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Alan_Shore
Dec 2, 2004

For something different listen to this GitS inspired album. It's really good. Listen to it as you fall asleep

https://valkyrie1984.bandcamp.com/album/ghost-in-the-machine-episode-ii

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Mithaldu
Sep 25, 2007

Let's cuddle. :3:
Such a sweet lullaby.

https://valkyrie1984.bandcamp.com/track/zero-hour

Alan_Shore
Dec 2, 2004

I can fall asleep to it on the lowest setting on my earphones. It's just dreams

7c Nickel
Apr 27, 2008
Another GITS inspired album is the OST for Neotokyo.

https://edharrison.bandcamp.com/

The game kinda failed because it didn't make you feel like the badass super cyborg you were supposed to be, but the OST is still pretty solid.

7c Nickel fucked around with this message at 23:14 on Apr 14, 2017

Young Freud
Nov 26, 2006

7c Nickel posted:

Another GITS inspired album is the OST for Neotokyo.

https://edharrison.bandcamp.com/

The game kinda failed because it didn't make you feel like the badass super cyborg you wereartisr supposed to be, but the OST it still pretty solid.

One of the things I found bitching about the prop design of this film is that I found that WETA artist Leri Greer, then known as "Pushbak" and would later be instrumental in the design of the War Rig in Fury Road and play a heavy part in the logo and branding of props in Elysium and Chappie other artists at WETA called it "Lerification", was the lead artist for NEOTOKYO.

Young Freud fucked around with this message at 02:22 on Apr 15, 2017

Tenzarin
Jul 24, 2007
.
Taco Defender


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKdcjJoXeEY

I hope no one ever tries to pull off the producers in real life.

remigious
May 13, 2009

Destruction comes inevitably :rip:

Hell Gem
Guys I actually kind if liked this movie. At first I thought it was beating me over the head with ideas that were far more subtle in the anime(s), but once it found its footing I enjoyed it. Plus they included my favorite character! (Gabriel)

Milkfred E. Moore
Aug 27, 2006

'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'
Just got back from the cinema.

This film paints a surprisingly uncomfortable yet plausible picture of the future and it is fascinating to see so many people fail to pick up on the obvious bits of it. Probably because they had decided to dislike it before going in.

But, come on, a scene where a black prostitute has to install white prosthetics, corporations building white bodies for Asian people they abduct, a woman uses her last line of defense - "I do not consent" - to avoid a terrible medical procedure and the doctor smiles and says that they never actually needed it, and the constant sense of disconnection between every character, the extrajudicial murders, Mira/Motoko giving up her identity and just becoming "the Major" the weapon with authorisation, the clear class divides, the repeated use of electricity as a source of technology and a weapon to abuse people with...

Paolomania
Apr 26, 2006

Yes it is a good movie too quickly dismissed by those itching to judge it - for example those posters who want to weave a narrative of utter failure by a white-washed western adaptation using threads made of only US box office data (heyooooooo!)

Alan_Shore
Dec 2, 2004

Orrrr it was just a boring Robocop remake with a flat protagonist and cliché antagonist.

Echo Chamber
Oct 16, 2008

best username/post combo
And whitewashing is bad.

Tenzarin
Jul 24, 2007
.
Taco Defender
My favorite part is how it took all the source material, that's like a Twinkie.


And they sucked out all the white filling goodness and then used it all to make a single movie. When there is only the yummy filling with nothing to contrast it then nothing is special.

Bugblatter
Aug 4, 2003

Oh, a counterargument that is entirely a food analogy.


Milky Moor posted:

Just got back from the cinema.

This film paints a surprisingly uncomfortable yet plausible picture of the future and it is fascinating to see so many people fail to pick up on the obvious bits of it. Probably because they had decided to dislike it before going in.

But, come on, a scene where a black prostitute has to install white prosthetics, corporations building white bodies for Asian people they abduct, a woman uses her last line of defense - "I do not consent" - to avoid a terrible medical procedure and the doctor smiles and says that they never actually needed it, and the constant sense of disconnection between every character, the extrajudicial murders, Mira/Motoko giving up her identity and just becoming "the Major" the weapon with authorisation, the clear class divides, the repeated use of electricity as a source of technology and a weapon to abuse people with...

