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BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!

Hot Diggity! posted:

Packers beating the Patriots in the Super Bowl owned



So good.

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SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


I still think the 07 Packers had a really good shot of defeating the Patriots if Favre hadn't thrown that overtime pick

Man the Packers loooove losing in the last moments of playoff matches don't they

Hunt11
Jul 24, 2013

Grimey Drawer

Manoueverable posted:

Packers beat the teams everyone else loving hates so everyone else hates the Packers only slightly less

I doubt there was the same animosity for the Pats back then as there would be a few years later. (I am not sure because I was five at the time so obviously don't remember much of how the rest of the NFL really viewed the pats at the time.)

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



No one outside the AFC east knew who the Patriots were let alone hated them in '96.

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


Wasn't everyone expecting Packers/Broncos going into XXXI anyway, if my younger self remembers right anyway

fsif
Jul 18, 2003

evilweasel posted:

remember when the patriots almost went 19-0 :smith:

I pretty much Mercury Morris the first Pats loss of the year no matter how early because I'm terrified of this eventually becoming a reality.

LiquidFriend
Apr 5, 2005

Volkerball posted:

I'm going to the kc game this year. If you want to knife fight hmu
If you're looking for a knife fight, you might get one. Fans get stupid when it's Raiders week.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

Hot Diggity! posted:

Packers beating the Patriots in the Super Bowl owned

Nobody loving cared about the Pats either way back then. They weren't even important in their own division the vast majority of the time, never mind generally hated.

Holy poo poo I am a Pats fan telling other people that history didn't start im 2001 :lol:

Chromatic
Jan 21, 2005

You guys ready to hear a satanic song?

Volkerball posted:

We lost to the Chiefs because they were better than us, but the clock is ticking and our time is nigh

Like, if the Chiefs could get a QB just a little better than Alex Smith when he finally bites it then we'll still be better. As it stands now, with the exception of QB, KC has more talent on both sides of the ball and probably more depth. Not to mention an objectively better coaching staff.

GAYFORMAHOMESGAYFORMAHOMESGAYFORMAHOMES

iospace posted:

Wasn't everyone expecting Packers/Broncos going into XXXI anyway, if my younger self remembers right anyway

Yes, but the Jaguars beat them in divisional round in the most satisfying non-chiefs game I've ever watched. Goddamn was that game a treat.

Elway actually left the field to the locker room while the Jags were doing the kneel downs because he's a shook bitch at heart and everyone knows it.

You can watch that game here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgn-C6QLtuI

https://youtu.be/sgn-C6QLtuI?t=6638 = :allears:

Chromatic fucked around with this message at 13:17 on Apr 12, 2017

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

iospace posted:

Wasn't everyone expecting Packers/Broncos going into XXXI anyway, if my younger self remembers right anyway
Yeah. IIRC the Broncos clinched home-field super early and rested their starters. And when it came time to play the Jags, Woody Paige wrote that dumb column.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Chromatic posted:

Like, if the Chiefs could get a QB just a little better than Alex Smith when he finally bites it then we'll still be better. As it stands now, with the exception of QB, KC has more talent on both sides of the ball and probably more depth. Not to mention an objectively better coaching staff.

GAYFORMAHOMESGAYFORMAHOMESGAYFORMAHOMES

If we got a pro bowl QB is a nice fantasy for a lot of teams. And discounting QB the Raiders have a way better offense. You've got Kelce and not much else. Defense tho, yeah probs.

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


Eli Wiggum posted:

Yeah. IIRC the Broncos clinched home-field super early and rested their starters. And when it came time to play the Jags, Woody Paige wrote that dumb column.

Woody Paige and dumb column is redundant, but what exactly did he write again?

AAAAA! Real Muenster
Jul 12, 2008

My QB is also named Bort

Chromatic posted:

Like, if the Chiefs could get a QB just a little better than Alex Smith when he finally bites it then we'll still be better. As it stands now, with the exception of QB, KC has more talent on both sides of the ball and probably more depth. Not to mention an objectively better coaching staff.

GAYFORMAHOMESGAYFORMAHOMESGAYFORMAHOMES


Yes, but the Jaguars beat them in divisional round in the most satisfying non-chiefs game I've ever watched. Goddamn was that game a treat.

Elway actually left the field to the locker room while the Jags were doing the kneel downs because he's a shook bitch at heart and everyone knows it.

You can watch that game here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgn-C6QLtuI

https://youtu.be/sgn-C6QLtuI?t=6638 = :allears:
I needed this today, thank you.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



iospace posted:

Woody Paige and dumb column is redundant, but what exactly did he write again?

