Pvt.Scott posted:

It's a joke, and mortifying teenagers is always a net good.

quote:

Long story short, I had my eye on this girl for awhile and asked a friend of hers to put in a good word for me. We went out on our first date and I suddenly discovered that she was extremely religious, as in spending half of the date talking about how i can get closer to god and poo poo.

I was never really religious in the first place and I humoured her on it, but I was happy with being unaffiliated in the past. Other than that, she is a great girl (a bit quiet, but I am too) but I don't want to get roped into this. At the same time, her family is pretty serious about it and I don't want to outright deter what they take pride in.

tl;dr -Friend hooks me up with a girl at my request but never mentioned she was very religious.

Any ideas on how to make this work without making us change for each other?

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Danaru posted:

[22/m]I got set up with a mormon [23/f]by a friend


Dude you had one date, just go "It's not working out" and bail, why would you try to make this work

Bubblyblubber posted:

Owned by a child yet again, will r/relationships wonders never cease?

I [34M] inadvertently cause my nephew [13M] to catcall a woman at a school function. Wife [33F] of 13 years is pissed. Everybody's pissed. I'm an idiot. Relationships

YeahTubaMike posted:

why did he think even for one second that this would be appropriate

Bubblyblubber posted:

Owned by a child yet again, will r/relationships wonders never cease?

I [34M] inadvertently cause my nephew [13M] to catcall a woman at a school function. Wife [33F] of 13 years is pissed. Everybody's pissed. I'm an idiot. Relationships

YeahTubaMike posted:

why did he think even for one second that this would be appropriate

sout posted:

Goddamn. I'm just imagining one of my uncles saying "how'd you like to see those funbags?" to me. What a loving weird sentence.

YeahTubaMike posted:

why did he think even for one second that this would be appropriate

YeahTubaMike posted:

why did he think even for one second that this would be appropriate

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

*mirthless voice* Sharing in-jokes at the expense of outsiders is a fast way to build in-group solidarity. In this case, the dad is trying to bridge a troubled relationship by drawing attention to some stonkin' great titties. "How'd you like to see those funbags?" Is probably how HIS dad expressed it to him, and even though consciously he knows what he's doing is wrong, he finds himself in the position of Dudejoke Arbiter, where he can hand down ancestral misogyny to the next generation.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

*mirthless voice* Sharing in-jokes at the expense of outsiders is a fast way to build in-group solidarity. In this case, the dad is trying to bridge a troubled relationship by drawing attention to some stonkin' great titties. "How'd you like to see those funbags?" Is probably how HIS dad expressed it to him, and even though consciously he knows what he's doing is wrong, he finds himself in the position of Dudejoke Arbiter, where he can hand down ancestral misogyny to the next generation.

WoodrowSkillson posted:

he clearly states he is an idiot

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

*mirthless voice* Sharing in-jokes at the expense of outsiders is a fast way to build in-group solidarity. In this case, the dad is trying to bridge a troubled relationship by drawing attention to some stonkin' great titties. "How'd you like to see those funbags?" Is probably how HIS dad expressed it to him, and even though consciously he knows what he's doing is wrong, he finds himself in the position of Dudejoke Arbiter, where he can hand down ancestral misogyny to the next generation.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

i say this because it happened to me. as a young lad my crazy uncle took me to strip clubs and taught me how to drive stick after he got tanked on ale and crabcakes. he worked as a government spy for the IRS and used to tell war stories to the strippers he'd pick up. eventually my dad, who was a pro weight lifter until he hernia'd so bad all his insides fell out, caught wind of how many strippers had given 15 year old me handies and punched my uncle so bad his face caved in like a november pumpkin.

there are a lot of reasons to not ever have kids, basically.

edit- i lied about my age to my uncle and the strippers, which worked out because i had the beard of a grizzled pershmerga hardass by 14. photos of me from the age look like i taped a racist wig to my neck

YeahTubaMike posted:

touche




i'm really glad that my cool uncle only did things like let me watch ECW and listen to gangsta rap and play video games

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

*mirthless voice* Sharing in-jokes at the expense of outsiders is a fast way to build in-group solidarity. In this case, the dad is trying to bridge a troubled relationship by drawing attention to some stonkin' great titties. "How'd you like to see those funbags?" Is probably how HIS dad expressed it to him, and even though consciously he knows what he's doing is wrong, he finds himself in the position of Dudejoke Arbiter, where he can hand down ancestral misogyny to the next generation.

