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Mycroft Holmes posted:there was that earlier confession about the guy who did something with a 13yo when he was 15. why didnt you guys pounce on him? there are romeo and juliet laws and let me go on and on for paragraphs about them
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Apr 21, 2017 21:57
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EGG
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Apr 21, 2017 23:10
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BEES
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Apr 21, 2017 23:10
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🐣🐝🐝
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Apr 21, 2017 23:11
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Suck a Dick No Homo posted:Daisy Fuentes is real!!! 😍
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Apr 21, 2017 23:49
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Sjs00 posted:yoga pants girl goon should have rented a boat This page is just full of Always Sunny references 
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Apr 22, 2017 00:08
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Indolent Bastard posted:People are pork, so just use the same pairings you would with a swine sausage. A rich Chardonnay with good acidity works well, but sweeter wines are also good options so a Riesling should pair well. Glaze that pork/goon belly in Guinness/Cider. Also matches extremely well with a medium-dry cider or a hoppy IPA.
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Apr 22, 2017 00:25
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loquacius posted:I brought ur mom a nice chianti last time I gave her some human sausage and she seemed pretty happy with it Mum's the word on mom jokes, Loquaa. Enjoy your vacation.
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Apr 22, 2017 00:31
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quote:In high school I was bored and liked screwing around on AIM, so I made a fake account that was a girl. I mostly used it to gently caress around with my friends, saying I had a crush on them. Amazing how easy it was to fool your buddies back then just by using a fake name and writing in purple text. I'd prank them for a bit, then be like "here's a picture of me" and link them to goatse or lemon party or tubgirl or something. Classic high school boy stuff. quote:Sometimes I resent my fiancee. She and I don't have a lot in common. Sometimes we consume the same media. She has lots of friends outside of me and to be honest I don't, I didn't grow up in this area and am terrible at meeting people and making friends. She wants me to go out and meet people but my hobbies are nerdy poo poo and I don't really like hanging out with other nerds. I don't know what to do. I hope this resentment is stress-related and temporary because getting a divorce is gonna suck and I'm too chickenshit to quit by the time we get married.
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Apr 22, 2017 00:54
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" He asked for a cell phone number, I said I didn't have one, and that was that.
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Haha for all he knew you were the older brother of the girl or something. Anyway good work
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Apr 22, 2017 01:01
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🎶Eleanor Eggbee died in the church and was buried along with her time husk🎶
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Apr 22, 2017 01:04
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Fiancé goon, you don't have to marry a person you don't like. In fact, you probably should not marry a person you do not like
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Apr 22, 2017 01:25
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but change is scaaaary
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Apr 22, 2017 01:35
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Sounds like he resents her because she has friends and he doesn't. If he met some people this might not be a problem.
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Apr 22, 2017 02:15
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It's not clear that's the primary concern. The confession begins with them having very little in common, besides, "liking some of the same media". But I do agree that if it is just an issue of making friends, then that's something he should either rectify, get therapy emote, or find someone who's socialization doesn't stress him out or whatever the hell is going on
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Apr 22, 2017 02:30
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That marriage will blow up within a year, might as well  now and find a real hobby and friends will come naturally after that (or won't, but at least you'll have a hobby to enjoy)
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Apr 22, 2017 03:37
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Sometimes people are kind of lonely in one aspect of their life, and so acclimated to it that they don't realize how bad it is until they meet someone else whose life is not like this. Whether it is like this guy who doesn't have friends, or like some people who have dysfunctional relationships with their families while their partners have great ones, resentment can sometimes build up. It is important he goes out there and at least tries to make friends, because your spouse can't be your everything; its not fair to them that they have to be the equivalent of a bunch of friends/associates that a more social person would have to balance themselves. People should be close to their partner but have a part of their life outside just the confines of their partner as well, I think that is completely normal and healthy. I do have sympathy for trying to make friends later in life, because I think it is harder once you are out of school and less likely to be surrounded by people of a similar age/interests as you are. I drifted away from some of my older friends because they were too nerdy for my tastes, and found that people in their 30s and 40s are either not nerdy at all or full blown turbonerds.