If you read through the thread, quite a lot of people had similarly positive reactions and I think in terms of visual communication there's a bit to discuss. But there are half a dozen posters hanging over the thread making negative posts anytime someone comes in to say something positive though. Which like, would be fine if their posts had any meat to them or if they were actually counterarguments intended for discussion, but it's just reiterations of the same statements and comes across as shouting down opposing opinions.

Tenzarin
Jul 24, 2007
.
Taco Defender
Its like the pies in Revenge of the Nerds, that just a pie tin and whipped topping.



At least they only charged like a dollar or something.

Avshalom
Feb 14, 2012

by Lowtax
fart fart fart faaaarrrrt

Quiet Feet
Dec 14, 2009

THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?





Tenzarin posted:

My favorite part is how it took all the source material, that's like a Twinkie.


And they sucked out all the white filling goodness and then used it all to make a single movie. When there is only the yummy filling with nothing to contrast it then nothing is special.

Twinkies are yellow on the outside and white on the inside tho.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

The movie is like a car, that runs on food. Instead of gas. And they filled the tank with twinkies instead of healthier options so now the car is running really slow.

Olympic Mathlete
Feb 25, 2011

:h:


Quiet Feet posted:

Twinkies are yellow on the outside and white on the inside tho.

:lol:

forest spirit
Apr 6, 2009

Frigate Hetman Sahaidachny
First to Fight Scuttle, First to Fall Sink


Has anyone scoped this? I'm not a weeb so I don't usually have my finger to the pulse of japanese culture but it seems like the opinion on Ghost in the Shell 2017 in glorious Nippon is that "this is another incarnation, and it's better than a lot of the other incarnations", and "we liked it"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAxt0UkezXI

I saw it on the mini-imax last week and I thought the movie was beautiful to look at. I would have appreciated more fleshing out of the Section 9 squad because we really only get one scene of banter between the group and that's in the red hologram briefing room. The thing with that scene I noticed is that it's dripping with characterization in such a short time period. You get to see how everyone composes themselves in an "oh poo poo" briefing, Batou has that moment where he's sitting in boss man Aramaki's seat and makes an "EUP" face before quickly switching seats, and we have that bit of dialogue about augmented livers and then Togusa is thrown into relief by admitting he's enhancement free. I can understand if someone said "but this is Major's story", and I agree, but I think we'd learn more about the Major this way.

This is all characterization that you'd be bringing to it if you were a fan, and I've seen some GITS stuff so I grokked a little bit, but I felt the movie could have toned down on the close-ups of the Major for some more of her interacting with people or her squad. That being said I really enjoyed the entire thing.

And someone said she gave up on being both of her personalities in favor of the Major, and I didn't feel like that at all, especially wherein she rekindles her relationship with her mother in addition to carrying on with Section 9.

Mithaldu
Sep 25, 2007

Let's cuddle. :3:

Penpal posted:

Has anyone scoped this? I'm not a weeb so I don't usually have my finger to the pulse of japanese culture but it seems like the opinion on Ghost in the Shell 2017 in glorious Nippon is that "this is another incarnation, and it's better than a lot of the other incarnations", and "we liked it"

The opinion on what seems to be japan's IMDB (where he's sourcing his cherry-picked quotes from) is: "meh"
The only thing that saves it from :mediocre: is the visuals.

https://movies.yahoo.co.jp/movie/358781/

Bugblatter
Aug 4, 2003

Mithaldu posted:

The opinion on what seems to be japan's IMDB (where he's sourcing his cherry-picked quotes from) is: "meh"
The only thing that saves it from :mediocre: is the visuals.

https://movies.yahoo.co.jp/movie/358781/



3.5 isn't a bad rating on yahoo.jp. It is, for instance, higher than the other versions of GitS. Extremely well loved movies tend to reach 4. Above that and you're in Alice in Wonderland territory. Also the center point on that rating graph is positive. We use the same rating system on Korea's site and it's pretty rare for something to break above the mid-point on on more than one category. The professional review aggregate in Japan was at 74%.

