Post itt every time you lol that trump is president

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Post itt every time you lol that trump is president

Dizz: Feb 14, 2010; L L

Drunk & Ugly posted:

i thought id take a break from drinkin a lot and just do some exercise etc and try to figure things out and i felt good

then i came back and trump is still the president and he sends out 12 year old girl tweets and hes being condemned by psychologists and the entire world and nobody does anything cause welp thats it, he got the votes maybe or osmething and anyway this has never happened before how could we possibly know what to do with such an rear end in a top hat!! and its horrible but in a Twin Peaks way where I'm laughing and yeah lol

Listen, the juicero is the best thing I've ever had in my entire life, let me tell you. this thing is simply amazing, just the absolute best. I push the button and it goes through the air to the machine that I want some juice, Isn't that just amazing? I've never seen anything like it before.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 01:14

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 21:02

Jel Shaker: Apr 19, 2003

turn off the TV posted:

https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/856258508030955520
https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/856259280948908032
https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/856259750522171394
https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/856255614636490753

Now that's a slow burn of a funny. The reporter has actually noted that, technically, he overachieved one thing but his blatant lying has sullied the whole endeavour

# ? Apr 24, 2017 01:17

UnfortunateSexFart: May 18, 2008; ð» ððð« ð·ððð·
ð ð ð ð« ð®ð ð¾ð ð ð¡ððð

TotalLossBrain posted:

My 70 year old mom thought it was really cool when Hillary responded like that.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 01:16

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

UnfortunateSexFart posted:

My 70 year old mom thought it was really cool when Hillary responded like that.

i don't understand how performing weird little head motions in order to make wonderful 2 second gif loops didn't cinch it for her

# ? Apr 24, 2017 01:32

Blind Rasputin: Nov 25, 2002; Farewell, good Hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world.

Lime Tonics posted:

also, look,

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/856233279841849344?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/856234989591121922

He is referring to something that was on fox and friends this morning saying there was a poll that asked "do you regret your vote?" And 93% said no. Because loving of course they did.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 01:33

boar guy: Jan 25, 2007

turn off the TV posted:

https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/856258508030955520
https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/856259280948908032
https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/856259750522171394
https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/856255614636490753

oh my goodness

# ? Apr 24, 2017 01:33

Tumble: Jun 24, 2003; I'm not thinking of anything!

turn off the TV posted:

https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/856258508030955520
and so on and so on

holy poo poo this is good stuff. just so it doesn't get glossed over, this is this full AP transcript that was in one of the tweets in your post

https://apnews.com/c810d7de280a47e88848b0ac74690c83

lol imagine how hard people have to work just to keep Trump from speaking too long to the media. this is probably the catalyst for a ton of 3am "WHOS JOB WAS IT TO WATCH TRUMP!??!" group text.

The AP Trump-Chat article posted:

AP: I do want to talk to you about the 100 days.

TRUMP: Good.

AP: I want to ask a few questions on some topics that are happening toward the end of the interview.

TRUMP: Did you see Aya (Hijazi, an Egyptian-American charity worker who had been detained in the country for nearly three years) ...

AP: Can you tell me a little bit about how that came about?

TRUMP: No, just � you know, I asked the government to let her out. ...

TRUMP: You know Obama worked on it for three years, got zippo, zero.

AP: How did you hear about this story?

TRUMP: Many people, human rights people, are talking about it. It's an incredible thing, especially when you meet her. You realize � I mean, she was in a rough place.

AP: Did you have to strike a deal with (Egyptian President Abdel-Fattah) el-Sissi over this?

TRUMP: No. No deal. He was here. He � I said, "I really would appreciate it if you would look into this and let her out." And as you know, she went through a trial. And anyway, she was let go. And not only she, it was a total of eight people. ...

haha he is straight up senile and suffering from some form of personality disorder lmfao

Tumble fucked around with this message at 01:46 on Apr 24, 2017

# ? Apr 24, 2017 01:42

sexpot: Nov 12, 2016; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Blind Rasputin posted:

He is referring to something that was on fox and friends this morning saying there was a poll that asked "do you regret your vote?" And 93% said no. Because loving of course they did.

