pig slut lisa posted:

Here's an interesting one. In summary:

• Startup decides to change their URL to something shorter. However, this involves switching from a .com address to a much less common .co address.
  
• Startup decides that $10,000 is a reasonable price to pay for their desired URL, and puts in a bid at that price (instead of starting below their target). The bid is immediately accepted with no counteroffer. Great negotiating, fellas!
  
• Startup realizes they have to spend an unbudgeted $1,200 on new Google Apps accounts for everyone.
  
• Startup fucks up their domain migration (idk how, I'm not a YOSPOS brain, you can read about it here), resulting in a precipitous drop in their search traffic as people can't find the new website.
  

The full story:





Far from the worst story in this thread, but still a lot of going on.

The Lemondrop Dandy posted:

The moral of that story is if you are cheating the feds and other folks/family can prove it, don't piss off those other folks/family!

More lawbreaking is found through pissed-off ex-spouses, ex-lovers, former business partners, and estranged family than you'd think. Especially white collar poo poo like in the story.

Fraud is fascinating.

Krispy Kareem posted:

A family friend's sister is married to a guy who owns a very successful roofing business and doesn't declare all his income. They've been separated for 8 years and he still gives her tens of thousands of dollars every month for exactly that reason.

Seems like it would be cheaper to just not cheat on taxes and/or spouses.

Krispy Kareem posted:

A family friend's sister is married to a guy who owns a very successful roofing business and doesn't declare all his income. They've been separated for 8 years and he still gives her tens of thousands of dollars every month for exactly that reason.

Seems like it would be cheaper to just not cheat on taxes and/or spouses.

Barry posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/668da4/scumbag_aunt_ripped_off_my_grandma_for_years_i/

It's long and I don't feel like spending 10 minutes reformatting the OP so just click the link. Solid BWM on the Aunt's part.

Youth Decay posted:

BWM thread in a nutshell

Youth Decay posted:

BWM thread in a nutshell

Barry posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/668da4/scumbag_aunt_ripped_off_my_grandma_for_years_i/

It's long and I don't feel like spending 10 minutes reformatting the OP so just click the link. Solid BWM on the Aunt's part.

Dogcow posted:

I wanted to know what "rag money" referred to and it's an old timey version of buttcoiner's "fiat money!!!!!!", though of course that was actually a legit thing in 1875. Googling "rag money" however also resulted in getting an ad for the official BWM thread headwear:



Also a new opportunity for dropship guy

theHUNGERian posted:

Hold my beer, buckle up, and swallow whatever is in your mouth.

My landlady picked me because of my horoscope, I poo poo you not. She asked me for my birthday (date, time, location), went to her PC where she entered the data, uttered a few 'ooohhhs' and 'aaaahhhs', and told me she would rent the place to me. She then also explained the reasoning in more detail. Apparently the planets were aligned in a certain way that makes me a character that she is comfortable renting to. I had just finished a BS in physics and I was about to start my MS/PhD work in EE, so it was hard to keep a straight face, but I must have managed.

In the end, it worked out for her, because 10 years later, she is still my landlady.

Same landlady also planned her wedding in such a way that the "Yes I do" would happen a very specific time (down to the exact minute) because of her and her partner's horoscopes.

legendof posted:

BWM: buying a $400 machine to squeeze juice of a proprietary, QR code-locked bag you can only buy through a subscription service you're only eligible for after buying the $400 bag-squeezer. But don't worry, the machine used to be $700 so it's a great deal!

https://arstechnica.com/business/2017/04/this-400-appliance-that-squeezes-juice-out-of-a-bag-appears-unnecessary/

monster on a stick posted:

Rent-to-own dogs

Suspicious Lump posted:

OH poo poo, this is really BWM. Not the dumb loving machine, the company promised investors (which included alphabet) a machine that will cold press fruit and veg. What they delivered was a piece of poo poo machine that squeezes poo poo for you out of a bag of reconstituted juice.

This is a really good scam.

quote:

A three-year-old girl has been left traumatised by the loss of her pony after American fighter jets were seen flying low near his field.

'After that it all happened so quickly, the emergency vet was called and it took five people to get the pony back in the yard, but it was too late, he had twisted his gut and died before the vet could arrive.

Mr. Fix It posted:

You should have NSFWed this, 'cause it's absolutely pornographic

Youth Decay posted:

BWM thread in a nutshell

ate all the Oreos posted:

Ha Ha yeah don't you dare vote for good policy you drat poors get back to the factories and quit your loving complaining

ate all the Oreos posted:

Ha Ha yeah don't you dare vote for good policy you drat poors get back to the factories and quit your loving complaining

legendof posted:

BWM: buying a $400 machine to squeeze juice of a proprietary, QR code-locked bag you can only buy through a subscription service you're only eligible for after buying the $400 bag-squeezer. But don't worry, the machine used to be $700 so it's a great deal!

https://arstechnica.com/business/2017/04/this-400-appliance-that-squeezes-juice-out-of-a-bag-appears-unnecessary/

quote:

The person also argued that using the $400 juicer is cleaner and easier than squeezing the bags by hand.

Renegret posted:

Why even squeeze it.

Just poke a hole in the bag with a straw and have an adult, overpriced capri sun

ate all the Oreos posted:

Because it's literally a plastic bag with fruit and vegetable bits sealed inside, that is squeezed into juice by the machine.

So you're paying $8 or $10 a pop for a bag of fruits and vegetables shipped to you from California that makes one single serving of juice

ate all the Oreos posted:

Because it's literally a plastic bag with fruit and vegetable bits sealed inside, that is squeezed into juice by the machine.