LashLightning
Feb 20, 2010

You know you didn't have to go post that, right?
But it's fine, I guess...

You just keep being you!

So, was Kuze just mind controlling everyone involved in his plot to put his mind in cyberspace, or did he have an actual following? Dude couldn't really even control his own body that well. It's one thing to confuse a guy into doing actions (like in the original where the puppet master made a dude unleash a bunch of script-kiddy programs, although he thought he was just calling his kid from a bunch of public telephones) but to get the bin men to go from "just dudes" to assassins was a bit much.

I mean, involving a weird cult obsessed with cybernetics that seeks to "perfect" a "near-perfect" being like a dude who's brain is in a cyborg body by making his brain also a computer would have made this movie something interesting.

Also, all the technicians in red operating garbs who must be accomplished doctors in cybernetics just standing around at attention like they're loving soldiers or something in the background lol

Basically there's a hundred more interesting plots going on in the background, and most of them are probably not even intentional.

Mithaldu
Sep 25, 2007

Let's cuddle. :3:

Bugblatter posted:

It is, for instance, higher than the other versions of GitS
Which is completely meaningless to compare, given it has 143 reviews compared to the 500+ on the new one, and all of them are 2006 or later.

On Metacritic the original GITS has a 76% rating, which is in stark contrast to its universal acclaim everywhere else and entirely due to a completely braindead and tiny selection of reviews: http://www.metacritic.com/movie/ghost-in-the-shell

You can't make a useful comparison of the aggregate scores of movies this far apart without actually looking at the data in detail.

Also i like how you throw out data point, but no links, good job.

Bugblatter
Aug 4, 2003

Mithaldu posted:

Which is completely meaningless to compare, given it has 143 reviews compared to the 500+ on the new one, and all of them are 2006 or later.

On Metacritic the original GITS has a 76% rating, which is in stark contrast to its universal acclaim everywhere else and entirely due to a completely braindead and tiny selection of reviews: http://www.metacritic.com/movie/ghost-in-the-shell

You can't make a useful comparison of the aggregate scores of movies this far apart without actually looking at the data in detail.

Also i like how you throw out data point, but no links, good job.

I'm on my phone during a morning commute man, it was from the Hollywood Reporter's writeup but I don't have it handy and can't recall the site name.

Point is, relative to other releases, not just other GitS, that's not a poor score. Your screenshot supports what the other guy was saying.

Mithaldu
Sep 25, 2007

Let's cuddle. :3:

Bugblatter posted:

I'm on my phone during a morning commute man, it was from the Hollywood Reporter's writeup but I don't have it handy and can't recall the site name.
That would be an ok thing to say if you, e.g. bothered to say you would add links later.

Bugblatter posted:

Point is, relative to other releases, not just other GitS, that's not a poor score.
Maybe, can't be arsed to go looking.

Bugblatter posted:

Your screenshot supports what the other guy was saying.
No, they state quite different things.

Mithaldu fucked around with this message at 00:17 on Apr 18, 2017

Bugblatter
Aug 4, 2003

Mithaldu posted:

You can't make a useful comparison of the aggregate scores of movies this far apart without actually looking at the data in detail.

Mithaldu posted:

Maybe, can't be arsed to go looking.

Uh, okay. "You have to look at the detail and context." "I'm too lazy to check the context."

Mithaldu posted:

No, they state quite different things.

Uh, no it says exactly the same thing. You just don't understand how the scores work and are too lazy to check.

Bugblatter fucked around with this message at 00:27 on Apr 18, 2017

Mithaldu
Sep 25, 2007

Let's cuddle. :3:

Bugblatter posted:

Uh, okay. "You have to look at the detail and context." "I'm too lazy to check the context."
You're pretty good with that apples/oranges thing. I like how you have a shtick and really stick with it.

Bugblatter
Aug 4, 2003

Mithaldu posted:

You're pretty good with that apples/oranges thing. I like how you have a shtick and really stick with it.

