- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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Please do not share your search keyword with us.
i don't even use one bro, all the ones i post are current and fresh off the presses
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Apr 23, 2017 16:56
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 11, 2024 21:50
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- BOOTY-ADE
- Aug 30, 2006
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BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT
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A car crashed into my [23M] sisters [26F] house and it missed her baby's [8m] cot by a few feet. My father decided this would be a good time to tell her she's overreacting.Non-Romantic
submitted 3 hours ago by SistersHouse
Our (25f/27m) neighbors (40s?) keep parking in our driveway. How can we get them to stop without damaging relationship?Non-Romantic
submitted 13 hours ago by Dumpsterdriveway
Time to suck it up and have the car towed. What a bunch of babies.
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Apr 23, 2017 17:15
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Never date a woman named after a Christian virtue. Faith, Chastity, Hope, etc.
Just don't do it.
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Apr 23, 2017 17:53
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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My [28F] husband [28M] refuses to stop selling pot to a small group of friends even though we have a baby
quote:We have been together for 7 years and married for 2. We are financially stable and we own a house in a great family neighborhood. We trust each other very much and there are no concerns of infidelity. We generally have a good time together, but we definitely have our differences and butt heads from time to time. Our child was unplanned but we both got on board with the surprise. However, our versions of being a responsible parent are a bit different.
Background: I think it's important to know that my husband hates his traditional 9-5 office job that he has had since we graduated college. He had trouble adjusting from the freedom of college life to being tied to a desk for 40 hours a week, and he has made it clear that I am the only reason he stays. Sometimes when he’s in a bad mood because something isn’t going his way, he’ll say he hates his lovely life. If I say “gee, thanks” or something like that, he’ll say “ugh you know that’s not what I meant!” He denies resenting me for being cursed with a normal life (my words, not his), but it sure sounds like it. That being said, he loves our child and our child just absolutely loving adores him. Nothing warms my heart more than seeing them playing together.
Another thing to explain upfront is that we both smoke pot (of course, these days it’s only after the baby goes to sleep). Many may disagree, but I don’t think a parent unwinding from a hectic day by smoking a joint after their child has been put to bed is any worse than a parent unwinding at night with a glass of wine or two. I am also not a stereotypical “lazy stoner.” I'm a very driven person that has always been an A student and I have a promising career ahead of me once I finish my masters degree. That is, if my husband doesn’t bring it all crashing down in flames first...
The main issue: He has been selling pot to a very small group of his close friends off and on since college. The only financial gain is that it covers the cost of the pot we smoke. Basically he views it as a harmless hobby. I’ve never been thrilled about it, but he is “careful” and if he did manage to get caught (pre-baby), then yes it would be a very bad situation, but not one of no return. Frankly, he is from a wealthy family that will always be his financial safety net, and they would want to nip a charge like that in the bud and hire lawyers for him. However, as soon as I got pregnant I knew I needed to get him to stop because if he got caught now our lives would be destroyed, rich parents or not. If police came to our house for him and realized that he has a child, we could very well get him/her taken away. Even though I am not directly involved, it would be pretty obvious that I knew what he was doing. Furthermore, I wouldn’t pass a drug test.
The other night we got into a big argument because I brought it up again. No matter what I say, he tells me my argument is pointless because it’s never going to happen. I say he can be as “careful” as humanly possible and still end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. He tried to dismiss this by saying if our child was taken away, he/she would probably go live with one of our parents and “it wouldn’t be the end of the world.” I got very upset at this and said any scenario where I don’t get to raise my child is absolutely the end of the loving world! Not to mention that our parents are all in their 60s and the last thing they need is to raise another child. He then kept getting more and more pissed off and acted like it was my fault that this is even has to be an issue in the first place. He said he has toned down a lot and he is “done changing.” I was floored by this statement. But wait, it gets better! His example was that he had wanted to make a room in our house a grow room, but he couldn’t do that now because of the baby. WHAT?! I told him I never would have been ok with that, baby or not. At this point we just kept going in circles and we eventually agreed to table the conversation because it wasn’t going anywhere. After we both cooled off, we basically acted like nothing ever happened and enjoyed the rest of the night watching tv. We are currently still acting like the other night didn't happen, but there's definitely an elephant in the room.
There are a lot of good parts of our relationship and we make a good team in other ways, and I want our child to grow up with both parents like we both did. But keeping our family together could actually end with our family shattered, our careers destroyed, and our child having to grow up without one or both parents and know the reason why was drugs… it’s just beyond words. I hate myself for letting this go on for so long. And him saying he is “done changing” has just been on loop in my head ever since he said it. I know that I have to leave if he still won’t stop. But I would really just rather him grow the gently caress up and actually stop!