That the Jaguars had no chance against them so the Broncos might as well sit around and jerk off instead of playing the game, then they did and the Jags killed them.

So then the Jaguars went to Foxborough and played in a foggy mess of a game, and then the Patriots got spanked by the Packers because of a loving kick returner and bigot.

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005








https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi4GnC6Pkus

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

Kalli posted:

That the Jaguars had no chance against them so the Broncos might as well sit around and jerk off instead of playing the game, then they did and the Jags killed them.
Eh, I wouldn't exactly say they killed them. The final score was like 30-27 with the Jaguars scoring the go-ahead touchdown near the end of the game.

In that column, Woody also coined the term "Jagwads"

pubic works project
Jan 28, 2005

No Decepticon in history, and I say this with great surety, has been treated worse or more unfairly.

Dude that's my loving favorite episode!

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



pubic works project posted:

Dude that's my loving favorite episode!

It's pretty great that I posted that in response to one post and then the next page and a half was tales of almost got 'em.

Durandal1707
Oct 11, 2013
A lot of people thought the Jags were going to be shredded by Denver, in part because the Jags were only in their second year of existence and because Denver rolled through the regular season to the point where they were resting dudes with like three weeks to go in the season or some poo poo. (which is why the Packers blew 'em out when they played that season; Elway, Davis et al barely played in that game)

But a lot of people slept on the Jags that year, to the point where they beat an aging but still decent Bills team and sent Jim Kelly to the retirement home.

Eli Wiggum posted:

Eh, I wouldn't exactly say they killed them. The final score was like 30-27 with the Jaguars scoring the go-ahead touchdown near the end of the game.

In that column, Woody also coined the term "Jagwads"

Denver was up 12-0 on 'em to start out the game, too. It was definitely a very tight game.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

Kalli posted:

That the Jaguars had no chance against them so the Broncos might as well sit around and jerk off instead of playing the game, then they did and the Jags killed them.

So then the Jaguars went to Foxborough and played in a foggy mess of a game, and then the Patriots got spanked by the Packers because of a loving kick returner and bigot.

Let's not lose sight of the fact that the 1996 Patriots were way worse at everything in football than the 1996 Packers.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Also, gently caress Bill Parcells.

Chromatic
Jan 21, 2005

You guys ready to hear a satanic song?
were the 96 patriots actually good or was that just parcells' last gasp

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World
They were a pretty :effort: playoff team that just kind of had everything break their way until they ran into the Packers.

The passing game was above average but not great or anything, the defense was league average, and the running game was below average even though they had Curtis Martin. Drew Bledsoe was always kind of dumb but could huck it real good. And that's kind of it, I think?

Pats fans were thrilled to have him instead of the likes of Tony Eason, but him going against peak Favre and the #1 defense in the league was just kid of lol.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



They were a pretty good team, and the end result of a 4 year rebuilding process.

in '93, Parcells takes over, flushes the roster, drafts Bledsoe #1 and the team is awful, but then wins out in December (to go 5-11... yeah) and show they were on the right track.

'94 the team is still very thin, they start 4-6, and have 0 running game, but Parcells gives up and lets Bledsoe throw every down, and they go 10-6 before losing to the Belichick Browns in the playoffs.

'95 the wheels fall off, I ... kinda forgot what happened since I spent a chunk of the season in Hong Kong, and only could get news about what happened from USA Today blurbs, but the team regressed hard and was a mess.

'96 Curtis Martin's in his 2nd year, they've got a rookie Terry Glenn to go along with Ben Coates and Troy Brown in their prime and the offense is pretty beastly, while the defense is good enough behind a bunch of super guys like Willie McGinest, Ty Law, Lawyer Milloy and Tedy Bruschi.

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
The '96 Patriots were also on the receiving end of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJ4UwE5WNI0

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Ben Coates wasn't as good as Chmura

Michael Corleone
Mar 30, 2011

by VideoGames

Kalli posted:


'94 the team is still very thin, they start 4-6, and have 0 running game, but Parcells gives up and lets Bledsoe throw every down, and they go 10-6 before losing to the Belichick Browns in the playoffs.


I was at that game! Last Browns playoff win :(

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

Kalli posted:

They were a pretty good team, and the end result of a 4 year rebuilding process.

in '93, Parcells takes over, flushes the roster, drafts Bledsoe #1 and the team is awful, but then wins out in December (to go 5-11... yeah) and show they were on the right track.

