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Did I mention that when you're done with the bags you have to cut them open, scoop out the fiber, wash them, carefully pack them back in the box and then mail them back For recycling.
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Apr 20, 2017 16:47
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On the plus side, Edible Arrangements does smoothies for much less than $10.
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Apr 20, 2017 16:57
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BarbarianElephant posted:On the plus side, Edible Arrangements does smoothies for much less than $10. Can they make them bag-shaped though?
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Apr 20, 2017 16:57
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therobit posted:Look we have a great product that people are going to want. Stop being such a juice bag about it! woah why didn't anybody mention it's got  wifi I'm sold
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Apr 20, 2017 17:08
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Renegret posted:woah why didn't anybody mention it's got Not only that, it will not work if it's not connected.
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Apr 20, 2017 17:14
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If they don't spend too much money developing, marketing, or maintaining this product line, perhaps it could work like a Nigerian letter scam where you have selected the most gullible spendthrift customers who will just keep sending you money for add-ons and fixes and new features. Sorta like smartphones for morons but with none of the utility.
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Apr 20, 2017 17:20
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Vox Nihili posted:Oh man, /r/startups is a goldmine. From one of the comments in that thred quote:Your $50k wasn't a loss, it was an investment in yourself to learn these hard-won lessons. It's the best education you've ever paid for. Not sure lessons like "Don't partner with someone with no skin in the game" is really worth $50k when $50k is all of your savings.
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Apr 20, 2017 17:26
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Dogcow posted:I wanted to know what "rag money" referred to and it's an old timey version of buttcoiner's "fiat money!!!!!!", though of course that was actually a legit thing in 1875. Googling "rag money" however also resulted in getting an ad for the official BWM thread headwear: Benjamin Franklin had a paper manufacturing business that would buy rags from the poor and turn them into paper pulp. He literally turned rags to riches. 
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Apr 20, 2017 18:08
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FrozenVent posted:Not only that, it will not work if it's not connected. The literal first thing you have to do is open the app on your phone and have it scan a magic QR code your phone generates so it can connect to your wifi so it can verify the juice DRM Did I mention it has juice DRM, it has juice DRM
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Apr 20, 2017 18:42
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captkirk posted:From one of the comments in that thred I'm really confused how anyone gets these loving ideas about startups in their heads in the first place? All of those lessons learned are poo poo you can easily learn by not being a shithead
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Apr 20, 2017 18:57
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ate all the Oreos posted:The literal first thing you have to do is open the app on your phone and have it scan a magic QR code your phone generates so it can connect to your wifi so it can verify the juice DRM The whole thing sounds like a bad idea someone came up with on Two Dollar Shots night, and it came to life through a bunch of misunderstandings. "Wait, are you sure these are the new product specs? A WiFi DRM-locked juicer?" "...gently caress it, that sounds close enough."
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Apr 20, 2017 18:57
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BigDave posted:The whole thing sounds like a bad idea someone came up with on Two Dollar Shots night, and it came to life through a bunch of misunderstandings. According to one of the initial investors, the pitch meeting was just the creator and a 3D printed plastic model of the juicer, not even a prototype. This whole thing is like everything ridiculous about tech right now in one product and it went under the radar for a few months but now everyone's suddenly noticing it and laughing at it which is good.
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Apr 20, 2017 19:05
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ate all the Oreos posted:The literal first thing you have to do is open the app on your phone and have it scan a magic QR code your phone generates so it can connect to your wifi so it can verify the juice DRM This is a performance art project.
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Apr 20, 2017 19:06
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Krispy Kareem posted:I thought I read somewhere that they're trying to cut prices. Sprouts does have some overpriced stuff, but they've consistently got fantastic prices on their sale stuff. They've always got a few types of fruit and veggies really cheap, that probably gets a ton of people in the door. They also have a good selection of gluten free stuff if you need/want/think you need it. I always go to Sprouts when I need fruit or vegetables, they even beat Costco prices.