I have never issued an ultimatum in a relationship because it just seems like a lovely way to approach a problem--but I don't really see any other way around it at this point. To be honest, I'm scared to say it because I imagine it going one or two ways: he says he won't stop and we get divorced, or he says he will and then that just adds on to his resentment. While I do think that it's unlikely that he will get caught, it is still a stupid, reckless risk. But he will see it as me taking away one of the few things he enjoys doing, and that I was willing to break our family up over something that is “never going to happen.”
So, I guess what I’m looking for is 1) words of encouragement that I’m doing the right thing and 2) possible phrasing of the ultimatum OR another way to approach the argument that might make him look at things differently.
tl;dr my husband views selling pot to a very small group of his friends as a hobby and something he will most likely never get caught for. I view it as a stupid and reckless risk that could result in getting our child taken away. I know that by staying I am being just as irresponsible as him, so I have to leave if he won’t stop. I need advice on how to approach the ultimatum and/or future arguments about it that may work better.
Edit: In our state it is not legal medicinally or recreationally, but it is decriminalized. This means that if you get caught with a personal amount that is under 1/2 oz, then you walk away with a $200 fine, maximum. So basically it's not a criminal act to have a small amount in your possession, but it is illegal to smoke it.
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Apr 23, 2017 17:56
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- Anagram of GINGER
- Oct 3, 2014
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by Smythe
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edit: not feeling so hoss today
Anagram of GINGER fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Apr 23, 2017
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Apr 23, 2017 18:08
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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My [28F] husband [28M] refuses to stop selling pot to a small group of friends even though we have a baby
I have the tiniest of suspicions that the husband wasn't as on board with this as OP was. Not that it makes this poo poo ok.
Sounds like she married someone she didn't think was marriage/fatherhood material with the intention of changing him. I blame her for that one.
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Apr 23, 2017 18:14
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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My [28F] husband [28M] refuses to stop selling pot to a small group of friends even though we have a baby
I have the tiniest of suspicions that the husband wasn't as on board with this as OP was. Not that it makes this poo poo ok.
If he only sells in increments <1/2 oz, he's probably pretty safe.
Usually the way the police bust a dealer is that a customer gets busted, and is offered a deal in exchange for the name of their supplier.
He can probably count on his friends not selling him up the river to get out of a two hundred dollar ticket.
If he sticks to people he trusts and keeps it off of phones/texts he's probably pretty safe.
That all being said - he's apparently not making much money, which means he's getting off on the illegality. Will he be content to quietly stick it to the man, smoking a quick joint before Steven Colbert while the baby sleeps, or will he start "upping the dose" (his true drug being danger).
The comment about the grow room makes it sound like he is. (A smart man would not grow in the house they live in)
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Apr 23, 2017 18:19
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- Anagram of GINGER
- Oct 3, 2014
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by Smythe
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way to overanalyze the poor life choices of a pothead lol
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Apr 23, 2017 18:28
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- Anagram of GINGER
- Oct 3, 2014
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by Smythe
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QFT.
I know three sisters, named Faith, Hope and Charity.
They're all INSANE.
could it be their parents figured everything would be taken care of by fairytale dad and never instilled healthy, real world coping mechanisms in their children?
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Apr 23, 2017 18:57
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- Big Bowie Bonanza
- Dec 30, 2007
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please tell me where i can date this cute boy
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I [24 F] just found a piss jug in my boyfriend's [32 M] Room.
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/670tq3/i_24_f_just_found_a_piss_jug_in_my_boyfriends_32/
I have so many questions and I need advice on how to handle this. So we have been together for about 3.5 years. We live together but we have separate bedrooms. I know that some people think this is weird, but it works for us for many reasons. (He is allergic to my cat, so he needs a room without cat dander. We have different philosophies on cleanliness. And I was raised an only child so it is just really important to me to have my own space.) So anyway, tonight he went to dinner with some of our friends. I was invited but I decided to stay home because I wanted alone time. While he was out, I went into his room because I wanted to sleep in his bed so that we would sleep together tonight when he got home. While I was getting ready for bed, I saw it. I saw a gallon jug that was originally meant for water but now it had a bit of a yellow substance in it. And I thought, ".. no way. That can't be what I think it is." So I had to be sure. I opened it and wafted it to my face to determine what it is and ... yup, it was pee. I seriously have NO idea how to handle this situation. I know that I have to confront him about it, but I don't know the best way to go about it. Why the gently caress is he peeing in bottles? The bathroom is literally on the other side of his bedroom wall. I never would have expected this from him. He seems normal in every way. I know that online some people make jokes about weird 4chan nerds having piss bottles laying around, but I never would have expected this from my own boyfriend. I know that he will be really embarrassed when I bring it up, and I don't want him to feel attacked, but I really need to know why he would do that. What the gently caress do I say to him?? TLDR: I found my boyfriend's piss bottle and I HAVE to figure out why he does that but I also know that he will be mortified to know that I saw it so I need advice on how to bring it up in a sensitive way.
