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Did you know that Jesus wore sunglasses, my main man? |
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Apr 24, 2017 12:56
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| # ? May 6, 2024 14:59 |
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Manifisto posted:hey op, history teaches that the most successful way to introduce a foreign concept to a cultural group is to integrate it into an idea or practice that is already widely accepted. you may, for example, find more success saying things like "accurate punctuation gets you really high" or "correct quote marks look like little sixes and little nines, when you quote properly you're really writing the funny sex number lol".
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Apr 24, 2017 12:57
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Happy halloween
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*Does a kickflip up the halfpipe and nails the landing* "You could say Lazarus was a pretty sick dude."
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Apr 24, 2017 13:01
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"Maybe you should look up the Easter Bunny on that smartphone. Some call him the original hip hop artist."
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Apr 24, 2017 13:03
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dldFWuPt5OM |
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Apr 24, 2017 13:24
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N. Senada posted:Did you know that Jesus wore sunglasses, my main man? Disciples: Why are you wearing those sunglasses, Jesus? It's dark out. Jesus:  Because I am the light.Disciples: 
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Apr 24, 2017 15:03
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google THIS posted:Disciples: Why are you wearing those sunglasses, Jesus? It's dark out. lol ---------------- |
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Apr 24, 2017 15:06
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Classic Jesus: "Behold! The water is now wine! Cool Jesus: Yeah man, hand that oregano over... "BEHOLD THIS poo poo IN AND TAKE IT TO THE HEAD!" https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Apr 24, 2017 15:20
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the young pope is cool |
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Apr 24, 2017 15:36
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and then Moses was like "dayum that bush is liiiiiit" |
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Apr 24, 2017 18:31
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"let there be light!" and the good lord lit up |
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Apr 24, 2017 18:34
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And on the sixth day The lord dropped a sick beat And it was fire |
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Apr 24, 2017 19:00
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Splatmaster posted:Classic Jesus: "Behold! The water is now wine! Lmao |
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Apr 25, 2017 16:15
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[manna falls from heaven coating the desert dunes] moses: time to shred the gnar my dudes!! |
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Apr 25, 2017 20:00
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*moses arrives at israel after 40 years of leading his people through the punishing desert wastes* nah yall i dont think imma go in., doesnt really look like my scene ya know? you guys enjoy though, its supposed to be great in there i heard |
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Apr 25, 2017 20:03
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Newly accepted method of baptism involves doing the dab with your arm covered in holy water |
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Apr 25, 2017 21:24
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Isn't this how megachurches happened?
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Apr 25, 2017 21:43
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old jesus: distributes the loaves and fishes to his disciples new jesus: distributes the loaves, drops the bass (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Apr 25, 2017 22:12
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Jesus standing on the water next to the boat, "Push start the whip, my homies."
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Apr 25, 2017 22:24
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:Jesus standing on the water next to the boat, "Push start the whip, my homies." in this parable, "the whip" is eternal salvation
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Apr 25, 2017 22:25
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Jesus isn't really part of any clique, he can hang out with the jocks, the nerds, the stoners, whatever
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Apr 25, 2017 22:35
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Saul of Tarsus - pulls out 11 lime green rope bracelets "So I went ahead and got us all wine-tent bands for the show tonight since I didn't throw down on that righteous cross-blunt Simon rolled earlier" |
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Apr 25, 2017 22:57
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Classic Jesus: Then Jesus said unto them, "Give back to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's." And they were amazed at him. Cool Jesus: Then Jesus said to them, "Pass it to the left my Dudes." And they were amazed at him. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Apr 25, 2017 23:58
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"truly i say to you, you may puff twice before passing." and they all went out from that place to spread the true herb of God to the People. |
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Apr 26, 2017 00:10
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Cool Missionaries don't call them commandments, it's more like guidelines to maintain the calm. Thou shall try not to bogart is a lesson learned early on by acolytes
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Apr 26, 2017 00:31
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The 1 commandment: 1. Thou shalt be chill.
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Apr 26, 2017 02:14
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Twenty Four posted:The 1 commandment: |
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Apr 26, 2017 03:26
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The one time his disciples saw him angry, Jesus was chasing some fuckin narcs out the temple, shouting: "My crib is called the house of chill, but youve just gone and ruined that you assholes" |
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Apr 26, 2017 07:07
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Traditional Jesus cursed the fig tree for not having figs on it. Cool Jesus accepted that the cycle of the seasons is what it is and invented pizza instead.
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Apr 26, 2017 13:07
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"Whoa whoa whoa, this is NOT the type of stoned I was talking about, my dudes"
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Apr 26, 2017 15:45
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hockey jockey posted:Traditional Jesus cursed the fig tree for not having figs on it. i always thought jesus was being very unreasonable to the fig tree |
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Apr 26, 2017 17:36
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Regular jesus: "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" Cool jesus: "let he who is without sin get stoned first." *hits blunt, passes it* "then everyone else can too" |
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Apr 26, 2017 18:05
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Regular jesus listens to choruses of angels Cool jesus listens to Tubthumpin by Chumbawumba |
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Apr 26, 2017 18:07
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Passover is a sacred time in which you make sure all of your buddies get to take a hit of the good stuff. It comes from an important Moses moment where he declared that the Angel of Chill would passover the blunt to all the good boys and girls but not to the uptight Pharaoh who was straight up a dick.
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Apr 26, 2017 18:29
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| # ? May 6, 2024 14:59 |
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Have you heard about the cool my friend. it is a force that is given to you that can tap into. we seek this powerevery day and night 24/7. if you need to cool down or look nice we study that, im not saying you need it but hopefully you can tell thats what we do.
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Apr 28, 2017 02:02
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