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I've been reading this and the truck thread since day one. 14", I agree that you need the gently caress out of Seattle. poo poo just isn't panning out for you there. You said you have a couple months left at your place, right? While you still have a roof over your head/base of operations, use that. Are there any day labourer places around you? Yeah, it's not full time but it would be some income to help keep your head above water, and I don't think it would affect your income assistance. It may also help you figure out what jobs etc you might want to start moving towards. Pick one car, ditch the other. Get your license back, get your car functional enough to be your escape pod for you, your tools, and your cat, and get the gently caress out of dodge.
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Apr 22, 2017 12:06
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Adiabatic posted:Get out of Seattle or I will mod challenge you. cursedshitbox posted:
Adiabatic posted:It wasn't advice Really, though, can we do anything with more "local" goons to physically move Dave and all his poo poo? We know where he is. If we know where he needs to be instead, can someone (or a relay team of someones) just put the entiretly of 14's existence into a U-Haul and transpose him there? No piecemeal fixing cars or trying to sell off stuff, no funding him for tickets or fuel, just a goon in a truck and a "come with me if you want to live"?
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Apr 22, 2017 14:59
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gets you a ride on the ol' gray dog.
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The Civic is an analogue to 14's life. Always in repair and never quite right even when times are good. He's given up on it just as he's given up on life right now. Do you guys really think he can't side step his way around its problems? It's merely that he's given up on trying to. A person won't change just because you tell them. They have to want it. He doesn't want to.
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Apr 22, 2017 15:45
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I wonder if a&e will do an intervention show that ends up in a field in Nebraska as rehab instead of some place in CA.
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Apr 22, 2017 15:46
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and never forget you can't simply leave substance/alcohol habit problems in one city just because you pick up and leave. dave isn't interested in day labor jobs, i offered him cash for working in my yard weeks ago and he never took me up on it
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Apr 22, 2017 15:47
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Reacon posted:A person won't change just because you tell them. They have to want it. He doesn't want to. Yup. The help has been offered, given, forced. It's been a series of bad choices in an epic well digging saga. There's still a rope out of the well, but he's damned determine to dig out of reach. InitialDave posted:Get over there and move him then. Adiabatic's already flown him half-way across the country. There's nothing keeping Dave from fixing the problems, he's just in a masturbatory "look how deep I am, I'm going deeper" mindset that is continuing to go downhill. To quote one of the obligatory bad-luck characters in a Joss Whedon show -- "There's always more down."
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Apr 22, 2017 15:49
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EVERYWHERE 
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InitialDave posted:Tell us when you do and which post is his response to it, I'm really not sure you can come up with anything that wouldn't just fit in with the rest of the thread anyway. I think we're both pretty emotionally charged with wanting to help Dave, and reacting according to that. We've just come to a point in here where the thread in the automotive subforum of a comedy forum has become less about cars or comedy and more about us watching a dude destroy his life slowly. That obviously cannot keep happening here. We have continued to let it happen because AI is a very close-knit community and we care about one another. I love that about AI, so we're going to help him insomuch as we will either get him back on track or quit looking in on the drama. Sitting here giving him an audience to revel in his misery is not helping. DICK DICER posted:I need long term storage for the civic. If I pay insurance on the bug, $70, it will make it to valentine. I'll take the expired suspended ID risk. It gets 25mpg right now. Rosie is taken care of. I want to get to Valentine and finish what I started. Once I'm on the road I can be trusted with funding. As long as I'm in seattle I cant. Open to suggestions in all seriousness as I'm dying out here. Dave, if you truly want help, you need to give us a plan and you need to take action to prove to us that whatever we do to help you isn't for naught. You know where you want to go and what you want to take, so let's see some initiative from you. If we do help you, we need proof. You've already told us you cannot be trusted while in Seattle, and you know you better than we know you, so tell us how to help you in a way that you will not subvert it. Receipts, screenshots, whatever. If you want to PM it to me or email it to me at AdiabaticSA@gmail.com instead of posting it in here, that's fine. If you don't come up with a plan that fully line-items exactly how you're going to get back on track, whatever that means to you, with dates on when you're going to do it, by May 21st, I'm denying you your audience. You may ask everyone in here for advice, and everyone please feel free to give him any advice you may think of. If you give us a plan by May 21st, and we agree it's the best course of action and do-able, we are then going to hold you to it. If you miss completing any part of the plan, I'm denying you your audience. AI, is this fair? Please give me your input.
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Apr 22, 2017 16:45
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I think "you have a month to make a plan that could work" is very reasonable.