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Apr 23, 2017 18:59
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- 54 40 or fuck
- Jan 4, 2012
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No Yanda's allowed
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Hey guys, why are you always pissing and cumming in and on things that were not meant to be pissed or cummed on or in?
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Apr 23, 2017 19:08
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- Panfilo
- Aug 27, 2011
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EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬
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Hey guys, why are you always pissing and cumming in and on things that were not meant to be pissed or cummed on or in?
Ask Pnurtis when he's 14
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Apr 23, 2017 19:12
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- Anagram of GINGER
- Oct 3, 2014
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by Smythe
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I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut through pissbottle conversations. You think pissbottles are bad, try shitbagging. But no, it gets better. What about holding the bag for someone else
My third deployment we spent a lot of time in the back of MRAPs. I was the platoon medic, so the back of the platoon sergeant's MRAP was my ambulance-type area. Medical people will tell you things like blood and poo poo and piss just don't really matter, and add the closeness of a deployment on top of that.
Well our gunner needed to poo poo sometimes, and instead of stopping and circling the wagons I offered to cut the top off an MRE bag and hold it so the gunner could poo poo in it. The opening of the bag is pretty big, comes out to maybe the size of a medium coffee can. The trickty part is the weight of the poo poo will change the shape of the opening rather suddenly.
When I offered to wipe his rear end too, our gunner refused but then our platoon sergeant got in on it and said he'd better not take his hands off the 50 cal. We were all connected with headsets so this is all piped into our ears directly.
Obviously there's very little excuse to pee in bottles when you're in your own home or apartment. But JUST SO YOU KNOW it's when people get grossed out by it that you sound like precious snowflakes. The laziness and the gross factor are two separate issues to me.
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Apr 23, 2017 19:18
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- 54 40 or fuck
- Jan 4, 2012
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No Yanda's allowed
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Elsa, take your meds
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Apr 23, 2017 19:23
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- Danaru
- Jun 5, 2012
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何 ??
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Cowardly special snowflakes: bluhh bluhh why would someone piss in a jug instead of the toilet that's unsanitary and gross
Elsa, strong and enlightened: let me wipe your poo poo covered rear end or I will have you held in front of a military tribunal
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Apr 23, 2017 19:29
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- Who What Now
- Sep 10, 2006
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by Azathoth
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Hey guys, why are you always pissing and cumming in and on things that were not meant to be pissed or cummed on or in?
Because every cell in our bodies is drowning in gently caress chemicals
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Apr 23, 2017 19:42
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- Anagram of GINGER
- Oct 3, 2014
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by Smythe
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She should replace the pee bottle with a bedpan
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Apr 23, 2017 20:01
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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Hey guys, why are you always pissing and cumming in and on things that were not meant to be pissed or cummed on or in?
the world is my piss jar, hear me tinkle
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Apr 23, 2017 20:07
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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i think the real issue is that man had his privacy invaded. i'm not a libertarian but i do believe that a man should be able to do whatever depraved acts he wants in the privacy of his bedroom. one could argue that invading someone's private space and then pisshaming them is a form of abuse.
it isn't but that's what's great about the internet, you can just say things
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Apr 23, 2017 20:12
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- Big Bowie Bonanza
- Dec 30, 2007
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please tell me where i can date this cute boy
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there's only one bathroom at my grandma's house and sometimes there'll be like 10 of us there and sometimes you gotta piss in the backyard
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Apr 23, 2017 20:18
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- 54 40 or fuck
- Jan 4, 2012
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No Yanda's allowed
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i think the real issue is that man had his privacy invaded. i'm not a libertarian but i do believe that a man should be able to do whatever depraved acts he wants in the privacy of his bedroom. one could argue that invading someone's private space and then pisshaming them is a form of abuse.
it isn't but that's what's great about the internet, you can just say things
I hope OP is getting ripped to shreds for invading her boyfriends privacy
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Apr 23, 2017 20:19
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- Anagram of GINGER
- Oct 3, 2014
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by Smythe
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I hope OP is getting ripped to shreds for invading her boyfriends privacy
being an only child I think she's less likely to empathise as part of the discussion. Like, separate rooms?
