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Fleta Mcgurn posted:I don't think ladron meant it in a creepy way. no, I totally did, the indian man thread has inspired me (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Apr 5, 2017 14:03
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Apr 5, 2017 14:07
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I didn't even know Dr. Frogout could go Super-Saiyan!
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Apr 5, 2017 14:55
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:I didn't even know Dr. Frogout could go Super-Saiyan! i dont get a chance to use that one often so hey win-win 
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Apr 5, 2017 15:00
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The little boy who lives next door loves to peek through the fence and say hi to my dog (who adores him, but then she adores everyone) and the other day when I saw him I called 'hey buddy!' to him. He giggled to his mom, 'I'm a puppy's buddy!'
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Apr 5, 2017 17:09
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My five-year-old daughter and three-year-old son were playing together. My son started waving around a toy sword, so my daughter picked up a heart pillow with OXOX embroidered on the front. "This is my shield. The circles are the monsters' eyes. This shield turns their eyes from circles into X's, and then they die." She ran forward and hit the side of a bookshelf, then looked down. "The monster is dead" she declared, smashing the air in front of her with her pillow a few times for good measure. Then she knelt down and started digging with her hands. "Now I'm looking for meat inside the dead monster." After a few moments she sighed and stood up. "There was only white meat inside the monster. The ants can eat this," she said dismissively as she casually tossed the invisible meat to the side. For the next monster she tried to get her little brother to "punch a hole" in the monster so the meat would just fall out. He wasn't cooperating, so she picked up a balance disc. "When I push a button, the spiky side becomes really sharp. It will poke holes in the monsters so all the meat and blood comes out." After murdering another monster, she sighed again. "No meat in this one, just skin. I'd better look for another monster to kill." This continued on for some time.
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Apr 5, 2017 18:17
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U-DO Burger posted:My five-year-old daughter and three-year-old son were playing together. My son started waving around a toy sword, so my daughter picked up a heart pillow with OXOX embroidered on the front. i think your kids may be Jrpg characters 
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Apr 5, 2017 18:19
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Dabir posted:That's very charitable of you but I don't see another way he could have meant it. I checked the dude's post history before my initial response, and yeah, p much each post in the "PYF poo poo kids say" thread has been asking for pictures of/making suggestive jokes about Fleta's kids  Just seems kinda weird if you ask me!!Astrofig posted:The little boy who lives next door loves to peek through the fence and say hi to my dog (who adores him, but then she adores everyone) and the other day when I saw him I called 'hey buddy!' to him. He giggled to his mom, 'I'm a puppy's buddy!' This is extremely adorable and should be the title of a children's book 
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Apr 5, 2017 23:05
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U-DO Burger posted:My five-year-old daughter and three-year-old son were playing together. My son started waving around a toy sword, so my daughter picked up a heart pillow with OXOX embroidered on the front. This is the best thing I could have read this crappy grey morning!
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Apr 6, 2017 00:55
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sneakyfrog posted:i think your kids may be Jrpg characters Also, the autistic kiddo, when he was 3-4 and not talking much, would draw checkmarks or X's in the air to indicate yes or no. He'd learned this from the Windows "Ok" and "Cancel" buttons.
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Apr 6, 2017 01:35
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pookel posted:Kids who've grown up with internet and videogames play in the strangest ways. Mine have been playing "levels" and "bosses" and "powerups" since they were old enough to talk. Every time my younger kids in Japan started a new unit or did really well at something, I would yell "LEVEL UP!" and they would all cheer. I miss them, I can't believe they're, like, high school students now...I feel old...
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Apr 6, 2017 02:07
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RIHANNA: "I had a dream that my beautiful teacher let me use my book on the test." ME: "It's so sad that some dreams don't come true." RIHANNA: "I've NEVER had a dream come true! I dreamed I would have big boobs, but I only have craters!" ME: "Guys, time for the quiz. Please put away your notes." RIHANNA: *Trumpishly with the fingers* "MAKE MY NOTES APPEAR AGAIN." TOM: "One-pump chump." FREDDIE: "Booty call." JAYDEN: "One-night stand." ME: "What are you talking about?" TOM: "Nothing. I am only six years old. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING." Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 11:37 on Apr 6, 2017 |
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Apr 6, 2017 09:48
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:TOM: "One-pump chump." I'm completely stealing this brilliance as an excuse for when i need it.