REMINDER :frogsiren:

please do not disrespect these gentle creatures, they need perpetual buttering-up or they will lay their genitalia on the railroad tracks to show you how much they hate you and everybody who looks like you

# ? Apr 24, 2017 01:42

LordSloth: Mar 7, 2008; Disgruntled (IT) Employee

Lime Tonics posted:

also, look,
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/856234989591121922

WRONG BIG! Apparently Trump can say something stupider than "Bigly Wrong".

From the full AP transcript also mentioned, that is a goldmine. Even after barely glancing over it, it is already producing shiningly beautiful turd nuggets of lol. Trump on Merkel, " We had unbelievable chemistry."

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:00

NotWearingPants: Jan 3, 2006; by Nyc_Tattoo; Nap Ghost

Drunk & Ugly posted:

i thought id take a break from drinkin a lot and just do some exercise etc and try to figure things out and i felt good

then i came back and trump is still the president and he sends out 12 year old girl tweets and hes being condemned by psychologists and the entire world and nobody does anything cause welp thats it, he got the votes maybe or osmething and anyway this has never happened before how could we possibly know what to do with such an rear end in a top hat!! and its horrible but in a Twin Peaks way where I'm laughing and yeah lol

Investigations take a while, especially when they are going to arrest the President of the United States. They kind of need all their Ts crossed and Is dotted etc... They can't just yell "Stop Resisting" and shoot him.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:04

Tumble: Jun 24, 2003; I'm not thinking of anything!

LordSloth posted:

From the full AP transcript also mentioned, that is a goldmine. Even after barely glancing over it, it is already producing shiningly beautiful turd nuggets of lol. Trump on Merkel, " We had unbelievable chemistry."

he's right though, people did find it hard to believe their interaction

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:06

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Chemisty like potassium and water

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:08

Runaktla: Feb 21, 2007; by Hand Knit

If I voted Trump I would not have regretted my vote.

Think about how boring and standard a Clinton White House would have been.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:09

Runaktla: Feb 21, 2007; by Hand Knit

Like I'd be clawing my eyes out.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:10

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

happyhippy posted:

Cat food will be a staple US food item soon.

When that runs out we will eat cats.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:17

Fasdar: Sep 1, 2001; Everybody loves dancing!

I'd just be sitting here, job security well in hand, ready to gin up some more devastating research on climate change impacts and our ludicrously unprepared society/infrastructure/ecosystems/everything.

Now I get to laugh about the orange man and go to thousands-strong protests where the main point of contention is that policy should be based upon facts and not made-up grandma's forwarded email blog posts.

LOLCOTI (Laugh out loud crying on the inside for you newbs)

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:18

turn off the TV: Aug 4, 2010; moderately annoying

Runaktla posted:

Like I'd be clawing my eyes out.

But we would have Trump TV.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:20

Lime Tonics: Nov 7, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

DHS secretary on homegrown terror: "I don't know how to stop that"

Department of Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly said he doesn�t know how to stop �homegrown terrorists,� despite saying that the homegrown threat is the �most common� threat facing the U.S.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/dhs-secretary-john-kelly-on-homegrown-terror-i-dont-know-how-to-stop-that/

lol

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:22

Dizz: Feb 14, 2010; L L

Why listen to science when I can listen to a crackpot washed up shell of a man give me conspiracy theories about some random billionaire who is making marijuana extremely strong because he tests it yearly "like the police do"

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:23

Runaktla: Feb 21, 2007; by Hand Knit

turn off the TV posted:

But we would have Trump TV.

That would be just as annoying as all my pro Trump friends reposting infowars/breitbart links all day.

Way different when the currently acting president has the nuke button, an easily triggered inferiority complex, and short term memory problems.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:27

Faith For Two: Aug 27, 2015

Tumble posted:

holy poo poo this is good stuff. just so it doesn't get glossed over, this is this full AP transcript that was in one of the tweets in your post

https://apnews.com/c810d7de280a47e88848b0ac74690c83

lol imagine how hard people have to work just to keep Trump from speaking too long to the media. this is probably the catalyst for a ton of 3am "WHOS JOB WAS IT TO WATCH TRUMP!??!" group text.

haha he is straight up senile and suffering from some form of personality disorder lmfao

AP article posted:

AP: One more 100 days question.

TRUMP: That's fine.

AP: ... is do you think you have the right team in place for your next 100 days?

TRUMP: Yes. I think my team has been, well, I have different teams. I think my military team has been treated with great respect. As they should be. I think my other team hasn't been treated with the respect that they should get. We have some very talented people, and very diverse people.