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Apr 23, 2017 20:27
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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I hope OP is getting ripped to shreds for invading her boyfriends privacy
i mean you can't have it both ways - if monitoring my girlfriend's movements via an app i surreptitiously installed on her phone is abusive so is pisshaming
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Apr 23, 2017 20:28
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- Grem
- Mar 29, 2004
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Can't post for 16 days!
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Elsa is speaking the real about poop and pee on deployments. There's a lot worse things than a smell that eventually goes away or getting your gunners poo poo under your fingernails.
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Apr 23, 2017 20:30
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- Anagram of GINGER
- Oct 3, 2014
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by Smythe
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Elsa is speaking the real about poop and pee on deployments. There's a lot worse things than a smell that eventually goes away or getting your gunners poo poo under your fingernails.
that's 2hardcore4me man I had latex gloves
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Apr 23, 2017 20:32
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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I would rather have my man on the .50 cal pooping in bags and staying frosty, than not.
The best part is, you have a new, warm MRE for later! Just add Tabasco.
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Apr 23, 2017 20:57
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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I would rather have my man on the .50 cal pooping in bags and staying frosty than not.
The best part is, you have a new, warm MRE for later!
You won't be able to tell the difference.
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Apr 23, 2017 20:57
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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I (27/f) lost my boss/friend (63/m)'s trust due to an unfortunate oven accident.
quote:I have worked at a bar for the past 3 1/2 years and we are all REALLY close. We consider each other family. I'm especially close with the owner, Sam, and he is like the dad I never had. I love and respect him very much and he has done a ton of amazing things to help me out over the years, for which I'm extremely grateful. He's just a great person overall. I have also become very close friends with his daughter, Alyssa (36), and I work with her as well. Sam has another daughter, Emily (12), who he is a single father to, and I think of her as a niece or little sis.
edit - idk where else to put this but I just wanted to clarify that he's more like my boss's boss, he's not my direct manager, he owns the bar. I could work there and only see him maybe 10 min a week if I had to. Sorry if that was confusing but typing "boss" was most succinct, but we do not directly work together
A couple of months ago, I was living with a boyfriend, and long story short poo poo hit the fan and I needed to get out of the house ASAP. Sam told me that I was welcome to stay with him and Emily while I got back on my feet. He has had plans for awhile to go on a trip this month so we agreed that I would stay at least until January, to watch the house and take care of the animals. He has 3 cats and a bearded dragon, and one of the cats is diabetic and requires twice-daily shots.
Everything has mostly been smooth sailing during the time I've been here. I purchase all my own groceries, toiletries etc and he owns the house and does not expect me to pay rent, and most of the times I've offered to chip in on bills he has refused. I clean up around the house a bit but he has a maid come to the house so it's mostly just cleaning my own messes, or small daily poo poo like dishes/countertops. He has a bad back so I always lift everything over 10 lbs , I help with the animals, etc. i cook for Emily and sometimes pack her lunch, and when we can all get together for dinner I cook them homemade dinners. Anything I am asked for I do it because I am a guest in their home. I would like to think that I have shown that I am responsible and respectful.
On Christmas Eve, of all days, i made a huge mistake. Around 5 p.m. Sam was napping, and I was watching OITNB with Emily. We were having a great time. She said "hey I have Christmas cookies in the fridge (the kind that you break apart and bake) do you want to make them?" I went to preheat the oven. (Ughhhh how I wish that I could turn back time.)
For whatever reason I have very rarely used the oven here. I think I have only used it two or maybe 3 times. I did recall that some pans were stored inside the oven, but I remembered them as metal cookie sheets from last time I had to use the oven. So I did not think that would be a big deal to preheat the oven and then take them out. Famous last words. It turns out that there was one of those countertop grills stored inside the oven which is partially made of plastic. In my mind it is a little unusual and hazardous to store a plastic flammable item inside of an oven. I have lived in a lot of homes with a lot of different people and that is something I have never personally seen or dealt with. So it did not occur to me to check for flammable items - huge oversight. It was very careless of me. I am sure you can imagine what happens next but I will type out the gory details regardless.