'94 the team is still very thin, they start 4-6, and have 0 running game, but Parcells gives up and lets Bledsoe throw every down, and they go 10-6 before losing to the Belichick Browns in the playoffs.

'95 the wheels fall off, I ... kinda forgot what happened since I spent a chunk of the season in Hong Kong, and only could get news about what happened from USA Today blurbs, but the team regressed hard and was a mess.

'96 Curtis Martin's in his 2nd year, they've got a rookie Terry Glenn to go along with Ben Coates and Troy Brown in their prime and the offense is pretty beastly, while the defense is good enough behind a bunch of super guys like Willie McGinest, Ty Law, Lawyer Milloy and Tedy Bruschi.

Parcells really did turn the team around, but they were not in Green Bay's class in basically any category. It wasn't 1985 Super Bowl level disparity, but it still wasn't good.

John Brown
Jul 10, 2009

Embarrassingly late to this discussion, but Frank Gore will be in the Hall. His squeaky clean image and inevitable accomplishment of being a Top 5 all-time rusher will put him over the top. He's not first ballot, but he'll eventually get in.

Durandal1707
Oct 11, 2013
I love Shannon Sharpe to an embarrassing degree.

Volkerball posted:

Ben Coates wasn't as good as Chmura

Speaking of Chmura, there's a part in Gunslinger where he was all hurt and said Favre was selfish because he didn't stick up for him putting his dick in a teenager and it's hilariously clueless.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Eli Wiggum posted:

The '96 Patriots were also on the receiving end of this:

I was in Hong Kong for that game, remember being on top of Victoria Peak when I bought the USA Today with that picture in it, and then walked around the mountain blasting KMFDM's Nihil and feeling very The Cure about things for awhile.

Be mine, sister salvation
Juke joint Jezebel is coming for my cremation

Kalli fucked around with this message at 17:30 on Apr 12, 2017

Hot Diggity!
Apr 3, 2010

SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF
Chmura had a house pretty close to mine and he is has been and will continue to be a gigantic piece of poo poo

JPrime
Jul 4, 2007

tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales!
College Slice
remember when the cards and the seahawks forgot how kicking worked?

http://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/201610230crd.htm

:allears:

Fritz Coldcockin
Nov 7, 2005

sean10mm posted:

Parcells really did turn the team around, but they were not in Green Bay's class in basically any category. It wasn't 1985 Super Bowl level disparity, but it still wasn't good.

Wasn't that the Super Bowl where Reggie White clowned Max Lane so badly Lane needed therapy afterwards?

AAAAA! Real Muenster
Jul 12, 2008

My QB is also named Bort

JPrime posted:

remember when the cards and the seahawks forgot how kicking worked?

http://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/201610230crd.htm

:allears:
:stonklol: I think that may be worse than some of those historically bad Bills-Browns games people still lament about.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Alter Ego posted:

Wasn't that the Super Bowl where Reggie White clowned Max Lane so badly Lane needed therapy afterwards?

Yeah, that was the game where the Patriots pull it within one score in the third, then immediatley give up a 100 yard Desmond Howard Kick return, then Reggie White sodomized Max Lane for consecutive sacks to kill the next drive and I go listen to KMFDM for a year.

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
The one thing I remember about KMFDM is that they were one of the many blamed for the Columbine shooting because Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were huge fans of theirs, so they ended up changing their name to MDFMK

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

SHOAH NUFF posted:

my favorite was all the TFF raiders posters stating that the cold weather at Arrowhead was to blame for the Raiders 2nd KC loss last year, and how it just wasn't fair that they had to play outside when Carr had a hurt pinkie

Except nobody said that. We were all laughing that your poo poo team barely beat us at home, in cold rear end weather with a broken Carr and an overall Raiders team that played like hot garbage. Nobody deserved to win that game tbh

a patagonian cavy
Jan 12, 2009

UUA CVG 230000 KZID /RM TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE BENGALS DYNASTY

JPrime posted:

remember when the cards and the seahawks forgot how kicking worked?

http://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/201610230crd.htm

:allears:

second best game of the previous season. Watched it to the end and every second of overtime was absolutely incredible. 10/10

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Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling

Black Sunshine posted:

Except nobody said that. We were all laughing that your poo poo team barely beat us at home, in cold rear end weather with a broken Carr and an overall Raiders team that played like hot garbage. Nobody deserved to win that game tbh

haha, okay buddy.


Remind me the last time the Raiders beat KC, in any stadium, in any type of weather?

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