YeahTubaMike posted:

he's my favorite uncle

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

i say this because it happened to me. as a young lad my crazy uncle took me to strip clubs and taught me how to drive stick after he got tanked on ale and crabcakes. he worked as a government spy for the IRS and used to tell war stories to the strippers he'd pick up. eventually my dad, who was a pro weight lifter until he hernia'd so bad all his insides fell out, caught wind of how many strippers had given 15 year old me handies and punched my uncle so bad his face caved in like a november pumpkin.

there are a lot of reasons to not ever have kids, basically.

edit- i lied about my age to my uncle and the strippers, which worked out because i had the beard of a grizzled pershmerga hardass by 14. photos of me from the age look like i taped a racist wig to my neck

WoodrowSkillson posted:

Who is his favorite old school ECW wrestler though this is important

YeahTubaMike posted:

i am not sure who his favorite one was, but he was definitely partial to new jack and the dudley boyz

quote:

My hands are shaking, so sorry if there are typos. I don't know if I'll be able to explain what just happened. I'm in a hotel room right now, just falling apart.

I live with my boyfriend, Jack. We've been together two years. The relationship has been good. Sex is frequent, we say "I love you" often, and both of us participate in the other's family functions. I don't have any major complaints, and to my knowledge he hasn't been unhappy. I am deeply in love with him.

I came home today about an hour early. I had started to get a migraine at work, which isn't super unusual, and once I started to get nauseated I decided I should just go home and lie down. It doesn't happen a ton, but maybe a few times a year where I decide to take the afternoon off. My boyfriend works nights so is often home during the day.

Pulled in the driveway and his car was there. Not unusual, he doesn't work until the evening. Parked on the street out front like I always do (you can't really hear the car from that distance unless you're really listening) and went in the apartment. The bedroom is on the far side of the apartment from where I came in, so you usually can't hear a key in the lock or anything, especially with the air conditioning on (it was).

I said hello as I came in, but could immediately here that the air conditioning on in the bedroom (it's a separate window unit, and pretty loud). I open the door to say hello to Jack, and there he is, right in the middle of having sex with a girl doggy-style. They both froze, and she looked really shocked. He was just sort of expressionless. She immediately sort of scrambled for the sheets, but he just sat there.

I guess I was in shock, because I actually walked in the bedroom where they were and got my suitcase from under the bed. I even said "excuse me" to the girl loving my boyfriend. I went to my closet and threw a bunch of clothes in the case, and all the while he's constantly talking. I can't remember everything he said, but I distinctly heard him say "I wanted to surprise you, we've wanted to spice things up in the bedroom". I didn't say anything and left and came to this hotel.

We've discussed having a threesome in the past, and I even said I would possibly be open to it at some point in the future. I told him I found the idea exciting, but that we would need to discuss things and find the right person if it was actually going to happen. I never wanted him to just "surprise" me out of the blue.

He's been blowing up my phone ever since. He's left several voicemails, and sent about a dozen texts. He said things didn't go like he imagined, but he thought it would be sexy to have a spontaneous threesome. He said he was "trying to fulfill my fantasy".

I've been crying for the last three hours. I have no idea what to think at this point. I think he's lying to me, but what if he really thought he was doing what I wanted? Is it possible he's just that clueless? Please please help.

────────

tl;dr: "Caught" my boyfriend in our bed with another woman. He claims he was trying to surprise me with a threesome...I think he's lying.

quote:

Firstly, thank you all for your comments and advice. My gut knew that I had to end the relationship, but I needed a kick in the pants to actually do it.

The apartment we live in is actually owned by my uncle, with whom I am very close. I live there for free while attending grad school (it is part of a building he owns, and was his way of helping me afford to further my education). He had no problem with my boyfriend also living there, on the condition that he help out with managerial duties and repairs around the building. I called my uncle and told him the circumstances, and he called Jack and told him he needs to find a new place to live. He's not on a lease or anything, so hopefully it won't be a legal issue.

I haven't responded to Jack in any way since yesterday. I returned to the apartment this afternoon (after going to the Dr. to get tested for STDs...thankfully clear so far). Jack was there. Since he spoke with my uncle, he knew that I was breaking up with him and wanted him out. He immediately tried to argue with me, saying once again that the whole thing had been intended as a gift for me! I just ignored him as I went around the place packing his things.

