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Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
I know this has come up before, but it's a long thread: what can I get somebody that is closest to garum? I've done some research but I'm interested to hear if anyone here has an opinion.

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Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Southeast Asian fish sauce. If you can find some real grody homemade style stuff that still has fish hunks in it that's even better.

Tias
May 25, 2008

Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund
Ancient History: Many People Come to Visit and Bring Wine After I Fell Off My Horse, Drunk

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Grand Fromage posted:

Southeast Asian fish sauce. If you can find some real grody homemade style stuff that still has fish hunks in it that's even better.

This was my immediate recommendation, but the person I was talking to wanted something else.

Ras Het
May 23, 2007

when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child - but now I am a man.

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

This was my immediate recommendation, but the person I was talking to wanted something else.

Then tell him to make his own fish sauce

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
I think my reaction was pretty much well if you don't like that just let some fish rot in the sun and then scrape off the goo that collects on top of them.

GoutPatrol
Oct 17, 2009

*Stupid Babby*

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

This was my immediate recommendation, but the person I was talking to wanted something else.

Tell em to go suck a cabbage.

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

Tias posted:

Ancient History: Many People Come to Visit and Bring Wine After I Fell Off My Horse, Drunk

Alcohol, the source of and solution to all of life's problems.

Atlas Hugged
Mar 12, 2007


Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

JaucheCharly posted:

To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems.

Tonight a man in my Master's course told my wife she smelled just like Malibu, his favorite drink.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Tunicate posted:

Jello was a similar high end fad that went downscale as it got cheaper. I think there's a website called the 'gallery of regrettable food' with some great pictures.

Like 85% of my general knowledge, I first found out that gelatin had cow's hooves in it from Asterix comics.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Atlas Hugged posted:

Tonight a man in my Master's course told my wife she smelled just like Malibu, his favorite drink.

A "man"

FAUXTON
Jun 2, 2005

spero che tu stia bene

You smell like coconut rum that comes in a plastic bottle, which I loving love

Ainsley McTree
Feb 19, 2004


FAUXTON posted:

You smell like coconut rum that comes in a plastic bottle, which I loving love

That is the smell of all my bad college memories

Zopotantor
Feb 24, 2013

...und ist er drin dann lassen wir ihn niemals wieder raus...

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

This was my immediate recommendation, but the person I was talking to wanted something else.

Worcestershire sauce.

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

Zopotantor posted:

Worcestershire sauce.

A sound recommendation in general, regardless of its applicability to the question.

Strategic Tea
Sep 1, 2012

Funny way of spelling garum my trousered friends

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
Stop quoting recipes, we carry garum.

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

Tunicate posted:

Jello was a similar high end fad that went downscale as it got cheaper. I think there's a website called the 'gallery of regrettable food' with some great pictures.

Lileks.com - there was also a book. It wasn't high end in the least though :)

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

Started of high end affectation, then went down to middle america once it became affordable.

https://whatscookingamerica.net/History/Jell-0-history.htm

Middle america, having no idea what to do with this hoity toity new ingrediant, spammed it everywhere.

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

Tunicate posted:

Started of high end affectation, then went down to middle america once it became affordable.

https://whatscookingamerica.net/History/Jell-0-history.htm

Middle america, having no idea what to do with this hoity toity new ingrediant, spammed it everywhere.

I think people are speaking past each other. Gelatine - posh once. Jell-O (tm)? Not so much.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

I think my reaction was pretty much well if you don't like that just let some fish rot in the sun and then scrape off the goo that collects on top of them.

That's literally your only alternative. Though the goo doesn't actually collect on top! We have serving bottles of garum that appear to have had the fish stuffed inside, and the bottle has a hole on the bottom. The fish would float up to the top and the garum liquid to the bottom, so you dispensed it that way.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Well, I was pretty close for an off the cuff response.

I think I'll buy this person some colatura di alici, I was hoping you all would have a better idea than that. It's Italian and involves fermented fish.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo
Do we have an idea of how garum tasted? "similar to south east asian fish sauce"?

Actually, in general, what sort of food did romans or greeks eat? And what was olive oil used for? Did the romans start italian pasta tradition or did that come later?

I just realized I know basically nothing of roman food tradition except bread, wine, and rich fat men on palanquins being fed grapes. Did they even eat grapes or were they used only for wine?

homullus
Mar 27, 2009

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Do we have an idea of how garum tasted? "similar to south east asian fish sauce"?

Actually, in general, what sort of food did romans or greeks eat? And what was olive oil used for? Did the romans start italian pasta tradition or did that come later?

I just realized I know basically nothing of roman food tradition except bread, wine, and rich fat men on palanquins being fed grapes. Did they even eat grapes or were they used only for wine?

We have a late Roman cookbook.