AP: Do you mean your White House team when you say that?

TRUMP: Yeah, my White House team. I think Reince (Priebus) has been doing an excellent job. I think that, you know, this is a very tough environment not caused necessarily by me. Although the election has, you know, look, the Democrats had a tremendous opportunity because the electoral college, as I said, is so skewed to them. You start off by losing in New York and California, no matter who it is. If, if Abe Lincoln came back to life, he would lose New York and he would lose California. It's just the registration, there's nothing you can do. So you're losing the two biggest states, that's where you start. OK. The Electoral College is so skewed in favor of a Democrat that it's very, very hard. Look at Obama's number in the Electoral College. His numbers on the win were ... but the Electoral College numbers were massive. You lose New York, you lose Illinois. Illinois is impossible to win. And you look at, so now you lose New York, Illinois, no matter what you do, and California. Right. And you say, man. Now you have to win Florida, you have to win Ohio, you have to win North Carolina. You have to win all these states, and then I won Wisconsin and Michigan and all of these other places, but you remember there was no way to, there was no way to 270.

AP: Right.

TRUMP: So she had this massive advantage, she spent hundreds of millions of dollars more money than I spent. Hundreds of millions ... Yeah. Or more, actually because we were $375 she was at $2.2 billion. But whatever. She spent massive amounts of money more and she lost. Solidly lost, because you know it wasn't 270, it was 306. So there's anger. But there was massive anger before I got there, so it's not easy for a White House staff to realize that you are going into a situation where you are going to be at no, where are going to get no votes. I mean, here's a judge who is No. 1 at Columbia, No. 1 at Harvard and an Oxford scholar. And he got three votes.

AP: Three Democratic votes, but yeah.

TRUMP: Three Democratic votes. OK. He's an Oxford scholar at the highest level. The No. 1, you know, one of the great academics, one of the great writers. No bad decisions with all ... nothing. He's like a ...

AP: Do you think that you can break through that? I mean this �

TRUMP: Yeah, I do.

I only bolded the part where he talks about the election.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:29

nooneofconsequence: Oct 30, 2012; she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

https://twitter.com/DavidCornDC/status/856290293691293696

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:33

Lime Tonics: Nov 7, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

Donald Trump Exposes Donald Trump

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUuHDOq58XU

lol bigly

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:38

Lunchabully: Jul 20, 2003; Pillbug

Faith For Two posted:

I only bolded the part where he talks about the election.

lol he's like a guy in his 30s still talking about that game-winning catch he made back in high school

it'll be 2020 and he'll have accomplished nothing and he'll still be yammering on about how Hillary lost bigly, big big loss, very big

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:52

bag em and tag em: Nov 4, 2008

59 missiles. It's more than 79 missiles. I shot them bigly into Iraq.... Syria. Being president, a very bigly job. Interview over now. Golf time.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:54

Cobweb Heart: Mar 31, 2010; I need you to wear this. I need you to wear this all the time. It's office policy.

Lime Tonics posted:

Donald Trump Exposes Donald Trump

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUuHDOq58XU

lol bigly

this is the type of poo poo i've been waiting for.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:57

END OF AN ERROR: May 16, 2003; IT'S LEGO, not Legos. Heh

The potus said super duper in an interview

# ? Apr 24, 2017 02:58

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Tiny Lowtax posted:

The potus said super duper

I lold in public irl at this

# ? Apr 24, 2017 03:03

Knight: Dec 23, 2000; SPACE-A-HOLIC; Taco Defender

I'd ask what time he gave that interview, because it sounds like the answers someone would give if they'd been up for 24 hours and are exhausted, but it was probably 10AM.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 03:10

Dizz: Feb 14, 2010; L L

those tomahawks, amazing amazing weapons. We fired them at ISIS and they didn't see it coming. they're everywhere! scrambled like roaches.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 03:13

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Trump is a weapon of mass stupidity

# ? Apr 24, 2017 03:14

turn off the TV: Aug 4, 2010; moderately annoying

Faith For Two posted:

I only bolded the part where he talks about the election.

quote:

it's not easy for a White House staff to realize that you are going into a situation where you are going to be at no, where are going to get no votes.