You're insisting on examining statistical detail then refusing to do so on the most basic level. It's all apples.

starkebn
May 18, 2004

"Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"
Stop trying to grab each other's dicks

forest spirit
Apr 6, 2009

Frigate Hetman Sahaidachny
First to Fight Scuttle, First to Fall Sink


Mithaldu posted:

The opinion on what seems to be japan's IMDB (where he's sourcing his cherry-picked quotes from) is: "meh"
The only thing that saves it from :mediocre: is the visuals.

https://movies.yahoo.co.jp/movie/358781/



Did you watch the video? He brings up yahoo.jp scores at 3:50 and talks about the internet points the other GitS movies got, and says the consensus is generally positive on GitS 2017. I would post a time stamp but I'm phone posting

SuperMechagodzilla
Jun 9, 2007

NEWT REBORN

Penpal posted:

I'm not a weeb so I don't usually have my finger to the pulse of japanese culture but it seems like the opinion on Ghost in the Shell 2017 in glorious Nippon is that "this is another incarnation, and it's better than a lot of the other incarnations", and "we liked it"

Well yeah; it's those that unexamined notions of ethno-national purity.

To an American weeb, Ghost In The Shell 2017 is "supposed to be Japanese". Note how many people ITT assume that the 1995 film took place in Japan, and assert that Kusanagi must be a pure-blooded Japanese woman (i.e. she cannot be bi- or multi-racial (despite living in Hong Kong and having blue eyes)). According to this standard, the filmmakers failed to make the Japanese movie; they were supposed to honour the Japanese people and their nation, beautiful Japanese culture and so-on.

To people actually living in Japan, you do not have these weird notions - because they actually live there. Ghost In The Shell 2017 is simply understood as an American/Chinese coproduction, because that's what it is. There's nothing unusual about it being made in Hong Kong and starring a white actress; it's no different from any other American film. (If anything, it's more 'progressive' because we've got a female comic book superhero - while nerds are still pushing for a Black Widow movie and writing thinkpieces about Wonder Woman.)

Note the bizarre double standard we discovered - that there would be less (or no) complaints about the casting if the film's setting were simply changed to 'America'. Like, just throw in some onscreen text that says "Los Angeles, 2039" and you have an exceptionally diverse Blade Runner film. (Remember how Blade Runner starred Harrison Ford, Sean Young, and Rutger Hauer? To my knowledge, no-one has ever complained that those actors weren't Japanese.) It's unavoidable: to the American weeb, Japan is perceived as monolithic, uniform and homogeneous, while America is just a normal place with normal people living together.

Tenzarin
Jul 24, 2007
.
Taco Defender

LashLightning posted:

So, was Kuze just mind controlling everyone involved in his plot to put his mind in cyberspace, or did he have an actual following?

In Gits 2nd SAC, he wanted to help refugees to upload their brains to the internet so they could be free and not live in slums. I think in this he used morty dumb waves to hide his rick smart waves so he could hack the major?

an skeleton
Apr 23, 2012

scowls @ u

Totally agree. good post

Sir Kodiak
May 14, 2007


SuperMechagodzilla posted:

America is just a normal place with normal people living together.

:agreed:

Nichael
Mar 30, 2011


I know this is like three weeks late, but I finally saw this the other day and I'm pretty surprised by the tepid critical reaction. Some of the dialogue and story were kind of rote, but the production behind it was extremely impressive and memorable.

well why not
Feb 10, 2009




http://www.glixel.com/news/hideo-kojima-on-the-philosophy-behind-ghost-in-the-shell-w475805

Kojima seemed to generally like it, but considers the adaptation itself a poor execution.

quote:

Even with all the latest visual technology, though, the film basically boils down to a series of faithfully recreated scenes from the anime. This is not a bad thing per se. As a fan of the manga and anime, it was a pleasant surprise, and the respect that the movie shows in mimicking the anime is unquestionable. As a real fan of the original works, though, I can't help but feel that the production was trapped in the shell of the original, and as a result, it fails to come into its own.