So you're paying $8 or $10 a pop for a bag of fruits and vegetables shipped to you from California that makes one single serving of juice

FrozenVent posted:

The fact that Whole Food stays in business is a perfect illustration of why Econ 101 doesn't apply in the real world.

ate all the Oreos posted:

Because it's literally a plastic bag with fruit and vegetable bits sealed inside, that is squeezed into juice by the machine.

FrozenVent posted:

The fact that Whole Food stays in business is a perfect illustration of why Econ 101 doesn't apply in the real world.

quote:

Study: Edible Arrangements Disproves Central Tenets Of Capitalism

WALLINGFORD, CT—Upending more than two centuries of free-market theory, leading economists across the globe announced Thursday that the fundamental principles of capitalism had been "irrefutably disproved" by the continued existence of the designer fruit-basket company Edible Arrangements.

According to experts, the Connecticut-based franchise, which arranges skewered pieces of fruit into displays vaguely resembling floral bouquets, has defied all modern economic models, expanding continuously for the past decade despite its complete lack of any discernible consumer appeal.

"In theory, the market should have done away with Edible Arrangements long ago," said American Economic Association president Orley Ashenfelter, who added that one of the crucial assumptions of capitalism is the idea that businesses producing undesired goods or services will fail. "That's how it's supposed to work. Yet somehow, despite offering no product of any worth whatsoever, this company not only makes payroll every week, but also generates strong profits."

"It's mind-boggling," Ashenfelter continued. "I honestly have never even heard the name Edible Arrangements mentioned in conversation before. Seriously, has anyone?"

Upon examining the so-called Edible Arrangements paradox, economists worldwide have abandoned many of the ideas that have dominated economic thought since the time of Adam Smith, arguing that the forces of supply and demand are powerless to explain the company's 45-piece line of officially licensed NASCAR-themed fruit bouquets.

"To understand this enigma, we must discard the naïve notion that free-market prices reflect what consumers are willing to pay," Nobel laureate Joseph Stiglitz said. "Otherwise, how else are we to rationalize the phenomenon of a human being willingly spending 84 bucks on 18 green apple wedges and a Mylar balloon?"

An unofficial survey conducted by Stiglitz found that not one of the AEA's 18,000 members had ever purchased or received an Edible Arrangement or knew of anyone who had, indicating that the franchise was operating in "some advanced realm of economics" in which the so-called profit motive no longer applied.

Even many of the nation's staunchest neoliberal economists, who have long advocated laissez-faire policies, acknowledged that the ideas of F.A. Hayek, Ludwig von Mises, and Milton Friedman cannot account for how Edible Arrangements operates from more than 1,000 locations in 13 countries, including Hong Kong, Italy, India, and Kuwait.

"Clearly the invisible hand has led us astray when it allows for the continued existence of a store that manufactures 'Sympathy Blossoms' of chocolate-dipped orange slices for funerals and wakes," said N. Gregory Mankiw, a former economic adviser to George W. Bush. "And when people are buying 3,000 'Orange You Gonna Feel Better Soon?' bouquets a day, the idea of consumers as 'rational actors' goes out the window pretty fast."

Harboring doubts that such a business could generate $200 million in annual revenue, the Department of Commerce last year launched an investigation into whether Edible Arrangements served as a front for some sort of illicit trade. Internal reports reveal agents uncovered nothing illegal, and were instead "absolutely stunned" to find real, functioning storefronts with paid employees, computers for tracking actual orders, and stockrooms packed with honeydew melon balls and pineapple slices cut into the shape of butterflies.

"It defies all logic," Commerce Secretary Gary Locke said of the company's gift bouquets. "These things are like six pounds of cantaloupe—who could possibly eat that much? And they're already cut up, so you have to eat them quick or throw the whole thing out. For Christ's sake, Americans don't even eat fruit."

In spite of lingering bewilderment at the company's success, economists have reportedly pledged to work together to develop a new and more encompassing theory of global markets

"Right now, we just have to accept the fact that Edible Arrangements exists and is, somehow, a part of our current economic reality," said Ashenfelter, while perusing the company's online store. "Besides, my mom's birthday is coming up and, now that I'm seeing these, I think she might really like this one with the teddy bear on it."

Dick Nipples posted:

And yet I was just reading in either WSJ or Barron's that activist investors are looking to buy into Whole Foods.

Apparently, despite charging a shitload for everything they're BWM and having a hard time sustaining profits.

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

They actually had a big study disproving modern economics recently based on a similar methodology.

ate all the Oreos posted:

"Study: Edible Arrangements Disproves Central Tenets Of Capitalism" sounds like a lovely Onion article.

"Why would anyone buy loving fruit on a stick for someone else" claimed one researcher. "I mean who wants fruit for a present??" At press time, the researchers were still attempting to find someone to eat the hard green melon pieces that might be honeydew.

Armacham posted:

ate all the Oreos posted:

"Study: Edible Arrangements Disproves Central Tenets Of Capitalism" sounds like a lovely Onion article.

"Why would anyone buy loving fruit on a stick for someone else" claimed one researcher. "I mean who wants fruit for a present??" At press time, the researchers were still attempting to find someone to eat the hard green melon pieces that might be honeydew.

ate all the Oreos posted:

"Study: Edible Arrangements Disproves Central Tenets Of Capitalism" sounds like a lovely Onion article.

Renegret posted:

Or so they claim.

If you can squeeze it like that by hand then it's just a bag of juice.