That does sound hard to realize.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 03:20

Regrettable: Jan 5, 2010

Lime Tonics posted:

Donald Trump Exposes Donald Trump

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUuHDOq58XU

lol bigly

This is wonderful.

# ? Apr 24, 2017 03:22

crazy cloud: Nov 7, 2012; by Cyrano4747; Lipstick Apathy

Tiny Lowtax posted:

The potus said super duper in an interview

and i just had a super dee duper lol @ this thank you

# ? Apr 24, 2017 03:33

Tumble: Jun 24, 2003; I'm not thinking of anything!

guys this AP article we're talking about here: https://apnews.com/c810d7de280a47e88848b0ac74690c83

it was a sit-down, written interview that President Trump had time to prepare for. He was not caught totally off guard here, this is how he talks when he's had time to think about an upcoming interview
lmfao he can't even prepare for an interview when it's written in advance in his calendar

Tumble fucked around with this message at 04:27 on Apr 24, 2017

# ? Apr 24, 2017 04:22

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Trump probably saw this

https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/856213687727730692
https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/856213733550567424
https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/856213648217341952

# ? Apr 24, 2017 04:43

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Trump probably saw this

https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/856213687727730692
https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/856213733550567424
https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/856213648217341952

President fails to do anything of consequence or value.

Drives opinion ratings and congressional ratings into the ground.

Embarrasses United States internationally.

Fox News asks the important questions: Why isn't anyone saying nice things about the president!?

# ? Apr 24, 2017 05:00

Quidam Viator: Jan 24, 2001; ask me about how voting Donald Trump was worth 400k and counting dead.

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Trump probably saw this

https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/856213687727730692
https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/856213733550567424
https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/856213648217341952

OMFG LOL holy poo poo, if you were ever serious about thinking this was a country where people could still be thought of as "rational actors" holy gently caress

I DAARRE you to break through this loltastic smokescreen of bullshit and try to "convince your fellow citizens" that we should work together on anything. i mean gently caress, this is "meta-news", produced by a "news organization" to talk about how the "news" is totally loving biased against your team, full stop.

my head just loving fell off lol just lol we live in a country with people who have abandoned all reason and people in dnd are talking about issues :laffo:

# ? Apr 24, 2017 05:03

COMRADES: Apr 3, 2017; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

# ? Apr 24, 2017 05:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 21:02

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

The Associated Press Posted posted:

AP: Dreamers, you've talked about them, you've talked about heart earlier. This is one area where you have talked �

TRUMP: No, we aren't looking to do anything right now. Look, the dreamers ... this is an interesting case, they left and they came back and he's got some problems, it's a little different than the dreamer case, right? But we are putting MS-13 in jail and getting them the hell out of our country. They've taken over towns and cities and we are being really brutal with MS-13, and that's what we should be. They are a bad group, and somebody said they are as bad as al-Qaida, which is a hell of a reference. So we are moving criminals out of our country and we are getting them out in record numbers and those are the people we are after. We are not after the dreamers, we are after the criminals.

AP: And that's going to be the policy of your administration to allow the dreamers to stay?

TRUMP: Yes. Yes. That's our policy. I am not saying ... long-term, we are going to have to fix the problem, the whole immigration problem. But I will tell you: Right now we have a great gentleman, one of my real stars is Gen. (John) Kelly, now (Homeland Security) Secretary Kelly. We are down 73 percent at the border, we are cleaning out cities and towns of hard-line criminals, some of the worst people on earth, people that rape and kill women, people that are killing people just for the sake of having fun. They are being thrown in jails and they are being ... all over the country and nobody's ever done it like us, so we are being unbelievably thorough with that. We are out in Long Island cleaning out the MS-13 scum, they are all scum, that's probably the worst gang anywhere on Earth. ...

AP: A lot of the dreamers have been hoping to hear something from you. I don't want to give them the wrong message with this.

TRUMP: Here is what they can hear: The dreamers should rest easy. OK? I'll give you that. The dreamers should rest easy. ...

It's so incredible how nothing makes any sense at all. Like not a single thought connects to the previous thought. Can you imagine talking to a person like this and then saying "yes this person should make key decisions that impact my life?" Like this person should be in charge of my finances and home security?

Extrapolating this is very depressing because I'm pretty sure it only ends in civil war. RIP

# ? Apr 24, 2017 05:26

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Post itt every time you lol that trump is president

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