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Apr 6, 2017 12:00
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Story I found online. quote:"The family I babysat for needed me to work while the mother was in her office working with her clients (She would still be in the home, just not able to take care of her kids.) The kids were 6 (he shall be John) and 4 (he shall be Colin.) My job was to keep the children alive and entertained. One day the mother told me I could take them out back and let them use the trampoline. While jumping, Colin accidentally hurt John who then hit Colin. I warned John not to do it again, but he did. Twice.
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Apr 6, 2017 21:45
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That's amazing, and I couldn't stay mad at a kid like that.
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Apr 6, 2017 22:01
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Choco1980 posted:That's amazing, and I couldn't stay mad at a kid like that. Kids have the amazing ability to inspire laughter and rage at the same time. That said, yeah, he'd get some props from me for the attempt. It's kind of like when you ask a child to share their [insert snack here]. They all try the "technically obeying the rule by 'sharing' three individual cheerios" bit at least once in my experience. Content: My 3yo likes to make up little games that involve hiding under the blankets. Totally normal. Only she may also be a psycho. The other day, we were in our blanket 'house' when she told me some bad kids were knocking on the windows. (We had a real neighbor kid do this recently.) The conversation carried on like this: Her: Don't worry, Dada. I will take care of this. Me: By yourself? Her: Yes, stay in here, okay? She goes out, yells "YOU'RE FIRED" and makes some dinosaur noises before rejoining me in the fort. Me: Are they gone now? Her: Yes. I ate them for being bad. Me: You ate them? Her, serious and whispering: Listen, Dada. They are crying in my belly. Hear them crying? burial has a new favorite as of 00:25 on Apr 7, 2017 |
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Apr 6, 2017 23:12
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"A woman named Jill" is my favorite alias of all time. Especially from a tiny male.
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Apr 7, 2017 01:07
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Hey! ASK us about working at a Chinese high school E: Facebook memory today from Korea- me two years ago posted:So, I'm starting a new thing with the older kids where I look up what dumb international holiday every day is and write it on the board. Today I chose International Beaver Day. (I reproduced the speech exactly please do not be offended small children make mistakes it's ok) Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 06:37 on Apr 7, 2017 |
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Apr 7, 2017 03:53
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Sometimes even they don't know what they're talking about: TOM: "Number one, screw you. Number two, suck my dick. Number three, I'll get it done." ME: "What?!" TOM: "Uhhh...I forget."  Also, Rihanna tried to start a chant of "Drink pee! Drink pee!" but it didn't take.
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Apr 7, 2017 08:23
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Also, Rihanna tried to start a chant of "Drink pee! Drink pee!" but it didn't take. since this is the rihanna appreciation station....have you talked to her about her future plans, what she wants to study in the US (or wherever), etc?
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Apr 7, 2017 14:05
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GWBBQ posted:A friend heard her 4 year old son fall out of bed in the middle of the night and lay there quietly expecting to have to get up when the crying started. Instead, from the other room she heard a muffled "oh, for gently caress's sake" and he climbed back into bed. Little kids swearing always makes me laugh. https://mobile.twitter.com/justinmcelroy/status/850779795608743936 Unrelated, but my cousin has a six year old girl. Anytime I've come over to visit my cousin usually offers me something to drink and rattles through the list of water, soda, and beers they have. Her husband usually adds "we've got whiskey too if you want some of that." and without fail the little girl pipes up "I want whiskey!"
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Apr 10, 2017 05:16
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ladron posted:since this is the rihanna appreciation station....have you talked to her about her future plans, what she wants to study in the US (or wherever), etc? Last time she mentioned something to me, she was talking about University of Toronto. I don't know if she was saying that to butter me up (U of T alumna) or if she genuinely wants to go there. I have mixed feelings about the idea, but that's mostly because I hated U of T for various reasons that are not applicable to her. It's a good school, but there's a massive Chinese community, and I worry that she might fall into the common habit of spending all her time with other Chinese people and not expand her horizons. That doesn't sound like her, but she is pretty shy around strangers, so I worry it could happen. I just listed a lot of good points about the school and then warned her about maybe two or three major issues she could have (expensive, lack of support, etc.)