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Apr 20, 2017 19:09
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Nocturtle posted:This is a performance art project. I don't think this video was posted in this thread so if you want to see some tim-and-eric-but-serious poo poo have a watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-i0UugILBJg
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Apr 20, 2017 19:10
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ate all the Oreos posted:I don't think this video was posted in this thread so if you want to see some tim-and-eric-but-serious poo poo have a watch: Guillotine.
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Apr 20, 2017 19:21
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An app and wifi needed to push a loving button 
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Apr 20, 2017 19:23
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BraveUlysses posted:I'm really confused how anyone gets these loving ideas about startups in their heads in the first place? All of those lessons learned are poo poo you can easily learn by not being a shithead There's a whole lot of shitheads out there
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Apr 20, 2017 19:25
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BraveUlysses posted:An app and wifi needed to push a loving button An app and wifi and drm needed to
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Apr 20, 2017 20:21
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ate all the Oreos posted:Because it's literally a plastic bag with fruit and vegetable bits sealed inside, that is squeezed into juice by the machine. You got all that from one bag of oranges?! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk
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Apr 20, 2017 20:27
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It sounds ridiculous until you remember Keurig got a 100 million dollar investment from Coca-Cola to build and sell it's Keurig Kold product that was twice the size of this juicer and probably twice as loud. Like they expected you to spend 8 minutes brewing 4 glasses of sugar water for your guests. And then there are those tortilla pods.
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Apr 20, 2017 20:39
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Our work just shifted us over to a new 457(b) provider recently. One of the old options was to open a brokerage account that let you invest in individual stocks or any mutual fund you wanted outside of the 30 or so offered. This option cost an additional $75 per year. - Our HR department just had to have a huge meeting with a former employee because he elected to cash out his plan when notified about the changeover. - He was very upset and thought that our employer (a government agency) had been stealing from him. - He brought in his old paystubs to show his cumulative contributions to the 457(b) over his 18 years of employment. - He had contributed roughly $42,000 over 18 years. - His payout was roughly $39,000. - The market has obviously grown dramatically over the past 18 years, so he should have had much more. Our employer must have been embezzling from him. - It turns out that he elected to pick his own stocks, enrolled in the plan, never made elections for his contributions, and thought that the "Market Settlement Fund Balance" was his balance invested in the stock market. - He knows that the stock market has gone up significantly, so there is no way he could be getting less money than he put in. He had been paying $75 a year (plus some small account maintenance fee) to park his money in a settlement account and never knew/checked/did anything about it. Every year, he got a statement and signed a consent form acknowledging that he read it and understood. I felt insanely bad for him, but he has a good pension and kind of did it to himself. Leon Trotsky 2012 fucked around with this message at 20:43 on Apr 20, 2017 |
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Apr 20, 2017 20:40
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So, is joke juice device like the Millenial version of the Jimmy Buffet Margaritaville margarita machine? The distillation of everything wrong with the generation that created it? The loving ad even has your typical le reddit unboxing shot for gently caress's sake. I'm so triggered right now.
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Apr 20, 2017 20:47
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Reminds me of this Onion video about paper towels: https://youtu.be/o7TseW0ikGo
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Apr 20, 2017 21:36
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legendof posted:BWM: buying a $400 machine to squeeze juice of a proprietary, QR code-locked bag you can only buy through a subscription service you're only eligible for after buying the $400 bag-squeezer. But don't worry, the machine used to be $700 so it's a great deal! Especially when there's something just like it, but with the ability to use your own produce instead of paying the same price per serving as you would at a juice bar: http://www.juisir.com/home Krispy Kareem posted:It sounds ridiculous until you remember Keurig got a 100 million dollar investment from Coca-Cola to build and sell it's Keurig Kold product that was twice the size of this juicer and probably twice as loud. Like they expected you to spend 8 minutes brewing 4 glasses of sugar water for your guests. Seems like Coca-Cola could have saved themselves $100 million and packaged their syrup for SodaStream.
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Apr 20, 2017 22:13
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"The Press needs to be connected to Wi-Fi to make juice. Let's get it connected." I don't want the internet touching my juice. Where did we go wrong?
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Apr 20, 2017 22:39
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Renegret posted:Or so they claim. It's a slurry.  Sure, when you remove the pulp from this a week later it is totally 'fresh squeezed'.
