Brown Paper Bag posted:

Turnball has announced 457 visas are getting scrapped.

Senor Tron posted:

What's the longest period an ousted PM has stayed in parliament?

Wheezle posted:

I just want to know what happens to those already here on 457s.

Wheezle posted:

I just want to know what happens to those already here on 457s.

Wheezle posted:

I just want to know what happens to those already here on 457s.

Wheezle posted:

I just want to know what happens to those already here on 457s.

Solemn Sloth posted:

“Everyone has got to live within their means and government ultimately is no different to businesses and households,” Mr Abbott said.

“If you spend more than you earn, ultimately you go broke and our country has been living on the credit card since 2008 and sooner or later it is all going to end badly. This budget is as good as any time to get on with it.”


Presumaby this is the same tony abbott that took out a loan to cover living expenses?

DancingShade posted:

Remember those rather significant changes to GST collected on imported goods meant to be coming into effect July 1st or so? Specifically how all goods even under the current limit of $1k from overseas will now be taxed by making the vendor responsible for collection & payment to Australia even though they're an overseas entity?

Well I hope nobody shops on Ebay because it looks like Australia will be geoblocked if the legislation passes.
http://www.smh.com.au/business/retail/ebay-threatens-to-block-australian-shoppers-over-gst-20170417-gvmkoe.html

Incidentally the legislation hasn't been put through yet and this tax change is meant to start in two and a half months.

Any bets on whether Australian imports grind to a complete halt mid year, whether everything builds up in a giant oversized import overflow warehouse while 3 customs workers desperately try to catalogue 100% of all minor goods imports or whether the attempted legislation doesn't happen?

(After July 1st I'm going to import a bunch of super low value stuff like cheap cables from overseas vendors that I know won't be registered with the ATO just to see what happens)

Gorilla Salad posted:

Oh come on now, how is any man supposed to support himself on a paltry $300,000 per year? Of course he had to get that cost of living loan for $700,000!

Bogan King posted:

Wheezle posted:

What in the everloving gently caress is this poo poo

Bogan King posted:

Rowan Dean posted:

The world of aviation was rocked to its core this week following an alarming incident in which an elderly male passenger was hauled out of his seat, beaten, dragged down the aisle and turfed off a plane by airline security guards. The incident took place on a crowded Quaintass flight out of Sydney and was filmed by terrified passengers who watched as the screaming man was left bloodied and bruised. "We had no choice," explained the CEO of the airline, Mr Alan Joystick. "The plane was fully booked with a typical diverse and gender inclusive crowd from inner-Sydney when we realised we needed an extra seat for a transgender member of the cabin crew called Raylene. Naturally, we looked around to see who was the least diverse passenger on board and we immediately spotted this 70-year-old doctor who wasn't wearing his designer Gay Marriage "Acceptance" ring, with the little gap in it symbolising the gap in gender equality in Australia, which we had so generously handed out with the boarding passes at Check-In. Somehow he'd slipped on board without slipping it onto his finger. Obviously, we couldn't expect LGBTIQ passengers to tolerate such a blatant display of intolerance, homophobia, and transphobia on the same flight as themselves."

The man has since been identified as a doctor with a dark and sinister past. "We have found out that he used to trade things like flowers or a trip to the movies followed by dinner and bubbly for unnatural heterosexual acts with members of a different sex. He was not the sort of person we want on our airline," explained an unrepentant Mr Joystick. "Marriage equality is all about love and compassion, so if you choose to disrespect our community by not wearing your voluntary Acceptance ring then don't be surprised if you get turfed off our flights."

In other news this week, the ABC confirmed that it had reinstated "axed" newsreader Natasha Latham after an embarrassing on-air gaffe which had gone viral on social media. "Media reports that Natasha has been 'barred', 'banned' or 'fired' are completely untrue," explained a spokesperson for the ABC. "Although we take on-air standards seriously, we don't always expect perfection."

The controversy was sparked when Ms Latham, an attractive young brunette intern from Campelltown, was caught out whilst hosting a popular cable TV current affairs show. "Natasha was daydreaming about being back in Parliament when the camera cut to her and suddenly she realised she was live on air. But instead of smiling calmly Natasha opened her mouth wide, and out came all this stuff about oppressed white men and domestic violence and identity politics and lefties and political correctness and sexism and Rosie Batty and disabled radio presenters and man-toddlers and gay schoolboys so we had no choice other than to cut to a commercial break." The spokesperson assured reporters that Ms Latham would soon be back behind her regular desk. "But only on Facebook, obviously," he added.

Meanwhile, the world of political comedy was rocked to its core this week by the sudden death of much-loved satirist Scott Morrison. Morrison was out walking in the high altitude corridors of the Victorian ABC when he suffered sudden heart failure. "His career died a natural death doing what he loved best, looking for the media spotlight," explained a teary spokesperson. "He was in pretty rude political health, and thought he could tackle Jon Faine, but he made the fatal error of double-crossing Ray Hadley. It was downhill from there. He never stood a chance."