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Apr 12, 2017 03:36
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sneakyfrog posted:i think your kids may be Jrpg characters I, uh, may have played Dragon Quest VIII in front of them. Still, it was kind of weird seeing my daughter grinding for rare drops. It can be hard to play Mario in front of her because Bowser is her favorite character, and whenever I win she gets worried that he got hurt. But if I lose she'll suggest that this game is too hard for me and I should try something else.
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Apr 12, 2017 04:16
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U-DO Burger posted:I, uh, may have played Dragon Quest VIII in front of them. Still, it was kind of weird seeing my daughter grinding for rare drops. Play Bowser's Inside Story or Super Mario RPG (at least, after the introductory invasion of his castle, anyway).
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Apr 12, 2017 05:46
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ME: "What do people do on Valentine's Day?" DAVID: "SEX!!!!!" ME: "True. What else?" TAMMY: "They give presents." ME: "Right. What kind of presents?" EASON: "Durex!" And let's just say that Eason's new nickname is "Safety Boy."
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Apr 12, 2017 06:05
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Last time she mentioned something to me, she was talking about University of Toronto. I don't know if she was saying that to butter me up (U of T alumna) or if she genuinely wants to go there. I have mixed feelings about the idea, but that's mostly because I hated U of T for various reasons that are not applicable to her. It's a good school, but there's a massive Chinese community, and I worry that she might fall into the common habit of spending all her time with other Chinese people and not expand her horizons. That doesn't sound like her, but she is pretty shy around strangers, so I worry it could happen. I just listed a lot of good points about the school and then warned her about maybe two or three major issues she could have (expensive, lack of support, etc.) I meant more like telling her "you should study politics" or her saying "I want to be a biochemist" or something like that
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Apr 12, 2017 07:06
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ladron posted:I meant more like telling her "you should study politics" or her saying "I want to be a biochemist" or something like that Oh! Neither. She's never told me what she might want to study in the future. They don't always get to choose; their parents often choose for them. I encourage them to study a subject if they've demonstrated a strong affinity for it, but other than that I'm asked not to try to influence their choices. My favorite graduand last year desperately wanted to study architecture but her parents would only let her study business. It sucked. Now she's in Nebraska, the poor kid. I think Rihanna should be an anthropologist, tbh. She loves learning about other cultures and has very strong academic skills in lots of areas that anthro would nicely dovetail with.
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Apr 12, 2017 07:37
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Rihanna got really mad about the "Ethics for Chinese Students" incident last week and we talked about it for a long time, so I thought I'd send her this article by Eunice Park to give her another perspective on the fake university admissions industry. She responded with this email: quote:Thanks for sending this article to me and thanks for your concern about me.  Really makes up for the fact that I canceled the seniors' mini-archaeological excavation today because they were being dicks.
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Apr 12, 2017 10:28
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Rihanna got really mad about the "Ethics for Chinese Students" incident last week and we talked about it for a long time, so I thought I'd send her this article by Eunice Park to give her another perspective on the fake university admissions industry. She sounds like a good kid. I hope she finds a good school and a career that suits her.
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Apr 12, 2017 11:51
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Fleta, you sound like a real good teacher doing a real good job. I credit your Toronto upbringing.
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Apr 12, 2017 12:00
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Subjunctive posted:Fleta, you sound like a real good teacher doing a real good job. I credit your Toronto upbringing. Thank you, but I hail from more...southerly regions. (I tried asking CIC if one American passport plus one British passport could equal a Canadian passport, but they did not respond. BUT ISN'T IT OBVIOUS, DAMMIT?) Seriously, though, thanks. Bertrand Hustle posted:She sounds like a good kid. I hope she finds a good school and a career that suits her. God, me, too. I hope she doesn't fall apart next year like so many of them do.