Avshalom
Feb 14, 2012

by Lowtax
It was a lovely Friday afternoon, and Mikey had just arrived home from a long day of high School. He was 18, a junior, and wasn't really much of a popular kid. In fact, he would sometimes get made fun of at school for pretty much anything. You'd be surprised to see what it takes to become popular. Of course, there is the "Classic Cool" starter kit I myself actually used when I entered Middle School and went to high school. This kit consisted of: A plain black or blue Jansport Backpack, a single pen/pencil, 1 small 1/4th in. 3-ring binder, notebook paper, and 1 eraser. Of course, if you didn't have any of these things, you could always resort to the 1 item that levels the playing field for all the students, no matter how popular or unpopular you are; you have this, and you'll make at least 1 friend... Gum. It's a no-brainer; kids don't even like gum that much. It's the psychological illusion of breaking a well-known rule that makes chewing gum specifically at school or in class so appealing. Unfortunately for Mikey, he didn't do any of those things. He just minded his own business and did his work. He stayed away from large groups and stayed close to his own tight group of about 3 or 4 friends. Now, because today was Friday, it meant that there was a very high chance that Mom and Dad would be going out on their date tonight. They try to do it at least twice a month on Fridays, so that they can relax. They don't take Mikey with them, so it's only natural for him to assume that he was the one they needed a break from. Since the bus ran a bit late today, his mom and dad are already home. Dad is googling some places they can go tonight while mom picks out what they are both going to wear.

Dad: "Hey champ. How was school?"

Mikey: "It was alright. Tiring though..." He says as he slumps down on the kitchen chair next to his father. Mikey is very shy when it comes to talking with other people, but he is very out-spoken and vocal when it comes to his own parents. Being an only child, Mikey had all the attention to himself, even if he didn't like the attention all the time, he at least appreciated the effort that his parents made for him.

Mom: "Honey?" Mikey's mother calls from upstairs.

Dad: "What is it, sweetie?"

Mom: "You'll never guess who I just got off the phone with..."

Dad: "Was it your mother? Cause if it was your mother, Idon'tcare!"

The two men of the house silently snicker at dad's remark, and the woman snaps back.

Mom: "No, you snail! It was Carol. You know, the babysitter?"

Dad: "Uhh, is she on her way right now? We're not leaving for another 3 hours."

Mom: "She's not on her way; she just called me to cancel!"

Dad: "What?! Really?! Bu-Du-I-I-I just booked us a reservation at the Marionette! I had to pay in advance!"

Mom: "Well, then we either have to find another babysitter, or we'll just have to cancel."

Mikey: "Why can't I just come with you guys?"

Dad: "Noooo way big guy. Last time you went out with us, I gave your mother a peck on the cheek and you nearly flipped out."

Mikey: "Well-I-I mean, yeah..."

Mom: "Oh, you know who we could ask? That uh, what's her name, the neighbor's daughter. I forget her name..."

His heart pounding harder and faster, the name comes to mind...

Mikey: "...Melissa Parker."

Dad: "You know her?"

Mikey: "Well, I know she lives next door."

Mom: "Oh well, there you go, baby! Why don't you go over right now and ask to see if she'll babysit you?"

Mikey: "MOM! Are you crazy?!"

Mom: "Well, I DID marry your father..."

Dad: "It's true."

Mikey: "I can't just go over to her and ask her to babysit me; we go to the same school together! Do you have any idea how embarrassing it'll be if she see's me at school after BABYSITTING me? What if she tells the whole school? I'm already a nobody!"

Dad: "Wait, if you're already a nobody, what's the big deal then?"

Mikey: "DAD! NOT HELPING!" Mikey shouts as he widens his eyes and furrows his brows to give a look of confusion.

Mom: "Well, somebody's going to have to ask. Your father already paid for the reservation, so either you or your father are going to have to ask."

Mikey and his dad both turn to look at each other.

Dad: "So, how do you want to do this? Rock, Paper Scissors? Or do yo-"

Mikey: "NOT IT!"

Dad: "What? UH-D-UH NOT I- drat it!"

