Bubblyblubber posted:

lol, just lol if your lunch is not a hunk of salt from a salt lick and also you are a cow living your cow life. how do you post on sa with your hooves? tell us your secrets, cow person, please.

My husband's friend [44M] compared our daughter [12F] to a farm animal. I [35F] am offended, but my husband [35M] thinks it's funny. Non-Romantic


It's not his fault lady, he grew up on a farm.

Nessa posted:

Apparently, my parents felt my younger siblings would just grow out of it on their own with no pushing, so they've always been allowed to eat whatever they want. Their excuse was that I turned out okay under the same parenting, so they expected my siblings to be the same. At least, that's my mom's excuse for my brother. I'm not sure about my dad's excuse for my half sister.

TVs Ian posted:

Dinner was frequently boiled hot dogs (sometimes on bread, sometimes just cut up on a plate), or pasta with just butter (brother wouldn't eat anything with "red sauce"). We'd sometimes get pizza, but always just a plain cheese pizza, and a couple of slices of white pizza for my brother. About the most complicated thing she'd make was breaded chicken cutlets. Oh, and we had lots and lots of canned corn with butter. And no cheese on burgers, ever.

quote:

Im so upset I can hardly think strait. Of course I'm upset about the deployment but I'm devastated that he somehow thought I was too immature to handle the preparation of him being gone. I don't feel like we said goodbye properly and I'm worried that there may be some motivation on his part that I'm just not seeing.

Yesterday I took my husband to the airport thinking he had a short trip for some meetings in Texas. After his flight got to Dallas he called and said he'd made it and said he had some news. That he was really deploying to Qatar for six months. At first I thought he was kidding but the more he talked the more I realized this was serious. He'd done all his pre-deployment work without telling me, he shipped his gear over via FedEx and he's literally gone for six months. He will miss my birthday, what I thought were our summer plans, my parents 50th anniversary party that I'm planning and obviously just day to day interaction. Maybe most importantly I thought he were going to start trying for kids this summer.

I asked him why he hadn't told me and he said "because you know you can't handle bad news like this." I said that was so unfair because I still have to handle the news, but now I have to handle the news alone. He said I was "lucky" because he's had to worry about this for three extra months while I "got out of that part." I said that was ridiculous and this is so much harder. He said he thought he did the right thing and won't apologize for that. He then had to get on his connection to his military flight overseas. He tried to call me last night but I told him I was too upset to talk.

I will have a few hours to talk to him today and want to make sure I'm supportive of his being gone but I'm devastated and I want him to understand that he screwed up so big. Should I wait until he gets back to really address this or do I let him know everything that I'm feeling now.

quote:

Me [38F] with my son [16M] I'm absolutely terrified of my son's internet relationship
Morning everyone, I've been struggling recently with something out of the norm, my child's internet relationship.

I'm a single mother and my son is 16 years old. He has the same routine everyday when he gets home from school. He comes home, briefly tells me hello, grabs a soda before going into his room, shuts the door and stays on his computer till sometimes as late as 3 am.

He has done this since he was about 13 and his grades at school reflect it. He's failing all his classes and lacks the motivation to do anything.

He plays a video games pretty much all day long and is on some sort of voice program where he talks to his friends that live across the country. Most of them seem like normal people, but one friend he talks to in particular, who we'll call Peyton, is rather concerning. My son's room is fairly close to my own, and I can occasionally hear the muffled atrocities, anger, and down-right disgusting behavior that emanate from his speakers. I hear Peyton yelling things like "talk to me on more time and you gonna get you are skull cracked" or "do you wana suck mine arse". This is only a small fraction of the things I hear on a daily basis, usually its him screaming like an absolute maniac out of anger or trying to bring my son down.

The thing I find most concerning is why my son continues to affiliate himself with Peyton, why would you want to be around someone so angry, so vicious, so.... terrifying. But he talks to him every single day for sometimes 8+ hours.

Should I sit him down and have a conversation with him? I have no idea what to say. Any advice is appreciated, especially from parents who are in a similar situation.

edit: I also forgot to mention one of the scariest parts about this, my son is dead set on meeting this guy....

tl;dr: My son is in an abusive relationship online and I don't know what to do

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My (32f) military officer husband (32m) of 5 years decided I "couldn't handle" news of his deployment. I took him to the airport thinking he was going to be gone for two days and he "surprised" me that he's actually going to be in the Middle East for six months.

Barudak posted:

Yeah if at my 90th birthday my grand kids/ great grand kids dont eat the ethnic food Ive chosen Id be absolutely heart broken so thanks for turning me into the Gumbo Gestapo.

gentle pete posted:

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

this is child abuse


My (32f) military officer husband (32m) of 5 years decided I "couldn't handle" news of his deployment. I took him to the airport thinking he was going to be gone for two days and he "surprised" me that he's actually going to be in the Middle East for six months.


