NFL Draft Thread 2017 - Oil up my Head Edition

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Draft Thread 2017 - Oil up my Head Edition

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Pakled: Aug 6, 2011; WE ARE SMART

Reminder
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/464595378990747650

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:52

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# ? May 10, 2024 19:31

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

Ches Neckbeard posted:

Jimmy Haslam and analytics. I hope he dies soon and the wife sells the team already.

9 out of 10 homeless vagrants agree

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:53

Bigass Moth: Mar 6, 2004; I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...

Pakled posted:

Reminder
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/464595378990747650

Well he was exciting to watch, but for the wrong reasons.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:53

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

http://deadspin.com/ok-the-nfl-draft-has-gone-too-far-481471464

quote:

OK, The NFL Draft Has Gone Too Far

This is currently happening outside Radio City Music Hall, where the NFL draft will be starting shortly. These guys are carrying stupid football hats in glass cases like each one of them is the loving Hope Diamond, and that is just so stupid. Just look at them, smugly posing for photos and walking down a red carpet as if they are part of some kind of sacred ritual and not just a concocted spectacle meant to boost weeknight business at Hooters restaurants across the country. I hate this picture. This picture is dumb.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:54

Slowpoke!: Feb 12, 2008; ANIME IS FOR ADULTS

SKULL.GIF posted:

http://www.sbnation.com/nfl-mock-draft/2017/3/29/14869968/nfl-draft-2017-best-names-jake-butt-raekwon-mcmillan

code:

QB	Gunner Kiel		Cincinnati
RB	Shock Linwood		Baylor
WR	Speedy Noil		Texas A&M
WR	Bug Howard		North Carolina
WR	Kermit Whitfield	Florida State
        who'll be the NFL's first Kermit since the '70s. Think of the memes!!!
TE	Jake Butt		Michigan
OT	Max Rich		Harvard
OT	Justin Senior		Mississippi State
        indeed a redshirt senior
OG	Forrest Lamp		Western Kentucky
OG	Damien Mama		USC
C	None have fitting names. Air Force S Weston Steelhammer will just have to bulk up.	
DE	Taco Charlton		Michigan
        who tried not to like tacos (because of his nickname), but succumbed
DE	Gimel President		Illinois
DT	Dee Liner		Arkansas State
        who is a D liner
DT	Chunky Clements		Illinois
LB	Raekwon McMillan	Ohio State
LB	Ironhead Gallon		Georgia Southern
CB	Corn Elder		Miami
        who was offered by the Cornhuskers and later had one of his best games against them
CB	Will Likely		Maryland
        who goes by William these days
S	Money Hunter		Arkansas State
S	Budda Baker		Washington
S	Fish Smithson		Kansas
K	Chris Blewitt		Pitt
P	Alex Boy		Nevada

It's simple but Dee Liner really made me smile. It sounds like one of those pun names you see in a video game.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:54

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005; Can't post for 5 hours!

Chicks got a hose

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:55

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

She is also the #1 pick in the WNBA draft

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:58

Doltos: Dec 28, 2005; 🤌🤌🤌

Turns out thats Kelsey Plum from Washington, she's the #1 pick this year for the WNBA

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:59

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

SKULL.GIF posted:

http://deadspin.com/ok-the-nfl-draft-has-gone-too-far-481471464

ahahaha I love it.

I mean everything about the NFL that happens when the ball isn't in play is larded up with pageantry. Football is a multi-billion dollar entertainment industry. Everything and anything that adds to the entertainment is just good business.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:58

fsif: Jul 18, 2003

Leperflesh posted:

ahahaha I love it.

I mean everything about the NFL that happens when the ball isn't in play is larded up with pageantry. Football is a multi-billion dollar entertainment industry. Everything and anything that adds to the entertainment is just good business.

Concur.

The closer the NFL gets to the WWE the better.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:00

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

SKULL.GIF posted:

http://deadspin.com/ok-the-nfl-draft-has-gone-too-far-481471464

Those should be military veterans or NFL cheerleaders dressed as hooters waitresses.

get your act together NFL.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:02

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Doltos posted:

Turns out thats Kelsey Plum from Washington, she's the #1 pick this year for the WNBA

Oh hey.

http://www.swishappeal.com/2017/4/26/15440724/kelsey-plum-throwing-arm-nfl-wnba-nba

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:04

Gatts: Jan 2, 2001; Goodnight Moon; Nap Ghost

Ehud posted:

with the first pick in the 2017 NFL draft the browns select

https://twitter.com/dailyloud/status/857424078633922562

Please ducking sign her for the Browns as a UDFA so we don't draft a QB and have a pretty QB with a great arm and intangibles who will help promote a forward thinking NFL. QB whisperer Hue can get to work. Then go draft Corey Davis and OJ Howard and OTs and OG.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:04

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; New Love Glow

SKULL.GIF posted:

http://deadspin.com/ok-the-nfl-draft-has-gone-too-far-481471464

Football owns.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:08

ozymandius1024: Mar 15, 2006; You don't yank on the Spine of God

Leperflesh posted:

Oh hey.

http://www.swishappeal.com/2017/4/26/15440724/kelsey-plum-throwing-arm-nfl-wnba-nba

And she's a lefty :swoon:

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:10

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

weird Asian candy posted:

You divorced her because of her butter face? Can't say I disagree.