Mikey reaches over and takes his dad's soda and guzzles it down while the dad sluggishly gets up from his wooden chair to go ask the neighbors.


==== 1 HOUR LATER ====

Mikey heads up the stairs and goes to his room. As he walks down the hall, he see's his mother ironing her dress and dad's slacks. He walks in to give her a kiss on the cheek and returns back to the hall to enter his room. Once inside, he tosses his backpack onto the bed and kicks his shoes off. He powers on the computer he has on his desk and types in his password. He removes his blue zip-up jacket and tosses it into his closet while his computer loads. After organizing some of the clothes on the bed, he turns his attention to his computer monitor. Everything has loaded up nicely and is ready to be operated. He opens up a "Dummy Tab", and then opens up an "Secretive Tab". A secretive tab is a special feature one a certain browser that allows you to browse the internet without remembering anything you go on. It's the solution for not remembering to delete your history. A dummy tab is what he opens up and keeps in reserve for when his parents walk in on him looking at something they would disapprove of. The dummy tab usually has a video from Youtube on it, or a page on cooking; anything. If he's on the secretive tab looking at something he would get in trouble for, he can just quickly switch over to the dummy tab, and it will look like he's been reading about the latest box office hits, instead of what he's really after...

Fart videos and stories.

He's always been interested in them, to the point where he finds them really attractive. He's still doesn't know why, but, he just really likes it. He's not even sure in what way he like it. He loves reading stories about guys posting their real life experiences on past or current girlfriends who aren't embarrassed by farting. He's never had a girlfriend, but he's always hoping that one day, he would find a girl to fart for him, just to see how it feels, sounds and smells up-close. After browsing for a few short minutes, the door suddenly opens, and he slightly flinches and opens the "Dummy Tab". He spins around and finds his father standing outside the door with only his face peeking in through a small crack.

Dad: "Hey, so uhhhh... That girl you like is gonna babysit you tonight, ok? Take a shower or else you're going to drive her away!" And with that, he quickly leaves.

Mikey: "I-I don't smell!" ...... "Do I?"


==== 2 HOURS LATER ====

After showering and cleaning his room up, Mikey begins to sweat up a storm when he sees Melissa Parker exit her house and walk towards his front door. This beautiful 18 year old has always caught his eye like she was bait, and he was the dumbest most oblivious trout in the world. Her long blonde flowing hair sways in the wind and bounces with each authoritative step she takes. She radiates beauty, and control. A very deadly combination. Mikey gulps hard when he notices what she's wearing. A bright yellow T-shirt with baby blue pants and gray canvas shoes. She's almost here! Mikey sprints over to the living room, past his parents who are grabbing their things now. His mother is applying make-up on, looking in the mirror they have near the entrance of the house, and his father is going around making sure the other doors like the back door and garage door are locked properly.

*DING DONG DING DONNNNNNGGGG DONG DING DING DOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG*

God that doorbell has always annoyed Mikey. He tries to sit in a "cool" position, but he doesn't know one. Clasping onto the remote control to the television, he turns on the TV and flips through some of the channels. His mom opens the door.

Mom: "Hello Melissa! How are you?"

Melissa: "Hello Mr. and Mrs.- Ohhgn.. I uhm... told you over the phone, but I think I'll be ok."

Dad: "I still don't think we should have you wash the dishes for extra money... I mean, a stomach ache should be, what? How do you treat a stomach ache?"

Melissa: "Aauuhggg..."

Mom: "Oh, stop teasing her!" She says slapping her husband with her purse.

Mom: "Now, we'll be gone for about 2-3 hours, depending on the traffic and whatnot. Feel free to help yourself to what's in the kitchen, and if you get sick, do not hesitate to call us; we will come right back home!"

Melissa: "No no, it's alright. I need the money anyways."

Dad: "Smart girl. Always try to keep that income coming in, ok? That's how I married- OUCH!"

Mom: "Quiet, you!" *Wink* "Anyways, like we said before, you do not have to do the dishes if you do not want to, alright?"

Melissa: "I won't let you down you two... Have a great night out!"