Scott Morrison was best known for his deadpan TV send-ups of being a federal treasurer. "You could hardly tell him apart from the real thing!" said one tearful fan. "Particularly the way he used all that waffly bureaucratic language in such a smug and self-important manner. It was hilarious." Said another: "Scott was quirky, witty and brilliant – a man who exposed the total absurdity, hypocrisy and stupidity of our national economics debate every time he opened his mouth."

Apart from his regular stand-up routines during question time, Morrison also co-wrote the popular comedy skit "The Games", in which a devious and underhand Communications Minister plots to bring down a first term Prime Minister before the Canning byelection with the help of a loyal deputy and 54 bed wetters. "It's a classic comedy of errors. But the ending is a real shocker."

In other news, the world of schizophrenia was rocked to its core by the sudden reappearance of two Julia Gillards. Said a spokesperson for Beyondblueties: "One Ms Gillard underfunded the NDIS, the other is foaming at the mouth about it. We have no idea which is the Real Julia."

Rowan Dean's 2nd AFR collection Way Beyond Satire https://www.wilkinsonpublishing.com.au



Read more: http://www.afr.com/opinion/columnists/mistakes-on-the-plane-as-ringless-doctor-carted-off-20170412-gvj9ti#ixzz4ea70GEPL
Follow us: @FinancialReview on Twitter | financialreview on Facebook

Recoome posted:

it's pretty much the literary equivalent to Bill Leak

Bogan King posted:

The Age posted:

Private schools would be able to create "satellite" Indigenous-only campuses that would reap hundreds of thousands in extra taxpayer funding under reforms presented to the Turnbull government.

As entirely Aboriginal campuses, the satellite schools would be eligible for maximum government subsidies, worth tens of thousands a year per student - regardless of the wealth of the parent school.

The idea is being pushed by the Association of Heads of Independent Schools of Australia, whose chief executive Beth Blackwood played down concerns about segregation of Aboriginal students.

"It's not an isolationist approach. They do have opportunities to integrate with the wider school community," she told Fairfax Media, citing extra-curricular programs like sport and music.

"At the end of the day, if you're working in partnership with the Indigenous communities and it's something they want for their youth … then it can work."

In its pre-budget submission to the Turnbull government, AHISA pointed to schemes run by St Andrew's Cathedral School and Barker College - both in Sydney - that had achieved "exceptional results".

Gawura School was spun out of St Andrew's and is now registered as its own entirely Aboriginal school, meaning it attracts the highest possible rate of additional funding from the federal government.

A similar initiative, Melbourne Indigenous Transition School, was launched in Richmond last year, offering places for 22 pre-secondary Aboriginal students.

The change sought by AHISA would allow private schools to establish satellite campuses without registering them as separate schools, which requires a separate board and principal.

In its submission, AHISA said the reform would "speed up the process", reduce administrative costs and encourage the proliferation of satellite campuses.

Education experts welcomed the interest independent schools were showing in closing the education gap, but said it was vital the plan be executed fairly.

Pete Goss, the director of the Grattan Institute's school education program, warned it could "create more segregation" if schools cherry-picked bright Indigenous students rather than opening a lottery.

"They have an obligation to take any Indigenous student who is needy," he said.

Mr Goss also argued schools should be prepared to cop a reduction in funding at their main campuses if they segregated the most disadvantaged students to a satellite campus.

"If you're going to ringfence, you ringfence on both sides," he said. "I don't think they would expect to have their cake and eat it too."

But the Turnbull government, which is planning a major overhaul of school funding later this year, backed away from the proposal on Tuesday.

Education Minister Simon Birmingham said he welcomed all ideas but the government already provided $278 million annually in Indigenous loadings to schools.

Those schools already have "the autonomy to make decisions about how they distribute that funding to students and between campuses", Senator Birmingham said.

All schools are eligible for the loading, which starts at 20 per cent per student and increases to 120 per cent if the school's entire student cohort is Aboriginal.

Jennifer Buckingham, a senior research fellow at the Centre for Independent Studies, was "squeamish" about segregation but said satellite campuses could work if they served a genuinely different community.

For example, Darkinjung Barker College on the NSW central coast is 70 kilometres from the main Barker College on Sydney's upper north shore.

"It is much more justifiable to have a separate campus that is aimed particularly at Indigenous students if it is located in the area they live," Dr Buckingham said.

Mr Goss said the only holistic way to close the education gap was "a full court press" from schools serving Indigenous communities, most of which were public.

Ten Becquerels posted:

I linked this to a friend and they started talking to me about how Clontarf schools are indigenous-only and they work, and I'm still trying to explain how fundamentally different a program run in the areas where a lot of Indigenous kids live and run with Indigenous and community involvement is to a private school wanting to shove some kids into a separate campus so they can game a system intended to help the former groups. I don't care if there are circumstances where the funding model is good, this particular proposal just sounds like a cash grab of the worst kind. We already pour enough money into private schools, isn't the whole point of a private school that it's NOT government funded?

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

The list of occupations you can get an 457 for also changes effective tomorrow. More than 200 taken off.