He also said that the only reason he started without me was that he wanted to get used to the two of them together, so things wouldn't be "awkward" when I arrived. Apparently he thought having sex with her first would make the threesome "go smoother". I didn't even look at him, just kept packing. I'm proud of myself that I didn't cry. I think I was past the point of crying?

He kept blabbering on, saying that he just wanted to "test the waters" with the other person so that when the time came they could both focus totally on me. The final straw was when he said that I was being "totally unreasonable and ungrateful for the effort he was putting into our sexual relationship". I stared at him for a minute, and then I just started laughing. I couldn't control it. I must have laughed hysterically for a full minute. He got angry but finally shut up and stopped trying to justify himself.

I asked for his key, and then told him to leave. I said that he could call to arrange a time to come pick up all his things, but not to contact me for any other reason. His parents live in the same city, so I know he has somewhere to stay. He left, looking pretty forlorn.

I didn't ask how long he'd been cheating on me. Just knowing about the one incident was enough. He's obviously not the person I thought he was. I don't feel like I even know him anymore.

I'm still sad, but I'm going to be okay. There's no way I could keep someone like that in my life.

Thanks again for all the encouragement and motivation to end it for good. I knew the truth in my heart, but I needed to know I wasn't crazy.

────────

tl;dr: He's delusional. Dumped him.

Tiny Deer posted:

Place your speculative and uncollectible bets: is he lying, or is he just that loving dumb?

(He's still dumb if it's a lie but the idea he was earnestly plowing away at another woman while thinking 'my girlfriend is going to love this' just delights the funny bone.)

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

The guy [22M] I've [22F] been seeing for a few months said something very insensitive about my former boyfriend who passed away.

u/RagnarokKid

Quick backstory:

My boyfriend of four years passed away very suddenly in July of 2016. He was shot while trying to break up an argument. Grieving him has been immensely difficult for me but I immediately sought therapy and have been doing my very best to work through the grief in a healthy way. I know he wouldn't want me to let this destroy me.

Onto January of this year, I met a nice guy in one of my classes. We hit it off and although I was very hesitant to get back into dating, we started seeing one another in February. I was very open with him about losing my former boyfriend and told him I would be unable to simply jump into another relationship. He has been very understanding and respectful of my boundaries. The relationship has been slow moving, but it's exactly what I need.

About a week ago, while on our way home from a date, he said something incredibly insensitive to me and I'm unsure if I can get past it.

He was driving me home and asked if he could speak openly about something and I said sure, go ahead. He proceeded to tell me: "you know, you're actually pretty lucky that your boyfriend died"

I literally had no idea what to say back to this. I just said "what?" He proceeded to explain that it must be easier for me, with my boyfriend being dead, since he has to "deal with his ex walking around and doing whatever she wants" ???????? And I "don't have to deal with that"

I was so taken aback. Honestly, it felt like he'd punched me in the stomach. Losing my boyfriend was the absolute worst thing to ever happen in my life. I couldn't seem to form a decent response because I was so shocked, I only said "well you're wrong and I have no idea why you would say that"

He then proceeded to tell me that I was simply better off and I have no idea what the burden of dealing with an ex is like.

He dropped me off and I didn't talk to him for a few days. I'll admit, that's childish, but I seriously couldn't wrap my head around what he'd said to me. Seriously, who would said such an insensitive thing?

I don't think I can see him anymore and I'm not certain how to tell him why. Part of me wants to completely fly off the handle and tear him a new one but I know that's not the best way to go about it. Am I wrong in thinking this is a deal breaker?

TL;DR: New guy I've been seeing told me I'm lucky that my former boyfriend died. How do I explain why I no longer want to see him?

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

i say this because it happened to me. as a young lad my crazy uncle took me to strip clubs and taught me how to drive stick after he got tanked on ale and crabcakes. he worked as a government spy for the IRS and used to tell war stories to the strippers he'd pick up. eventually my dad, who was a pro weight lifter until he hernia'd so bad all his insides fell out, caught wind of how many strippers had given 15 year old me handies and punched my uncle so bad his face caved in like a november pumpkin.

there are a lot of reasons to not ever have kids, basically.

edit- i lied about my age to my uncle and the strippers, which worked out because i had the beard of a grizzled pershmerga hardass by 14. photos of me from the age look like i taped a racist wig to my neck

Yawgmoth posted:

You know, I am always leery of the phrase "no one is that dumb" because human stupidity is a bottomless well, but come the gently caress on no one is really that stupid.