Mikey: "Bye mom, Bye dad!"

Mom: "Bye honey!"

Dad: "Take care champ!"

And with that, Melissa softly closes the door, and walks over to Mikey, clutching her stomach. Melissa is one of the most popular girls at school, she's also one of the prettiest. Mikey can't help but fake looking at the door or window just to get a glimpse of her face which, for some reason, is a bit contorted.

Melissa: "Well? Are you going to watch anything? There's no sound." She asks with a hint of scorn in her tone.

Mikey: "H-Huh? Oh, S-Sorry..."

Melissa: "Give me the remote."

Mikey: "Uhm. O-Okay."

Melissa: "And stop looking at me so much. It's creepy"

Blushing heavily, Mikey hands her the remote, which she grabs, but doesn't let go of yet-


* BRRRRTRTRTRTRTRTR *


A hefty ripper bellows and cries underneath Melissa, as it's forced into the cushions on the couch, forever staining them with the harsh stink of her smell. After she cuts her beefy smelling fart, she releases her grip on the remote. Her trick was to wait until the hot, steamy gas traveled up a bit near Mikey's arm, so when he took his arm back, he would unintentionally waft the putrid vapor over to himself. And he does, and he gags immediately from the raw stench.

Melissa: "Oooohhh, Whew. You gonna cry, nerd?"

Mikey: "N-no..."

Melissa: "No? Heh, we'll see about- BR-BR-RB-RB-RBAAAAAAAT - *sigh* that..."

From hefty, to sloppy; this fart sounded downright disgusting. It almost sounded like a person gargling melted Play-Doh. This one had a distinct smell of garlic and expired milk. Mikey tries his best to cover his fragile nose, but he keeps poking his nose out of the ineffective safety of underneath his shirt to get another whiff. Melissa catches this, and calls him out on it.

Melissa: "What are you doing? God, you're a creep. At least cover your nose, even I know they smell bad."

Rubbing her slightly bloated belly, she sighs heavily. Then, her insides growl tenaciously, almost intimidating to hear. She pats her stomach to calm the savage beast trapped within, and stands up.

Melissa: "I'm going to go do the dishes..."

She walks past him, and he times it just right to get a perfect inhale of the gas expelled from her behind. He coughs, but slightly suppresses it, so that Melissa doesn't hear him. He grabs the remote back from where she was sitting, and lowers the volume down a bit. A few seconds go by, and all he can hear is-

* PPRRAAAUUMMPPHH * Melissa: "Oh god... Phewy, that is bad... Like, really bad."

And then she turns the sink on. Mikey can hear the running water and the clinking clanking of porcelain dishes and glass and plastic cups. He stands up and goes over and hides behind the right side of the doorway leading into the kitchen. She washes the plates and cups vigorously, causing her booty to jiggle up and down, up and down, left and right, left and right, up and right, down and left- it puts Mikey in a trance, until-
She looks back without turning her body, only her head.

Melissa: "What are you doing back there? Are you watching me fart? Heh heh; you're so dirty..."

They both go silent for a few seconds until Melissa breaks the silence...

Melissa: "Well? Do you want to get closer?"

Mikey: "Uhm.. C-Can I?"

Melissa: "Just be careful back there. I said I was going to take care of you. If you pass out, I'm just going to tuck you in and say you fell asleep. Oooooh, I think I have a big one!"

Mikey takes 3 large steps towards her and begins to crouch to get a clear view of her booty. In fact, he gets so close, that all he can literally see is her booty; hiding behind her baby blue, and likely brown stained, jeans.


* PRAT-PRAT-PRATTTRRRBRRRRR *

Melissa: "Oh God! Uuuggh, that felt so good. Hurry up and sniff it; I don't want any of it getting up here."

Mikey: *COUGH COUGH* "T-They're really strong..."

* BBRRRRROOOOMPFFFF *

Melissa: "No talking! Only sniffing. I need you to get rid of thi- WOOOO! That is RANCID! Oh wow! You ok back there?"

Caught in a coughing and gagging fit, Mikey does his best to not vomit. It's hard to describe, but he still really enjoys the smell.