CoolCab
Apr 17, 2005

glem

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Do we have an idea of how garum tasted? "similar to south east asian fish sauce"?

Actually, in general, what sort of food did romans or greeks eat? And what was olive oil used for? Did the romans start italian pasta tradition or did that come later?

I just realized I know basically nothing of roman food tradition except bread, wine, and rich fat men on palanquins being fed grapes. Did they even eat grapes or were they used only for wine?

The two things I remember is that they used an amount of salt that we would find repulsive (as the cuisine of most seafaring, salt as a preservative societies would taste to us now) and that only barbarians would have their wine undiluted.

I think some recipes even survive? efb

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

the romans posted:

179 Gruel and Wine
Pultes Oenococti

Porridge and wine is thus made:
1 flavor the pulse well with wine
2 and immerse in the juice dainty morsels.

sounds delicious. Who doesn't love a good gruel?

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
If you drink a bunch of vodka, smoke a cigarette, eat a ton of pizza and fries, then vomit into a flush toilet, you've just had an evening of delights that were not available to even the mightiest of the ancient Romans.

Pontius Pilate
Jul 25, 2006

Crucify, Whale, Crucify

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

If you drink a bunch of vodka, smoke a cigarette, eat a ton of pizza and fries, then vomit into a flush toilet, you've just had an evening of delights that were not available to even the mightiest of the ancient Romans.

Don't forget to contract syphilis during your gently caress you Caesar bender.

Ainsley McTree
Feb 19, 2004


Pontius Pilate posted:

Don't forget to contract syphilis during your gently caress you Caesar bender.

Is syphilis new?

cheetah7071
Oct 20, 2010

honk honk
College Slice

Ainsley McTree posted:

Is syphilis new?

First definitely-attested case was in 1493 or 1494. It's a popular but unproven theory that it was the sole major disease to jump from the new world to the old world, as opposed to vice versa.

e: It apparently used to be way nastier too--modern syphilis produces genital sores and even untreated takes years to kill its victim. Old syphilis produced sores all over the body, made your flesh slough off, and killed in months.

Ainsley McTree
Feb 19, 2004


cheetah7071 posted:

First definitely-attested case was in 1493 or 1494. It's a popular but unproven theory that it was the sole major disease to jump from the new world to the old world, as opposed to vice versa.

e: It apparently used to be way nastier too--modern syphilis produces genital sores and even untreated takes years to kill its victim. Old syphilis produced sores all over the body, made your flesh slough off, and killed in months.

Huh. I just assumed it was always around. I had a similar revelation about the origins of potatoes

Koramei
Nov 11, 2011

I have three regrets
The first is to be born in Joseon.
It's true, both potatoes and syphilis sprouted from the ether in 1493

Ainsley McTree
Feb 19, 2004


Koramei posted:

It's true, both potatoes and syphilis sprouted from the ether in 1493

I meant to say "was always around in the old world" but was imprecise with my language thank you for pouncing on it

Octy
Apr 1, 2010

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

sounds delicious. Who doesn't love a good gruel?

Jokes aside, it is pretty awesome that we have an actual cookbook from all that time ago.

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

Ainsley McTree posted:

Huh. I just assumed it was always around. I had a similar revelation about the origins of potatoes

Potatoes I knew about but not syphilis, it would make sense with the heightened lethality if it was a new disease to most of the old world.

Though I cannot imagine a society that could function without the potato.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

cheetah7071 posted:

First definitely-attested case was in 1493 or 1494. It's a popular but unproven theory that it was the sole major disease to jump from the new world to the old world, as opposed to vice versa.

e: It apparently used to be way nastier too--modern syphilis produces genital sores and even untreated takes years to kill its victim. Old syphilis produced sores all over the body, made your flesh slough off, and killed in months.

Curing syphilis was a worth a nobel prize.

Despite the fact the cure was literally malaria.

Pontius Pilate
Jul 25, 2006

Crucify, Whale, Crucify

OwlFancier posted:

Though I cannot imagine a society that could function without the potato.

Or Italian cuisine without the tomato.

cheetah7071
Oct 20, 2010

honk honk
College Slice

Pontius Pilate posted:

Or Italian cuisine without the tomato.

Or Thai cuisine without chili peppers

cheetah7071
Oct 20, 2010

honk honk
College Slice
Basically every animal we eat is old world, and the majority of good-tasting vegetables are new world. Fruit and fish seem to be about evenly split from what I can tell.

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Pontius Pilate
Jul 25, 2006

Crucify, Whale, Crucify
It actually took a while for Italians (this is Italy so obvious caveat of it varies greatly by region) to catch onto the tomato. It wasn't until the 19th century that it became common in cooking despite being introduced hundreds of years ago and grown as ornamentation.

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