Helluva arm though

Butter face? Seriously?

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:26

fsif: Jul 18, 2003

https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/857647242026643457

So uh, does that imply Trubisky and Watson both go in the first 12 picks, then?

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:30

weird Asian candy: Aug 23, 2005; Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.

Intruder posted:

Butter face? Seriously?

I mean she looks like a Jimmy Fallon/alien love child

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:34

Gatts: Jan 2, 2001; Goodnight Moon; Nap Ghost

She's fine. Please sign. She fits the NFL basketball narrative.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:33

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

So, I've done barely any of the normal prep for the draft, I don't even know who i want the Bears to take, other than not a QB

Anyone want to give me a run down on who the best defensive players after Garrett are?

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:34

weird Asian candy: Aug 23, 2005; Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.

The Glumslinger posted:

So, I've done barely any of the normal prep for the draft, I don't even know who i want the Bears to take, other than not a QB

Anyone want to give me a run down on who the best defensive players after Garrett are?

Thomas/Adams more than likely

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:35

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

weird Asian candy posted:

I mean she looks like a Jimmy Fallon/alien love child

She's a pretty girl with an unusual smile, so what?

But this has nothing to do with the draft so, moving on

e: couldn't help myself :v:

Intruder fucked around with this message at 18:42 on Apr 27, 2017

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:37

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; New Love Glow

Get that creepy gif dude in here to exhaustively analyze Kelsey Plum, who, on a side note, I immediately distrust due to the proximity of her name to the Plumlees.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:41

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; Ultra Carp

wandler20 posted:

Here's a fresh one:

https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/857634947477241857

I swear to God in Heaven if the Lions draft a loving tight end in the first I'm driving up to Allen Park with torches and pitchforks.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:41

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; New Love Glow

Which Jimmy G is sexier. Male or female

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:43

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

thrilla in vanilla posted:

Which Jimmy G is sexier. Male or female

I copied the wrong link so Jimmy G is gone from this page, but female Jimmy G looks a lot like Cobie Smulders

Here's Jimmy again

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:44

fsif: Jul 18, 2003

https://twitter.com/LanceZierlein/status/857647095565516800

I often come very close to thinking the Titans are going places, but then I remember Mike Mularkey.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:43

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; New Love Glow

If you could be the meat in a male/female Jimmy G sandwich, would you?

Yes. Also, would female Jimmy G be named Jenny G or Kimmy G

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:46

weird Asian candy: Aug 23, 2005; Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.

Intruder posted:

e: couldn't help myself

lmao, see it's loving Jimmy Fallon!

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:47

Harlock: Jan 15, 2006; Tap "A" to drink!!!

weird Asian candy posted:

I mean she looks like a Jimmy Fallon/alien love child

Sam Bradford's face put through the face app female filter

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:48

axeil: Feb 14, 2006

I know nothing about the draft because I know nothing about college football, I'm gonna rely on you guys to tell me if I should get Real MAD irl about who the Eagles draft or to start saying 19-0 over and over again.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:54

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; New Love Glow

You should want Corey Davis or Mike Williams or John Ross or BPA, which I imagine will be one of the safeties by that point

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:57

Michael Corleone: Mar 30, 2011; by VideoGames

I want Mahomes, if he falls to 32 to be specific for this hypothetical would the Saints take 33 and a 6th or even 7th for the swap if we told them they could probably trade it for a lot more than that?

e; I mean the 33rd pick they could trade it for a great deal if someone wants someone that slipped out of the first. We want the 5th year option.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:57

axeil: Feb 14, 2006

thrilla in vanilla posted:

You should want Corey Davis or Mike Williams or John Ross or BPA, which I imagine will be one of the safeties by that point

Thank you for your help friend!

# ? Apr 27, 2017 18:59

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

I think the 49ers should trade down from 2nd so they can get more picks because they have a billion positions of need. Is that dumb or a good idea.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 19:05

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Leperflesh posted:

I think the 49ers should trade down from 2nd so they can get more picks because they have a billion positions of need. Is that dumb or a good idea.

Depends on if the Browns Browns their way into Mitchell Trubisky at 1

# ? Apr 27, 2017 19:05

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

Michael Corleone posted:

I want Mahomes, if he falls to 32 to be specific for this hypothetical would the Saints take 33 and a 6th or even 7th for the swap if we told them they could probably trade it for a lot more than that?

e; I mean the 33rd pick they could trade it for a great deal if someone wants someone that slipped out of the first. We want the 5th year option.

It cost the Vikings a 4th to move from 40 to 32, so probably somewhere in the range of a 5th

# ? Apr 27, 2017 19:05

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

fsif posted:

https://twitter.com/LanceZierlein/status/857647095565516800

I often come very close to thinking the Titans are going places, but then I remember Mike Mularkey.

What, you don't believe in Erotic Smash Mouth Football?

# ? Apr 27, 2017 19:05

Lord Waffle Beard: Dec 7, 2013

Wait the draft is today? Seahawks are gonna fleece someone and trade down and male a baller pick. Seahawks are draft geniuses

# ? Apr 27, 2017 19:10

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# ? May 10, 2024 19:31

Wiccan Wasteland: Oct 15, 2012

fsif posted:

https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/857647242026643457

I hope he slides into the 4th round where he belongs.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 19:15

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Draft Thread 2017 - Oil up my Head Edition

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