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Apr 20, 2017 22:58
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Maybe global warming is a good thing.
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Apr 20, 2017 23:04
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I'm so thirsty but my phone is dead. Somebody help.
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Apr 20, 2017 23:10
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Teeter posted:I'm so thirsty but my phone is dead. Somebody help. I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that. The wifi is down.
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Apr 20, 2017 23:18
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This means Juiceru thought their product would be so successful that there would be knock off juice bags. They thought they'd be the Sony of Juice.
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Apr 20, 2017 23:25
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Countdown till those bags are up for sale at Aldi for 1.99 a pack....
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Apr 20, 2017 23:58
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A little less juice, a little more Juche, as I like to say.
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Apr 21, 2017 00:04
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Whoever came up with the concept that juicing poo poo is somehow a super-healthy panacea that unlocks hidden nutrients and turns normal boring foods into perfect fuel for your body needs a marketing award and then a swift guillotining, because between this and the nutri-ninja et al. hundreds of thousands of doughy white people with more dollars than sense are celebrating the removal of all fibrous texture from foods which reduce them to something with the same sugar content as soft drink, equivalent to drinking a coke and a Vitamin C pill.
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Apr 21, 2017 00:11
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Breetai posted:Whoever came up with the concept that juicing poo poo is somehow a super-healthy panacea that unlocks hidden nutrients and turns normal boring foods into perfect fuel for your body needs a marketing award and then a swift guillotining, because between this and the nutri-ninja et al. hundreds of thousands of doughy white people with more dollars than sense are celebrating the removal of all fibrous texture from foods which reduce them to something with the same sugar content as soft drink, equivalent to drinking a coke and a Vitamin C pill. Chewing is hard. 
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Apr 21, 2017 00:13
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Mercury Ballistic posted:Countdown till those bags are up for sale at Aldi for 1.99 a pack.... Naah, Grocery Outlet for 99 cents a pack.
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Apr 21, 2017 00:31
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Dogcow posted:I wanted to know what "rag money" referred to and it's an old timey version of buttcoiner's "fiat money!!!!!!", though of course that was actually a legit thing in 1875. Googling "rag money" however also resulted in getting an ad for the official BWM thread headwear: Ironically, U.S. dollars were on a very firm gold standard in 1875. The problem was that all currency was issued by individual banks*. The actual bills were issued by individual banks up until the 1930s. If a local bank went bust, so did (possibly) the money in your pocket. This got a lot better post-civil-war, because they forced banks to keep some fraction of their issued currency in federal reserve bonds, but it was a long way from being 100% solid. Same with the "credit system." They're not talking about soliciting Dunn and Bradstreet numbers, or accepting Diner's Club International cards. They're talking about letting customers run up tabs and pay them down, or just straight up pay in IOUs. (In the 18th and 19th centuries, it wasn't uncommon to sign over 3rd party checks and 3rd party IOUs to pay for consumer goods!) -- * this is still kinda/sorta true if you think about it. When you put your dollars into a checking account, you are exchanging real dollars issued by the federal reserve for bank-denominated dollars, which could lose all of their value in the event the bank goes bust. What's changed is 1.) your deposits are insured up to a certain amount and 2.) even if you lose your checking account, at least the cash in your pocket is still valid. Notorious b.s.d. fucked around with this message at 00:38 on Apr 21, 2017 |
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Apr 21, 2017 00:36
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Notorious b.s.d. posted:Ironically, U.S. dollars were on a very firm gold standard in 1875. The problem was that all currency was issued by individual banks*. Right, absent the advent of the Fed it was legit a bad idea to trust the fiat of Flapjack & Jojo's Goodtime Funbank & Trust in the 19th century.
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Apr 21, 2017 00:48
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Hello I am a typical American, average in every way with no particular skills or abilities aside from being really good at eating. How can I treat all my ailments that are a result of eating too much by eating something?
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Apr 21, 2017 01:50
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ate all the Oreos posted:I don't think this video was posted in this thread so if you want to see some tim-and-eric-but-serious poo poo have a watch: Why does it need WiFi? WHY DOES IT NEED AN APP? 
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Apr 21, 2017 01:54
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