==== 3 HOURS LATER ===

* BBBAAAAMMMPH-Brrrrrrrrrr *

Melissa had just RIPPED rear end right into the middle of Mikey's BLT sandwich. It was a hot fart too, nearly toasting the delicate white bread and melting the cheese while dehydrating the tomatoes and adding a nasty beefy taste to the turkey.

Melissa: "Aaaahhh...~ That was definitely refreshing... Thirsty?"

Mikey: "Y-Yes please." Excited whet she's going to do next, he hands her a large green cup. Melissa fills it up halfway with some Sprite and waits for the bubbles to go down. She reaches into a drawer and pulls out a straw, turns around, and places the tiny, drat near microscopic when compared to her lovely butt, straw on her blaster cannon, puts the straw in his drink, and let's it rip like no one's business.

* ....BRBRBRBRBRUUUURRRRRRPPPPPRRRRTTRRRBTRRRAMPHHHHSHSH *

This fart lasted an amazing 13 seconds! It could have been due to the fact that she needed to push hard and wait for all the gas to travel down the tiny straw, into the cup, and then bubble it's way out of there. The fizzy drink slowly erupted like a child's volcano project in elementary school, gas bubbles gushing out of the rim of the cup and overflowing and slowly dripping down the length of the cup. It takes about 1 whole minute for her gas bubbles to truly dissipate.

Melissa: "There. NOW that drink's got- *SLAP* -gas!"

She brings the dominated beverage and the tormented straw up to her face, but immediately gags at her own raw stank.

Melissa: "WOOOO, Geez! It smells like... death! Heh..."

Not far from the truth, it smells like rotting eggs and decaying flesh that has been in the desert. Manning up, she puts the poor straw in her mouth, and takes a sip of her brew.

Melissa: "OH GOD! Eeewww, Here! You drink it! And you'd better finish it all because you're not going anywhere until you do...~"

The power of her fart did many things to poor drink. For starters, she blasted it's innocence away. The amount of pressure, force and gas completely depleted the soda pop of any artificial gas, now replaced with natural gas. Its taste went from "Tasty Lemon-Lime" to "Nasty Sewer Water". There was something else that made it even worse... The heat. Part of the bubbles were from the gas that was forced into the straw, but not all of them... Some of them were heat bubbles; the incredible temperature of her gas had brought the poor element to a BOIL, converting a small amount of the drink from liquid, to noxious gas in a matter of seconds. Mikey tries to act tough in front of Melissa and takes a big gulp immediately... BIG MISTAKE. The drink burns his throat and tongue, and the gruesome, revolting taste and vile, horrific stench forces him to projectile vomit nearly half a quart into the kitchen sink.

A few minutes go by, and Mikey is recovering on the couch with a blanket sitting next to Melissa, who has restrained herself from farting for Mikey's own good. She told him to not talk to him for the remainder of the night, and at school Monday, and she will talk to him after school on Tuesday. He, of course, agree-


* DING DONG DING DOOOOOONNNNNG *

Melissa: "Uh oh. You know what I have to do now, right?"

Mikey: "W-Wait, I can just go up myse-"

Melissa stands up and shoves her large rear end right on Mikey's face. Her anus is both on his mouth and near his nostrils. Then, with 1 final push- NO; a gruesome shove, Melissa unleashes an unholy demon right into Mikey's body.

Melissa: "Sorry Mikey, but it has to go inside of you so that they don't hear what's going on, and so that there is no smell...~ Goodnight!"


* PPRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMPH *

She had just released nearly 2 and a half liters of lethal and deadly gas down Mikey's lungs in the span of 4 seconds or so. He knocks out... for 21 hours. It should be noted that he was fine, but he nearly suffered from a collapsed lung after Melissa had had her fun with him......

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

well why not
Feb 10, 2009




lol

Vintersorg
Mar 3, 2004

President of
the Brendan Fraser
Fan Club



Oh yeah.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BHGhLTXXsw

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Shageletic
Jul 25, 2007

Your story sucks bro

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