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Apr 22, 2017 16:56
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Leperflesh posted:I think "you have a month to make a plan that could work" is very reasonable. Yep. It strikes a good balance.
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Apr 22, 2017 17:07
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Ultimately, despite the best intentions of kind-hearted people, you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themself.
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Apr 22, 2017 17:34
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spog posted:Ultimately, despite the best intentions of kind-hearted people, you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themself. It's not so much that Dave doesn't want to help himself, it's that he doesn't realize how terrible his decision-making process is, IMO. He seems unable to evaluate properly the consequences of the decisions he makes, and can't figure out how to get out of the mess he's in. He's been grasping at a lot of low-payoff shortcuts that have left him sequentially farther behind each time. He doesn't see them as one-in-a-million shots, he thinks they're safe options and the ticket out. It's like people who blow $20 a week in lottery tickets. If they simply saved that money, they'd be out of their financial hole in a fairly short time - but no, this week they're going to hit the big one and be set for life. You just watch. To me, that's the value of getting out of Seattle. Break all the old ties, break all the old shortcuts. Force himself to do it slow and steady until he catches on that that's how life really works.
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Apr 22, 2017 17:49
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BraveUlysses posted:and never forget you can't simply leave substance/alcohol habit problems in one city just because you pick up and leave. You offered right at the absolute peak of the worst of it and got lost in the shuffle because it was just gonna get funneled back into drugs. Not for lack of wanting. There's a lot to process here. I ask that you all let me put something together out of it. I've been sober a week now and I'm still in a state of confusion.
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Apr 22, 2017 17:52
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I can store tools and a box. I'm still finishing the shop so cars would be in the way while I work. I'm in Edmonds
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Apr 22, 2017 17:56
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This sounds like a fair offer and if it works out I am ready to help with whatever
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Apr 22, 2017 18:15
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I am on the wrong coast to offer much support in person but will do what I can to help implement a workable plan.
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Apr 22, 2017 18:22
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I don't see how leaving Seattle is going to help anything. Dave doesn't have a location problem, he's got an addiction. He's got some kind of social worker right now, too, right? Wouldn't it make more sense to just move to another part of Seattle away from the folks that enable him? It's not like moving to Buttfuck, Nowhere is going to make the dealers disappear. Plus the stress of ending of broke, jobless and a million miles from nowhere sounds like the kind of situation that would make someone wanna engage in their vices. I don't see why the current goon consensus is sell all your stuff --> finance a move. He's got at least a few months of Seattle rent if the stuff gets sold, plus no added moving costs and the logistics just get simpler. Dude needs help getting clean. Gotta use the momentum of the one week sober and goon enthusiasm to get into some kind of program or make a life change.
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Apr 22, 2017 18:23
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I don't think step 1 is leaving Seattle (without a plan), but the location and the ease he can score from sources he knows, is a big part of the addiction. He's said that himself I'm pretty sure.
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Apr 22, 2017 19:02
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I get that, but I also know people in Seattle who have never once interacted with a meth dealer. How much of it is a social circle thing? Like, my worry is that he'll move and after a few months/weeks what do you know, he finds the local guy.
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Apr 22, 2017 19:12
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I can also offer safe temporary storage for stuff in Seattle, and an extra set of hands for loading / moving / wrenching on things. Dave, super glad to hear you're a week sober. PM me if you want a phone number in Seattle for some support when you need it.
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Apr 22, 2017 19:14
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Ok, so I'm the guy that picked him up the other day. I wasn't going to post about it since I really just lurk here unless I can answer a question. I saw his post where he was wandering into the jungle and decided to keep an eye out for him while running errands. Thousand to one shot I saw him and asked if he wanted a ride home, grabbed him some food and made sure he got home safe. He didn't ask for any help or for me to buy him anything. I asked what the situation was with his cars and if he minded me checking out the beetle. I slapped some pads, a rotor and a caliper so he could move it around and not get towed. Also swapped an old battery I had for a used group 51 at the manufacturer and left that with his room mate. Your going to want to bleed the brake system again, the reservoir was dry and I only managed a half-assed bleed on the rears that I swapped. As an aside goddammit VW what a terrible place for a fluid reservoir. Maybe double check the lugs too since I was using a small wrench to do all this. Sorry to hear about the battery dude, don't be surprised if a lot of lovely stuff like that happens for a while. It isn't karma, it's part of getting sober. Your brain isn't going to be clear or functioning right for a few months at minimum. Try to do things slower and get used to dropping poo poo. I doubt anyone wants to hear it but here is my opinion, it sounds like you are already on top of some of this. Purge your poo poo and clean. Get on the right side of the law. Don't leave town until you have all your ducks in a row. It would be awesome if provable steps towards getting straight were rewarded with payed off tickets or something. Decide which car you want and sell the other. You mentioned trading your toolbox for an RV. Don't do this, RV's have a really bad rep around here and will get you in trouble with the police right quick. If you're going that route get a white e150 or express cargo and keep it sparkly clean inside and out. If you are going to do this sell both your cars.