Emily and I realized that the oven was indeed smoking and when I opened it and realized the plastic grill was in there, my heart sank. They have an alarm system that automatically calls the fire department as soon as the smoke alarm goes off. We called them and told them it was unnecessary but they did still come. I was hoping that it was just the grill that was ruined and I would just have to purchase a new grill and clean the oven. Unfortunately according to what the fireman told us, the oven is damaged beyond repair. I was/am horrified by the damage I caused. edit: as soon as we learned the oven's fate, I did offer to pay for all damages, but I will have to pay in installments.
I spent the remainder of the night sobbing and apologizing profusely. Sam did give me a hug and said "I know you did not do it on purpose." I think that he just said that because I was so hysterical. I could tell that he was very upset with me and I absolutely understand why because this careless mistake will not be cheap for him to replace. I know that he is not doing great with money right now because our bar is not doing wonderful. Hence why I'm afraid that it will take me a while to repay him. I also did give a "better" apology later when I was calmed down and basically said that I would never want to disrespect their home and that they've been so generous with me, etc.
We were supposed to go to Star Wars that night with Alyssa, and Sam did ask me if I was still coming, but his tone and demeanor towards me made me opt to stay home. I didnt want to ruin his night. I cried myself to sleep. Then I woke up on Christmas with a sore throat and fever so I stayed downstairs all day. Usually every year we do "Jewish Christmas " with Chinese food and a movie; this year he did not invite me but that's OK since I wasn't feeling well any way. We were barely speaking. We also barely spoke on Saturday and I still felt sick so I called out of work.
Sunday was the last day before his trip. He had previously shown me how to do the shots for the diabetic cat, but I planned to do it in front of him before he left to make sure I was doing it right. So I figured I would do her evening shot. However, a couple hours before we normally do her shot, i heard someone at the door.....it was the neighbor lady, and he was giving her the full tutorial to take care of the pets. I was really hurt to be honest. Just because I made one mistake doesn't mean I can't take care of animals,.he knows ive been a life long cat owner and even had a cat who needed shots for her liver when I was in high school. So I was hurt but understand I hosed up by breaking the oven and there are consequences.
When I was at work I sent him a text that said "in case I don't see you, have fun on ur trip!" I got paragraphs back. He said he's incredibly disappointed in me that I didn't ask him about practicing the insulin shots earlier in the weekend, and it made him feel that he could not entrust me with his animals health. He said that when I stayed downstairs and was quiet towards him, that showed that i did not care, and that I had let him down the one time he really needed me. And that I could put the cat's health at risk. That absolutely broke my heart. I love that cat so much, she's my baby and lays on my chest every chance she gets, I would never jeopardize her health. It also crushed me that he mistook my anxiety/attempt to give him space as apathy towards the needs of him and the animals. All he had to do was say "hey let's practice her shot" and I would've been happy to do it. He had said he just wanted to go over the procedure once so I thought Sunday night would be fine?
How do i show him that i love, respect, and care so much about this entire family, and maybe begin to gain a little trust back? Step one so far is tell the neighbor lady that if she can give me the shot tutorial i can do all the animal stuff. Step two is find a room to rent so Im no longer a burden. Step three is start giving him money for the oven. I don't know what else to do.
Sorry this got so long, guys. Just wanted to give the relevant background info. I appreciate anyone who read this.
tl;dr: My boss is my close friend and I've been staying with him. I accidentally broke his oven. Now he doesn't even trust me to feed his cats. I'm sad and want to do anything I can to show him that he can still trust me.
UPDATE: I had the neighbor lady come over tonight (Monday night) and show me how to use the insulin pen for the cat. I've taken over the pet care for the remainder of my boss's trip, except for the bearded dragon because the neighbor's five year old daughter was incredibly stoked to feed him so I couldn't deny her that haha 
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Apr 23, 2017 21:21
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Lots of people store stuff in ovens but imho never store anything in there that can't be hot or on fire. If you store your cookie sheets in there or whatever everything's going to be ok.
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Apr 23, 2017 21:28
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Move over Slyvia Plath, we've got a new improper oven usage story that demands a novelization.
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Apr 23, 2017 21:33
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 11, 2024 21:50
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- Big Bowie Bonanza
- Dec 30, 2007
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please tell me where i can date this cute boy
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i had a super fuckin sweet terminator car when i was a kid and put it in the oven like it was a garage and my mom melted it because she didn't check first
literally have never forgiven her for that
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Apr 23, 2017 21:34
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Apr 23, 2017 16:56