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Apr 22, 2017 15:14
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An open relationship seems the obvious solution
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Apr 22, 2017 15:20
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My wife and I moved to her home city about 4 years ago, from my hometown, and most of the people we've met are through her. My main two friends are back home. And by main two friends, I mean the two guys I can call up almost literally whenever, ask anything of, and they're totally down for it. Everyone else is a varying level of acquaintance, really. And I'm actually fine with that. Well, I was more fine with it when I wasn't 9 hours away from them. Whatever, I'm 34, have two kids, I no longer expect to find another group of guys (or girls) who share my general mixture of interests. If I do, great, bit even then, those new people won't be my friends back home with 10-20 years of friendship behind us.
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Apr 22, 2017 15:45
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Clockwerk posted:Fiancé goon, you don't have to marry a person you don't like. In fact, you probably should not marry a person you do not like Why can't people just loving take this to heart
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Apr 22, 2017 15:52
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This is from like 5 pages ago, but:Leprechaun goon posted:Leprechauns in the oldest stories are small invisible drunken assholes. They will break things and hurt people unless they have a steady stream of alcohol and entertainment. Leprechauns are not invisible, nor are they assholes. Not even in the oldest stories. Michael Page, Robert Ingpen "The Encyclopedia of Things That Never Were" posted:Unlike other fairies, a leprechaun may be seen quite easily by mortals. Those who have seen one describe him as a merry little fellow dressed in green, with a red cap, leather apron, and buckled shoes. The Mighty Moltres fucked around with this message at 18:54 on Apr 22, 2017 |
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Apr 22, 2017 18:46
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quote:I work at a movie theater and I like to smell the seats after the movies clear out. Only seats where cute girls were sitting, I'm not completely deranged. I've said this before, but fetishes based around smelling sweat are just the most incomprehensible thing to me quote:I grew up with every advantage possible. White, straight male for one. Rich parents for another - dad was a lawyer, mom's family was wealthy from a grandparent in the 20s investing in railroads. We lived in a mansion, we traveled the world, I went to a private school and had private tutors for anything I found difficult. I'm pretty sure every child of extremely rich parents is at best mediocre yeah I dunno how it's possible to grow up all silver-spoon style and end up with the requisite emotional depth to give a poo poo about anything at all, honestly. I think if you're actually 1% megarich the only way to have your kid turn out normal is to only let them know how rich you are once they're finished developing into an adult. Probably the richest way to raise a kid that makes sense is to get a normal-sized house in some super-gentrified neighborhood which has one of those elite public schools that's full of other rich kids all knifing each other to get into AP classes, etc etc. That way they're privileged in a way that will definitely help them, but they won't notice the extent of it unless they're really paying attention. Raise your kids like you're Donald Trump and you'll end up with Donald Trump Jr for a kid, and nobody wants that.
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Apr 22, 2017 18:49
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Failson goon, have you thought about The Army
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Apr 22, 2017 18:51
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CheesyDog posted:Failson goon, have you thought about The KISS army fucc u mom and dad
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Apr 22, 2017 19:13
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CheesyDog posted:Failson goon, have you thought about He already has enough kids as it is. No sense in putting him in an organization that sends him around the world so he can get more chicks pregnant. At this point he should get a vasectomy. It's cheaper than whatever he's doing now. Even if he joined the Army after that he'll still wash out. He has zero drive. The military can help someone be driven but can't give them the drive when they have none.
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Apr 22, 2017 19:21
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limp_cheese posted:He already has enough kids as it is. No sense in putting him in an organization that sends him around the world so he can get more chicks pregnant. Well, he has a sex drive. Apparently he's too stupid to find out if such things as latex-free condoms exist.
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Apr 22, 2017 19:31
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"Get a vasectomy" is actually really onpoint advice for failson goon, come to think of it Like, it was presented in a semi-joking manner but that's probably the most utility he will get out of a single act. Even therapy probably won't help him
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Apr 22, 2017 19:35
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therattle posted:Well, he has a sex drive. Apparently he's too stupid to find out if such things as latex-free condoms exist. There are some made of sheep skin but they do not protect against STDs. One can only hope confessor doesn't realize this and dies of super AIDS in the near future
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Apr 22, 2017 19:36
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loquacius posted:"Get a vasectomy" is actually really onpoint advice for failson goon, come to think of it That or get some polyurethane condoms and get over disliking them.