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Apr 22, 2017 19:48
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Adiabatic posted:I think we're both pretty emotionally charged with wanting to help Dave, and reacting according to that. We've just come to a point in here where the thread in the automotive subforum of a comedy forum has become less about cars or comedy and more about us watching a dude destroy his life slowly. That obviously cannot keep happening here. We have continued to let it happen because AI is a very close-knit community and we care about one another. I love that about AI, so we're going to help him insomuch as we will either get him back on track or quit looking in on the drama. Sitting here giving him an audience to revel in his misery is not helping. I think I'm frustrated because I'm like 5000 miles away and I can't do anything. Adiabatic posted:If you don't come up with a plan that fully line-items exactly how you're going to get back on track, whatever that means to you, with dates on when you're going to do it, by May 21st, I'm denying you your audience.
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Apr 22, 2017 22:28
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I think a month is fair. What's most important right now is Dave staying sober and clearing his head so he can come up with a plan and stick to it, once that happens I'm sure he'll be just fine because we saw what he can do in Valentine when he's off drugs and sets his mind to something, he's unstoppable. Everyone here is pulling for you Dave, stay sober man you can do it.
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Apr 22, 2017 23:11
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Yeah, for him, I think it's less the town he's in, and more the motivations he has. I think having a clear goal, and wrenching on something he had passion for helped more than anything, rather than wallowing in depression and unemployment. Although it did seem like he did just fine with small town life there, so maybe that would work out better for him. Hell, he could probably have his own car shop there in a few years if he really wanted to.
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Apr 22, 2017 23:16
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Agreed. I know some people are saying location won't make a difference but i disagree with that, a lot of times just a change of scenery and culture can do wonders for people, he seemed right at home in the small town culture of Valentine when i initially thought he would be wanting to get out of there asap. It also seemed like the locals took a liking to him as well, if he stayed clean and sober there the possibilities are endless for him.
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Apr 22, 2017 23:26
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Adiabatic posted:Dave, if you truly want help, you need to give us a plan and you need to take action to prove to us that whatever we do to help you isn't for naught. You know where you want to go and what you want to take, so let's see some initiative from you. Yeah, this is fair. We've been feeding Dave with carrots too long, now it's time for some tough love (stick). Dave, don't take this the wrong way, man. We want to help you but we're slowly running out of options.
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Apr 22, 2017 23:29
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When dealing with addiction, never ever underestimate the power of habit, and the complete will-shattering strength of access to the focus of the addiction. Dave needs to get out of Seattle, and not end up somewhere else where meth is easy to find. If we can help him do that, we're doing a good thing for a good dude who deserves a fair shot at life. I hope that if I'm ever in a similar place, I've got as many folks caring about me as Dave does here. In other words, it's right to think "there, but for the grace of God, go I", regardless of your spirituality.
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Apr 22, 2017 23:43
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meth is easy to find everywhere in America. It's a national epidemic. A meth addict is only going to stay clean by not taking any more meth regardless of availability.
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Apr 22, 2017 23:52
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Leperflesh posted:meth is easy to find everywhere in America. It's a national epidemic. A meth addict is only going to stay clean by not taking any more meth regardless of availability. However it's also been seen Dave being anywhere BUT Seattle is good for him. Getting the gently caress out of the place that destroys his soul - first step.
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Apr 23, 2017 00:12
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CAT INTERCEPTOR posted:However it's also been seen Dave being anywhere BUT Seattle is good for him. Getting the gently caress out of the place that destroys his soul - first step. Completely agree of course.
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Apr 23, 2017 00:22
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Meth is a bad ride to get on to. Personal experience here. I moved to Japan and guess what? I found the meth, man. It's everywhere. Dave, I hope you read this and figure out that the change you need to make is not your location. It's in your head. I know poo poo is hosed up now but it gets better. Living proof here. Don't complicate your life by introducing chemicals into it. We are all wanting to see you (Rosie too) do better. Dammit, it's like I see myself, how I was 15-20 years ago in you. Please don't repeat my mistakes.
