Beachcomber posted:

(HS friends kid), opening his peeps in his Easter basket: "What are these called? Sparkly chicken cakes?"

Beachcomber posted:

Look! It's Wolverine! He's crazy. He just kills people!

Bertrand Hustle posted:

PYF poo poo kids say: her head look like a fat

Huzzah! posted:

https://twitter.com/atticanibal/status/855275978305568769

sneakyfrog posted:

PXJ800 posted:

"Dad, can we print something?" — my 5 and 8 year old girls, giggling hysterically
"Yeah, go ahead"

A minute later I am proudly presented with this:

PXJ800 posted:

"Dad, can we print something?" — my 5 and 8 year old girls, giggling hysterically
"Yeah, go ahead"

A minute later I am proudly presented with this:

quote:

The cat festival

Cat is a king of the home. Every year, on November 6, every cat’s servants will celebrate the holiday of cat. Servants are expected to buy their king a gift. Then, you can get a right to “suck” your king. But you may get a lot of scars. In the evening, people will carry himself king together. Let them play with other kings. That’s very solemn, all right?

quote:

Some people are good at sports, while others may be good at music. Fleta gets good grade on test, [other teacher] gets good skill on bed.

PXJ800 posted:

"Dad, can we print something?" — my 5 and 8 year old girls, giggling hysterically
"Yeah, go ahead"

A minute later I am proudly presented with this:

divabot posted:

showed this to my near-10yo and she laughed like a drain and thought it was the most hilarious thing she'd seen yesterday

Nostradingus posted:

How does one laugh like a drain?

Nostradingus posted:

How does one laugh like a drain?

Beachcomber posted:

(HS friends kid), opening his peeps in his Easter basket: "What are these called? Sparkly chicken cakes?"

quote:

‘Hate Has No Home Here’

I read, with great interest, Mr. John Natale’s colossal misunderstanding of the “Hate Has No Home Here” signs. Natale’s first mistake was claiming the signs read, “Hate has no place in this home.” Mr. Natale is incorrectly assuming that the owners of the sign are finding it necessary to state that there is no hate in their home. But, as the American flag depicted on the sign signifies, the posters are referencing the entire U.S.A., a country that does not tolerate hate in spite of its current leadership. Those people who have chosen to place a “Hate Has No Home Here” sign on their lawn are standing behind their belief that the country should be free of hate.

Mr. Natale also lists questions that have remained unanswered, so it is my duty to define his burning inquiries:

1. Question: “Who are the haters that you, the sign owner, are referring to?” Answer: Bigots who are trying to take away protections for transgender students, deport refugees and build a very expensive wall to keep illegal immigrants out (which is completely pointless and not helping your cause, but I digress).

2. Question: “What, or whom, do the haters hate?” Answer: Perfectly innocent human beings who happen to be different from the haters.

3. Question: “What is the evidence that there is significant hate in our community?” Answer: Me getting called homosexual slurs by students and adults alike.

4. Question: “Obviously, you are so morally superior that you may declare everyone who disagrees with you a hater (side note: this first part is a statement, not a question). Where, when, and how did you become the Lord High Decider of Morality?” Answer: Never. We just put a lawn sign down. Calm down, dude.

As I stated previously, the signs are not talking exclusively about Winchester. The signs are about the whole United States. They also aren’t implying you are a hater if you disagree; where did you get that idea? Also, Mr. Natale, if you’re going to ask us to do you a favor and take the signs down, do humanity a favor and take your Trump signs down. Finally, if you are going to say signs exhibit “snowflake sensitivity,” take a moment to think about how you are writing an angry letter to a newspaper about a lawn sign.

— Luke Macannuco, seventh-grader, Brookside Avenue

Alligator Pie posted:

I work in a call center which schedules medical appointments for children. On Friday, a Mom called in regards to her son's appointment, and she told me his name so I could look him up.

As I did, this little voice piped up in the background, "Yup, that's me! Andy* with an 'A!' I'm sitting here right next to my Mom and here I am!" and he just kept rambling on about how he was right there too.

It made my day.

*Obviously not his real name.

Another time, a kid who sounded about five or six answered the phone, and as I'm trying to explain where I'm calling from and that I need to speak to his parents, he says, "I'm not sure what you're looking to do, here." I had to hold in my laughter and ask to speak to his Mom or Dad. When he finally handed over the phone, Mom explained that he loves to answer it so they sic him on telemarketers or any unknown callers.

MisterBibs posted:

We had a brief conversation so that I wasn't a stranger and she warmed up to me

Kevyn posted:

Ah yes, the Pennywise method.

MisterBibs posted:

New kid where I work:

Me: Hi there! What's your name?
Girl: (whispering) I can't tell you.
Me: Awww. Why's that?
Girl: (with actual venom) because you're a stranger.

We had a brief conversation so that I wasn't a stranger and she warmed up to me, but I about lost my poo poo when she was escorted away, because (as my parents are wont to tell anyone and everyone), I once refused to talk to a friend of theirs because - wait for it - he was a stranger, and you do not talk to strangers.

U-DO Burger posted:

Then she got out a small drum and flipped it upside down so it was like a bowl. "Okay, now it's time to boil all of the bad mice." The kids put a bunch of socks into the drum, and after a few moments they started taking them out. "Remember to peel off their skin so we can eat the meat." Soon they were feasting on their socks boiled bad mice.