2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > 2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

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Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Mustang posted:

The only reason I like wearing a stetson is because it gets me out of wearing a beret, the worst hat ever invented. Nobody has any business wearing a beret unless it's green.

I drank all of the punch out of mine and ate the fruit chunks and it was fun

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:22

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# ? May 12, 2024 02:15

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Nostalgia4Murder posted:

gently caress cav fite me.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:35

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

Jump boots with ASUs is goofy. "No, my badge isn't good enough, I must peacock even more about it!"

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:36

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

mlmp08 posted:

Jump boots with ASUs is goofy. "No, my badge isn't good enough, I must peacock even more about it!"

That poo poo is atrocious but ~Airborne~

and you have to buy leather jump boots ahaha, gotta gently caress over the soldiers for tradition

tankers should get to wear the old tanker boots in ASU's why not

I think chem should also have gotten allowed to wear the rubber MOPP suit boots too

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:39

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

I'm outside right now and the only thing on my head is hair so smdftb

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:41

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

TBeats posted:

I'm outside right now and the only thing on my head is hair so smdftb

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:41

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

i'm not in the army, today is a good day.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:43

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

Me, years ago, calling my spouse "I'll be home late cause I'm doing evaluations in the field all day and evening. Why? Guy who was supposed to do it got drunk as hell last night and lost his cap, so he can't go outside."

Her: "the Army is so dumb."

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:46

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

TBeats posted:

I'm outside right now and the only thing on my head is hair so smdftb

Mike-o posted:

i'm not in the army, today is a good day.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:58

Flying_Crab: Apr 12, 2002

mlmp08 posted:

Berets suck so much that the bus driver hat is better.

I never understood why everyone hates on the service cap so much, let everyone who isn't airborne/ranger/SF/cav weirdos wear it. The ASUs are a pretty decent looking dress uniform with some minor changes, particularly the belt that The Old Guard wears with the service cap:

Jump boots are dumb, let them have their wings and beret.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 19:38

A Bad Poster: Sep 25, 2006; Seriously, shut the fuck up.

I bought a set of jump boots when I was in an airborne unit. Never even wore them.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 19:59

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

A Bad Poster posted:

I bought a set of jump boots when I was in an airborne unit, wore them for class a inspections.

When we had a change of command we were in bdu's and jungle boots.

Syrian Lannister fucked around with this message at 20:54 on Apr 21, 2017

# ? Apr 21, 2017 20:20

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

The only person that ever made a stetson look remotely ~~cool~~not completely loving retarded and shameful without going back to like 1800s or something is Robert Duvall

What did you just say?!?!

Duvall was so cool in this.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 20:53

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

thats exactly what i said

# ? Apr 21, 2017 20:57

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

thats exactly what i said

And it was correct.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 20:56

all apologies: May 13, 2008; woah

flight medic was in and out no re up thanks for the training bois

# ? Apr 21, 2017 20:59

Triggs: Nov 23, 2005; Tango Down!

Tales from staff: So today I was sitting in the division planning session for WEEEEEEEEEEEEK OF THE EAGLES and I started cracking up when everyone started talking about funding for trophies when Congress doesn't pass a budget

Best part was when one of the lead planners seriously asked if we had a monetary limit. Dude, you didn't think of that?

# ? Apr 22, 2017 01:56

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

Lets just have soldiers voluntarily (mandatory) donate $20 each for trophies!!!!!!!!!!!!!

# ? Apr 22, 2017 02:35

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

please tell me that was suggested

# ? Apr 22, 2017 02:36

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

oh you know it was.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 02:37

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

hey which battalion in 232 med had people making GBS threads and pissing themselves while waiting for the 4/21 urinalysis

# ? Apr 22, 2017 02:46

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

My buddy and I were the only ones that never did the voluntary (mandatory) charity allotments. Every time we would end up in a room with the First Sergeant and CO and just be like "IG..." and they would leave us alone.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 09:39

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Ok what's with the dorky yellow scarf the cav guys are wearing? A year in Worst Cav and I never noticed one. The morons in ceremonial gear on horses probably had one on but I refused to look at them when they started complaining about not having sharpened sabers.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 14:37

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

It means you like to be peed on

# ? Apr 22, 2017 14:54

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

hey which battalion in 232 med had people making GBS threads and pissing themselves while waiting for the 4/21 urinalysis

Haven't released it yet

quote:

Two years ago, U.S. Army WTF Moments! was a Facebook page with a relatively small but dedicated following, roughly poking fun at the Army one �WTF� at a time. Today, we�re a soldier and veteran-powered juggernaut, with more than million loyal followers between several different social media platforms, a website with hundreds of thousands of unique views a week, and an award-winning internet radio station. We gain thousands of followers each week without any signs of slowing.

So why are we telling you this?

We know YOU know � it�s your leadership we�re worried about, like Command Sgt. Maj. Jody Stanley of the 232nd Medical Battalion at Joint Base San Antonio-Fort Sam Houston, Texas. We�ll come back to her in a minute.

Once upon a time, we just posted things without confirmation, or took a sole source story and threw it up there just to see the world burn. We learned better ways, though, in an effort to serve you better. We now place journalistic standards on our material, requiring a minimum of two sources, and do our level best to independently verify information.

There are times, however, when we cannot get more than a single source. In those cases, we very carefully weigh the consequences of putting up a story under those conditions. In the times we simply cannot publish, particularly in circumstances involving bad behavior, we take another route. We reach out to leaders directly.