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Apr 23, 2017 00:32
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CAT INTERCEPTOR posted:However it's also been seen Dave being anywhere BUT Seattle is good for him. Getting the gently caress out of the place that destroys his soul - first step. It was good in some ways but he was there for a temporary basis, on a mission thats far outside daily normal life (working, sticking to a schedule, ect) and even if he wasn't doing meth he wasn't sober.
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Apr 23, 2017 04:38
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Like a lot of people in the thread I recognize some of Dave's problems. I spent years blaming myself for being the one who lived, accepting everything bad that happened as my justified punishment for not saving someone I loved. I felt guilty when I felt good. I didn't deserve to feel good. I made bad decisions because I didn't feel like I deserved to be successful. I had the good fortune to be in a financial position where I could absorb the penalties for paying rent/power/whatever late, or order food when I couldn't drag myself out of the apartment to go to the store. I couldn't have asked for help because I would have convinced myself I wasn't worth it. All that took years to dig out of and even ten years later it's still waiting for me if I let my mind go there. I know it's possible to get out of that. But I don't know how to help someone else out of it. I could say the words "At best you could have delayed it," and they would make sense, but I wouldn't believe myself. I'd mourn the lost days or hours instead. It was a long path and I spent a lot of time backtracking because I thought that's what love was supposed to do. I guess I had to figure out how to want to live for me, rather than for us, and understand that moving on didn't mean letting go. Does any of this help? I don't know if any of it makes sense, or if I'm projecting, or what. I just hate seeing someone trying to swim in that roiling miasma and not having a rope or anything to offer. All I can do is say it can get better, and you can heal, but you have to make it change. And when I say that I know it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I felt like giving up more times than I'm comfortable admitting to myself. Don't give up, Dave. Even though we're all fumbling around trying to help (and not enable), there's one thing in common. We all know you can do it. And we all know you're worth it. You'll tell yourself we don't know that, we don't know you, we don't actually care, because that's what depression tells you. You have to know it's bullshit. Depression wants you to fail. We all want you to get out of this. You can get out of this. Know it. Hold on to it. The only way you can fail is to give up. Too sappy? Probably too sappy. Screw it.
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Apr 23, 2017 08:09
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First off, Dave: please don't drive on a suspended license. hosed my life good for a few years, and I had a rad mom who could bail me out when it first happened. The cops WILL find you, and gently caress you more than you need or want. Second: you're awesome, and I know you can get your poo poo together. Your charisma and charm are palpable, even through the anonymous wasteland that is SA. You're clever and funny and can go far in this world if you can stop sabotaging yourself. Develop a plan, stay sober, and execute the plan. Third: I'm totally with Adiabatic on the month of purification. I love ya, Dave. But you gotta get it together now, while your body and mind have a chance. We're not getting any younger, and our bodies and minds have only so much stress they can handle before they give up entirely. That said, congrats on the week of sobriety- keep it up! Goonspeed, valiant warrior.
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Apr 23, 2017 08:29
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BraveUlysses posted:It was good in some ways but he was there for a temporary basis, on a mission thats far outside daily normal life (working, sticking to a schedule, ect) and even if he wasn't doing meth he wasn't sober. I have a reputation for making GBS threads on alcohol but even I recognised a drunk Dave was a far big improvement over meth Dave.
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Apr 23, 2017 09:02
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And I guarantee sober Dave will be even better than drunk Dave!
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Apr 23, 2017 12:38
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Breakfast Feud posted:And I guarantee sober Dave will be even better than drunk Dave! +1 on this, please get with some sort of program, NA/AA/whateverA/smart recovery and follow direction. You absolutely don't have to become some sort of born again or whatever. Addiction is a disease that ruins lives, and not only your own. My father is an alcoholic and while he's certainly not the worst, he's made my life pretty hard at times and left me with a lot of poo poo to deal with. Your friends and family most likely wants you to get well. I'm pretty sure we're all rooting for you here in AI and want to see you recover.
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Apr 23, 2017 13:43
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CAT INTERCEPTOR posted:I have a reputation for making GBS threads on alcohol but even I recognised a drunk Dave was a far big improvement over meth Dave. He wasn't drinking the entire time he was there though was he? IIRC he would have some drinks at the end of the day and wasn't abusing it. But yeah completely agree, he was doing much better and likes good whiskey so what.
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Apr 23, 2017 17:00
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So are we gonna tap the "harm reduction" forum for help?......
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Apr 23, 2017 18:24
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No, we want him to get better, not try LSD.
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Apr 23, 2017 18:31
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Try?
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