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Apr 12, 2017 12:14
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Last week my kids met my coworkers including a nice lady named Crystal. All weekend long, my daughter kept wanting to invite my coworkers with us wherever we went but she could never remember Crystals name and kept calling her Diamond.
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Apr 12, 2017 12:53
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Yesterday at work this little dude came up to my register with his family and put a pile of change on the counter, proudly declaring, "I has the money! I'll buy it!" Later he told me he left all his paper money at home though.
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Apr 12, 2017 14:19
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We did a DNA extraction lab today, for which the kids needed to smush strawberries in plastic bags until they liquefied. ME: *demonstrating* "So, use your fingers to break up the strawberries-" RIHANNA: "I'm gonna use my rear end!" ME: "Good luck with that." a minute later TOM: "Fleta, rear end." ME: "Yeah?" TOM: "rear end...is different from hip." ME: "Right." TOM: "Hip is here..." *grabs his rear end with both hands* "...rear end is here!" ME: "Well done." The next fruit we used was a banana. I broke one in half so it would be easier to mush up, and: KYLE: *screams like a girl* TOM: "OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?!?" EVA: *whispering* SIMON: "Eva says too small!" Uh, well, at least we got some DNA out of it...
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Apr 13, 2017 10:16
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My wife and I grew up Catholic but neither one of us is religious, so we hadn't really explained Easter to our kids yet. When my 5-year-old asked, my wife tried to explain it to her. Wife: ...so, that's why we celebrate Easter. Did you understand most of that? Daughter: Yeah. So Jesus was a guy who traveled around telling people to be nice to each other and that Black Lives Matter, but bad people didn't like what he was saying so they killed him dead, and then a girl named Mary Magdalene--Magdalene just like my middle name!--went to his grave, but when she turned around he was standing up and said, "Hey! I'm a zombie now!" because he came back to life like the zombie monsters in Dragon Quest except he was a good zombie, and then the Jesus zombie turned into a bunny and now he brings us chocolate eggs on Easter Sunday. Wife: Not...quite... Daughter: I don't understand how a zombie can turn into a bunny though. Wife: Neither do I! Daughter: Oh well, that's cool. Aerdan posted:Play Bowser's Inside Story or Super Mario RPG (at least, after the introductory invasion of his castle, anyway). Ohhh, Super Mario RPG is a Virtual Console game now. Gonna have to grab that at some point.
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Apr 13, 2017 17:54
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ME: "What's your last class of the day?" JAYDEN: "Self-study." RIHANNA: "I want to self-study biology." *big wink* *after learning about trophic levels* TOM: "A bear is at the top, right?" ME: "Yes, I would say so." TOM: "So if a bear eats another bear, what happens to its trophic level?" LEA: "If your cat wears clothes, is that an adaptation?" RIHANNA: "Hello." LILY: "It's me." KYLE: "HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!" RIHANNA: "I don't want to adapt, I want to Adele."
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Apr 14, 2017 11:42
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:ME: "What's your last class of the day?" These kids are awesome.
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Apr 14, 2017 12:11
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Earlier a little girl sassily informed me, 'I'm not little; I'm five.'
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Apr 16, 2017 05:42
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Facebook memories from kids in Korea: ME: "What does she look like?" JACK: "She look like a fat." ME: "You want to say, 'she is fat.'" JACK: "NO. She. Look. Like. A. Fat." ME: "Okay, well, tell me something else about her. Her hair, her eyes, her shirt...?" JACK: *after a pause* "Her head look like a fat." Answers my sixth graders gave about what their brothers/sisters look like: "She looks like a monkey." "Her hair looks like a mushroom." "He looks like a cat and he climbs trees all day and I think maybe he is not smart." One girl's best friend: "Her hair looks like really bad and her hair is black." ME: "What does [my coworker] look like?" STUDENT: "She looks like...*whispers*...a teacher."
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Apr 16, 2017 07:55
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Today at the library: Look! It's Wolverine! He's crazy. He just kills people! Maybe 5 years old? I'm bad with ages.
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Apr 16, 2017 08:05
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