Surprise!

Mak0rz posted:

Eat whatever you want at home or in restaurants but if you are given food by a gracious host that invited you to dinner and refuse to eat any of it then you are an insolent child. Force it down if you have to. There's no way it's that unpleasant.

Leon Einstein posted:

That mom could try parenting and limiting her son's computer usage, but that's too hard. Lol at thinking trash talk in a game is a sign of an abusive relationship.

quote:

Hey TwoX, i'm in a pretty difficult spot here and don't really know how to go about it. I hope ya'll can offer up some advice as to how you would go about my current situation.

So basically my daughter just turned 14 about a month or two ago and she has been dating this boy for around a year or so now. He comes over fairly often, around four times a week and usually stays the night, sleeping on the couch. Now I know what kids are like these days and don't really like to think about it, but as of recent, I can hear things, things a mother doesn't really want to hear while trying to sleep in her own home. My daughter doesn't think I can hear whats going on in the living room, or her room but I can, and to be honest I thought my daughter would have more respect than that. I eventually fall asleep pretending like I didn't just hear what went down, but its difficult. I wake up in the morning as if nothing is wrong but there is.

How can I confront my daughter about this? I'm really uncomfortable about the subject and its something I would prefer not to talk to my daughter about if possible and I feel like it would create some tension between us or with her boyfriend.
Really in a pickle here ya'll :/

Leon Einstein posted:

That mom could try parenting and limiting her son's computer usage, but that's too hard. Lol at thinking trash talk in a game is a sign of an abusive relationship.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

the gamer failson mom didn't use a throwaway

How do I tell my daughter i'm NOT okay with her having intercourse in my home?

Mirthless posted:

If that's actually his internet boyfriend she might be right to be concerned tho

I'm not saying everyone with anger management problems is an abuser but there's a pretty strong correlation

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

the gamer failson mom didn't use a throwaway

How do I tell my daughter i'm NOT okay with her having intercourse in my home?

Mirthless posted:

If that's actually his internet boyfriend she might be right to be concerned tho

I'm not saying everyone with anger management problems is an abuser but there's a pretty strong correlation

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

lady you control your kid's diet you're doing a billion times more harm to her than your hubby's pet goodolboy

WampaLord posted:

I think you're taking the poo poo spewing of a 16 year old way too seriously.

It sounds like he's a typical Xbox Live edgelord.

Leon Einstein posted:

I think it's far more likely that he and his friends yell and talk poo poo while playing games all night. There is zero indication that the guy is his boyfriend.

Also, maybe the mom could tell her 14 year old daughter that her boyfriend can't sleep over? Jeez, talk about a failure of a mom.

Mirthless posted:

Well, yeah.

Having said that, would you feel comfortable knowing your kid was dating somebody who acted like that?

Bored posted:

5'2" and 120 is acceptable. It just means she's gonna have boobs.

Mirthless posted:

Well, yeah.

Having said that, would you feel comfortable knowing your kid was dating somebody who acted like that?


It's just the use of the word relationship that is throwing me off. It also seems like a silly thing to make that big of a deal about if they're just friends, but then again, this is kind of a silly lady, so

Ouhei posted:

That's uh, not how boobs work.

Bored posted:

5'2" and 120 is acceptable. It just means she's gonna have boobs.

Barudak posted:

Well on the upside there is a non-zero chance she wont have to murder him herself.

Leon Einstein posted:

You always pick the dumbest interpretation possible, and stick to it. Do you really think the 14 year old boy playing video games with online friends is in an abusive relationship with his gaming buddy because the guy talks poo poo? Were you born fully grown, or did you forget that 14 year old boys often enjoy talking poo poo?

Bored posted:

5'2" and 120 pounds is not super fat though. That's where I was in my 20s with big boobs and very little fat.

Mirthless posted:

I'm really not sure what you're trying to say here.

Are you saying he can't be gay because he's 14, or are you saying he can't be abused because he's 14?

Bored posted:

5'2" and 120 pounds is not super fat though. That's where I was in my 20s with big boobs and very little fat.

Pick posted:

That is actually a completely normal weight, I don't know where people are getting the idea that it's out of some kind of range?

Bored posted:

5'2" and 120 pounds is not super fat though.

Barudak posted:

It is pretty fat in China. Like, clothes not guranteed to be in your size at general market stores.

Mirthless posted:

I'm not chinese and I don't live in China, but Google says the average height of a chinese woman is 5'1" and the average weight is 127 lbs. Seems like 5'2 and 120 would be right around that?