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Apr 22, 2017 19:39
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Radical and BADical! posted:There are some made of sheep skin but they do not protect against STDs. One can only hope confessor doesn't realize this and dies of super AIDS in the near future There is a huge range of latex free conforms available but yes, let's hope he gets bad ones
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Apr 22, 2017 19:40
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How does such a failure of a human being find women willing to get close enough to him to get impregnated in the first place?
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Apr 22, 2017 20:08
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How the hell do you start a fire in a lawyer's office? And if you destroyed a hard drive in the process it means the whole computer had to burn like a torch. At that point you've basically destroyed the whole office, not just a hard drive and some documents.
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Apr 22, 2017 20:10
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Doctor Malaver posted:How the hell do you start a fire in a lawyer's office? And if you destroyed a hard drive in the process it means the whole computer had to burn like a torch. At that point you've basically destroyed the whole office, not just a hard drive and some documents. It could be an external hard drive.
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Apr 22, 2017 21:14
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Panfilo posted:How does such a failure of a human being find women willing to get close enough to him to get impregnated in the first place? No one said what caliber of woman he was finding. If the dude has enough Faygo and makeup, jugglettes are an option.
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Apr 22, 2017 21:29
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Fiction Writer posted:I spent the next 2 years traveling through Europe to clear my mind and center myself. Mom and Dad paid. Got a girl pregnant in Brussels, thankfully my parents were able to hush her as well. Why bother paying her off, she's in Brussels. What is she going to do, convince the country to declare war? No wait, Brussels is a city-state, they can't declare war on their own. (My entire knowledge of the world is from playing Civ.) Fiction Writer posted:Starting working as an intern at Dad's law firm. Made some pretty big mistakes, lost them a few clients. Dad said I must be bored, gave me some more responsibilities to keep my mind going. Started a fire in the office one night I was working late. Unfortunately destroyed a hard drive and burnt a lot of documents pertaining to a $45 million dollar lawsuit against our biggest client. So I lost our biggest client. Which led to layoffs. Which led to me getting fired. Which led to my dad getting laid off. 1) No way does a law firm hire interns who aren't in law programs, even if Daddy works there. 2) No way does an intern get put on anything that important. 3) Any remotely competent firm will have any valuable data protected by multiple redundant backups. 4) Most law firms don't file lawsuits against their clients.
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Apr 22, 2017 22:09
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if a client of your law firm gets sued the firm probably has some documents about it
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Apr 22, 2017 22:23
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lol @ "paying 1200 a month to some whore." yeah the nerve of that whore for wanting to get a little bit of money out of some rich fucker who knocked her up and then tried to dip out immediately. never met a rich person who didn't deserve death.
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Apr 22, 2017 22:29
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Panfilo posted:How does such a failure of a human being find women willing to get close enough to him to get impregnated in the first place? Well he calls them whores so maybe he's being literal and using the trust fund money on hookers. Sounds like he's a real slut tho
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Apr 22, 2017 22:35
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Getting pregnant seeks antithetical to a hooker's business model though.
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Apr 22, 2017 23:00
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quote:I work for the New England Patriots' social media team. There was a slight kerfuffle in the media recently. Some of the organization attended the White House, a photo came out showing that there were significantly less people there than in 2015, and we issued a statement that basically said "Nah there's just as many people here." speaking as a Pats fan and a Trump hater none of this seems unlikely to me in the least quote:I had a dream where my folks and I watched Manchester-by-the-sea. Right after the movie finished, my mom had a meltdown, stole a car from the parking lot, and became a vigilante y'know you can tell people about your weird dreams in-person and stuff, no need for anonymity there here's a third one bc these two are both p short quote:A woman once tried to hire me to steal a baby. Apparently her ex-husband and his new wife had just had a baby, and the crazy woman was convinced it was "hers" so she looked up random local security/PI contractors and wound up in my office (note that my company did IT and information security, accounts, video monitoring etc. nothing to do with kidnapping, babies, or kidnapping babies).
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Apr 22, 2017 23:04
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