This brings us back to Command Sgt. Maj. Stanley. Late last week, we received a report from her battalion about a urinalysis gone horribly wrong. Our sole source, a noncommissioned officer, told a sordid tale of AIT platoon sergeants blocking off latrine use, resulting in cases of soldiers being forced to sit in the hallway and urinate on themselves. in one case, a male soldier was prevented from defecating before providing a sample � which subsequently led to the troop defecating on himself instead.

While the report details a textbook violation of TRADOC regulation 350-6 (Enlisted Initial Entry Training Policies and Administration), it�s also piss-poor treatment of the sons and daughters of America, and as such deserves a hard look from outside the company level.

USAWTFM staff weighed the report carefully. With nothing to back the story up � but no reason to NOT to believe it � we decided to reach out directly to Stanley, the battalion�s senior enlisted leader, to fix the problem. Our request was simple � find out what happened at the company level and reply to our note, acknowledging receipt. We�ve done this dozens of times before, frankly, with no issues.

As of tonight, Stanley has refused to reply, even after repeated requests. That�s unfortunate, because we�ve received a follow-up in our inbox intimating that the company is �handling it� with platoon sergeants �in an office somewhere.� I don�t know about you, but that doesn�t sound like the right leader reaction to making a troop poo poo themselves. Based on the follow-up and Stanley�s seeming lack of concern, we would appreciate our followers to head over to TRADOC�s Facebook page and express your own concerns over this lack of accountability.

If you�re a leader of any kind, print this out and put it on your wall� memorize it like a drill sergeant school module� or plebe knowledge from West Point. USAWTFM has the best interests of the Army and our soldiers at heart. We always have. Admins are both officers and enlisted, juniors and seniors. Our ranks have team leaders and sham shield-wearing specialists. We have instructors and students. We have commanders and sergeants major. In fact, you would be SHOCKED at some of the people actively involved in this enterprise.

With that in mind, ignore us at your own peril. If you see a message in your inbox with a heads-up on something lovely going on in your formation, look upon it as a gift and not a curse. If we ask for the courtesy of a reply, please provide one. We�re helping you, not hurting you.

Your PAOs may tell you to avoid us. Some may say embrace us. Take their advice as far as you want to � but remember, it�s not their name and face on our page.

It will be yours.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 15:28

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

i pissed on myself in OSUT once because we were in formation for like loving EVER and we were having to dirnk whole canteens in like like one gulp before and after each meal

# ? Apr 22, 2017 15:37

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

Have never poo poo or pissed myself as an adult but oh boy the Army has taken me right up to the brink a few times.

One of those times it resulted in a few of us woods making GBS threads when the woods were flooded and digging a cat hole was basically impossible. Some people very bad at land nav went way off course on a STX lane and high crawled through our poops later that day. At like 9 AM and couldn't change til drat near midnight.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 15:44

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Pissed myself on the 24 mile ruck at the end of infantry OSUT because I couldn't step off and piss really quick without falling behind. Didn't matter because I was drenched in sweat from head to toe anyway. It's surprisingly hard to take a piss while walking/jogging.

GiP piss party club.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 15:53

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

its cool how young pvts are all but encouraged to humiliate themselves and/or destroy their bladders because of ~reasons~

# ? Apr 22, 2017 15:54

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

Mike-o posted:

Pissed myself on the 24 mile ruck at the end of infantry OSUT because I couldn't step off and piss really quick without falling behind. Didn't matter because I was drenched in sweat from head to toe anyway. It's surprisingly hard to take a piss while walking/jogging.

GiP piss party club.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 16:48

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

quote this if you ever poo poo yourself on a pt run

# ? Apr 22, 2017 17:33

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

I got so nauseous from holding in Monster-induced diarrhea on a convoy from Casey to Yongsan that I vomited out the TC window of my humvee. I was the convoy commander :downs:

# ? Apr 22, 2017 17:33

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

I've used needing to poo poo as an excuse to fall out of runs.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 18:12

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

Yeah, only the worst moto boner dickhead is gonna raise a stink about not making GBS threads yourself.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 18:15

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

i think technically you have that backwards, my friend

# ? Apr 22, 2017 18:15

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

I've left some shits in the woods not too far off the hardball during runs

# ? Apr 22, 2017 18:18

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

The military: the only people with equally hosed up shits stories as cross country runners and nurses.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 18:42

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

gently caress, I ran cross country and then enlisted. I should have learned. :doh:

# ? Apr 22, 2017 19:14

TheAlphaChaser: May 12, 2013

As a convoy commander I pissed in a bottle on a long leg of the movement. While finishing up my driver slammed on the breaks getting piss all over, my clothes my kit, but worst of all my last headset. The smell was so wretched from my headset that when I was transmitting I vomited all over myself but had to keep using the piss and vomit covered headset gagging uncontrollably the rest of the movement any time I pushed.

Welp that's my piss and vomit story thanks for reading.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 19:37

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# ? May 12, 2024 02:15

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

bird food bathtub posted:

Ok what's with the dorky yellow scarf the cav guys are wearing? A year in Worst Cav and I never noticed one. The morons in ceremonial gear on horses probably had one on but I refused to look at them when they started complaining about not having sharpened sabers.

Why would anyone sharpen a saber? Historically they were not sharpened because they don't need to be. You're hitting people with them from a running horse.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 19:40

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > 2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

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