical basis. Meanwhile, this is all making me feel like poo poo about myself, so I get worse, to the point I develop an eating disorder so I can at least control my body if not my brain.

It amazes me how out of their way people will go to have control over someone, even if it means thoroughly destroying their self-worth.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Brawnfire posted:

My mother did this to me for years. She couldn't stand that I wasn't performing well in school, so she kept taking me for testing for various things, ADD, Asperger's, etc. (Somehow left depression off the list.) Anyhow, when the results didn't fit her design, she would find someone else and start the process over. I must have taken a dozen logic and intelligence tests, all of which pretty much said the same thing: I'm intelligent enough, not anything special, and I didn't give a poo poo about school. Then she just started telling my teachers and administrators I had these problems, without a medical basis. Meanwhile, this is all making me feel like poo poo about myself, so I get worse, to the point I develop an eating disorder so I can at least control my body if not my brain.

It amazes me how out of their way people will go to have control over someone, even if it means thoroughly destroying their self-worth.

ths post was incomprehnsible u obvious moron!!

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Orkin Mang posted:

ths post was incomprehnsible u obvious moron!!

He can't help it you ignorant fool!

Come on Brawnfire, I'll buy you some ice cream.

That does suck and I'm hoping you got help and got better

The Mighty Moltres
Dec 21, 2012

Come! We must fly!


quote:

My girlfriend of 8 months is convinced I have aspergers


You don't have to see movies you don't like, you get lunch made for you, and she draws cool dinosaurs? I fail to see the problem here.

Kidding. :sever:

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

I thought you worked for Pornhub. Or are Pornhub and Brazzers under the same management now?

Where do people apply for that party stuff? RealityKings.com?

I used to work in the 'tubes' dept (tagging and doing content checks for PH and other free sites on the ph network), moved up to where I am now. Much, much better.

limp_cheese posted:

My non-anonymous confession is I actually have an account with Brazzers. I've been a member there off and on for years and am only a member now because I was really drunk after the Super Bowl and saw they were offering a year membership for $75. It was one of those "this is such a good deal I can't afford not to buy it." I mainly do it because the quality is high and I'm one of those weird people that believes I should pay for the things I enjoy, otherwise they won't be made anymore. Its the same way with movies, music, TV, or basically any other form of entertainment.

Thank you for your patronage! :toot:

My personal favourite site we own has to be babes.com

:nws: obviously. Except for me :smug:

Atlas Hugged
Mar 12, 2007


Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

limp_cheese posted:

It's also really hard to control chemical weapons. A change in the wind and suddenly you're gassing your own people or people you didn't mean to gas. It's effectiveness is dubious as well since if it's near your own troops they need to be wearing gear that makes it harder to fight. If you're using it on the enemy they just need to have the gear and your attack is completely ineffective.

It's also fairly slow so the horrors of it is easier to document. Having someone fall over after being shot and bleeding to death is a completely different experience to watching them slowly die from their skin peeling off or suffocating.

At the end of the day it's horrific and not very effective unless it's used against civilians. If someone is resorting to chemical weapons they're basically out of options.

I agree with this except the context here is obviously specifically Syria. It's not like we (meaning western governments) gave a poo poo about these people before the chemical attack and given all the horrors of that conflict, some kind of horrific death was probably inevitable anyway.

Blowing up an empty airfield hardly changes anything.

Basically, it's complicated and while chemical weapons are morally worse, things aren't better after we "retaliated".

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Yeah the chemical-weapons thing was a BS justification in this case. Trump bombed the airfield to distract everyone from all his other poo poo. It worked.

He probably chose that exact action to take because he could warn Putin about it, Putin could warn Assad, and nothing bigger will have to come of it, but for some reason Democratic punditry is fawning over how presidential Trump is now (they're probably just desperate to feel like we have a normal president again)

The really :tinfoil: thing to think about here is that Hillary Clinton literally called for the bombing of Syrian airfields in a speech a few hours before Trump bombed a Syrian airfield. Maybe Ivanka was watching her speech or something, went "hmmm that's a good idea actually", mentioned it to JKush, and he passed it along to the big man, bada bing, bada boom

quote:

My fiance and I are getting married next year. I am trying to spend more time with her family since I will become a part of the family so to speak.

The problem is her parents are awful.

Her Dad was a school band director who lost his license after having a sexual relationship with a (at the time) 15 year old girl when he was 40. That 15 year old girl is my mother in law. Their first child, which came 3 years later, is my girlfriend. So my father in law is now in his late 60s, while my mother in law is 42. They tell the story of how they met constantly and spin it as a beautiful love story where they fought against people who unfairly thought they'd never make it. He is a registered sex offender but says he "proudly" displays that because it shows how he met his wife. I'm not a law expert but I honestly do not fully understand how they ended up having kids together legally. I do know that he was unable to ever attend any school functions for the kids.

My girlfriend views it as "just how it was" and sees nothing exceptionally wrong with it. I did not know any of this until just months ago. They will tell stories about kissing on band trips and sneaking away from her parents and I seriously want to throw up every single time.

My soon to be sister in law is finishing college and has admitted to me that she believes society is doomed and that all people need to be sterilized. That was the first time we met. I have no doubt her family life influenced this a bit. She seems otherwise pretty nice and we get along talking about anime, so I have no problem with her.

quote:

i love my boyfriend to pieces and i can't imagine life without him; if soulmates exist, he's mine and we get along incredibly well and share interests and have a fantastic life together

except that i'm not attracted to him physically. like, so very little. and i don't know what to do about it

Is it him specifically or like men in general or like people in general you're not attracted to

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Hedrigall
Mar 27, 2008

by vyelkin
If it's the latter have you tried costumes in bed

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