Tiny Deer posted:

My [27] boyfriend [28] slept with another woman and claims I wanted him to

quote:

2 points 5 comments submitted 7 months ago by nebbiron856jh to r/relationships

I've been with my girlfriend Alice for 8 years now. She told me a week ago she wants to be a Zara Larsson impersonator.

Me and Alice have lived together for the past 3 years now (she moved into my place, not the other way round).

We have similar sorts of attitudes and personalities, and friends jokingly call us the power couple (wth??)

She does have a good singing voice, she used to be in an all-girl rock band when she was a student, I met her in 2008 when I was 18 and a uni student.

Anyway, my concern is about her side job plan, she wants to be a Zara Larsson impersonator (she claims it's not a common thing, said it'll get her extra money) for fun and side profit.

I am concerned about it, maybe not for reasons you think (jealousy) but how she'll manage this, will I need to be her manager? She's never had to be self-employed before, and also, she's autistic as well (well, high-functioning autism or Asperger's, I can't quite remember which, but she told me anyway when I met her) and as much as I want to be supportive, I'm having worries.

She has a day job, as a traffic warden, which satisfies her obsession with cars and city streets (we live in one of the Home Counties) within what our welfare system allows on work hours and disability (sorry to be so formal here.... this is legit work, btw).

My worry is that she doesn't quite fully understand the full ins and outs of being an impersonator; granted, she's got a great voice but she's never performed in public much after the rock band thing (Christmas dinners don't really count, yes, she did Style, the Taylor Swift one, over Xmas dinner last year when she was over on Christmas Day at my family's house) and issues regarding legality, money etc. She's only ever performed in a student bar, and one student bar, the band she was in was a sort of Girls Aloud with a rockstar edge type band, and she hasn't performed since then.

We live together, and she's good at the basics of living together, financials etc. and we have similar personalities, but we're having sexual issues; she isn't asexual, but is obsessive over it to the point of wanting it with me every night even when I'm not up to it (she has actually openly said that she's not into other guys if I wasn't sexually available, and hates threesomes with a passion).

Does anyone here know much about the impersonator thing, what it's like etc. without getting too much into AMA territory.

My girlfriend isn't immature for her age (if anything, she acts as if she's a decade older) despite the autism spectrum disorders (I know there's stereotypes etc. of people being immature) and she's fairly sensible.

I do have a demanding job, I'm a Mercedes-Benz/Volvo/Lexus/Vauxhall salesman (in one showroom selling 4 brands) and it takes some mental gymnastics to use the right on-brand persona when selling new cars. I'm a high-ranking salesman but not a manager, been in car sales since I was 21.

I need advice on how to deal with my girlfriend's plan, she wants help but I have told her i don't know how and I'll ask around so I've come here for help.

Throwaway/privacy/ninja edit account for my own privacy.

I know some people may say "troll post", whatever, but this is genuine, and it involves someone who's legally classified as a "vulnerable adult" (blame our government and benefits system for that... but Amber Rudd could change that!)

Any more questions just ask.

tl;dr: My girlfriend wants to be a pop star impersonator and i have worries.

Bubblyblubber posted:

Maybe she's just really hard to get gifts for? It's all "these shoes don't fit", "I don't like this color", "why are you loving a potential threesome candidate without me or letting me know beforehand?" like jfc get a grip Susan.

Buried lede ahoy!

I [30M] concerned over girlfriend [25F]'s plan to be pop star impersonator as side job; am I supportive enough? Relationships

Bubblyblubber posted:

Owned by a child yet again, will r/relationships wonders never cease?

I [34M] inadvertently cause my nephew [13M] to catcall a woman at a school function. Wife [33F] of 13 years is pissed. Everybody's pissed. I'm an idiot. Relationships

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

The math here is bizarre because he's lying about their ages (or the whole story is a lie)

MF_James posted:

Yeah I'm confused, so he met her when he was 18 and she was.... 13......

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

That and he was 12 years younger 9 years ago